Location: Benin (Voodoo heartland).
The chicken gave a final jolt as his neck was cranked back and his throat slit with the razor blade. His blood poured into the mouth of the Vodun divinity, a dark spirit imprisoned in stone. The feathers were plucked and cast upon on the sacred ground below, while the men of the forest whispered words unknown. To complete the ritual, the worshipers doused the shrine in a fiery brew – delicious West African hot sauce!
We were very lucky to bear witness to such a ceremony. To the very few travelers who do find themselves on the shores of Lake Aheme, the Voodoo practices of the locals remain shrouded in mystery.
They say one should make a sacrifice to the divinity if one has received good fortune, to give thanks. Those who don’t, are cursed.
This makes an appropriate preface to what happened me last night. I rolled the dice once to often, I took too much. Perhaps my Karmic balance was a little off kelter; I got some bad juju. Either way, I took too many chances, and eventually my cheeky antics landed me in some seriously deep shit. Literally…
Last night in the capital, Cotonou…
4AM – KNOCK KNOCK!
I awake from my slumber. The hottie beside me wraps her naked bronze body in a towel and gets up to answer the door. It’s her room mate – and she’s not happy. Outside the two start talking. It’s hard to make out the pidgin French, but I hear money mentioned. I start putting on my clothes, sensing something fishy.
My girls comes into the bathroom. “Give me some money.”. She demands.
Context- I exchanged numbers with this girl outside a club one night. This girl had been texting me love messages for three days. She knew I didn’t P4P. We went out, shared a bottle of wine and ended up at her place. I only had taxi fare in my pocket.
It was a set up.
I brought the girl outside the front door to discuss the issue. She told me her room mate wanted money for the room. She fed me so much BS my head was spinning. When I told her NO … I was informed her room mate and the guys in the building were going to “make problem” for me now. I thought fast.
Me: “OK, I don’t want problem”.
I completely change the subject, start patting down my trousers and look alarmed.
Me: “Hey, where’s my bandanna?”
Her: “It must be in the room..” (it was actually in my back pocket.)
Me: “Do you mind getting it for me?”
She turns and enters the room.
I tip top backward, turn around and F*#KING LEG IT!!!
My ill-fated escape is best described in poetry form…
I turn at the chance, and I run, run run…
I dash and I dart through the labyrinth slum.
The Voodoo dolls screeched and the moto men grunted,
The chase had begun and I was the hunted.
In the darkness I flea, I scramble in vain,
I round random corners, I take random lanes.
I climb a dirt mound, then soon disappear..
as I fall from the edge, and plunge to Lake Merde.
(aka – a third world sewege pit)
Deep in the sludge, grizzle and grit,
every last inch of me covered in shit.
I wade in the waste and flounder in feces,
seething with insects and sickening species.
I slunk on the shore, but time I had none,
So I take to the streets and I run, run, run…