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Kampala City Guide

Kampala Central

Kampala in a word: Bootylicious.
C.O.H: 4 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 3.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €.90
Bed: €12 for  a private
Bud: €1 a gram
Board: €3 for a meal.
Budget other: Some of the best white water rafting in the world! Budget around €80
Currency Conversion

Overview

Uganda kicks ass! Kampala is base camp and party central.  It’s also one the few cities where you can find monkeys hanging around your room. Ugandans are considerable more friendly than the Kenyans next door. White water rafting and lake Bunyonyi are an absolutely must. This place offers endless entertainment.

OH SHIT! Grade 5

Sexy Salma

The Girls

If you’re a man that likes a hip to ration ratio to beat the band, you’re in the right place. They have tiny waists with big assets that would convert any man. They got it and they know how to use it. Bootylicous babes stalk the city and are keen to meet foreigners.  But remember,  like a lot of east Africa there’s alot of working girls at night. If you have no options just shore em. Even if she seems normal and friendly be careful – there are a lot of pick pockets so you need to be on your guard. If you go to right night spot you can find ‘normal’ girls. Your best bet is day game but it’s hard to find time with all activities around.  Just ask a girl for her phone number and she will jump at the chance.  Girls here are very direct and anything but frigid. Many are curious to bed a foreigner and make sure their good ambassadors in the bedroom. They sure leave a lasting impression. If you strike out just get stoned and play with the monkeys.

Nightlife Recommendations

There isn’t too many tourists who brave the streets at night time, which is good for you!

Top Pub/Sax bar
Boom city. They are both around the same area, goods places to for a casual drink and also to pick up some sexy Kampala girls. Watch your wallet. Open 24 hours.

Capital Pub
Capital pub is really more of a disco than a pub and a really good night out. Not all the girls here are working girls.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Marijuana is illegal in Uganda, and so is any related action.
There have been calls by farmers to legalize, but no action has been taken.

Law enforcement: Police have conducted raids on local farmers. But people smoke out in the open in many parts of the country.

Where to buy marijuana: Go to Kasanga or Kabalaga on the outskirts of Kampala, down Gaba road. You can usually find someone at Al’s Bar or Capitol Pub.

Even better, get to know a boda-boda taxi driver and ask them to get it for you. You can get them pre-rolled or in larger quantities from someone’s neighboring village.

This is “Uganja.” It is referred to as gangja, weed, salad, and bang…

Marijuana prices: In Kampala, 30 hand-rolled marijuana cigarettes for roughly 10,000 Uganda shillings ($5.70). You can get more in rural areas for much less.

More information: You can find marijuana almost anywhere in Uganda, especially in Ssese Islands and Sipi Falls. Just find a young staff member at a hotel to help get it for you.

My Kampala Experience

White water rafting was the highlight. But there was a close second. This was the fastest close I’ve ever experience. I was outside Sax when this slim, big booty babe approached me. She whispered in my ear…

“You’re eyes are like paradise”

“…eh… thanks”

That may have been a line but it totally worked. She got right to it…

“I want to make love to you, African style..”

“For free!?” I asked.

“Of course for free, we can go here…” She pointed at the building in the distance.

“Let’s go!” I gleefully replied.

She walked ahead of me, flaunting her amazing ass in a delberate and teasing fashion. When we got to the room and the first thing she said was…

“You are like water… I need to drink you”

I’ll leave the rest up to your imaginations.

It was all good, until one hour later when she told me – By the way, I’ve HIV…

Monkey figuring out how to use a mirror

Getting stoned by Lake Bunyonyi

Let me know about your Kampala experiences and leave a comment!

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21 Responses to Kampala City Guide

  1. SirBangalot May 9, 2010 at 8:26 pm #

    You’re kidding me with that story, right – she wants to drink you down?

    While I was gaming in a supermarket here in London, I had a similar experience with a Ugandan woman with slim bod and great T&A.

    I think she’d been watching me game for 5 mins or so, and saw me give my mobile phone to some boring white chick to put her number into, so this Ugandan lady knew what I was up to.

    Her approach was similar, but much watered down from yours. I guess the West has infected her.

    Sometimes life just doesn’t get any better.

  2. BMW WAMACHI October 14, 2010 at 5:43 pm #

    i need girl tonight

  3. ve April 22, 2011 at 8:53 pm #

    “If you strike out just get stoned and play with the monkeys.”

    This is where AIDS came from.

  4. Superman June 13, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    This is a funny and interesting post…I happen to be from there, so it’s crazy to see someone talking about day game and SNLs in Uganda…good shit!

  5. dermaskenmann November 29, 2011 at 11:12 am #

    I plan to go to Uganda. Are the women there circumcised? I hope not.

    • Naughty Nomad November 29, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

      Couldn’t tell you man… I don’t think it’s a major problem

  6. zziwabakr December 13, 2011 at 11:59 am #

    need big booty lady with big ass

  7. Russel January 24, 2012 at 9:42 pm #

    Kabalagala is probably the easiest place in Africa to get laid. Not the safest though. Picked up a girl there after turning down a dozens in less than a hour. Fun night but I would not have taken off the condom even to pee.

