Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Luxembourg.

 

What are one’s first impressions of Luxembourg?

The place looks like it came straight of out a fairy tale book. With it’s ye auld Saxon-like architecture, Dutch-like canals and cliffs blending with the cityscape, this walkable little city is a great place to spend a couple of days. It’s more of a romantic getaway than a bachelor’s paradise, but fun can still be had on weekends.

What are the women like?

With a population of just over half a million, 44.5 % are of foreign nationality, with 90% of those from within the EU—so it’s not quite the mixed bag as the figures suggest. The majority of these originally come from Portugal, Italy and the two neighboring countries, France and Belgium. A more detailed breakdown can be found below. Local Luxembourgers are supposedly of Germanic descent, although the majority are brunettes and seem more French/Belgian looking. I didn’t find the average girl on the street very beautiful. Attitudes are similar to those found in Benelux countries, albeit somewhat more conservative. Girls don’t dress particular feminine and small town syndrome is a problem. That said, like elsewhere in Western Europe, hooking up isn’t particular difficult.

Where should I go at night-time?

This question, and many others, is best answered by an expat than myself, considering I just pipelined/dated in Luxembourg as opposing to cold pick-up. It was mid-week in snowy winter, after all. That said, I’ve made my inputs below.

Interview with a Luxembourg girl

Anastasia is a young Eastern European hottie, living and working in the city.

Firstly, from your experience, what are best bars/clubs for single people in the city?

I’m not into clubs, but for bars, I’d recommend Rue du Marché aux Herbes. It’s very central street and normally “gold” Lux and International youth goes out there, drinking out of the bars in the street, standing and chatting. Very popular in the summer time. Often-visited bars there are Urban Bar, Palais House, GoTen Bar, Apoteca Club (one my favourites).

[Zolo: I've been to Urban. It was moderately busy midweek with hipster chicks. Not a bad option.]

What your favourite bar(s) for a date spot?

Scott’s Bar, Secret Garden Bar/Club, Gloss Bar, Coco-Mango Bar in Sofitel Hotel, Konrad Café.

[Zolo: I visited Scott's. It's so-so, but its location by the canal is pretty cool.]

How would describe your typical Luxembourg city girl?

Good looking, but a little clumsy. She normally smokes, in the black leather trousers and is quite tall.

How would you describe the dating scene there in general?

Extremely bad. It’s too small. Everybody knows everybody. It seems Luxembourg is great for business, but not for dating. Except for cute Irish guys who come to visit!

[Zolo: Yes...I tapped that.]

Bottom Line

Well worth a weekend. But go in summer.

RELATED CONTENT BY OTHERS:

Paul Janka picks up 7 girls in Lux his first day.

Luxembourg Discussion thread on the forum

 

WARNING: Boast Post.

“What’s your number?” my buddy Brian asked after downing his pint. As is tradition amongst our crew, we had assembled in the local pub for some pre-voyage farewell drinks.

My flight left in a few hours.

“Well, what’s your number for the trip? Two, three?”

He was of course referencing the number of sexual liaisons I expected for my first trip of 2013. (Most guy have a certain figure in mind when it comes to sex when travelling.)

“I don’t know,” I replied. “I’m going for a month and we’re mostly in Muzzyland, so to be honest, I’d be happy with one new flag.”

I wasn’t lying. When you’ve reached triple figures, counting gets old. That said, new flags still excite me. Some of may be surprised to read this, but I set my sights relatively low when it comes to sexing up the ladies when travelling. I’m always mentally preparing for a a poor outcome – or not getting laid at all, for that matter. That way, when expectations are exceeded, I still get a buzz. When you aim super high, like shooting for double digits a month, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself and risk disappointment. Relax, I say. What comes, cums. As a result of this mentality, for the last three years I keep surprising myself with results. I keep expecting the pussy parade to end, but it just keeps on coming. Still, I’m not greedy. Simply one would do.

“You’ll do better than that,” asserted my friend. “Sure you’ll probably get a new flag your first day in Luxembourg.”

I’ve always admired Brian’s confidence in my ability. The guy has more faith in me than I do! Despite the difficulty territory covered in our last trip featuring the Caucasus, the correctly predicted I’d garner four new notches, even when I thought is he was crazy at the time.

Well it turns out he was right again.

The first adventure of 2013 has begun with a whirlwind 24 hours.

Yesterday, just after arranging two dates back-to-back via pipelining, some fucker stole my phone. Foolishly, I left it charging and took a trip to the bathroom. Through 20 countries in Africa I’ve never been robbed once, but my first day in the world’s third richest country some cunt steals my Galaxy. It was a bad start to the trip.

