Monrovia in a word: unfrequented.

Chance of Hooking up: 5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 2.5 / 5
Nightlife: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: $3 for a small beer in clubs.
Bed: $100 for a private room. ($35 for a shitty brothel on front street, not recommended)
Bud: $? Can’t be much
Board: $7  for a standard meal.
Budget other: You need moto taxis to explore the nightlife. Club entry is around $15, free before mid night.

Currency Conversion

Overview

Liberia has a GDP per capita lower than Somalia but still manages to be one the most expensive cities in West Africa to visit. It’s also considered  quite dangerous and things like running water and electricity are almost non-existant. Recently a war zone, this place is seriously off the beaten track. Many of the building are now bullet ridden shells. As such, tourists in Monrovia are unheard of.  But hey – it’s good fun! Unlike most African cities, it is well laid out and thus not so hectic. Liberians can prove quite hospitable and the women may be the most accommodating on the planet!

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

Liberian girls are not like any other African. The have extra attitude, spunk and they love to fuck (they also have cute semi-American accents and are known for their big booties). I’d give them a higher rating but unfortunately, the best looking Liberian girls are usually found outside the country in Sierra Leone, Ghana and other countries where they can earn better money as prostitutes: a sad fact of war.

Monrovia might just be the easiest place in the world to get laid. Threesomes are common and if you ask a girl to bring her friend along she will. Sounds like a dream right? If you’re a foreigner, local girls are likely to pounce on you in nightclubs, but equally likely to carry a knife. Do not bring girls back to your place. This is the 5th poorest country in the world and you’d be surprised what people are willing to do to get their hands on a little cash. Get a rent by the hour room on front street if you must or if they have a place go back to theirs. Be wary of the “pay $10 for my transport” scam. Precautions aside you can have a blast here. Just read my experience below. If you want to get a local girl it’s simple: go on the weekend, read my last nightlife recommendation below and then just show up. That’s it.

If you’re looking for something a little less dangerous, there are two other types you can for. First there is the ‘Congos’, the rich decedents from freed American Slaves (indecently they enslaved the locals when they first arrived); they mainly hang out in the classier little bars near the U.S embassy in central Monrovia, but mainly in the diplomatic area of Sinkor. Finally there is expats and the staff at the casino at Ocean view hotel (near Mamba point). Here you can find some semi-decent Eastern Europeans (mostly Romanian) and the odd Asian.

Nightlife Recommendations

Outside the weekends and Wednesdays (ladies night) don’t expect much. Sunday the Casino is the only place open, but other nights you can find some sort of fun.

Exodus

This is the place where all the expats and NGOs will warn you about. “It’s dangerous” we were told. Therefore we had to check it out. It’s a decent sized bar with strictly locals. The good news is it’s in the city center, it’s cheap and its consistently busy unlike most places.

Deja Vu

It’s a little far away but this Lebanese owned nightclub in the best thing about Monrovia. People of all shades and stripes flock to this place on the weekend. It can get crazy. There are tons of single ladies willing to jump your bones. You won’t want to leave! Get there before mid night if you want to avoid paying $15 in. It doesn’t get busy until 2. This place rox!

Embassy is another nearby venue. It’s a little more rave-ish and a little less hip-hip (like Deja Vu) f that’s more your scene.

My Monrovia Experience

It’s hard not to talk about Monrovia without talking about sex. It’s a pretty boring city otherwise. We originally stayed in a seedy brothel but couldn’t hack it and moved into a 4 star hotel. We also bought a pet chicken to join our Mexican Pirate crew. His name was Captain ‘Francais’ Cluck. It was all kind of nuts.

Our first night sieging Monrovia we went to Deja Vu. I never refused so much sex in my life. Women were fighting over us. I even refused two threesomes (no shit). The reason? They didn’t have their own place. In the end I choose to go home with a sexy chick with crazy white/green/red/blue hair who had a house. The next day, a different girl called to my hotel. She was dressed as if she was starring in a porno with a cracking body and massive DDs popping out of her dress. She told me she saw me at the club and found out where I live. She told me she wanted to fuck me the night before but there was too much girls trying to talk to me. Within 10 minutes of meeting her we were in a private room. I couldn’t get her lips off my dick. After screwing her brains out she even offered to give me a massage. Class!

As for Gary the fish, he went to bed early that night in Deja Vu (got too pissed). Turned out two girls knocked on our door at 4am and offered him a threesome (for free). He said no. Probably wise considering they could have robbed him/ demanded money anyway or stabbed his drunk ass. I can’t say I would have been so sensible.

That was only the first 24 hours…

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

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This entry was posted on Friday, July 22nd, 2011 at 7:10 pm and is filed under City Guides, Liberia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.