Of course this list will be a little subjective but I think all guys can relate.

Girls, listen up. Here are 10 reasons why you can’t pull decent guy.

1. You’re Fat

Yikes

When you step on the scales it reads “Fuck you!” Guys won’t pick you up if  they can’t actually pick you up. Go easy on the pizza. Allah hates fatties.

A decent booty can be sexy, but cankles certainly aren’t.

Personally I like my women under 50 kilos.

Solution?

Hit the gym. Try eating a salad once and awhile. Move to Mauritania.

2. You Can’t Cook

A chick who can’t cook is like a guy who can’t fuck.

I don’t care if you’re a beauty queen and have a masters – if you can’t cook you’re a FAILURE as a women on a primal level.

I don’t want my kids eating processed muck.

Learn how to make a good home cooked meal.

Solution?

Youtube.

3. You have too much body hair

Ahh!

You’re a yeti. You’re vagina looks like Cousin It.

Women shouldn’t have significant body hair below their neck. This goes without saying. A well groomed landing strip is fine, but otherwise nada. Keep your muff in check. Sandpaper thighs, under arm and wild bush are never sexy.

Solution?

Wax. Laser. Shave .

4. You turn off the lights during sex

Most guys don’t mind if  you’re a little shy or introverted, but when you’re so insecure about your body that you fear light – you have a problem. Men are visual creatures. Confidence is a turn on, even if you don’t rock a model’s body.

Last year in Seoul, one night I went home with a chick from Newfoundland who insisted the lights be turned off. I remember thinking: What was she hiding? Back acne? A cluster of hemroids around her anus? Between that, a few pints, a condom, and no visible stimulation, I could barely keep a hard on.

The next night I went home with an American girl. She had a face like Jessica Alba, but was plump as hell.  That said, she DID keep the lights on and she was super-confident in the sack. Her confidence, above all else, was a massive turn on.

Solution?

Confidence counts. Compromise with candles.

5. You’re a Feminist

You walk like a man.

Traditional feminism promoted suffrage and equal pay. Nobody is  complaining. But equality in terms of behaviour is not cool. A lot of women in the West have spent so much time trying to emulate men, they have lost a lot of made them special in the first place. Ironically, modern feminists are the least feminine breed on the planet. Men like women to be women, not men.

Solution?

Grow your hair long, wear a dress and get in some high heels. If you want to get laid, keep your mouth shut.

6. You’re a slut

If you don’t value you sexuality, men won’t either. No guy wants a girl who passed around like a can of Pringles. I personally wouldn’t consider a serious relationship with any girl who’s had more than 10 cocks inside her. The average women on the planet will have two sexual partners in a life-time – factoring in China, India and the like. Am I promoting double standards for men and women? Yes, because we’re different. Men of value (who are pre-selected) want women of value (sexual integrity). It’s simple sociology. You can complain it’s not fair, but we simply don’t give a shit.

Solution?

Lie. If you like the guy, make him work for it and he’ll value you more.

7. You have no real friends

Women’s friendships are usually weaker than men’s. If you’re the type who ditch’s your mates as soon as you start dating a guy, you’re a sap. Men like women who have friends. They take you out, and give us free time to bang other women play. This makes us happy as we fulfil our genetic imperative. When we’re happy in the relationship we keep fucking you, and you get your regular dose of Alpha dick – your genetic imperative. But aside from my unconventional paradigm, it’s good to have friends in your life – for balance.

Solution?

Make time for your girls.

8. You have no interests

You’re boring. I’ve met rocks that were more entertaining.

The amount of women I meet that have zero interests is depressing. Fashion mags, reality shows and and youtube are NOT legitimate hobbies. Read a fucking book. Take a interest in anything.  Have one thing you’re passionate about. Men only tolerate boring women long enough to deposit their seed – then they move on.

Solution?

Get a life.

9. You Smell

.

You have bad breath. You fart occasionally. When you take a dump, we want to dump you. Men should never smell a women’s shit. It’s poison for sexual attraction. And bad breath can make the hottest woman in the world unkissable. Men don’t want to be reminded you are human.

Solution?

Always carry gum.

If you really need fart or take a shit, drive half an hour to the nearest restroom. We don’t want to know about it.

10. You’re a Serial Queefer

.

Sex with you is like making love to a whoopee cushion.

I once went to bed with a girl in Moldova. Although sexy, when I went down on her, her pussy started spitting back at me. I’d have let a few blips slide (it happens everyone), but while having sex, every thrust felt like I was plunging a toilet. It was just too much.

To make matters worse, she kept coughing to try and cover it up. Trying to bust a nut with some chick spluttering & queefing is futile.

Solution?

Marry a deaf bloke.

