Having traveled this route through West Africa, I am lucky enough to have visited all eleven countries on the coast from Dakar to Lagos.

Using my Top 10 destinations in South East Asia as a template, I will using the following criteria.

These places/countries are judged on:

•   - Natural beauty / Historical wonders
• – Unique Experiences offered
•  - The Chill-out Factor (Off the beaten track, smoke etc.)
• – The Craic! (Irish term meaning fun or entertainment)
•  - The Girls  (the real X factor)

 

So here they are…

Naughty Nomad’s

TOP 10 Spots in West Africa!

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10. Cap Skirring, Senegal

In a word: Moo.

  I’ts got an alright beach with lazy cows.

 Meeting random cows on the road and the Beach. Enjoying fresh fish by the sea where you effectively rent the whole restaurant. The atmosphere is enhanced when the owners come out with the Djembe drums.

Many hotels have pools and you’re not far from the beach. Smoke is easily available, albeit overpriced considering the area is touristy by WA standards.

Night time options are limited but the two or three venues open late are really good fun.

 A decent gaggle of friendly girls around at night. Most speak French.

Bottom Line: The best that Senegal has to offer, but that’s ain’t saying much.

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9. Senegambia, The Gambia

In a word: Simple.

  I’ts got a pretty good beach and a laid back village feel.

 Checking out all the old grannies getting stuck in the young local guys… Hilarious.

Hammocks, beach, weed everywhere – not a bad spot for chilling.

Good Restaurants and wild nightlife (but only one or two options). Check out my Gambian Coast guide for info.

 Party most nights with a good few girls about at night. They come from all over the region and nearly all speak English.

Bottom Line: Better than Senegal, but local guys can be pretty bothersome.

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8. Labadi Beach, Ghana

In a word: Slick.

  Beach and babes, that’s enough.

 Smoke Sheesha and check out a beach concert.

There’s lots of people around but your still by the beach drinking, it’s hard not to relax.

Plenty of people having fun partying. After sundown it sedates but during this is probably the best spot for partying during the day in WA.

 Loads of sexy chicks from all parts of the world strutting around in bikinis. This is the best place in Ghana to pick up.

Bottom Line: Wicked hang-out. I’d score it higher if wasn’t surrounded by crappy Accra.

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7. Lake Aheme, Benin

In a word: Juju.

  Quiet lake with beautiful sandy shores.

 The eco-tours there are excellent. You will learn traditional fishing methods and you learn all about voodoo. If you’re really lucky (as we were), you get to witness a voodoo sacrafice.

A 5 star set up with no tourists. Smoke available. Grab a beer lakeside and enjoy. The lake is the perfect getaway from the capital Cotonou.

Not much going on, but at weekend’s there is a local disco.

 A lot women walk around topless, but are conservative in every other respect. Wasn’t there on the weekend but I’d imagine you’d try to be sold someone’s cousin. Not a place to pick up chicks.

Bottom Line: For me, West Africa’s ultimate chill out spot.

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6. Togo (in general)

In a word: Pleasent.

  Between Lome’s pristine sands and butterfly walks in Kpalimé’s beautiful forests, Togo ranks high for natural beauty.

 Learn about coffee & coca plantations on a guided tour exploring the area around beautiful Kpalimé. The guides are great too.

Lomé is West Africa’s most chilled capital. Kpalimé got some nice waterfalls if you willing to trek to see them.

Lome has a laid back vibe but it hosts West’s Africa’s biggest nightclub! Check out the Lomé city guide to get a better feel for the nightlife.

 A few nationalities about. Not the easiest place to pick up but still very doable. VIP Privé club has some fine women.

Bottom Line: A breath of fresh air on the road from Accra to Lagos.

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5. Monrovia, Liberia

In a word: Threesome?

  Not great as beach isn’t up to much and apparently quite dangerous.

 Having girls call to your door late at night for threesomes. Before they rob you that is…

City isn’t so hectic. Roof toop bars are the best places for unwinding.

Liberia by night is truly an adventure. Check out my Monrovia City Guide for more info.

 Girls in Liberia love to f**k. I never had to refuse so much sex in my life as I did here. The only problem is knowing who to trust. But dam, Liberian girls are a little addictive. Hence the high ranking.

Bottom Line: West Africa’s most off the beaten track country is well worth it.
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4. Lagos, Nigeria

In a word: Chaos.

  Nada. Although Victoria Island has some nice parts.

 Some the world’s worst traffic and daily dealings with bribery and corruption.

There’s weed around, but not much places to chill.

The craic in Lagos in unrivaled. The place is exhilarating. Probably the wildest nightlife in West Africa. Plenty of options with cheap beer and live music.

 Arguably the best looking (and friendliest) girls in Africa. You’ll understand if you read my Lagos City Guide.

