Nicosia in a word: Divided.

Chance of Hooking up: 3 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.75 / 5
Nightlife: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 1 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €4.50 average per pint.
Bed: €40 for a private room. €10 per dorm.
Bud: €20 per gram.
Board: €6.50 for a traditional kebab.
Budget other: Some of clubs/bars outside old town require taxis.

Currency Conversion

Overview

Nicosia in the world’s only divided capital (read the history). It has that grimy front-line charm I like. The old town is very agreeable, albeit a little sedated. Personally, I’m quite fond of Nicosia. It’s culturally kicking and very unique.

The Girls

Greek or  Turkish, Cypriots are sexy. In Nicosia, more than likely you’ll be on the south side where you will be interacting with those of Greek heritage. Similar to the Greeks, Cypriots have dark features and olive complexions. You will see some striking and sexy faces. Their bodies are average for Europe, similar to other Mediterranean types like the Spanish and the Italians.

In general, they are less liberal than Greeks, but less conservative than Turks. I assess this is part due to a small population, and part due to conservative historical influences for the East and the Ottomans. They are a little harder to bed than others in the Med, but are game on all the same.

I would recommend Nicosia to get the flag. Not only is it the most populous city (<400,000),  it also receives considerably less tourists than the seaside towns, encouraging your exotic capital. For day game, Pedestrian Ledras street is by far the best spot.

Nightlife Recommendations

Nicosia nightlife can be pretty varied. The city has a great pub culture, but no real centralised nightlife strip per se. Here are some place I liked or picked up in.

Cave Bar

Located at Skali. This bar is built into an actually cave! A little out of the way and not a place to pick up (although some smoking bar girls), but the perfect place to bring a date. Lowlight romantic candlelight and plush make out cushions. Bring her to the cave and she’ll make you’re bedrock.

Nameless Rock Bar

Tiny place down some dodgy the middle of nowhere. A real ‘in the know’ place.  You’ll arrive thinking – WTF?. But late at night it’s gets full of sexy rock and goth chicks (my thing, if not avoid). I was there twice and each they’re was way more women than men. Scored a Russian here.

Kala Kathumena

Another ‘in the know’ place just of Ledras. Attracts students and the Artsy/Boho crowd. It’s outdoors and a good place to start the night.

Club Nuovo

One of Cyprus’s biggest clubs. The main hangout for the young and beautiful. It’s a little loud but it’s massive and has the best looking girls around. Peacock a little to set you’re apart. Black guys seemed to do well here also.

Getting High

Where to get weed. Go to that bar Kala Kathumena mentioned above. They are nearly smoke. Just ask around..

Marijuana prices: skunk for 35 euros per gram and weed for 20.

More info: Do not even think of smoking in public. you will be arrested immediately. never have marijuana on you as you walk through the city.. at late times e.g 2 A.M+ if the cops see you and you look suspect you may be searched. this is unlikely but it can happen.

My Nicosia Experience

I end up joining a EU interpretative theatre group of all things! Had a great time here. I also met four women in five days. In the process got two flags –  The Flag of Aphrodite & My Iranian flag. Check those stories out!

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Limassol.

What are one’s first impressions of Limassol?

Agreeable seaside town with a decent nightlife. Cyprus’s second biggest city is arguably the best place to get a feel for true Cypriot nightlife (considering Ayia Napa is basically a British colony).  To quote a local: “You go Nicosia for culture, Lanarka to chill and Limassol to party.” However, Limassol disappoints slightly. It’s a little boring, lacks charm, and the nightlife is not centralised, requiring taxis. However, please note my bias: I was there in November. I imagine in the summer it takes on a completely different character with all the tourists in town.

What are the women like?

Yummy Yummy. I have a soft spot for women of Greek heritage. Cypriots in general have dark features and olive complexions. They are less liberal than Greeks, but less conservative than Turks. In my upcoming Nicosia city guide I will detail a greater character description.

What’s different of Limassol is many Cypriots come her to let loose, and as such they are more likely to hook up.  If you want to pipeline, here is not a bad place to start.