Oh… and

11. Bad Posture… stand up straight ladies!

12. An Aversion to head… you will never sexually satisfy your man.

Guys, feel free to comment and add your biggest turn-offs…

I have 10-14 days free for my next mid-term, depending. What do you guys think…

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RANDOM FACT: The bungee that snapped yesterday in Africa – that was the same place I did my first jump!

Anyway. I get a lot of request for more pics on this site. I travel so much, yet I rarely show you guys what I snap. I’m going to change that from now on.

Here are some of my 7 random favourites from my Cairo to Cape town trip awhile back..

1. Sudan

Me at Meroe, Nubian Desert

2. Ethiopia

Blue Nile Falls, near Bahir Dar

3. Uganda

Lake Victoria

4. D.R. Congo

Pygmy tribe settlement turned refugee camps in Kivu... saddening

You can see more pics from Congo here.

5. Kenya

Zebra got game... (Nukuru NP)

6. Namibia

Quading in the Namib... (yeah,, I'm such a poser)

7. Zambia

My favourite moment of the trip...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Bring on 2012.

So how did I do on last year’s resolutions? To remind you they were:

• Visit at least 15 new countries.
• Acquire conversational French
• Capture half a dozen flags.

So, sticking to Travel & Dating, let’s see what challenges 2012 will bring…

1. Release the book

Naughty Nomad is nearly at copy-editing stage. This spring it will hit the shelves. I don’t have a date yet, and I’m juggling  with my Masters, but for sure by this time next year I’ll be an author. I can’t wait! This one is in the bag.

2. Visit 12+ new countries

Bow-chica-waka-waka

In line with my ultimate goal of visiting every country in the world, I need to be visiting at least a dozen new countries a year. I’ve just booked my first few flights of the year. Aside from a weekend in Amsterdam in Feb, the first major trip this year will be in three weeks…

Me and Me hearties are off to the Middle East for our own uprising! We’re hitting Lebanon, Syria (border crossing permitting) and Jordan!  ARGHH!  (That’s 3 countries)

The next trip will probably be in Summer to the Caucasus ( 3 More countries). Maybe Iraq too.

September: all signs point West to a few months in Latin America, where I will tick off the rest of the countries.

3. Acquire Conversational Arabic & Intermediate Spanish

The Arabet.. get it? I is clever.

I’m studying both for while doing International Relations, so this is a fairly testable goal.

I used to have good Arabic when I was in Sudan, but I’ve lost most of it. My lessons and my upcoming trip to Arabia should bring be back to where I was and beyond.  Not sure if I’ll still have enough skills to bed a virgin though..

As for Spanish, I can already have conversations, but want to get up gain some sort of fluency. I taking intermediate Spanish which will test me academically – but picking up in Latin America will truly test me on a practical level. Bring it.

4. Capture half a dozen flags

As I mentioned last year, I’m pretty satisfied if I sleep with 6 new nationalities a year. A little sad you may think, but that’s because your not a shallow flagger like myself.  I’m not hoping for a repeat of 2011. Six is plenty. At 45 flags, I’m starting to run out of countries anyway. This means I’ll be hopefully reach 50 flags in the coming year. O yeah!

Most desired flags of 2011:
Any Arab flag – but I’m not holding my breath.

Most likely flags of 2011:
Probably will be mostly Latin American flags. Maybe a strangler from Europe or the East.

Giggity Giggity!

Fell free to leave a comment on your New Year Resolutions…

Well not exactly. At present I’m a supertramp. But yesterday, Dec 18th, as I curled up on the coach in my Malta homestay, I logged on to find the blog had hit a landmark:

Naughty Nomad has reached 1,000,000 pageviews!

WEHAY!

At present I’m getting well over 100,000 a month and climbing. I’d like to take to opportunity to thank you guys for all your support. My dear readers, fellow manosphere bloggers, and all the other semi-dubious sites that link to me – without you guys it couldn’t have happened.

Also, to all the wonderful women in my life – without you I’d be blogging about iPads.

Expect more crazy stories, city guides and general naughtyness.

In late spring I will finally be releasing the book, and thanks to everyone who has contacted me eagerly awaiting it’s release. It’s been a project two years in the making and it was a lot of hard work, but worth it.

My favourite post – the year in review will be coming up shortly, wrapping up an incredible year.

1,000,000 is just the start..

Have a nice day, kisses and hugs.

NN

This is a ripped post from Gmac and the Private man, who awhile ago did posts calling out their lurkers:

I know you’re out there. I get lots of page views and few comments. The view-to-comment ratio is about 1,500 to 1. Frankly, that’s not acceptable. The other Manosphere bloggers agree. We’ve met in secret to discuss it.

