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How to Get the Perfect Woman

This is End Game shit. 

So you’ve been around the world. You’ve had your fun:  been with dozens, maybe even hundreds of women, different colours, creeds and backgrounds. Maybe you’ve decided its time to pick a mate…

I wouldn't like to see her eat...

Do you know anything about her? What she looks like, her character or where she is?

If not, how do expect to find her?

Maybe you’ll just meet someone someday, fall in love and that’s that. You could ‘go with the flow’, ‘let it happen’, ‘ leave it to faith’.

Excuse my french  – but fuck that.  That’s just lazy.  “I’ll take the best thing that falls in my lap,” is essentially the game plan. That’s using your potential mate…

Be alpha, be a chooser. Don’t you deserve the best?

Maybe your wussy ass doesn’t…

Those of you who travel know that a man has options – hell too many options! So, what’s a guy to do…

It’s not a bad idea to make a rough guideline of what you truly want in a mate…

An Example of the Perfect Woman…

She’s got the bright eyes of  a Swede, with the soulful depths of an Latina yet the lure of a Vietnamese hooker .

She’s got the waist of a Romanian, the legs of a Russian, the skin of of Spaniard, the ass of an African and tits like a Californian porn star.


She dresses like an Indian princess fused with a Persian belly dancer.

She’s got mystery of a Saudi, yet the sexual prowess of a Brazilian.

She has the grace of Bhutanese royal, but gives head like a Liberian slumdog.

She has the heart of Palestinian and the sense of humor of an Irish girl.

She’s feminine like a Thai, but confident like an Ivorian.

She speaks at least three languages, all in a French accent.

She can cook like a Chinese masterchef, roll like a Jamaican Rasta and clean like a Mexican maid.

She’ll as loyal as a Libyan housewife, but as understanding as the 9th wive of Maasai Mara herdsman.

She’s also a noble prize winner, has a pussy like a Burmese cat and never grows old.

Oh… and I forgot to mention she’s lives on Planet of the Nymphos, and unfortunately their dialing code uses quaraks as opposed to numbers so you may difficulty contacting her. Please dial again. The closest thing we have is this chick or  Kim Khardasian I’m afraid, and she can barely speak one language.


Back to Planet Earth.

My Ideal girl…

A slammin’ hot French-Arab atheist (or even just non-religious). If you know one let me know.


my kinda chick...

I find Arab woman very beautiful. I love French accents. I want my kids to have exotic features and speak three languages. I want a girl who has a conservative upbringing who hasn’t been passed around (preferably a virgin), but also understands Euro – liberalism and is educated enough to realize there is likely no afterlife, and we must live each day to the full. Furthermore, if she’s from Europe it’s a short hop from Dublin!

Sounds like a good plan eh?

I know, I think about this shit way too much. In reality, I’m equally likely to end up with an Ethiopian, or a Filipina, but it’s not a bad idea to have a rough road map.

Think about your values, your future and what you find attractive in woman…

Make your own guidelines.

Find out where she and go there, maybe there’s better options…

Or maybe you wanna be a player until you crock at 90, overdosing on coke and Viagra while banging two Thai hookers. By all means go ahead…

Don’t get me wrong, I love being single. I really do. But eventually I wouldn’t mind falling in love, having kids and sharing my life with someone. But that’s just me. So I might as well hunt down the best dam broad out there…

But don’t worry. I’m going to be the Naughty Nomad for a long, long time…

Please share your ideal woman…

Where is she from?




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24 Responses to How to Get the Perfect Woman

  1. Adam September 13, 2011 at 2:41 pm #

    Any girl from Southeast Asia or Thailand to be specific! And that’s not a ladyboy of course. All my flags I have come from Asia. Hell I even have a Kazakhstan flag (VERY NICE!!) I don’t know what it is about Asia women but I love their tan features and their exotic culture.

  2. Jesse September 13, 2011 at 3:54 pm #

    Nomad, really clever/funny post. Have you ever met a girl before in all your travels you felt like settling down with?

    By the way, where’s the best place to meet Arab women without being stoned to death??

    • Naughty Nomad September 14, 2011 at 12:14 am #

      @Jesse: I havn’t felt it yet to be honest. The best place to meet Arab women is by far Lebanon.
      I will consider a forum in time..

  3. Jesse September 13, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    Nomad, you should start a forum area so people can ask you questions!

  4. Fred Tracy September 13, 2011 at 7:30 pm #

    hilarious but insightful post.

    If we don’t at least try to define what we want, we’ll definitely never get it. I know that much.

  5. Luis September 15, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

    I’d like the same girl as you, but blondie! Where could I find her? Turkey? Muslim areas in Russia?

    • Naughty Nomad September 15, 2011 at 3:22 pm #

      I would suggest Lebanon.

  6. dakine September 15, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    I would suggest… no one. Have three different. One Capeverdian to be your maid, do the laundry, cook and suck you while you are habing lunch
    Another Ethiopian to show, to fuck hard and to speak to.
    Finally an argentinian to remind you why it is better to have three instead of one mad like a psycho

  7. Adam September 20, 2011 at 6:23 am #

    Hi Nomad

    your question is an example of an “optimal stopping problem”, much discussed by economists and others in scientific areas that use probability theory.

