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Love for the Alpha: How to build a Harem

Love comes in many forms. It can last a lifetime, or just a couple of seconds. It can be with one woman for 50 years, or with several women replaced at regular intervals. Today I’m dealing with the latter.

For those of you who aren’t versed in the triangular theory of love, I would like to direct you to the following diagram.


Now, let’s apply this to game. If you want to read more about each of seven types of love you can read this. For the purposes of briefness this argument ignores chemical basis for love, and looks more at behaviorism.

Brass tax…

What do men like us primarily want – Sex (Passion). Therefore we’re dealing with infatuatous, fatuous, romantic and consummate love.

But what if you meet a nice chick you want to keep in your harem?

You need to know what most women want – Everything (Consummate love).

Most modern women will not settle for polygamy, promiscuity, or non-commitment in the long term.

So here’s the question: How do you make a beautiful woman fall in love with you, fuck you senseless, remain loyal to you and be content with a non-exclusive relationship.

Wouldn’t that be sweet? Ideal?

Here’s the game plan…

Think like Pavlov. Act like Zorro. 

One may be a psychologist, the other a masked hero, but together they create the ultimate Lothario.

On Pavlov

Get her to associate love with sex. You also need to fast-track love.  You have to be Pavlov.


Fuck her first. Don’t try and get close to her, don’t try win her over or promise to give her the moon. Fuck her first, and fuck her really good. This is crucial.


Use this as her reward for sex. After she spreads her legs, open your heart. You need to train her like a bitch, just like Pavlov’s theory: through cause and effect create positive association. Sex = closeness. Good dog.


This is the tricky bit. Similar to intimacy, your commitment should only be hinted at after sex (several sexual encounters in fact). Some women just wanna fuck, but remember they are still genetically programmed to choose males who will provide for their offspring (ie- stick around). The trick is hit at long term commitment using the ‘us’ frame*. Talk about doing thing together in the future and use words like we. It will push the right buttons.

On Zorro

Love may blossom, but only in darkness.

If you want a woman to feel consummate love, but want to avoid monogamy, the secret is mystery. You have to be Zorro.

You have to be a man of mystery. Don’t tell what you do for a living. Don’t tell her where you’re going. Don’t talk about other women. Everything is a secret. Tell you have to go away for a month to Lebanon for ‘business’. Don’t see her for long periods of time. Simple economics = lower supply, increase demand. Tell her you lead a double life, one that she can never know about. Everything about you is a mystery.

Extreme? Yes. But it’s works. Women love that shit. As far as she’s concerned you’re either a mob boss or work for the C.I.A. She’ll fantasize about you – become addicted, obsessed even.  Fantasy is a powerful tool. The reality is much more sinister.  Technically you do have a double life: banging the other women who fall for the fantasy.

Alternatively, you can be completely honest about everything. Be Mr. Free Love. But Zorro lasts longer.

The Result

The elusive harem.

As any international playboy will tell you – it’s easy to maintain a global harem. You don’t have to a globetrotting mystery man, but that not to say you can’t offer that illusion.

Love to her your questions or comments guys….

Do you have your own harem?

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21 Responses to Love for the Alpha: How to build a Harem

  1. Heartbeat October 5, 2011 at 12:28 pm #

    I think you may be confusing Maslow (Hierarchy of Needs as an explanation for motivation) and Pavlov (using conditioned responses for behaviour modification)

    As someone who does have to go away to scary places for the vaguest of reasons I can tell you that rather than the being seen as an International Man of Mystery it is more often construed as Zorro running back to Mrs Zorro. Could just be me (laughing)

    • Naughty Nomad October 5, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

      Thanks for the correction on Pavlov. I’m getting my pop psychology mixed up.

  2. Africascott October 5, 2011 at 4:05 pm #


    Actually you and heartbeat are both partially correct. Maslow’s hiearchy of needs as an explanation of motivation is illustrated by utilizing a pyramid—the triangle’s base representing the most basic of needs and the pinnicale representing the ultimate needs—in this case intimacy.

    However Pavolov’s theory of motivation is what your are describing Nomad—i.e. ring the bell and the dog salivates for the reward, food—or in Nomad terms fuck the girl good therebye establishing bone power and then later reward her with emotional intimacy—which is also the pinnicale of the triangle.

    “When the student is ready the teacher shall appear”.


  3. Jesse October 5, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

    Nice analysis. But you seem like pure player… is this something you’ve tried to apply yet?

    • Naughty Nomad October 5, 2011 at 5:58 pm #

      @Jesse: Of course! I have a nice little bunch back here in Ireland.

    • Derek May 9, 2014 at 9:01 am #

      Sorry to tell you this but, man, this “How do you make a beautiful woman fall in love with you, fuck you senseless, remain loyal to you and be content with a non-exclusive relationship.

      Wouldn’t that be sweet? Ideal?” sounded a bit impossible.

      Maybe you should stop trying to be a “macho” and start being more a man. I mean, let’s be realistic, what woman in hell is going to remain loyal to you when you’re not being loyal to her?

      You can call me gay if you want, but my answer to your question is: NO. My sweetheart is all I need or want, I don’t have an urge to fuck every woman alive.