Luckily, despite being unreachable and arriving half an hour late on each occasion, both my dates went ahead.

The first meet-up at 6.30 was with a slim little Bulgarian girl. Nice body, but not great in the face. We had a few drinks, kissed a little bit, and parted ways after two hours so I could meet-up with my 9.00.

The 9.00 was the prize… a smoking Moscowvite. She was your typical ideal-type Russian chick: tall, long fair hair, blue eyes, a naturally pretty face and a beautiful Slavic frame with not a pick of fat. She immediately became intrigued when I started the conversation in (bad) Russian. Combined with her romantic notions of Irishmen, the foundations were set for a great date.

By 1AM, she was bent over her mattress asking me to fuck her in the ass. Good times. Finally, after years of spitting Russian, I finally captured the flag. I’m meeting her again in two hours. Can’t wait.

What a way to start the trip. Tomorrow, I’m meeting two crewmembers in Brussels airport. From there, we fly to the Arabian gulf for the weekend, where we will pick the last two members of our Mexican Pirate crew. Then the five of us will lay siege to the horn of Africa on return to one my favourite countries – Ethiopia.

Avast me hearties!

Yerevan in a word: Passable.

Chance of Hooking up: 1.75 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.75 / 5
Nightlife: 2 / 5
Smoking tolerance: 2 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Bachelor’s budget: $50 per day

Beer: $1.70 a pint.
Bed: $30 per night for an apartment.
Bud: $30 for a matchbox.
Food: $2-3 for a meal.

Currency Conversion

Overview 

Yerevan is no match for the grandeur of its rivals Tbilisi and Baku, but it still has its charms. A walk around Opera Square and a trek up Cascade and Freedom Park in the evening will leave you with a favorable impression of the city—which still outclasses most ex-soviet capitals. Regardless, the main appeal of the city is its laid back vibe. It was the only city in the Caucasus where I’d consider living for a month or two.

The Girls

Appearance: I expected Armenians to be quite homogeneous in looks, but nothing could be further from the truth. The Armenian tribe is similar to the Jewish tribe… they got displaced, became diverse and diluted, and their diaspora kinda came from everywhere once the state was formed. As such, the standard deviation in attractiveness is greater than anywhere in the Caucasus. I saw more world classes stunners here, but I also saw more fatties. It was the only country I saw American-style obese women and Slavic model-types walking down the same street. That said, there are still some common features. Similar to Azeris, the vast majority of the population have black hair (around 75&, often curly), dark eyes and prominent angular noses. Bizarrely, there are also some natural blonde hair/blue eyed Armenians, too. Their average height is 158cm (5 ft 2 in). That stat is kinda deceptive, however, as they have the tallest girls and guys we saw in the region (back to the deviation I was talking about).

If you go to the right spots, you will see some of the sexiest girls you’ve seen in your life. Armenians dress more feminine than Georgians, but less so than Azeris. Girls are quite image conscience and take care of their appearance. A top drawer Armenian in the cream of the region.

Demographics: 98% percent of Yerevan are described as ethnic Armenia, while a few thousand Russian, Iranian and other groups account for the rest .

Attitudes: Armenia is the oldest Christian country in the world and people are still very traditional (by European standards, at least). Indubitably, Armenian girls are the most conservative of all Caucasian Christians and are much more sexually reserved than any of their eastern European counterparts. The average age to get married in 24 and it is estimated somewhere between 60% to 80% of Armenian girls are still virgins when they marry. Interestingly, I had more naked Armenians in my bed than any other nationality in the region, but going from foreplay to intercourse was like scaling Mount Ararat. It’s like Armenian chicks have electric buzzers in their vaginas that go off every time they sense a snake in their mists.  A lot of investment is required to nail them down. If you do, prepare for a lot of attention.  The good news is Armenians are very affectionate, feminine and the perfect blend of sexy versus romantic. I’m not the marrying kind, but if I was, an Armenian woman would be top of my list.

Gaming Strategy: The prime day location to pick up is around Opera square, where many girls hang out on the benches or swam lake. Unlike its counterparts Baku and Tbilisi, nightlife here is actually a good (if not the best) option to meet single ‘liberal’ girls. Unlike Azeris, many Armenian girls drink in bars. You’ll still need to work though. That means a few meet-ups (with you paying the bill) and a lot of comfort building. Yerevan is also one of the worst capital cities I’ve been to for ‘big village’ syndrome. For example: On a walk to the park with one of my dates, she got stopped three times by people she knew. The next day I even had a previous girl I dated bump into us. It was terrible awkward and really fucked shit up. So the lesson here is be discreet. Scope out a quite bar near your apartment and minimise time in public. The good news is that English is more prevalent here than Georgia and Azerbaijan! It was a welcome relief from spitting my bad Russian.

