You don’t get a million hits without garnering a faithful bunch of envious, conceited pricks to rain on your parade. I actually get strangely giddy reading posts, comments and mail from my haters, so I thought I’d reciprocate with a sextet of verses…
To my haters…
You say I am crazy, you say I am haughty,
A hedon who dabbles in everything naughty.
Feminists, betas and PUA hate,
All those who doubt me, who slander and slate.
I do have an ego, for that I am guilty,
I’m shallow, I’m reckless and sometimes I’m filthy.
I may be an addict – for beautiful faces,
I may be a nut – going dangerous places.
But you know I find, is much more deploring?
Monogamy, the rat race – now that shit is boring.
I’d prefer to be drinking, gaming and scoring,
Or off in the wild, getting high and exploring.
When it comes to the ladies, I know you get green,
So many flags, some only sixteen.
Now some of my views, I may change with age,
but while I am young, I am hunting for strange.
When it comes to travel, I know you feel strife,
I’d seen more last year, than you’ll in your life.
In your concrete jungle, you’re a 9 to 5 leech,
While I’m in the jungle, on a mountain or beach.
So hate all you want, I’ll keep rolling in style,
With a girl on my arm, and cheeky bright smile.
If we ever do meet, I hope you are fit,
to get to your knees,
…and munch on my shit.