    • Naughty Nomad January 28, 2012 at 1:16 pm #

      Thanks for the input Russel.

  8. NomadTravels February 10, 2012 at 7:06 am #

    Where did you stay at Lake Bunyonyi?

    • Naughty Nomad February 10, 2012 at 11:51 am #

      Can’t remember…

  9. dana sema June 28, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    I do believe that you really like banging gals, but I after going through some of your posts, I ask my self, do you ever find it hard getting laid?. Seems like everything is easy for you. Makes me doubt how true you might be. I might be wrong though. Like, are you really committed to being the best? if yes, how?, what are the challenges you face? I don’t mean any comparisons here, but I feel Roosh is very authentic and doing a great job. Wanna learn a few things from him?

    Of course, for Uganda, any white guy(mzungu) who has been there know that its as easy as fuck to get laid in Kampala. Doesn’t matter whether it’s a 70 year old granny. It’s mainly because the girls still think of white guys as exotic and they are dirt poor, so they expect money from most white tourists. Any white guy (however ugly) will get laid in a developing country like Uganda (with or with no game). Is it worth writing about?, Not sure. BTW, I am Ugandan.

    If you wanna challenge yourself, go to a place that you think will be hard for you to get pussy. This will improve your game a great deal. Lebanon really humbled me. (Considering that I am black, these people worship whiteness, I only banged one chick and I still believe it was total luck)

  10. PAUL November 8, 2012 at 1:35 am #

    I REALLY ENJOY YOUR WEB SITE ! I AM A VIETNAM VETERAN FROM THE USA BUT LIVING IN THE PHILIPPINES FOR 12 YEARS AND TRAVELING TO ASIA FOR OVER 40 YEARS. WE SHARE THE SANE HOBBY AND TO ME ITS MORE OF A LIFE STYLE ” I LOVE THE LADIES “AND I LOVE TO PARTY. MY LONG TIME DREAM IS TO DO EAST AND WEST AFRICA SO COULD YOU PLEASE RECOMMEND 3 OR 4 MUST DO DESTINATIONS ON EACH COAST SO I CAN HAVE THE BEST EAST AND WEST EXPERIENCES. I AM LOOKING FOR AMERICAN FRIENDLY DESTINATIONS AND NON ENGLISH SPEAKING DESTINATIONS ARE NOT A PROBLEM. THANKS P.S. JUST READING SOME OF YOUR CONQUESTS IS GIVING ME A FEVER ” JUNGLE FEVER !

    • Naughty Nomad November 8, 2012 at 6:30 pm #

      East Coast: Uganda, Zanzibar, Zambia, Ethiopia
      West Coast: Freetown, Guinea, Ivory Coast, Lagos.

      • Sonny July 8, 2015 at 11:27 am #

        I see you recommend Zanzibar but you don’t have a post about it. Is that just a recommendation off of W.O.M or have you been there? If so please post.. your stories bring laughs.

  11. Kruse November 26, 2012 at 1:50 am #

    @ Paul. Many of the best sights are in Uganda. You have the rafting in Jinja, the Chimpanzees and Gorillaes in west Uganda. Further, there is also safari with most of the big 5.

    Further, I think Uganda is great!! Its true that girls are attracted to white men, and that is super fun, being white. You can have whatever girl you want.

  12. strip October 18, 2014 at 5:42 am #

    Kampala is great so many great stories I went through a lot of women at my hotel. The ladies who worked there were bringing their friends to meet me. Sex is like a sport there going back soon.