So, I invite the lurkers to post one comment, any comment. Just say hello or something. Tell me where you’re from and what you think about this whole Red Pill, Manosphere thing. Tell me your age, your sex, other blogs your read. Better yet, compliment my blog and the sage wisdom that I dispense. I could use some more fawning sycophants. Or, lay down some righteous hate on my lily white ass. I won’t refuse the comment (with exceptions).

In fact, I’m going to put pressure on you lurkers. Until I get comments from at least 25 new people, I’m not going to update my blog. This post will just sit here.

Now I get over 3,000 pageviews a day, so that tells me many of you readers are a  wee bit shy.

Lurking fans and haters, this is your chance to be heard. Comments and feedback, even the bad, are my favourite. I read them all (including emails). It would be nice to see some more participation around here. Besides… it helps me decide which direction the blog is headed.

What do you think of Naughty Nomad? What do you agree or disagree with? What would you like to see more of? Have I helped you in any way? Anything else you’d like to say?

Comments from 25 new people… that’s all I’m asking. Until then, there will be no new posts and you are all my e-hostages! Share your thoughts, I eagerly await the new faces.

That fucking prick...

For the third time I’ve been caught out.

Someone I’ve been intimate with has stumbled upon my blog.

The first time it happened, it prevented me getting one of Eastern European flags. Before I could arrange a second date she somehow found it (through a sneaky male acquaintance I suspect). We’re still on good terms though.

The s time it happened I knew wrath. The girl was pissed. She was an Afro teen who felt used and abused after being reduced to a flag. She found particular offense in phrases like “black girls are so easy” or my HIV story. Needless to say, she stopped fucking me.

The third time was an Asian girl I hooked up with in Europe. She actually found it ‘lively’ and ‘sexy’.  How cool is that? If you’re reading this right now I want you to know you are awesome!

This is one of the reasons I’ve removed my face from the header. I don’t want to get my ass caught again.

Let this be a lesson to any of you guys who run a game blog.

This is a short post, but I just started my masters this week so I’ve been real busy.

My book is getting close to completion. The first draft is already finished.  22 chapters of mayhem. I can’t wait!

A release date will be coming soon…

I also should mention:

It’s my 25th birthday today!

Just thought you should know…

Ok, now that I’ve pulled you in, let’s replace the word girlfriend with primary.

I don’t have a girlfriend. The term carries too much baggage.

I have a few fuck buddies. And that’s basically all we do.

She only cost 10 cows..

But the odd time I find myself spending time with one of my fuck buddies outside the bedroom. Why? Because I actually like spending time with them. These girls tend to become what I call my “primary”: my favourite if you will.

For some reason my primaries nearly always end up being African girls (often Nigerian). I wondered why…

Be warned: This article is rife with generalisations, but play along…

Lately I’ve being dating a few Asians and Latinas, but they just don’t seem to do it for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll shag em’ no problem, but  in between orgasms I find myself being uninterested or bored. But with many African chicks it’s different. Why?

1. They’re confident. Many girls, espically Asian girls, act all coy and sweet. While it’s adorable and it makes you feel all the more dominant, it’s boring. I like a girl who can have fun with my friends, tell a story, express herself. African culture encourages extroversion. Take your average Nigerian girl for example – she’s full of little idioms, charisma and gesticulation. It’s hot. Confidence is sexy and many African girls have it in abundance.

2. It’s cool. Ok, this is more for non-black guys. Let’s face it, you rarely see non-Afro guys with a black girlfriends. Part of me thinks that many of them are intimidated by them. Personally, I love walking the streets with a Afro chick under my arm, especially one with looks to kill. I love the stares we invite, the evil glares from old racists, disapproving African guys and jealous white girls. It’s a statement. In a post-racist society it’s cool to date outside your race. Fuck anyone who thinks different.

3. They’re really horny. Apart from religious virgins, I find it’s true. “Us African girls are the horniest,” were the words of my first black girlfriend.  The kinkiest chicks I’ve been with have been Afro girls.

4. They’re great in bed. I maintain African bodies are the best going for the reasons stated in my Sex in Africa 101. While some of you may prefer lighter shades, when it comes to ass I generally find the darker the skin, the better the buns. I’ve been with dozens of Afro girls, and let me tell you – when you’re pounding them doggy style it’s hard not to blow your load in the first few seconds. And then there’s those lips, those big succulent lips. Best blow jobs hands down. The best head I’ve ever gotten was off an Angolan and a Haitian.  Plus when you’re in bed you get to call them n**ger. It’s just so dirty and wrong it gets you hard.

5. They’re more accepting of promiscuity. They may not like it, but most African girls turn a blind eye to their guys fucking around. Polygamy is widespread on the continent so women are used to sharing their men. Most African chicks who come to the West will tell you that guys from the own country are pure players. If we take the example of Nigerian guys in Ireland, not all, but many of them would quickly cheat on their Nigerian gf if a half-decent blonde wanted their dick. Don’t ask, don’t tell. The reality is I find Afro girls have no problem with you fucking around provided you’re not disrespectful or don’t talk about it.