Bottom Line: You haven’t been to Africa if you haven’t been to Lagos.

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3. Cote d’Ivoire (in general)

In a word: Magnifique!

  Great jungles near Liberia and lagoon views in the streets of Abidjan.

 Having the world’s biggest church all to yourself (I’m not religious but wow!). Enjoying the Marquai bars.

The capital is really laid back and it’s not hard to get your hand on weed from the Marquai bars.

Nightlife in Abidjan is mega. Biking from the Liberian border is also an epic jungle trail.

 The sexiest girls I’ve experienced in Francophone West Africa. Often friendly and well educated too.

Bottom Line: For many who visit the region, this is their favorite country in West Africa.

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2. Guinea (in general)

In a word: Unexpected.

  With many of the region main rivers originating in the Fouta Djallon, this place is filled with mountains and waterfalls. For me, the most beautiful country in the region. Beaches in the capital.

 The Journey from hell. Ultimate jungle treks. Having to put on hoody because the chill in the mountain air (a welcome temperature change).

Taking a swim over a waterfall. Weed is abundant. Very chilled. Even in the capital you can find quiet moments by the beach.

Conakry has a pretty decent nightlife and displays great variety. The beach parties are a blast too.

 The Fula girls are gorgeous. English isn’t that prevalent but with a little French you can bag yourself a hottie.

Bottom Line: Reminded me of Ethiopia… my favourite country in West Africa.

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1. Freetown Peninsula, Sierra Leone

In a word: Heaven?

  Jungle mountains by the sea. Fantastic beaches.

 Being able to smoke joints in nightclubs.

Beach bars with hookahs? Aberdeen is the ultimate chill out spot. Everyone smokes and it’s not problem in some restaurants even. You can even buy joints in clubs.

Wild nights, every night. Options are limited, but the venues are Grade A. Beers are cheap too. Freetownians really know how to have a good time. Check out my Freetown city guide for more info.

 It’s very easy to pick up in Freetown 5/5. Only Monrovia is easier. You can find some real gems here as well. There’s also Lebanese and other expats for the taking.

Bottom Line: Beautiful scenery,  loose women, weed and cheap beer in clubs = awesome. Easily the best location in West Africa!

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Honourable Mentions

I decided to only include places I’ve actually been in the top 10. As such, the list above only covers countries on the coast from Dakar to Lagos. I contacted some fellow globe-trotters to give their top 10 on the route as well. Here are some other picks from fellow travellers…

• Robertsport, Liberia
• Goree Island, Senegal (I’ve been here. Good escape from Dakar but very small.)
• Ganvie, Benin
• Kokobrite, Ghana (Been here. It could have made the list if I had went on the weekend)
• Sine-Saloum Delta, Senegal
• Bissagos Islands, Guinea Bissau (nice place, but get out of Bubaque and explore further)

Check out my my West African City Guides!

Please share your favourite places! Leave a comment below!

 

Lomé in a word: Pleasent.

Chance of Hooking up: 3.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Nightlife: 2.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €1 for a pint
Bed: €12 for a private room (stay here).
Bud: €2 for a small bag.
Board: €8 for a steak.
Budget other: More expensive clubs cost $10 in. Beers cost $6. You may want to chill at the pool at the ibis hotel. In cost 3,000CFA ($6) for the day.

Currency Conversion

Overview

Lomé has all the potential in the world given it’s incredible beaches. I imagine if this was a Anglophone country FDI would be flooding in. But life here totters along at snail-pace. It has a village vibe. Poverty is quite visible, as you will quickly discover trying to navigate its back streets, and nightlife is probably the most limited in the region (but not bad). That said, Togo is superior to it’s neighbors Ghana and Benin. The locals are friendlier and it’s infinitely less hectic. Take a side trip to Kpalimé.

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

Togolese sounds Afrotastic, but in general, don’t expect a particular high standard of local girls in Lomé. With a GDP per capita of just over  $400, the good looking ones generally emigrate to richer Francophone countries where they can make better money. Like Ghana, Togo is used to tourists so don’t over-rely on your exotic capital. As you’d expect, where you find tourists and expatriates, you also find foreign sex workers and ladies looking for rich husbands. As a result, the most beautiful girls in Lomé are usually Ivorian or Cameroonian. Some of them are jaw-droppers.

If you would like to meet a Togolese girl, you should know the prominent tribe here is Ewe. Learning a few words will sweep them of their feet. You can find good girls at any marqui bar, while the young upper class Togolese head to the Byblos club. As you may expect, French will get you further, but English is pretty widely spoken also. For Pipelining, you can contact some chicks on the Privilege nightclub Facebook group here. Night time is also great for meeting locals.