The Dirt

Accommodation: I’ll keep it simple: stay somewhere near Opera Square, preferably between there and Pushkin Street (a good bar street). We stayed at a great place off Pushkin for $35 a night, right by our favourite bar. Look no further than this site: Yerevan Apartments.

Getting High: Where to buy marijuana in Tbilisi: Ask the staff at Process basement bar of Moscow Street. Alternatively ask here.

Yerevan marijuana prices: Prices can vary greatly. Usually about $30 for a for a matchbox, but costs vary from around $20 – $40 max.

The Nightlife 

The nightlife scene in Yerevan was my favourite in the Caucasus – but that’s not saying much. You have a good variety of cool bars with decent music and a party atmosphere. Plus, pretty much everywhere is within walking distance. Here are my top picks.

Hemmingway Bar

Very cliquey, small and quiet, but a good place to bring a date and an easy place to make friends. (Not a place to party by any means.)

Calumet

This little basement ethnic bar was probably my favourite bar in the whole region (provided it doesn’t get too packed). Good vibes, Asian decor, GREAT music (often live bands), laid back crowd, cheap beer, cool staff and lot’s a girls dancing. I had a blast here and kissed a few chicas from here too. The quality isn’t always that high though. Pics and videos here.

Bourbon Street

This bar may well have the highest standard of chicks for in any one place for a thousand miles. DAM! This reason for this? If you want to get in you’ll need a member’s card. To get a member’s card, you need to fill in an application form with photo attached. If you’re not hot or in the know, you’re not getting in. Luckily, as a foreigner you can blag your way in. We were luckily as we got on the guest list through a friend. Great bar, not too pretentious either, despite it’s exclusively. Dress sharp. Facebook here.

My Yerevan Experience

I really liked the city. When I hunting for the mother of my child later in life, I may well mine here. As for my experience with the girls, I actually went to bed with three girls in four days there, but I still don’t have a flag to show for it. I got half a dick in two of them momentarily (both virgins), but I’m not counting it. My only consolation is both girls gave me their first blow jobs (or so they say). One of them became a stalker and camped outside my room for hours on end, the other nearly moved to Ireland so we could be together, so I obviously made an impression. Oh, and funny enough, the third girl and I are actually meeting up next month in Ethiopia of all places. (She lives there and technically and Ethiopian flag though…I think). Random, eh? I love Armenian girls. Totally my type… dark, sexy and innocent.

Experience of Others

Unfortunately, I don’t have refs from any male expats in the city, so I asked some Armenian girlfriends to share their thoughts.

Koh, 20, who spent a semester in the States gives her perspective.

Armenian girls being courted before actually going out on a date is an important thing. When it comes to dating, girls here choose the guy they date very carefully. Most of the times they won’t choose a guy they’re not serious about.

Pre-marital sex is a taboo. It’s socially condemned and even talking about it is not really acceptable.

Marriage and family are very important things for Armenian girls, we take it very seriously. While getting an education and earning your own living are important, family will always take first place. Armenian wives are typical house keepers. The divorce rate here is very low, and being divorced is also socially frowned upon.

I’d say 80-90% of my female friends strongly agree with the idea of no sex before marriage.

You can meet nice girls pretty much anywhere. Girls here are very friendly towards visitors, so if you politely approach someone they’ll most likely respond positively. Don’t be cheap. If you like the girl, then no matter what she says and how much she resists, always insist on paying for the bill and escorting her home [Zolo's Comment: Don't the mind the escort, but do offer to pay for drinks like other FSU countries].

Ri, 26, a blonde Armenian, said this.

Armenia is between the Eastern and Western mentality,  but with a bit more focus on the Western thinking and approaches than those of the oriental world. Things are changing. Currently, pre-marital sex is not such a rare thing for those who love each other and want to take up another step [barf], but virginity is still very common in Armenia before marriage.

Armenian girls are quite different from other European girls you might have met in a way, because apart from being quite hot:), we’re also quite caring wives and mums. I know many local girls marrying foreigners, but to get the trust of an Armenian girl is the hardest thing.

Other testimonials from pretty much every guy I talked to who has been there:

It’s fucking hard to hook up.

Other Resources

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

For more info or if you have any questions on Yerevan…

Armenia Discussion Thread

Armenian Brides: What you need to know.

Armenian girls by Claritalux.