Agree or Disagree? Share your thoughts…

hello

Kaloum, "Au Ville"

Conakry in a word: Raw.

Chance of Hooking up: 4 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.75 / 5
Nightlife: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €.80 for a large beer.
Bed: Not many options, €30 average for a private room.
Bud: Cheap, €1 for a decent handful.
Board: €1.50 for a decent meal.
Budget other: The usual: taxis and club entry. Budget an extra €5 a day.

Currency Conversion

Overview

It’s raw, rough and all over the place, but fuck it. Conakry grows on you like E-coli on room temperature British beef. It’s additive. I’ll give it whoever wrote the blurb on the Lonely planet website, they hit the nail on the head:

Conakry is a city with a somewhat split personality. It has an erratic infrastructure and growing crime rate so, like with many cities living under rotten regimes, a visit here can be frustrating for travelers. On the other hand, Conakry is an undeniably pulsating place: colourful, spontaneous, friendly, musical, a little wild, and always full of contrast. The city’s vibrancy and openness come from a very African flavour. These more subtle charms are likely to grow on you with time and many people end up loving the city by the time they leave. It’s tailor-made for a (long) weekend blast.

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

Miss Guinea 2010

Guinean girls are some of the best in Africa; they are often very beautiful, genuine and friendly. This is the only country in Africa where the super cute Fula tribe form a plurality (40%). Other significant populations are the Mande groups Mandinka and Susu, the latter of which mainly reside mainly in Koloum. The capital city receives little or no tourists so you will find it pretty easy to  pick up serious hotties. The catch: basic French is usually required. But trust me, a little goes a long way here. Also, Islam is the dominant religion and most women do not drink alcohol (but still party). During the day, there’s often parties on Ratoma beach with loads of cute girls. Otherwise, Kaloum is your best bet for wealthy women and girls with jobs. If you are Pipelining, do so in French. . The night is still the best option, no matter what type of girl your hoping to meet.

Tip: Try learning a little Fula. It’s easy and the girls love it!

Nightlife Recommendations

You can have what ever type of night you want in Conakry. I stayed in both Koloum and Ratoma so I got to experience the whole myriad of venues in the city. Some of this info you find anywhere else. Here are three solid recommendations, starting from the classiest place in town to the sleaziest.

Crisber

This slick joint is in northern Ratoma near Taouyah, and attracts the young, rich and beautiful. This is the best place to find ‘good’ girls from wealthier families. The standard is here is sky high. Models also frequent the club. The only problem is, it’s a bottle service kind of place. As a result, the beers are a little pricier and  it can be slightly cliquey. Busy most nights, but show up late. Out of the three, it has the highest quality girls but is also by far the hardest to pick up in. Crisber is very much a local haunt so some French is crucial.

Colisium

Located in Taouyah, this place is probably the best option for a night out. It’s a nice big place with a decent dance floor as well as a cool outdoor bar. It’s busy most nights and attracts a mixed crowd of good girls, bad girls, locals and expats. The beers are also cheaper than the other two places. It’s not going to blow your mind, but definitely worth a punt. Don’t show up before midnight.

Bembeya Nightclub

This is Conakry’s dirty little secret. Hidden in upper class district of Kaloum, your taxi driver will probably have to ask for directions. Unlike the other venues, it’s free in (when we were there) but the beers are the most expensive in the city (€2, o no!). This is probably because male patrons don’t stick around too long. Women will fight for your attention.  Some of the girls her are stunning! The best looking girls in the country come here to charm those with deep pockets. That said, it’s easy to shore. You will either love or loath this place (I loved it!).

Getting High

Where to buy marijuana: If you are visiting the Fouta Djion, get it there. In Conakry, ask the guys at the Reggae bar a few doors up from Collosium.

Prague Marijuana Prices: For €1 we got 5 small packs: each enough for two or three joints of pure herb.

My Conakry Experience

Apart from problems getting money, changing accommodation three times and the odd scam, I loved Conakry. Five days wasn’t enough for me. I found the people great and the city extremely diverse and engaging. We went to a great concert on the beach and each night was completely different. As for chicas, Gary the fish and I  both hooked up. In fact, the fish got himself a temp-girlfriend for awhile. Suspecting she had ulterior motives and paranoid she had spies in the area, he subsequently not only made us change hotels, but move nearly 10 km away in Koloum. Although I was slightly agitated by his inscrutable actions, it all worked out for me. It was here I hooked up with this breathtaking Malian girl on our last night. The new flag  aside, she was probably the most beautiful woman I was with on the trip. I almost stayed. Sigh… if only I  had one more night. (another popular song in West Africa)

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?