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Trouble in Tomsk: Drugged, Robbed & Jailed in Siberia

Tomsk City

Eager to experience the nightlife in Siberia, my good friend Danny and I found ourselves in a nightclub in Tomsk. As the only tourists around, we had no trouble making friends; benevolent locals presented us with shot after shot of Russia’s finest vodka. Danny was talking to a gorgeous student at the bar and I was the center of attention on the dance floor. Things were looking good…

But it all went up shit creek. Literally.

We were naive to cruel intentions. Unbeknownst to us, we had been poisoned by a potent and dizzying elixir.

Danny was the first to experience the effects. Sharing a shot with his new googly-eyed maiden, he skulled back his drink which such enthusiasm, the momentum of the glass defeated Danny’s balance and soon he found himself engaged in a prolonged struggle in stay on his legs. He fell backwards, destroying everything in his wake. Glasses smashed and chairs abated. Then, an almighty cataclysm between him, a table of drinks  and the hard floor. Danny lay in a heap. While he was helped to his feet, I was busy trying to stay on mine…

A similar experience

I too started to feel strange. I rushed across the dancefloor to take cover in the bathroom, but just as I entered the putrid hole-in-the-ground my legs gave way. I landed face first into the nearest shit-ridden squatter toilet. Fail. I made several attempts to stand up, but every time ended back squirming in the epicentre of every sludgy turd. Covered in slop, I was powerless to fight the force of this vacuous black hole. I black out. The next thing I remember – I’m in jail.

Danny is panned out beside me talking in circles. My blothed memory recalls the police laughing at my confused Russian. I remember trying to offer bribes. I remember being in a car. Black out…

Next thing I know, I’m waking up in my own vomit in my hotel room with Danny beside. He couldn’t remember a thing! Our wallets were gone, our heads were pounding and our speech was slurred and incoherent.

Overall a pretty good night!

My Hangover

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14 Responses to Trouble in Tomsk: Drugged, Robbed & Jailed in Siberia

  1. Hansson June 10, 2010 at 2:59 am #

    This reminds me of when I was drugged in a touristy disco in the Dominican Republic. Didn’t wake up in jail though, but on a bus in the morning sun some 6-7 hours later, without any memory whatsoever. Sat on a beach for an hour trying to get my speaking abilities back in order, hailed down a taxi, had to get money from a change booth – the woman seemed to be pretty scared when she saw me – (they took my last 20 bucks but left the credit card) and got back to the hotel. Slep for 20 hours. Fun. Examined my behind, don’t think anything REALLY bad happened…

    • naughtynomad June 10, 2010 at 3:26 am #

      That’s so weird, thats the second comment in a row about someone getting robbed in the Dominican Republic!
      Sounds like fun!

  2. Danny June 10, 2010 at 9:04 am #

    I remember it like it was 80 years ago!!!!!

    I still have the wallet I bought the day after!!!
    What a night!!

    Remember the heads on us the next day?

  3. jurko June 10, 2010 at 9:13 am #

    Fuck, that reminds me of a visit to a disco in nearby Irkutsk (nearby in russian terms). The weirdest club I’ve ever been to. Girls are dancing, boys are ogling them. And there was a room with strippers and some jaded working girls. Didn’t get as drunk as you though 🙂

  4. maer June 10, 2010 at 10:38 pm #

    whats your approach to gaming russians?

    • naughtynomad June 11, 2010 at 1:44 am #

      Learn Russian! haha
      But seriously, a few words make the difference.
      The more Russian I learn, the more success I have.

  5. mrkillian June 11, 2010 at 1:24 pm #

    Don’t think you’ve ever told me this story before man… haha

  6. Karl June 15, 2010 at 12:11 pm #

    It’s actually not so uncommon in 3rd world countries to get robbed with the help of drugs in the drink. Combine that with the out-of-this-world-stunning female giving you extra attention at the bar… guys fell for it the last 20.000 years of history. lol

    Have fun but watch out. 😀

    • naughtynomad June 15, 2010 at 2:49 pm #

      True. But Russia isn’t exactly 3rd world…

      • Auckland Pickup October 12, 2010 at 2:40 am #

        meh, I guess it is all relative? Some people will refer to NZ as a third world country…. yet it isn’t really even though we’re falling behind.

        Of course for you who has seen the worst of third world countries then it is no wonder you don’t think of Russia as 3rd world too! 😛

  7. whose-delight November 29, 2011 at 11:03 am #

    I love “Fakel Disco” in Tomsk

  8. muzzy December 14, 2012 at 5:26 am #

    ya 10 yrs time russia will be a very hglhy devopled nation on the hdi by the speed its growing…plus the winter olympics will defiatnly bring in more cash..russia just has shotty infrasture

  9. Adam October 30, 2014 at 4:38 am #

    Hey Mark.
    Where do you go from being robbed and ridden of your belongings?
    What is typically the damage? – how much and what exactly do you carry in your wallet during most of your nights out on travel?
    I am new to travel and looking to learn from others xp. Thanks!


  1. A Second Chance | Naughty Nomad - March 10, 2012

    […] I went to Russia and thought it was the second worst country I’d been to. But I’m willing to give it a second chance. My Russian was non-existent at the time. I had no game. I travelled there with my parents.  I got drugged, robbed and jailed. […]

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