Top Bar

How to Assemble a Crew

“The Way of Men is the Way of the Gang,” as Jack Donovan put it in his latest book, arguing that gangsterism is the milk of unfettered masculinity. One of the books main tenets is that men are most comfortable when they are members of a small band of men. It’s true, too. No man is an island. Nor is he an emotionless node whose sole purpose is to serve humanity. He is a social primate who prefers the company of small groups of friends.

What’s the difference between a gang and a crew?

Nada, but for the purposes of this post, a crew refers to an itinerant gang: a bunch of lads travelling together, hell-bent on hedonism.

I appreciate guys who regularly venture out on their lonesome to travel, party and game. I never go out alone at home, but when I’m travelling solo in a strange country I have little choice. There are advantages of solo travel vs buddy travel. It can be the most rewarding experience in the world. It’s not always easy or fun, but you’re more flexible and make no compromises. I still do solo trips, but personally, I’m in my element rolling with a crew of 3+. There is a several reasons why I prefer it, but the main reason is simply because it’s way more fun.

In the past, I’ve often gotten emails saying…

Hey NN,

I want to travel, I really do, but none of my friends are on the same wavelength. They just want to spend two weeks in a resort in Touristville. They’re convinced that Asia/Africa/wherever is an undeveloped shithole. How do I convince them to join me on a real adventure?

Sadly for a lot of dudes, sometimes it’s hard to find like-minded guys who are willing to hit the road with you. So what’s one to do?

Option A: Go anyway. If you spent your whole life waiting for other people you’d go nowhere. Fuck Touristville with the lads, grow some balls and roll solo to Crapistan or wherever you were planning – you’ll have a better time.

Option B: Start a crew.

Starting a crew in 3 steps

1. Make a compelling itinerary.

Find reasonably priced flights and pick good locations using this technique. After that, float the idea to friends, baiting them before mentioning the cheap price to seal the deal. Tell them about the sexy women, the cheap beer and tales of adventure. Make it sound so good they’d be stupid not to go.

Here ‘s an example from Ernest Shackleton in his quest to reach the South Pole.

Seriously, who could resist that? OK, bad example. Here’s another from Cartman recruiting his Somali Pirate crew.

Avast there, mateys! Do ya have a thirst for adventure on the high seas of life?  Arrre you sick and tired of your parents and teachers telling you what to do all the time? Then join Captain Cartman’s Perfect Pirate Club, arrrr! Just imagine it, me hearties! A life without rules, without homework and chores! You can live the pirate’s life in Somalia, me friends! Even Kyle said so!


2. Foster a Culture

So you have your recruits and you’ve booked flights…now what? Crews, clans, gangs and tribes – they all need a name and a coats of arms. You need a theme. When you cruise into a bar, you want chicks to be wondering, ‘Who the hell of these guys?’ Me and my crew dress like Jedi/Mexican pirates. We have props, theme songs and dances. Women love us. They want to join our tribe. They want to belong. They want our dicks. Don’t be the other bunch of boring dudes looking on in befuddled amazement.

The Rock Solid crew (Krauser, Strangelove and the lads) have f-town.

The VOV duo got the van.

Alibaba had his 40 thieves.

What’s your crew’s ‘thing’? A handshake? A funny dance? Do you cruise in suits? Do you wear fetching hats? Are you Vikings? Rockers? Gladiators? Gangsters? Cavemen?

Sounds extreme, I know, but doing this kind of extreme peacocking can make the biggest shitholes on the planet seem fun. And in tourists town with lots of male competition? – You’ll be the ones attracting the most female attention.

This isn’t vagabonding, it’s swagabonding.

 3. Make adventure a ritual

You had a blast on your adventure with the lads? Now make it a tradition. When I announce a Siege, all my mates jump at the  chance. Now each siege feels like a badge of honour amongst our group. They know what to expect on a ‘siege’. We frame sieges as rituals and the most important aspect of our culture.

Even if it’s only two weeks, make it a tradition to go away with your guy friends every year. It will be one the most rewarding things you’ll ever do. Even if you get hitched, the tradition to be so strong that even your other half will understand it.