    The paradigmatic example is the “secretrary problem” (

    An interesting comparison of various algorithms for getting the best mate to settle with (and/or avoiding getting stuck with a dog) is in a paper by Peter Todd (1997 –

    In summary, the thing to do is ‘sample’ a number from the pool of potential partners, assess them and rank them, and then (when you have decided it is time to think of putting down roots, or, to be more precise, ONE root), choose the next one that comes along who is better than the best encountered during the ‘sampling’ phase.

    • Naughty Nomad September 20, 2011 at 11:37 am #

      @Adam: I love it! haha

  8. roo September 21, 2011 at 4:41 am #

    tough question! i get turned on to the max by east asian girls (and sth east asian). theyre bodies get my juices flowing. but generally theyre a bit too passive.

    also like the scandinavian girls, but im yet to pick the fruit from that tree. blonde hair and blue eyes and a nice smile. and thyere so chill to hang out w. gotta say, i do like them the best personality wise….only downside is they tend to get a bit chunky as they get older.

    …maybe i need to find myself…a scandasian!

  9. roo September 22, 2011 at 1:55 pm #

    i have a question for you naughty. why is your dream girl preferably a virgin? i notice a few players have a preference for virginal or near virginal women when it comes to settling down. this confuses me. if youve been banging your way across the world, i would presume you would have a preference for ‘experienced’ girls. roosh has written in the past about not being satisfied by ‘good girls’ in the bedroom. might not this be a problem in the future?

    personally, as long as shes disease free, will be faithful to me and makes me happy, i dont have an issue with how many guys a girl has slept with. im a bit surprised its an issue for the nomad.

    • Naughty Nomad September 23, 2011 at 1:40 pm #

      @roo: I don’t know. Maybe because we’d both value the sex more. Plus she is unlikely to ever cheat.

  10. TigerSan September 24, 2011 at 10:37 am #

    Naughty, I totally agree about the Lebonese Women. they are stunning. Trying to get one though is another story. As their Brother, Father, Male Cousin, Male Cousins friends will stop at nothing to keep you away from them. i’m living in Sierra Leone where there are a few of them around.

  11. Maltese Dave September 24, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    Totally second that about the Lebanese. Personally my ideal girl would be an Italistani (Half Italian half Pakistani), the results of that mix are stunning. Either that or an Iranian or Eastern European or one whose got some of both, I haven’t given this subject has much thought as you have.

    By the way, as this is my first post here, what a fantastic and inspiring blog this is , you made it happen. Glad that you had fun in Malta. I hope you still have quite a lot of adventures planned. Hopefully I’ll soon be having some of my own.

  12. stoondude September 24, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    Another Great Article. Every man should read this page, traveller or not.

  13. alex October 28, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

    Russian and Ukrainian women are the Best!

  14. Situasian January 12, 2012 at 1:24 am #

    @roo because being who he is, an egotistical promiscuous alpha male, NN knows there are others out there like him and he’d rather not have sloppy seconds. As much as I love NN and this blog AND this post too, I have to disagree with his POV on this specific point as it is pure unadulterated backwards-thinking male chauvinism at it’s “finest”. IMHO if a man is allowed to have as much fun and experiment as much as he wishes, why shouldn’t a woman? I’m gonna be the definition of a dirty filthy promiscuous bachelor for a long long fucking time but when I find it’s time to settle down and manage to stumble upon my one and only whose beauty and personally both outshine the sun itself I could give a fuck and a half if she’s had non or a million cocks inside her :-]

  15. Situasian January 12, 2012 at 1:28 am #

    ps greaaaatt post btw bro, it is as fucking hilarious as it is true (well 95% of it anyway). U made me realize one important philosophical concept though: absolute perfection is absolutely subjective ;-]

  16. Mohammad February 21, 2012 at 3:08 pm #

    i thought u know how can i get weed,,but this website is like a newspaper man ,,its only articles

  17. Arb August 15, 2012 at 8:42 pm #


    The science says you are wrong (never-mind gut instinct):

    • bobib January 16, 2014 at 5:07 am #

      i agree 100% with u arb….

  18. malto November 13, 2012 at 11:06 pm #

    brazil is a good option ..10-15 million arabs live in southern brazil
    havin a mom thats been passed around doesnt feel right plus if ur gonna stick to one women that ull take care an maintain why not have a virgin…even some virgin girls want expericaned men…women have standards to pickin a husband…why not the man….
    cant turn a hoe into a housewife…women wont take a bady boy for a husband…..sluts an jerks are short term……good guys an virgins are loong term
    @naughty nomad sounds like ur ideal women could be in south america or eastern europe

  19. Armani April 25, 2014 at 8:21 pm #

    Hey, I found my perfect one in Baku; when I met you there I was single, but stay long enough you will find exactly what you described.

    Cheers bro

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