Having traveled this route through West Africa, I am lucky enough to have visited all eleven countries on the coast from Dakar to Lagos.

Using my Top 10 destinations in South East Asia as a template, I will using the following criteria.

These places/countries are judged on:

•   - Natural beauty / Historical wonders
• – Unique Experiences offered
•  - The Chill-out Factor (Off the beaten track, smoke etc.)
• – The Craic! (Irish term meaning fun or entertainment)
•  - The Girls  (the real X factor)

 

So here they are…

Naughty Nomad’s

TOP 10 Spots in West Africa!

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10. Cap Skirring, Senegal

In a word: Moo.

  I’ts got an alright beach with lazy cows.

 Meeting random cows on the road and the Beach. Enjoying fresh fish by the sea where you effectively rent the whole restaurant. The atmosphere is enhanced when the owners come out with the Djembe drums.

Many hotels have pools and you’re not far from the beach. Smoke is easily available, albeit overpriced considering the area is touristy by WA standards.

Night time options are limited but the two or three venues open late are really good fun.

 A decent gaggle of friendly girls around at night. Most speak French.

Bottom Line: The best that Senegal has to offer, but that’s ain’t saying much.

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9. Senegambia, The Gambia

In a word: Simple.

  I’ts got a pretty good beach and a laid back village feel.

 Checking out all the old grannies getting stuck in the young local guys… Hilarious.

Hammocks, beach, weed everywhere – not a bad spot for chilling.

Good Restaurants and wild nightlife (but only one or two options). Check out my Gambian Coast guide for info.

 Party most nights with a good few girls about at night. They come from all over the region and nearly all speak English.

Bottom Line: Better than Senegal, but local guys can be pretty bothersome.

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8. Labadi Beach, Ghana

In a word: Slick.

  Beach and babes, that’s enough.

 Smoke Sheesha and check out a beach concert.

There’s lots of people around but your still by the beach drinking, it’s hard not to relax.

Plenty of people having fun partying. After sundown it sedates but during this is probably the best spot for partying during the day in WA.

 Loads of sexy chicks from all parts of the world strutting around in bikinis. This is the best place in Ghana to pick up.

Bottom Line: Wicked hang-out. I’d score it higher if wasn’t surrounded by crappy Accra.

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7. Lake Aheme, Benin

In a word: Juju.

  Quiet lake with beautiful sandy shores.

 The eco-tours there are excellent. You will learn traditional fishing methods and you learn all about voodoo. If you’re really lucky (as we were), you get to witness a voodoo sacrafice.

A 5 star set up with no tourists. Smoke available. Grab a beer lakeside and enjoy. The lake is the perfect getaway from the capital Cotonou.

Not much going on, but at weekend’s there is a local disco.

 A lot women walk around topless, but are conservative in every other respect. Wasn’t there on the weekend but I’d imagine you’d try to be sold someone’s cousin. Not a place to pick up chicks.

Bottom Line: For me, West Africa’s ultimate chill out spot.

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6. Togo (in general)

In a word: Pleasent.

  Between Lome’s pristine sands and butterfly walks in Kpalimé’s beautiful forests, Togo ranks high for natural beauty.

 Learn about coffee & coca plantations on a guided tour exploring the area around beautiful Kpalimé. The guides are great too.

Lomé is West Africa’s most chilled capital. Kpalimé got some nice waterfalls if you willing to trek to see them.

Lome has a laid back vibe but it hosts West’s Africa’s biggest nightclub! Check out the Lomé city guide to get a better feel for the nightlife.

 A few nationalities about. Not the easiest place to pick up but still very doable. VIP Privé club has some fine women.

Bottom Line: A breath of fresh air on the road from Accra to Lagos.

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5. Monrovia, Liberia

In a word: Threesome?

  Not great as beach isn’t up to much and apparently quite dangerous.

 Having girls call to your door late at night for threesomes. Before they rob you that is…

City isn’t so hectic. Roof toop bars are the best places for unwinding.

Liberia by night is truly an adventure. Check out my Monrovia City Guide for more info.

 Girls in Liberia love to f**k. I never had to refuse so much sex in my life as I did here. The only problem is knowing who to trust. But dam, Liberian girls are a little addictive. Hence the high ranking.

Bottom Line: West Africa’s most off the beaten track country is well worth it.
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4. Lagos, Nigeria

In a word: Chaos.

  Nada. Although Victoria Island has some nice parts.

 Some the world’s worst traffic and daily dealings with bribery and corruption.

There’s weed around, but not much places to chill.

The craic in Lagos in unrivaled. The place is exhilarating. Probably the wildest nightlife in West Africa. Plenty of options with cheap beer and live music.

 Arguably the best looking (and friendliest) girls in Africa. You’ll understand if you read my Lagos City Guide.