And remember the golden rule: what goes on tour, stays on tour 😉

How do you roll when you travel?

12 Responses to How to Assemble a Crew

  1. cookie9001 September 11, 2012 at 5:21 pm #

    Awesome idea!

    The two adventures that I went on were solo, because all my guy friends thought that traveling would be stupid and boring.

    Then I returned with numerous tales of drunken misadventure, fights, daring chases, the pillaging of nubile senoritas, and much much more.

    My next trip isn’t until December, but I’ve already got like five other guys wanting to join in.

  2. Tim September 11, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    Excellent post.

    One thing I know about traditions is that you can’t miss a year, or spouses will forget the traditions.

  3. Texas Scott September 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm #

    There should be N.N. vacations once or twice a year so we could all go party together.

  4. Wonky September 13, 2012 at 11:25 am #

    Texas Scott may have a good idea there. Name a random place, time and theme and see who turns up..

  5. Brian Mark September 20, 2012 at 1:50 am #

    Great post. I think I sent you and Email similar to the one you cited where I was looking to join you on an adventure. Most guys are total pussies and won’t go anywhere. I have been going overseas regularly for years and seldom have anyone that wants to go. Let them stay home, it just means twice as much pussy for me!

  6. shooter mccgavin November 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    WARNING!!! DO NOT DO NOT listen to anything this guys says about getting pussy in eastern Europe!! I am a USA dude who has lived in eastern europe for years( the wild belgrade, the Ukraine, and Sofia) I smoked tons of ass all over this place. I read this guys blog and he is a tourist, granted a well traveled tourist, but a tourist….tourist in eastern Europe DO NOT get pussy. Anyone who as ever lived here for a long time completely disagrees with the stories he makes up about banging chiks here…this whole article is bullshit, EE chiks hate hate hate foreign tourist coming here and treating it like a brothel. You go into a club say hi in english , they will know u are tourist and tell u to fuk off!!! Wearing costumes and going out with “crews” is bullshit british men do on “stag parties”……and will guarantee u dont get any!!
    EE chiks are so so hot, but vastly different then USA and west chiks….stay away from groups of tourist men, NEVER go out with a “crew”, wolf pack mentality will drive woman away gurenteeed..Props, costumes etc….will only make u look like a dumbass tourist which NO ONE likes. i read this guys blog and enjoy travel stories, but when he talks about banging hot EE chiks on wild weekend as a tourist…..its all bullshit


    • Naughty Nomad November 16, 2012 at 4:58 pm #

      I don’t BS. It’s called game. Eastern European chicks love pirates btw.

  7. Gabriel January 21, 2013 at 6:19 pm #

    hello, where I can find some fucking crazy guy to hit the road ?! I got time, I got money, I got balls but I dont have friends who wants to go somewhere else than touristville.Im pretty good with woman, love beer, love danger…So if you got a plan, im in !

    • joe March 28, 2016 at 10:50 am #

      Yo Gabriel,
      I’ve got a sailboat and am currently travelling around SE asia looking for my next adventure. I think you and I are on the same page, could have some good adventures.

      Email me at joe.meyers34 at

      Anyone else interested in meeting up somewhere in SE asia or Maybe europe let me know.

  8. Jonathan February 27, 2014 at 5:59 pm #

    Yo Gabe what is the best way to get in touch with you? Dude this blog is a riot. This used to be my life. Everything Mark writes about I used to do. Even got jumped in Mitchell’s town Ireland because we were peacocking super hard. That’s a funny story.. I’ve been to EE (27 countries and counting) and the chicks there are really hot. Latvia, Slovenia and Slovakia. I will say that Hungary has some of the hottest in the world but they don’t speak English very well. Just made it to Southeast Asia at the end of last year. Good times!

  9. Scooter June 29, 2014 at 12:25 am #

    I am going to do cross country USA from Venice Beach to Louisiana. Will be around November. Anyone want in?


  1. The Shazam Wing Gambit | Naughty Nomad - September 14, 2012

    […] NEW Forum! Subscribe via RSS  « How to Assemble a Crew […]

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.