This shit is so good I might Password protect it from next week. You guys owe me!

My friend Cormac and I were drinking at the local pub last Saturday night.

In walk a gaggle of girls: nine of them, all looking sexy and dolled up for a night out. They were just popping in for a few cheeky drinks before they hit the club.

“Some of them are really cute, we should make a move,” I said.

“Send them over a few shots of water!” Cormac joked.

The man was a genius. I don’t think he knew how brilliant an idea it was.

“Fuck it, let’s do it!” I exclaimed.

I went up to the bar and arranged nine shots of water on a tray (in the shape a smiley face for good measure). The bar staff refused to deliver it. Apparently it was ‘disrespectful’ – whatever. I asked my bro’s girlfriend from Romania to do the deed. She refused, but when I told her it was only water she actually changed her mind and wanted in on the joke.

I gave her the tray.

“Tell them it’s from us,” I said.

She went over and delivered the girls the shots, pointing out us: their magnanimous admirers.

All the girls looked over at us, offering big grins and flirty waves. We raised our glasses and smiled back. “What nice fools!” they must have been thinking, feeling like little princesses.  They each picked up a shot, and arranged to do it all at once. Then all nine got in a circle and chanted down from 5.

“5…4…3….2….1… CHEERS!!!”

They downed the shots of  water.

Well, I tell you, I nearly pissed myself .  It couldn’t have gone better. The mixed looks of confusion and horror were too much. The girls turned around to find us in tears of laughter. We made them look like complete idiots, firmly putting them in their place. We had turned from the creepy nice guys to comedic assholes. In one second, we gained all the value.

Result: Attraction. They wanted our cocks. WE got approached. One of the sexiest of the lot came and starting chatting us up.

I’m going to using this gambit from now on. It’s just too good!

I’m simply calling it the Water Shots Gambit. 

Next time you see a group of gorgeous girls sitting around a table, getting attention from every dick in the building, don’t put their pussies on a pedestal, put ‘em in their place.

I can’t wait to try this out in a really classy place with models.

Try it out yourselves and see what happens. It’ll make you laugh, and with any skill, it’ll get you laid…

 

Love comes in many forms. It can last a lifetime, or just a couple of seconds. It can be with one woman for 50 years, or with several women replaced at regular intervals. Today I’m dealing with the latter.

For those of you who aren’t versed in the triangular theory of love, I would like to direct you to the following diagram.

Now, let’s apply this to game. If you want to read more about each of seven types of love you can read this. For the purposes of briefness this argument ignores chemical basis for love, and looks more at behaviorism.

Brass tax…

What do men like us primarily want – Sex (Passion). Therefore we’re dealing with infatuatous, fatuous, romantic and consummate love.

But what if you meet a nice chick you want to keep in your harem?

You need to know what most women want – Everything (Consummate love).

Most modern women will not settle for polygamy, promiscuity, or non-commitment in the long term.

So here’s the question: How do you make a beautiful woman fall in love with you, fuck you senseless, remain loyal to you and be content with a non-exclusive relationship.

Wouldn’t that be sweet? Ideal?

Here’s the game plan…

Think like Pavlov. Act like Zorro. 

One may be a psychologist, the other a masked hero, but together they create the ultimate Lothario.

On Pavlov

Get her to associate love with sex. You also need to fast-track love.  You have to be Pavlov.

Passion

Fuck her first. Don’t try and get close to her, don’t try win her over or promise to give her the moon. Fuck her first, and fuck her really good. This is crucial.

Intimacy

Use this as her reward for sex. After she spreads her legs, open your heart. You need to train her like a bitch, just like Pavlov’s theory: through cause and effect create positive association. Sex = closeness. Good dog.

Commitment

This is the tricky bit. Similar to intimacy, your commitment should only be hinted at after sex (several sexual encounters in fact). Some women just wanna fuck, but remember they are still genetically programmed to choose males who will provide for their offspring (ie- stick around). The trick is hit at long term commitment using the ‘us’ frame*. Talk about doing thing together in the future and use words like we. It will push the right buttons.

On Zorro

Love may blossom, but only in darkness.

If you want a woman to feel consummate love, but want to avoid monogamy, the secret is mystery. You have to be Zorro.