What I noticed is nearly all the locals (guys and girls) wear blacks, greys, whites and very neutral shades. At least in November, nobody wore colour. Even wearing a red shirt I stood out a mile. Use this to your advantage.

There is also a stock of Romanian women working in Limassol. In summer, it’s a free for all with women from everywhere in Europe.

Where should I go at night-time?

Limassol nightlife is a little disjointed. You have two options: Yermasoyia and the old town center. FYI- there is only one hostel in town, and that’s in the centre.

If you want to bag a hot local, head for the centre. The crowd can be a little snobby, but the quality here in unparalleled. There are some cool bars to pick up in. Chaplins is reliable any night of the week. Towards and on the weekends, hit Ozo across from the library.  Everyone for these bars usually end up in Retro club afterwards (or at least I think it was called retro.. it began with an r anyway).

If you want to extend your night you’ll have to get in a taxi and head to the Yermasoyia tourist strip. I imagine this place is INSANE it the summer time. Winter, not so much. But regardless what time of year it is – Basement club is the place to be.

The Bottom Line

In summertime it’s the place to be. But personally, I prefer the capital Nicosia.

The other week in Cyprus I was pretty smitten when I captured my Iran flag on Friday night. I’ve had people wondering how it went down. The key points are in bold.

Pre-meet

The night before I’d just gotten my Cypriot flag, so my mindset was rock solid. I was on form. I’d messaged a girl online asking for a good nightlife recommendation. She invited me to a place called Club Nuovo.

Normally, I wouldn’t dare cruise into enemy turf solo to introduce myself to a random chick. All her friends were there – in a loud club setting where I knew nobody. But I thought – fuck it. It was all you can drink for €15… The Irishman in me couldn’t let that slide.

I was drinking with some people from the hostel, so I show up 3 hours late… nearly 2AM. It’s a black and white night, so I throw on my white bandanna – peacocking pirate style.

The Meet

I’m infected by the warm smile of an ashy brunette with piercing Middle Eastern eyes. It was her…

She was taller than me (I’m only 5’7′), but much more beautiful than I expected (she has even dated a famous Turkish popstar). I’d post a pic – but fuck you guys, I actually like this girl. Anyway, her profile and beauty didn’t bother me – I had zero expectations.

We briefly chat. I find out she’s Iranian - Persian… how sexy is that. I whip out my only Farsi -’Salam’. It’s loud, so I pull her close while we talk.

Cockblock. Her friends pull her away.

Fuck that. I wasn’t going to stand around like a tit. I left without saying anything. I go hunting. I grab a drink and start chatting with randomers at the bar. I go for a smoke and game a group in smoking area. I’m making friends left, right and centre.

I return and she’s ask: “Where did you go?”

We chat another bit… I’m heavy on the kino (touching). I find out she moved to Cyprus from Tabriz for study. She’s 22. Man, I wanted her. A couple from the smoking area comes over to tell me I’m a legend (I did a stupid little magic gambit while smoking). Social Proof.

“How do you know these people?” she asks.

Cockblocked again. Another friend of hers appears, all huggy and hyper. Then two Iranian lads compete for her attention. She was garnering quite the audience (obviously a serious socialite), so I disappear again.

The Hook

I hit a golden jealously plotline. I’m at the bar, and get talking to some African guys. They’re hanging with this stunner – easily the hottest girl in the place – a half Cypriot/ half Congolese sexpot.

The African guys freak out when I start speaking Yuroba – their native tribal language in Nigeria (I’ve just been to Lagos and used to date a Yuroba). The halfcast hottie is intrigued. I find out about her Congo roots. My Reponse: “J’ai visité Congo. Vous savez Kivu?” She flips, jumping around like a school girl. Not just because I speak French and have visited her homeland – but because Kivu is a warzone. This girl thinks I’m hardcore.

The Persian sees the sexpot flirting with me and BOOM! She must have thought I was a rockstar.

She came over, took my hand and led me to the a place we could dance. We bump and grind. I isolate her to a quiet part of the bar. We make out. She gets really fucking horny. Pretty soon she whispers in my ear:

“Let’s go back to my place.”

That’s how I roll.