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The Shazam Wing Gambit

Following on from my last post, I thought I’d offer you guys a cool little gambit for wingman game.

A good wing is hard to find.

In fact, when it comes to cockblocking, your ‘non-game’ friends are often the worst offenders. Even when it comes to myself and my crew, sometimes we get drunk, horny and competitive. Invariably, this leads to poor wingmanship. However, more often than not, we do out best to help each other out.

We give each other accomplishment introductions and big each other up. Example:

“Ladies, this is Jay. He’s travelled the world and make movies.” *COUGH* “…and he’s a stallion in the sack.” *COUGH*

That kinda spiel.

My boys are also great at running interference on friends, groups and other orbiters. Even when I’m trying to pull some guy’s girlfriend, my mates will distract the boyfriend so I can work her.

 

Anyway, this is all standard stuff. What I wanted to tell you about was a wee wingman move my fellow crew-member Barnacle B does when we’re on tour…

The Shazam Wing Technique

Let’s say you’re chatting up a girl in a busy bar. You’ve been talking to her for a few minutes and you’ve already isolated her.  You feel a good vibe going on. However, you’re both nearly finished your drinks. What do you do next?

Option #1: You get yourself a drink and leave her dry. But now you’ve just dampened the vibe and risk looking cheap. I don’t care how ‘alpha’ this move may seem where you’re from. If try this in certain parts of the world, you may lower your chances.  Plus, she getting soberer while you’re getting drunker which sucks balls.

Option #2: You get drinks for both of you. But now you may look a like needy bitch. This is often a better option in developing countries where the chicks are broke, but try this move in the West and you’ll usually lower your value.

Option #3: You just wait. You’re too scabby, fucked, lazy or uninterested to go to the bar. But now you’re both getting sober. Plus, what if she goes to the bar instead? This opens the door for the problems mentioned in #1 and #4.

Option #4: You go to the bar for a drink, but when you return, her girlfriend/ guyfriend/another player is buzzing around her like a fly on shit, cockblocking you and wrecking your buzz in the process.

Now, logic says the solution is just to stand by the bar, but that’s not always an option.

So what’s a guy to do?

Answer: Hopefully nothing.

This is where your wing comes in. When my mate Barnacle B sees me chatting up a girl  and we’re coming to the end of our glasses, he’ll take note of what we’re drinking. (If he can’t tell what she’s drinking, sometimes he’ll discreetly ask her friend.)

He then goes up to bar, buys us a round, casually walks over and hands us the drinks, gives me a respectful pat on on the arm and then casually exits the scene.

Sometimes he might add something like, “This guy is a legend,” or “A friend of Mark is a friend of mine.”

The key thing is: whatever he does, he does it in a manner that acknowledges me as the alpha male, assuming the role of a kind beta just glad to serve his master and his latest fancy.

Hell yeah.

Now that’s a wingman. A real player roots for the guys in his crew.

My girl and I are both getting drunker, I look like the shit, and the magic of the interaction continues. Booze appears like pixie dust as I cast my spell upon her—and she gets ever closer to my wand alakazaming all over her boobies.

So next time you see your friend in a similar scenario, help a brother out and perform the Shazam Wing Gambit.

Alternatively, if you and your mates are on a budget, you ‘Shazam’ as a codeword. When your say ‘Shazam’ to your wing, he does the move and gets you the drinks, but you pay him later on. The girl is none the wiser.

Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. It’s winning move that gets results.

Shazam!

 

2 Responses to The Shazam Wing Gambit

  1. Eric Disco September 14, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    Love it. It seems like the hardest part here would be figuring out what she’s drinking. I suppose you can casually ask the girl what she’s drinking in conversation and let your wing know somehow.

    Eric

  2. Tom September 18, 2012 at 12:37 am #

    As a gay guy who stumbled across your blog and finds it weirdly addictive. You should consider hanging out in a gay bar with a gay mate. Although it might seem like the worst place to meet a girl, it’s actually full of straight girls not expecting to meet a straight guy and none will have a boyfriend. They’re usually drunk and girls love straight guys comfortable enough to go to a gay bar. Alternatively they (we) make good wingmen in straight bars as well. No competition, and again, girls love gay guys…and prefer their straight mates. Might make an interesting experiment…

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