  13. David April 1, 2015 at 7:16 pm #

    I more than enjoy your stories NN of travels around the world accompanied and countless sexual conquests.
    It reminds me of my “wilder years” not too long ago in my mid-twenties/mid-thirties (2000-2012) when I was running around the world as a wine and spirits export manager, getting paid to get people drunk on expensive wines, champagnes and spirits, all while imbibing the booze as well, in great company with Q.O.G. at an average of 4/5 in most places and 5/5 in other circles.
    Needless to say sales runs and meetings in suit and tie 9-5, the long flights, etc. were BORING!! But the promotional events (massive gala booze parties) almost every night were ABSOLUTE PUSSY FESTS! With sleepless nights, alcohol galore, gorgeous women. It definitely made up for those long haul flights and those excel sheets of sales stats! The C.O.H. was at an all-time high 5/5 because to add to the damage I have the fit body and good looks required for the job. Rare were the nights I went back to my hotel room alone…
    Most of the year I was travelling 70%-90% of the time. Dream life for a single guy, all fully paid hotels, flights, dinners, parties, heaven right? Especially when you take into account that in that high-end lifestyle you can aspire to many beautiful educated women wanting to keep you company at night, and this NOT ONLY in developing countries.
    From the Philippines, to China, Japan, Russia, Poland, the UK, Brazil, Mexico, Colombia, Nigeria, Ghana, Cameroon, Canada, the USA, and at least 50 other countries, I was flagging left and right an average of 2 to 3 different girls a week, taking into account I was not in one city (and sometimes one country) for more than a couple of days. I lucked out as well on the fact that even though many pics were taken and e-mails exchanged this time period was for the most before the major advent of social media (FB, etc.) allowing for discretion from one city to another, and preventing girlfriend back home from getting jealous!
    But all of this came with a price. That I’m surprised that besides the odd HIV account in Africa, you may have never even considered….
    You can imagine that with all the free booze, beautiful women and endless nights, accidents happen. Yes, the “bad condoms” that break, or that you forgot, and you just say fuck it! Since the booze makes you feel invincible, and you stick it in there with all that pleasure of doing it “old school” like your ancestors used to. What’s even funnier now that I look back, is that many girls actually would ask me not to wear a condom, weird, but so it is.
    The countries in particular involved in my predicaments, were Russia, the Philippines and Brazil. The girls countless in each one of these. But life has a way of reminding you of the particulars….
    That time that hungover as hell you woke up and couldn’t find the condom, remembering you said “fuck it” but thought it was funny because you enjoyed it. The time the girl freaked out (you more than her) when you came out doggy-style and the condom had broken from too much shagging, the time you can barely remember details but you know there was no condom involved.
    I don’t want this to become an ethnic sludge fest (of course the Russian did this, the Brazilian did this, or the Filipino did that, etc.) So I’ll let you guess which woman did what. All I’ll say is that a few months later I had to deal with a very well written letter from an educated university girl saying she had aborted our child, since I had not even been gentleman enough to keep in touch. To this day I regret not having kept in touch. I’m not the type of man to abandon my offspring.
    Followed a couple of years later by a lawsuit through an American Embassy (of that country) where the woman had managed to prove my fatherhood (bureaucrats will believe a poor woman with a baby in arms and some pics/e-mails/resemblance of the child). Since then I’m paying a good amount of my salary in child support for a beautiful six year old girl that I do not regret. Just the mother’s methods I regret…
    And recently I’ve learned I have a ten year old son. He was raised by another man. His mother a high society professional had just admitted to him the truth. I guess resemblance with that man was not there or a fight broke out revealing the truth? But in her circles being a single mother was not possible, can’t blame her for her dignity. I thank her for at least letting the child come forward, I will be travelling there soon. She needs no money but the child want to meet his true father.
    So for all this long story, I have one question, has it not crossed your mind NN that shagging left and right might put you in my situation in a few years?… I remember my father’s words, Sex is a matter of life and death. As a horny teenager I thought it meant he was desperate to get some, besides my mother, ha! I’ve been proven wrong.
    But now I know sex is life, two kids now, and unfortunately also death, the aborted one.
    By the way sex is death also in the fact that unfortunately one of my business colleagues who travelled as much as I did but I guess had riskier behavior than I did, is now living and will most probably die of HIV!
    Yes SEX IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH! Just wanted to bring it to your attention, so you remember next time you shag a girl, measure the possible consequences…

  14. Bman April 24, 2015 at 5:50 pm #

    Kampala is the booom — I lived and worked there for 1yr and Dame was it a crazy year. A different girl every night — clubbing from Wednesday to Sunday. I tell you those chicks truely think sex is a sport. The most wildest thing is that most chicks can squirt (kachabari) they call it. And no matter what you do not let them rid you cause they do something with their hips that just causes you to cum quick time.

    The best place in Africa i say no wander Churchill called it the Pearl of Africa. The women and the land is so fertile.

    • JOHN July 23, 2015 at 5:35 pm #

      HI
      how are you,Bman
      i hope to go to Kampala in November 2015,looking for some tips,i hope to have fun with the local girls,

  15. Rob June 21, 2015 at 11:55 pm #

    Dude, Kampala is even better than you describe, and the women are amazing. I am always very careful around them when i’m over there though – we make jokes about safe sex here in the U.S but over there, anything not including at least using a condom is not only not safe sax. but often downright dangerous. I mean, nobody likes a condom, but fuck, HIV is a bitch, and around every corner. It’s not like you can tell which of them are going to be the one you regret forever.

    That said, take your precautions gentlemen, and enjoy Kampala and Uganda to its fullest. It’s a hell of a ride. My tip, or rather my M.O. is getting the girls small stuff on top of lunch and fun activities like rafting and clubbing, like getting their ears pierced or something else they have been wanting. That keeps them around for the while you are there and just the right amount of interested – not clingy, but ready to go in more ways than one. Cause when you’ve found a good one, and you have a set departure date, why run the risk of playing with a bunch of them? But that’s me, i don’t need to change every night, i like the whole “romance” (read crazy sex, outdoors, in pools, waterfalls, rooftops etc. both drunk, high and sober, daylight or after-dark alike) for a week and keep the memories thing more than just the sex – which is something you get anywhere anyways.

    My fave? Taking a girl rafting outside Jinja, and having her blow me underwater during one of the long stretches of just floating by (just tell the dude, who is usually a canadian or kiwi or something, to give you and your girl some room at the quiet stretches, they’re usually cool and catch the drift) then sneaking off during the lunch stop for the grand slam. Oh, and the changing rooms at the end were fun too… just not quite soundproof.

    Can’t wait to go back…

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