Bottom Line: You haven’t been to Africa if you haven’t been to Lagos.

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3. Cote d’Ivoire (in general)

In a word: Magnifique!

  Great jungles near Liberia and lagoon views in the streets of Abidjan.

 Having the world’s biggest church all to yourself (I’m not religious but wow!). Enjoying the Marquai bars.

The capital is really laid back and it’s not hard to get your hand on weed from the Marquai bars.

Nightlife in Abidjan is mega. Biking from the Liberian border is also an epic jungle trail.

 The sexiest girls I’ve experienced in Francophone West Africa. Often friendly and well educated too.

Bottom Line: For many who visit the region, this is their favorite country in West Africa.

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2. Guinea (in general)

In a word: Unexpected.

  With many of the region main rivers originating in the Fouta Djallon, this place is filled with mountains and waterfalls. For me, the most beautiful country in the region. Beaches in the capital.

 The Journey from hell. Ultimate jungle treks. Having to put on hoody because the chill in the mountain air (a welcome temperature change).

Taking a swim over a waterfall. Weed is abundant. Very chilled. Even in the capital you can find quiet moments by the beach.

Conakry has a pretty decent nightlife and displays great variety. The beach parties are a blast too.

 The Fula girls are gorgeous. English isn’t that prevalent but with a little French you can bag yourself a hottie.

Bottom Line: Reminded me of Ethiopia… my favourite country in West Africa.

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1. Freetown Peninsula, Sierra Leone

In a word: Heaven?

  Jungle mountains by the sea. Fantastic beaches.

 Being able to smoke joints in nightclubs.

Beach bars with hookahs? Aberdeen is the ultimate chill out spot. Everyone smokes and it’s not problem in some restaurants even. You can even buy joints in clubs.

Wild nights, every night. Options are limited, but the venues are Grade A. Beers are cheap too. Freetownians really know how to have a good time. Check out my Freetown city guide for more info.

 It’s very easy to pick up in Freetown 5/5. Only Monrovia is easier. You can find some real gems here as well. There’s also Lebanese and other expats for the taking.

Bottom Line: Beautiful scenery,  loose women, weed and cheap beer in clubs = awesome. Easily the best location in West Africa!

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Honourable Mentions

I decided to only include places I’ve actually been in the top 10. As such, the list above only covers countries on the coast from Dakar to Lagos. I contacted some fellow globe-trotters to give their top 10 on the route as well. Here are some other picks from fellow travellers…

• Robertsport, Liberia
• Goree Island, Senegal (I’ve been here. Good escape from Dakar but very small.)
• Ganvie, Benin
• Kokobrite, Ghana (Been here. It could have made the list if I had went on the weekend)
• Sine-Saloum Delta, Senegal
• Bissagos Islands, Guinea Bissau (nice place, but get out of Bubaque and explore further)

Check out my my West African City Guides!

Please share your favourite places! Leave a comment below!

 

Cotonou in a word: Unlovable.

Chance of Hooking up: 4 / 5
Quality of Girls: 2.5 / 5
Nightlife: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: $1 for a bottle of local beer. $6 in the clubs.
Bed: €20 for a private room.
Bud: €1.50 for a small bag.
Board: €3 for a half a chicken with chips.
Budget other: You will pay $10 into clubs, but that includes a drink. Some fancy places it’ll cost $10 for a coke too! Budget for a side trip to Lake Ahemé (Voodoo country).

Currency Conversion

Overview

Cotonou isn’t a place you’d want to hang out in for long. It’s got a bit more of a pulse than Lome, Togo; but the people aren’t as nice and the city is much more frantic. You can fun here, but it’s low on the list compared to other West African cities. Make sure you go to Lake Ahemé for the real Beninese experience.

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

Like the sound of having freaky sex with a Voodoo chick? Will then this is the place to be. Benin is the home of Voodoo and if you work your juju you can make it happen. It’s a Francophone country but many locals have English. If you want to score in the city it’s all about the nightlife.

Beninese girls are used to tourists and aren’t the most liberal so one night stands aren’t that common. If you meet a local it’s best to exchange number and make a date the next day. If you’re looking for a real high quality local (better looking and more aloof) you will likely have to try and nab them off the older French guys. Check out Crystal palace, just slip the chicks your number on the sly. There are also a few beautiful husband hunters about. But most of time at night, local girls will probably not be on your radar. Why? There are usually much better options.

There are tons of nice foreigners in town. Sexy migrants from other West African countries (including some fine Liberians and Ghanaians). Then there is a very visible population of tasty Lebanese chicks, as well as hundreds of young American and European volunteers (mainly French and Scandinavian) . These girls may entice you if you don’t want to shore. They’re are a few upper class African girls around, as you will read in my nightlife recommendations below.

