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My First Marriage Proposal!

Or at least the first one while both parties were sober…

Last night my date proposed to me… on DAY 2!

Thou shall not casually bangeth

It was the most surreal date of my life. Of late, I’ve had a propensity to date devoutly religious virgins in their teens. I don’t what it is, but I keep ending up with these chicks. I’m getting laid by other girls but I’ve gotten to the stage where I relish a challenge.  I’ve finally found a worthy nemesis – God, the biggest cockblock ever.

In reality,  my interactions with these women ultimately end in stalemate.  They want to get very serious, very fast, while I’m more interested in feeding my ego by taking what is most precious to them – their chastity. The situation usually involves hardcore Muslim girls, but yesterday was a little different.

It was my second date with an attractive 19 year old Nigerian Christian. Customary to most of my day 2’s, we ended up in bed. Although she let herself become extremely aroused, she wouldn’t escalate to sexual intercourse. She was a virgin and she informed me she was adamant on waiting until she was married. Cockblocked by God, again.

We then proceeded to have one of those effortless, multi-facted conversations that last all night and end up with each person having a profound and intimate understanding of the other. We talked about religion, our core beliefs and values. I built so much comfort it felt like we went through a 5 year relationship in one night. I tried my best to challenge her creationist beliefs and dismantle her dogmatic values, but my efforts were futile.

I told her it could never work. She said it could.

At the risk of loosing me she came up a crazy solution – she proposed to me.

Girls today..

She asked to be the father of her children, her baby daddy.

“Are you serious?” I asked.

“I’m very serious.” She insisted, looking lovingly in my eyes.

I didn’t believe her at first, but she was completely dead set. This girl wanted to marry me. I was in shock, but rather flattered.

She had it all worked out:

“You can still go travelling, I don’t want to get in the way of your dreams but I want to be married by the time I’m 25.”

I hesitated.

“You didn’t give me an answer..” She said, looking for the elusive “I do”.

I told her I’d think about it, I talked about comprise. 6 years is a long time and I don’t plan on settling down so early, but it’s nice to know I’ll have the option of a cute virgin bride when I’m in my early thirties…

This morning she woke up and sneaked off to the shops, surprising me with a cooked Irish breakfast in bed, what a sweetheart.

On reflection, it was a rather intense second date.

Have I learnt my lesson? Sigh..  I wish. I’m courting a young Libyan beauty at the moment. We haven’t even been on a date yet and she’s already asking me to get serious. WTF? I’m still going to see the Christian too.

Why do I do this to myself?

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11 Responses to My First Marriage Proposal!

  1. Mr.Killian January 6, 2011 at 9:06 am #

    so that’s who’s voice it was in the background when you called me last night??? funny stuff

  2. Joseph Dantes January 6, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    Huge “aha” moment for me.

    This is how you build a global harem.

    Thx buddy.

  3. Omega Man January 6, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    I have heard guys say you can have sex with religious girls, but they have to be able to rationalize that it “just happened.” Illegitimate births among evangelicals in the US suggest they are no better at staying virgins than anybody else. I think it is the greater culture rather than the religious beliefs that controls peoples’ behavior; MTV is much stronger than the church. You are talking about foreign born and raised girls who have not been programmed to be sluts by the Western media culture; you can’t manipulate their programming the same way. With Christians you might try telling them the Bible says nothing at all about about fornication, only adultery; the Koran is probably the same way.

    • Naughty Nomad January 6, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

      Really? The bible says nothing about pre-marital sex… hmmm I smell a contingency plan.

  4. Sillywiseguy April 5, 2011 at 12:37 am #

    Yeh, as a former Jehovah’s witness, I’d say the best way to get into a religious girl’s head, is to start with toys, then finger, then head, and then go all in. The more you tap into her erotic desire, the more likely her defenses will dissipate.

  5. Mar July 31, 2012 at 9:20 pm #

    As a former Jehovah’s Witness girl, the hardest part is probably overcoming the guilt that a religious girl has been indoctrinated with concerning sex in general.
    Tapping in to the erotic side works but before having “deep” conversations where you question the logic of irrational beliefs is always a good start. It makes you gain trust because you are showing you are not as soulless as these sects claim outsiders to be, but rather a logical and intelligent individual. If you gain trust through these conversations the rest will be much easier and you will also be doing her a favor by opening her eyes to other ways of seeing things, hopefully making her realize what a waste of time these religions are.

  6. muzzy October 31, 2012 at 6:40 pm #

    well the iibyan woulda been harder shed expect you to convert
    and give up alot of the things u like
    simialer situation with me with an afghan girl …she wanted me to be more devout muslim…no liquor….no bad touchin…none of the good stuff

    muslim girls are always strict along with bahi zoroatrian hindu an sikh girls(but that middle eastern an south asian culture…but even some christians of those communitys will have similar thinkin)..
    course youll get ur handfull of sluts though..get tested

    but for the most part christian athest an jewish are willin to shake it off but these tend white girls or afro american
    the reason these girls hang on to virgintiy is so they can get married
    even if the guy isnt….cuz thats how they roll an thats what the guys want

  7. caveman June 7, 2013 at 11:12 pm #

    Please don’t throw in one pot all the sects and radicals with the real chtistian churches…this is all quite different. Sects want control and manipulate and the church is a place you go for healing and cleaning yourself.

    @Mar
    “If you gain trust through these conversations the rest will be much easier and you will also be doing her a favor by opening her eyes to other ways of seeing things, hopefully making her realize what a waste of time these religions are.”
    What do you believe in and what do you want to tell your children about the sense of life?

    I’m a pickuper, but I’m religious too. I see it as the only natural way of getting to know a woman todays.. You need’t attack religions and do this typical “religion is sooo irrational”-shit talk to pick up a girl and feel good with that. I could say, “Rational” thinking is irrational when talking about an existance in another reality (dimension? time?), but this would be the wrong place for this.. I also could answer all beginners objections about christianity very good and logical (e.g. When god does exist, why children must suffer and so on..). Else, why humans need a religion.
    But only if there is interest which I doubt on this site…

    Doubters, answer me one question: What evolutionary sense (yes I believe in evolution!) does it make that all human societies tend to develop a religion, search for the mystical, other-wordly and so on? Why are humans not like busy robot ants who believe only in rationality? This would have been much more powerful in evoultion. YET in every human there is laid the need to seek for mystical/religious experience, a total waste of energy and time in the eyes of evolution! TRY TO ANSWER THIS TO YOURSELF! There is no biological explanation!

    Anyways, great great site, naughtynomad! Thanks.

    • Feri Naf September 26, 2013 at 3:55 pm #

      In the past religions were developed: a) to control the masses, b) there was no science to explain weird stuff.
      Now religions are developed (in much smaller scale, think scientology): a) because some people are crazy, b) to make money

      But that’s not what this site is about …

  8. cereal killer November 17, 2015 at 6:32 pm #

    Of course she want to be married. I never was married but I know few situations when girl want to hurry up to be married young, and all of them are divorced now.
    Guess what. the arguments of the girl was :I was young and stupid but now I want to live my life”. So usually that’s happen when is married under 20, under 25 she realized that some aspects of life are not in her life, everything is boring and other people have a lot of fun, and she not.
    Don’t do that mistake to accept a very young girl, because usually they don’t know what they want, and you will waste a lot of years in your life. If you really want a girl to marry, the perfect age is 30.

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