If you’re looking for white chicks, La Galien’s hotel bar attracts the horny volunteers on vacation from Ghana. There are also a few Lebanese girls in town, but they are few and far between.

Nightlife Recommendations

You could almost conquer the entirety of Lomé’s nightlife is a single night. Outside of weekends, Privilege is the only place with a pulse. La Galien is great on Fridays (food is awesome too).

The Café Panini Area 

This area is the only real concentration of nightspots – and it’s tiny. You will inevitably find yourself at Café Panini – the “glorious sleazy epic center of Lomés nightlife” as described by lonely planet. It’s an outdoor seating area and the girls aren’t great, but the drink is cheap and it’s got a good vibe. Byblos is adjacent – the city’s most exclusive club. It very much a local hang out, but it’s crap and entrance is  5,000 CFA ($10), and it’s also the same price for a single beer! Avoid. My favorite spot was Terrasse. It’s a little more up market, attracting middle class local girls and a few Lebanese.

Le Domino

It’s small, only good on the weekend and attracts a few pretty prostitutes. It’s basically a pick up joint for old French guys but it’s easy to shore if you’re lazy. The crowd is pretty friendly and it’s not a bad place to get a quick pint in before you hit the next place.

Le Privilege 

This is the place to be – West Africa’s biggest nightclub. I’d almost recommend you don’t bother going anywhere else the whole night. Most of the girls from the Café Panini area, Dominos and other places end up here anyway. With 3 floors, two clubs and several bars, it attracts a crowd every night. Apart from the main discotheque, I’d recommend scrubbing up and checking out Le Privé VIP section. You’ll notice the crowd gets whiter and drink prices double, but the quality of women skyrocket. This is where you will find the best looking women in the whole of Togo. Official website here.

Another good blog describing Lomé nightlife here.

Getting High

Where to buy marijuana: We got sorted easily enough in Kpalimé. Ask your tour guide (best) or the guys at the hotel. In Lomé, ask the guys working at the breakfast shacks selling coffee and omelets. Moto drivers may offer to help you out but just sum them up first. Alternatively, trying talking to male waitors at marquai bars.

Prague Marijuana Prices: 2000 CFA (€3) will get you a respectable handful.

My Lomé Experience

We found the city quite agreeable (especially after Ghana) and as a result the Siege of Lomé took longer than planned. My first night in the Le Privé VIP, I got picked up by a hot well-to-do Ivorian refugee “with an ass dat would swallow up a g-string”  to quote that prick. Gary the fish ended up with her mate – a slammin’ hottie he managed to steal off the French Ambassador! Sac le bleu! That cheeky fish…what a legend/asshole. She was also a refugee from Cote d’War. We end up hanging out with them for a few days. Lomé inpired a controversial post on Refugee game.

We also took a rather eventful side trip exploring the beautiful countryside near Kpalimé. If you meet a nice girl in Lomé this is a great place to escape the city with her. Regardless, I’d recommended it for a few days.

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Looking for a good time?

Don’t want to put in a lot of effort?

Why not try some Refugees!

Isolated, homeless and feeling venerable - picking up refugees is as easy as shooting Tutsis in the 90′s! Not only are they easy, just think of the other benefits…

• They’re husbands may be have been imprisoned, or better yet – dead!
• They’re just plain desperate. They don’t even have a place to call home. lol!
• They’re nice and slim from hunger, and easily enticed to perform deplorable acts in exchange for food.

Refugee camps are ideal places to meet women. The girls there may have basic provisions like rice, but where is the sugar? Shouldn’t you, the magnanimous swagabond, donate some penis?

C’mon, don’t be an asshole. All the other guys go for the girls with materialistic possessions, like walls and access to clean water. You know what type of girls I’m talking about – the ones who walk around hydrated, with their fancy $1 sandals and sacks of US aid rice – fucking show offs. Who needs a girl like that? Refugees live life for the moment. Refugees never say no. And even if they do.. who cares? Often rape is often the only way they get any action anyway.

Ok, so the joy you give these crushed souls will be only temporary… but so is her UNICEF tent! She’s used to it! Plus, once you leave, she’ll no doubt feel used, abandoned and worthless. Harsh lessons, but these feelings will prepare her for the ensuing life of poverty and deprivation she will have to embrace in the years to come. So go on, be a hero… get your refugee game on.

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Location: Lome, Togo.

But satire aside, Gary the fish and I did manage to get picked up by some Ivorian refugees. They were actually quite well off. My girl treated me to bottle service in a high end Togolese nightclub, whereas Gary managed to steal his girl from the French ambassador! Good times.

The truth is, often it’s actually easier to pick up girls outside their country of origin. This is epically true when the country in question is sexually repressive.  In my next post Refugee game (part 2), I will be investigating these populations for your benefit… stay tuned.