Nightlife Recommendations

The weekends in Cotonou are really good with lots of options. Haie Vive is the classy part  of town. Here’s where you will find the best women, but it’s dead mid week.  The next area is slightly seedier Jonquet, which hosts one or two decent spots. During the week, New York is reliable and always fun.

Cocos 

On the weekend, this is one of the best little bars in West Africa. Located in Haie Vive, it attracts mainly young volunteers, Lebanese and the occasional Asian and upper class Afro girl looking for young white cock. It’s tiny, but the atmosphere is fantastic. As mentioned, it’s only good on weekends when it’s got live music and a crowd. This is the best place to warm up before either of the following…

C17

The ‘in’ disco at the moment. Expect a decent mix: the crowd from Coco’s, expats and ladies of the night. Hit the dance floor and have fun. Not a bad compromise if you can’t handle the heat at…

New York, New York

You haven’t been to Cotonou until you’ve been here. Here you will find some of the friendliest girls in West Africa. It’s a shoring spot, but it’s busy every night and really good fun; plus there are some genuine girls around. Here you will meet chicks from all over the region and some of them are sexy as hell! It’s hard not to leave with a smile on your face.

Getting High

Where to buy marijuana: Lake Ahemé is the best place to get sorted. Ask your hotel owner, that’s how we got sorted. In Cotonou it’s more difficult to obtain. No info available.

Marijuana Prices: 1000 CFA (€1.50) will get you a respectable handful. Expect to pay more in the capital.

My Cotonou Experience

I wasn’t a big fan of the city, but the nightlife was a bit of craic. The Siege of Cotonou was a good one. I end up picking up my Ghana flag (40th flag). To quote Gary the fish, my girl was “the hottest girl he’d seen in the country”. She was a cutie alright. I also had a streak of back luck here. Check out my post: Voodoo Dolls & Bad Juju. It documents a rather  irksome experience.

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Location: Benin (Voodoo heartland).

The chicken gave a final jolt as his neck was cranked back and his throat slit with the razor blade. His blood poured into the mouth of the Vodun divinity,  a dark spirit imprisoned in stone. The feathers were plucked and cast upon on the sacred ground below, while the men of the forest whispered words unknown. To complete the ritual, the worshipers doused the shrine in a fiery brew - delicious West African hot sauce!

We were very lucky to bear witness to such a ceremony. To the very few travelers who do find themselves on the shores of Lake Aheme, the Voodoo practices of the locals remain shrouded in mystery.

They say one should make a sacrifice to the divinity if one has received good fortune, to give thanks. Those who don’t, are cursed.

This makes an appropriate preface to what happened me last night. I rolled the dice once to often, I took too much. Perhaps my Karmic balance was a little off kelter; I got some bad juju. Either way, I took too many chances, and eventually my cheeky antics landed me in some seriously deep shit. Literally…

Last night in the capital, Cotonou…

4AM – KNOCK KNOCK!

I awake from my slumber. The hottie beside me wraps her naked bronze body in a towel and gets up to answer the door. It’s her room mate – and she’s not happy. Outside the two start talking. It’s hard to make out the pidgin French, but I hear money mentioned. I start putting on my clothes, sensing something fishy.

My girls comes into the bathroom. “Give me some money.”. She demands.

Context- I exchanged numbers with this girl outside a club one night. This girl had been texting me love messages for three days. She knew I didn’t P4P. We went out, shared a bottle of wine and ended up at her place. I only had taxi fare in my pocket.

It was a set up.

I brought the girl outside the front door to discuss the issue. She told me her room mate wanted money for the room. She fed me so much BS my head was spinning. When I told her NO … I was informed her room mate and the guys in the building were going to “make problem” for me now. I thought fast.

Me: “OK, I don’t want problem”.

I completely change the subject, start patting down my trousers and look alarmed.

Me: “Hey, where’s my bandanna?”

Her: “It must be in the room..” (it was actually in my back pocket.)

Me: “Do you mind getting it for me?”

She turns and enters the room.

I tip top backward, turn around and F*#KING LEG IT!!!

My ill-fated escape is best described in poetry form…

Bad Juju
I turn at the chance, and I run, run run…
I dash and I dart through the labyrinth slum.
The Voodoo dolls screeched and the moto men grunted,
The chase had begun and I was the hunted.
In the darkness I flea, I scramble in vain,
I round random corners, I take random lanes.
I climb a dirt mound, then soon disappear..
as I fall from the edge, and plunge to Lake Merde.

(aka – a third world sewege pit)

SPLASH!

Deep in the sludge, grizzle and grit,
every last inch of me covered in shit.
I wade in the waste and flounder in feces,
seething with insects and sickening species.
I slunk on the shore, but time I had none,
So I take to the streets and I run, run, run…