      Man up, buddy, you can’t live life like that…soon or later you’ll find a woman who has a bunch of men behind her and she’ll cheat on you, just like you cheated on other women and you’ll understand what I’m saying, IF YOU WANT WOMEN TO BE FAITHFUL TO YOU, BE FAITHFUL TO THEM.


      • Naughty Nomad May 9, 2014 at 9:15 am #

        Monogamy is a sexual perversion. You’re a primate. You should read a few books (I’ve suggested a few), ‘man up’, and get in touch with natural sexuality.

        I’m in a relationship right now (with a beautiful woman) where I sleep with other women around and she stays ‘faithful’. I don’t cheat, I’m open and honest about it. That may be beyond your reality, but that’s because you were raised on Disney. Many women would rather share a man of value then be stuck with a weaker counterpart. “Man up,” you say? That’s ironic. No offence, but I don’t think you have the faintest idea what it really means to be a man.

        I suggest the following reading material:

        Sperm Wars
        The Red Queen
        Sex 3.0
        Sex at Dawn
        The selfish gene

        …or pretty much any decent book on evolutionary biology.

        • Matthew July 29, 2016 at 9:00 am #

          Hi Nomad,

          Can you explain the type of relationship you have/had that you were referring to? Was she living with you or no? Did you tell her she was your girlfriend? If so then how did she accept being a committed girlfriend to you if you weren’t committed to her? I’m really curious, hope you reply. Thanks.

  4. Crooner October 6, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

    Hey NN,

    How much time are you spending with these girls before you feel that you have them locked in?

    It makes sense to build up to seeing them more and more frequently until they fall for you, and then back off progressively so they start chasing. Is that right, little time->->more time->lots of time-> little time spaced randomly?


    • Naughty Nomad October 6, 2011 at 11:43 pm #

      I don’t really chase too much at the start. It can look needy. How fast a girl falls depends on the girl. Some fall fast, others take months..

  5. CaptNukka October 7, 2011 at 8:55 am #

    Hey, you should start a forum for this site. I know MANY people that are sick of roosh the douche and his gestapo mod tactics! Your blog would absolutely explode if you had a forum. They are free, just add the link to your page.

  6. Tom October 7, 2011 at 7:43 pm #

    I concur..Mr. Naughty Nomad should start a forum so us like minded individuals can share our experiences 😀

  7. Gmac October 19, 2011 at 1:04 am #

    I’m guilty of many, many Pavlov tendencies… thanks for the reminder on the other. I have this girl I was unsure how to reel in… now I know. Zorro lives!

  8. Lee November 28, 2011 at 1:33 pm #

    This move works, works even better when all the girls know about each and don’t care. For me, it was easier if I revolved around the timing of their needs than make them revolve around me. Hell, it kept my harem together for two years..this is some great advice

  9. sirtaki February 22, 2012 at 3:37 pm #

    Hi Nomad,

    I appreciate your advice, but in practice this is what our old men here in the Mediterranean world have preached since time immemorial: fuck her well and make yourself precious. It worked and it works still well. Of course you can either apply the method to one woman (your girlfriend or wife) or many (harem). However, what you suggest under Pavlov/commitment sounds pretty much like outright lying: I have always tried to avoid it and I suggest that everybody do the same, it is plain and simple unfair. There is plenty of chicks anyway.

  10. Barbarian July 2, 2012 at 11:17 am #

    When I was in my early late 20s I living together with my girlfriend (now wife) who is just a year younger than me. At the same time I was banging a 23 year old with nice perky tits, a seriously hot 35 year old housewife (who sleeps in a separate room from her husband) and a 42 year old divorcee. All three of them knows of my girlfriend but not each other (obviously). It only lasted for less than 2 months. Although it was fun but it takes away too much of my time and effort.

    I wished I had read this article early so that I can use the Zorro technique and I might still have my harem.

  11. Secret Naughty November 16, 2014 at 1:38 am #

    Naughty Nomad

    I am a women and I think a Harem is a fantastic idea I think it is best when everyone plays together. I Like my husbands harem and I love pleasing him. In my normal life no one would know I am nothing like my alter ego in every day life. But nothing turns me on more then when he is pleasing him self with several women including me how ever he wants. He treats us all very well and rewards us in amazing ways when we please him we just have to enjoy and participate. There are women like me you just have to really be a MAN, and you can find them. Its really all about fantasy.

    • kangaroolovely August 20, 2015 at 5:05 am #

      I couldn’t agree more. I’m a married woman who fantasizes every day about being part of a harem with my husband but he’s not into it. God I wish… And the belief that women are “genetically programmed” to want love and security is absolute shit. We are capable of loving just like men but we really just want to fuck, just like men.

  12. Matthew June 12, 2016 at 3:02 pm #

    Great article. Short but really explains your method perfectly.

    There is just one thing I need more clarification on.

    You say after you fuck her, open your heart. Can you explain in more detail what you mean by “open your heart”? To you, what does this mean?

  13. Quasimodo Was Here May 8, 2019 at 4:19 pm #

    Does this also work for ugly huchbacks with small weiners? I guess no.


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