Everybody has their origins. Few men start out as Casanovas; even veterans with rock solid game still make mistakes. I am the voice of experience. I tried everything out there. I practices game religiously, got versed on the latest techniques, went out, tried it, failed and began the cycle again. I never had a mentor, the most I had was a computer screen. For me, it was a long sluggish journey to get where I am now. Today I want to help you avoid the same mistakes I made…
Mistake 1: Peacocking with dirty feathers
I used to go out dressed like a twat, and hoped somehow it would get me laid. At one stage, I used to have dreadlocks and handlebar moustaste, then go out with zebra skinned platform shoes with fish in the heel, a ruffled shirt, and a massive purple pimp hat with a matching zebra band and a large feather it in. Did I get attention from women? Yes – TONS, but it wasn’t always the right type of attention. Did I get laid? Hardly ever.
Peacocking works, but you need to look cool – not retarded.
Mistake 2: Over-negging
I use to neg all the time: dishing out subtle insults/backhanded compliments for the purposes of lowering a girl’s self esteem, hoping she will seek validation from me. It worked sometimes, but the majority of time I came across as a complete dick. While teasing has it’s place, it’s not always a winner. Sometime I just hurt people’s feelings. I over-negged. I tried an experiment and stopped negging altogether. The result – my success with women skyrocketed.
Mistake 3: Boasting
In pick up, they call this a DHV (demonstration of higher value). It’s a great way to subtly let a girl know you’re a high value guy, but taken too far it looks needy and pathetic. My biggest flaw was boasting (it probably still is). I can’t help it. When I tell someone them about my life, it just comes across like I’m a pretentious, conceited prick. The problem is I’m too awesome. Even when I’m being modest, I’m still too awesome. Guys consider me competition, girls think I probably jack off to my reflection. I’ve had to learn to shut the fuck up about myself.
Mistake 4: Over Analysis
This is a problem for a lot of guys. I not longer pine over irrational reactions, flakage or interpreting texts. I no longer focus my attention on any particular woman. I’ve stopped thinking about what I’ve done wrong. When you get into the game you’re mind is in over-drive: how is my body posture, what angle should I point my feet, what should I say after this, time contrast, neg, kino, DHV. Ahh! Maybe I need to read more. A quote I heard once: “There’s no such thing as an armchair Lothario.” Women can tell if you’re treating the interaction like a chess game. Unfortunately it takes time to internalize things, then you can stop thinking and learn to relax. In golf, you can theorize about your swing all you want, but unless you hit the driving range you won’t get any better.
Mistake 5: Failing Logistics
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. How are you going to bang a girl on the first date if you have nowhere to do the deed? It’s common sense. In the early days, I never thought things through. There were so many lost opportunities. You have to have a plan for end game. You have to plan, where you going to take her, what your your going to do, and how you’re going to steer her into your den.
Maybe you live at home… Use a fucking shed – A heater, a soft surface and a few candles is all you need (used to do this plenty). Hell use the local church if you have too. Once there’s privacy, a horny chick will bang just about anywhere.
Maybe you’re travelling and staying in a dorm room… How the fuck do you expect a chick to get frisky in front of a load of backpackers? Real players use private rooms on date nights.
So there’s my mistakes, hope this helps. Please share yours…
Related posts from other bloggers:
The Mistake Buffer by Roosh V
Top 1o Online Dating Mistakes by Gmac
Top 10 Strip Club Mistakes by the G Manifesto
Why I’m not a PUA by Frost
Good advice, especially the logistics part. I’ve fucked myself over countless times due to bad logistics.
I still over-analyze too much and fail with logistics on occasion… always a work in progress, you just gotta make sure you learn from your mistakes.
IM in the same boat as Gmac:over analysis.
That’s the key point that leads to discouragement is when one over think shit.
About the private room for date nights I can agree but how about this: you go out and pull some tail and bring her back to the hostel. You didn’t book the private because it’s much more expensive and you don’t know for sure that you’ll pull. In such a situation, an Aussie guy in a hostel in Riga fucked a girl twice in the bathroom so that’s definitely an option. Once she’s horny she’ll fuck almost anywhere decent enough.
For me it’s not having a high enough state. If you go in with more energy then the set you are approaching then you can say any old bolloxs and get away with it because you are where the party is at. All that ‘don’t lean in’,’neg her’,don’t do this,do that stuff can be pretty much forgotten or ignored if you have a higher energy then the other blokes in the club.
I do peacock but not to extremes like Mystery. I usually wear a bow tie, it looks cool as fuck when worn with a denim shirt or t-shirt. A friend of mine peacocks with a pirate voice,chicks seem to love it.
Over Analysis is definitely my issue. I guess its better to have that than no analysis at all.
Once you’re over 30, money is the best aphrodisiac.
I know this response is hella late, but I’ve found that while money helps, most of my Same Night Lays come when I don’t spend money on the girl. Just be attractive and fun. I’m 37.
“My biggest flaw was boasting (it probably still is). I can’t help it. When I tell someone them about my life, it just comes across like I’m a pretentious, conceited prick. The problem is I’m too awesome. Even when I’m being modest, I’m still too awesome. Guys consider me competition”……Modest dude. Really fucking modest!!! Pretty obvious that boasting is your biggest flaw.
he he he Trevor. that one hit the nail.
I live in Pattaya, dont need analysing. sometimes i pay, sometimes not. But that also means that my gaming sucks today, things have comed to easy……But soon i will go to west africa as a whorist..cant wait
Hey bro like your site and am a young traveller like yourself but have to admit I’m a bit offended by your West Coast characterization of a pick up artist. As a California native I can safely say I have never seen anyone dressed in a goddamn furry ass scarf or hat with fucking ski goggles trying to pick up in the club. Maybe youd find one in the most awkward corner of the bar on halloween at a gay club. If your ever out in Los Angeles I can take you around some spots with some prime wannabe Hollywood starlets and the classy Angelenos who bag them night after night and get your misconceptions sorted. Peace out and keep the travel updates coming!
ok, no mater what is your reason to “share” us with us, to be proud with your abilities or because you have a good heart for others needs, but is good to read (as almost all articles from your site are).
I believe the most important aspects to approach a girl are not here. The most important aspect in my opinion are not in the list. The biggest mistake of a man is to “pretend” that is a alfa male when he is with a women. If you pretend (and that’s a lie obviously) the girl will be suspicious about you and in will keep some distance. Win her trust and you will have her….be natural, and definitely you will be more attractive to her. Also was very useful for me to not be lazy and go to the gym seriously, a strong body full with muscle will be always a plus.
As someone that also didn’t have any mentors while going through the journey of learning game, I’m definitely guilty of #2,4, and 5 on more than a few occasions. Luckily, I was able to learn from my mistakes. Sometimes you need to make mistakes in order to learn from them and grow.
It’s all part of the price of learning game. You lose a lot of girls in the beginning as you learn but as you get better and better, you start making up for those early losses.