You have to be a man of mystery. Don’t tell what you do for a living. Don’t tell her where you’re going. Don’t talk about other women. Everything is a secret. Tell you have to go away for a month to Lebanon for ‘business’. Don’t see her for long periods of time. Simple economics = lower supply, increase demand. Tell her you lead a double life, one that she can never know about. Everything about you is a mystery.

Extreme? Yes. But it’s works. Women love that shit. As far as she’s concerned you’re either a mob boss or work for the C.I.A. She’ll fantasize about you – become addicted, obsessed even.  Fantasy is a powerful tool. The reality is much more sinister.  Technically you do have a double life: banging the other women who fall for the fantasy.

Alternatively, you can be completely honest about everything. Be Mr. Free Love. But Zorro lasts longer.

The Result

The elusive harem.

As any international playboy will tell you – it’s easy to maintain a global harem. You don’t have to a globetrotting mystery man, but that not to say you can’t offer that illusion.

Love to her your questions or comments guys….

Do you have your own harem?

This is End Game shit. 

So you’ve been around the world. You’ve had your fun:  been with dozens, maybe even hundreds of women, different colours, creeds and backgrounds. Maybe you’ve decided its time to pick a mate…

Do you know anything about her? What she looks like, her character or where she is?

If not, how do expect to find her?

Maybe you’ll just meet someone someday, fall in love and that’s that. You could ‘go with the flow’, ‘let it happen’, ‘ leave it to faith’.

Excuse my french  - but fuck that.  That’s just lazy.  ”I’ll take the best thing that falls in my lap,” is essentially the game plan. That’s using your potential mate…

Be alpha, be a chooser. Don’t you deserve the best?

Maybe your wussy ass doesn’t…

Those of you who travel know that a man has options – hell too many options! So, what’s a guy to do…

It’s not a bad idea to make a rough guideline of what you truly want in a mate…

An Example of the Perfect Woman…

She’s got the bright eyes of  a Swede, with the soulful depths of an Latina yet the lure of a Vietnamese hooker .

She’s got the waist of a Romanian, the legs of a Russian, the skin of of Spaniard, the ass of an African and tits like a Californian porn star.

She dresses like an Indian princess fused with a Persian belly dancer.

She’s got mystery of a Saudi, yet the sexual prowess of a Brazilian.

She has the grace of Bhutanese royal, but gives head like a Liberian slumdog.

She has the heart of Palestinian and the sense of humor of an Irish girl.

She’s feminine like a Thai, but confident like an Ivorian.

She speaks at least three languages, all in a French accent.

She can cook like a Chinese masterchef, roll like a Jamaican Rasta and clean like a Mexican maid.

She’ll as loyal as a Libyan housewife, but as understanding as the 9th wive of Maasai Mara herdsman.

She’s also a noble prize winner, has a pussy like a Burmese cat and never grows old.

Oh… and I forgot to mention she’s lives on Planet of the Nymphos, and unfortunately their dialing code uses quaraks as opposed to numbers so you may difficulty contacting her. Please dial again. The closest thing we have is this chick or  Kim Khardasian I’m afraid, and she can barely speak one language.

(sigh)

Back to Planet Earth.

My Ideal girl…

A slammin’ hot French-Arab atheist (or even just non-religious). If you know one let me know.

Why?

I find Arab woman very beautiful. I love French accents. I want my kids to have exotic features and speak three languages. I want a girl who has a conservative upbringing who hasn’t been passed around (preferably a virgin), but also understands Euro – liberalism and is educated enough to realize there is likely no afterlife, and we must live each day to the full. Furthermore, if she’s from Europe it’s a short hop from Dublin!

Sounds like a good plan eh?

I know, I think about this shit way too much. In reality, I’m equally likely to end up with an Ethiopian, or a Filipina, but it’s not a bad idea to have a rough road map.

Think about your values, your future and what you find attractive in woman…

Make your own guidelines.

Find out where she and go there, maybe there’s better options…

Or maybe you wanna be a player until you crock at 90, overdosing on coke and Viagra while banging two Thai hookers. By all means go ahead…

Don’t get me wrong, I love being single. I really do. But eventually I wouldn’t mind falling in love, having kids and sharing my life with someone. But that’s just me. So I might as well hunt down the best dam broad out there…

But don’t worry. I’m going to be the Naughty Nomad for a long, long time…

Please share your ideal woman…

Where is she from?