1. When to send the first text
There a bit of debate about this.
Personally, I think the ‘three day rule’ is bollocks. You want to be fresh in a girl’s mind. Beautiful women exchange numbers like soup at a homeless shelter. It’s an ego thing. The next day or two days after is fine. You want to go from meet to bang as soon as you can—or “limit the time bridge” in PUA speak.
I usually send a text the next evening. Texting in the morning portrays neediness and everyone’s cortisol levels are high and causing stress. Early evening is better than late at night, too, because it leaves a slight chance of casual meet-up that night without giving her time to flake.
EXCEPTION: If you meet her Friday, I wouldn’t text her Saturday and wait until Sunday or Monday.
As another caveat to this, don’t text her if you can’t meet up within the next two to three days. You’ll create a awkward lag period and increase the likelihood she’ll flake.
2. Idea for the first text: Facebounce
This is a great idea for the first text. Especially if suspect she might not text back.
“Hey it’s Mark 😉 It was nice meeting you last night. My facebook is facebook.com/xxxx. Add me…”
Sometimes women don’t respond to the first text. A good looking chick could have given her number to half a dozen guys on a night out. She could have been black-out drunk, too. Mind you, ideally you should always go for at least a make out on the meet-up, but sometimes that’s just not possible (especially in some conservative countries).
This text is great because…
a) It doesn’t require a response and is totally not-needy.
b) She can log on to check you out before contacting you back. “Oh yeah, that guy! He was cute!”
You have an awesome profiler and timeline banner showing you wrestling a bear, right?
If not, sort that shit out. Your facebook profile is like a shop window. Nobody is going to go inside if the window dressing isn’t alluring.
c) It gets her chasing a little. She has to add you or initiate the conversation.
3. Keep it short
This is pretty self-explanatory.
Don’t blab on and certainly don’t write more than she does. Light-hearted one-liners show a cool, aloof attitude. This is not gospel, but keep it in mind. If she responds with longer messages, you have more liberality to mimic the behavior.
When she agrees to meet up, a simple “Cool.” will do.
4. Limit txt-speak and watch your spelling
I know this is rich coming from someone who never proofreads his posts, but nevertheless…
Girls and modern pop-culture constantly employ text gibberish like, “OMG c u @ da club 2nite! tlk l8r bbf. luv u xxx.”
This is not acceptable for an intelligent man of the world like yourself. Using txt-speak makes it sound like there’s an unintelligibly sheep at the other end of the line. Have some standards and show you’re smart. Things like “btw” and “u” are fine if you’re in a rush, but don’t go overboard.
Also: For the love of Apollo, use capital letters at the start of sentences and “I” not “i” when referring to yourself! Nothing looks worse than “i like this. i like that.” It makes you look like a four-year-old.
5. Use exclamation marks and questions marks sparingly
Exclamation marks (and CAPITALS too) convey too much excitement and neediness. I almost never use them. It’s the same with too many question marks. Instead of always using question marks, considering using an eppilsis “…”
Example: “What you doing tonight…”
It’s a lot more laid back.
6. Limit emoticons and use them properly
If she doesn’t use them, you shouldn’t either.
Also, as a rule, you should at limit emoticons to one-per-text maximum (and even that’s too much).
Personally, I don’t send more than one emoticon every three texts. And other times, I avoid them all together.
Here are some emoticons I favour:
The classic smiley face. I’m not really a big fan. I really only use this when I first text to show warmth and friendliness to girls who a little more conservative.
Example: “Hey Farrah 🙂 ” or “It was nice meeting you yesterday :)”
Ah yes, the classic cheeky winky – a personal favourite. It’s a little bit naughty. It’s a good way to wrap up a text conversation. For me, this says “You’re getting it.”
Example: “See you tonight chica ;)” or “Looking forward to it ;)”
The sticky-out tongue is quite versatile. It can mean “only kidding” (a good alternative to ‘lol’ or ‘haha’), a playful “screw you” or “I’m drooling on the floor right now. When I get hold of you, I going to tear your clothes off and ravish your vagina.”
Example: “You’re a creep :p” , “Your loss, kid :p” or “When I get hold or you, I going to tear your clothes off and ravish your vagina :p”
7. When asking a girl out, don’t ask questions, make statements.
This is classic alpha tact. You must be perceived to be in control. Some examples…
“I might be free Tuesday if you want to join me for drinks…”
“Hey, I’ll pick you at x time and y place…”
Alternatively, give the illusion of making statements. Going back to what I said about question marks, employ “…”. It implies your making assumptions, not asking questions…
“I’ll pick you around 9 in town. Sound good…”
8. Give her the illusion of choice
Instead of asking her a simple yes or no question, give her a choice of two things and sub-consciously build “a yes ladder” before asking her out (via a statement, of course).
Here’s a example:
Text 1: “Do you like chocolate…”
Everyone likes chocolate. 95% of the time she’ll say yes.
Text 2: “What do you prefer, beer or wine…”
See what I’m doing? She’s getting caught in my web of trickery! Mwahaha.
Text 3 (the hook): “Hmm…well then, we should have a wine and chocolate night. I’m free Tuesday or Thursday…”
Game. Set. Match. I’ve often used this technique to invite girls back to my place for the very first date. It’s golden.
9. Be untimely with your responses
You know when a girl you like doesn’t text you back for hours? or even waits until the next day? Doesn’t that drive you crazy?
Well guess what? It’s the same for chicks. I purposely don’t text back for ages. If she waits an hour to text back, wait two hours to text her back. If she responded quickly to that text, you may do the same. If she waits a day, a good five hours will do it. Keep her in line and punish negative behaviour.
Sometimes, if it’s some really stupid text, don’t text back at all.
10. Dealing with lag-time and texting to confirm the date
So, you’ve followed all my advice and hopefully you’ve got a hot date tonight. Naturally, you’ll want to confirm she’s coming and you might be tempted to text her saying something like, “Still on for tonight?” or some lame shit like that.
Instead, you should have a reason to text her. Here’s the proper way to do it:
Keep her it the dark until the day of the date. That means that you don’t confirm all the details (ie. exact time and place) in the initial round of text . Tell her you that you’ll text on the day and let’s her know what’s up. That way, when the day of the date rolls around, you can text her saying something like,
“Hey 😉 I almost forgot about you. I’m busy until 7 but I could meet you around 9ish. Sound good…”
See the difference?
I hope this guide help you guys. If you have any of your own tips on Text Game, feel free to share them by commenting below!
If you have questions, you can ask me via the forum.
Other Resources on Text Game:
The Re-start Text by Roosh V
Textual Relationships by Gmac
Text Sex Chat 101 by Krauser
An Analysis of Text Game by Heartiste
Text Game by TSB mag
One question: Is there a reason you use an ellipsis after a question, or is it just something you did for this article? Ex.: “I’ll pick you up in town around 9. Sound good…”
It’s just for the article.
The way I do the confirm text is say “I’ll tell you where closer to the time” then tell her during the day on the day of the date. The same every time.
As for when to text, it seriously doesn’t matter as long as it’s non-needy and playful. Like just today I began a text to a girl named Julia “what’s up yulia…” (calling people by altered/silly names is an alpha move and gets responses)
Changing Julia with Yulia may be disrispectful depending on the girl, dont just use this tip, know her a little. It’s more useful if she got ego, to be slightly disrespectful. If she is shy call her by something she may think is lovely but not common nor cheese. For example, call her Eyish, and if she ask, tell her she got uncommon kind of attractive Eyes.
also, re Facebook: I always feel like Facebook is the fast track to the friendzone. I know here it’s you giving her your FB rather than her suggesting it, but I always feel like they see you as a friend after that. The last two girls who flaked on me are also the only ones in recent weeks where the subject of facebook came up.
This is more true where it’s her suggesting it. Giving her FB is a way for her to basically be nice and not seem like she’s outright rejecting you even though really she is. But either way it seems to me like FB is connected to her mental friend-compartment.
I’m done playing games. Too much effort. Mind u I am 35 (almost). I did the whole pua/david d thing to get laid in my 20s. but now i am past that. I actually become friends with chics first, and then they fall in love with me anyways. Getting old I guess. I look at little kids and almost want to have one of my own. But I do like reading this shit.
I follow all these except the “…”. While it does leave the text open ended, it makes it seem like you’re waiting for a response.
Bangers, you are getting old. You’re at the point where the fatherhood module in your brain is kicking in. Most would agree at your age you’re at your prime. Do what you do, son.
I never put girls on my Facebook! If you have too many photos with chicks you’ll be considered a “player” and all that ish. Social networks ruin relationships. I haven’t had a girlfriend on any of my social networks since 06′.
Yeah, I wonder if is this Facebook-thing really field-tested? Doesn´t seem like it´s putting my number-closed girls in dating-mood when I tried it, even though my facebookpage is awsome. Think I´ll go for something cocky-funny next time.
Being brief in a text, and getting straight to the point is probably the biggest point made in this article. Being untimely with your text messages is also huge. Nothing like keeping a girl on the edge of the cliff waiting in anticipation! Great article
Alpha Text App. This has always been a huge issue for guys, which is why I have created a high quality app for texting women. We have a free version and a Pro version. The pro version gets you free updated content but the Free version is still pretty awesome. There are all kinds of categories for great one liners and convos. You just press the one and then BADA BING texts it to the woman of your choice. Best App on the market hands down. On Android or iPhone!
Hey Mark, interesting article but I’ve got a question regarding how long to text girls back. You mention that if she takes one hour then take twice as long to text her back etc.
But if she waits a whole day to text back, why only 5 hours? I assume that is to avoid both parties escalating delays in case she’s playing the same game as you?
And, what if she texts back really late like a day or even two but apologises for the late text? Will a quicker response still show neediness?
Also, regarding when to send the first text. I’ve always heard that the best timeframe is within an hour or two of meeting her (if it’s during the day) otherwise she’ll lose the nice emotions gained during the interaction with you. Yad of daygame fame seems to believe that.
I hope I’m not sounding like a keyboard jockey here by focusing on the nitty-gritty but I would honestly like to know your opinions and reasoning here. I’m on a quest to learn after all! 😀
Day game would be different and is not my feild of expertise. If she apologizes that shows respect, so I would probably reduce the timeframe to an hour or so. Anyway, this stuff is not an exact science.
Im 32 and have hit the dating game pretty hard over the years… The, “I almost forgot about you” line at the end is very risky, while maybe around half would respond to this, the other half would get offended and become a lost cause.
You post is full of the typical error of mixing up causation and effect.
If person A is driven crazy because person B doesn’t answer to their SMSs until a long time later, that’s because person A really really likes person B in the first place!
If somebody is not that interested in another person in the first place, they won’t give a f… whether they get an answer back or not.
Girls I really like, I won’t lose the attraction if they answer straight away or really shown to me that they’re into me. It’s the opposite, the more they are into me, the more different they are to the majority of the hot girls out there.
For girls is the same. If they like a guy, doesn’t matter if he comes back straight away or shows interest (within certain limits, of course! if the guy is ultra-needy may scare them away but it will need to be very extreme!)
this advice totally depends on the girl…… in southeast asia the more smileys, emoticons, and text speak you use the better
good stuff. well written. I hope you don’t mind a bit of pedantry: by epsilon you meant ellipsis
all the best