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Tallinn City Guide

Old Town

Tallinn in a word: Bliss.
C.O.H: 3.5 / 5
Q.O.G: 4 / 5
S.T.L: 2.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer:Around  €2
Bed: €15 for a private room
Bud: €20-30 per gram :/
Board: €3 for a meal.
Budget other: The ferry to Helsinki is €50. But why would you go there?
Currency Conversion

Overview

Ahh.. Baltic Bliss. This medieval city is one of my favourite places in Europe. The old town is incredibly charming and the women are incredibly beautiful. Don’t miss the Old Town Days festival in June.

Old Town days

The Girls

Carmen: Talent from Tallinn

Hubba hubba! How hot you think the girls are will depend on what direction you are coming from. If you’re coming from Riga, Latvia – you’re spoilt for life and nothing will compare anyway! If you’re coming from nearly every other country in the world you will think you struck genetic gold! The quality is supreme; lots of slim blondes with great smiles. The ratio is you’re favour too! Estonia is one the only countries with more girls than guys. They are very approachable in bars and during the day. The city is small so sometimes the girls get a little paranoid as they don’t want to appear promiscuous. Kissing is public is fine, but getting her number for a private meet up is the best strategy if you take it further.

Nightlife Recommendations

Levist Väljas

This cosy, underground bar has cheap beer and live music. It’s ideal for a pint and some chat with your buddies. It picks up late and has a great atmosphere on the weekends. It’s also a local hang out, attracting an alternative crowd and the sexy rebellious types. There’s no tourists and the girls end up picking US up in this place.

Shooters

My bro who lived here several weeks reckons this is the place to be!

Hollywoods

Five stories, 3 bars and girls everywhere. Need I say more?

*Another source suggests club Venus as a good pick up place.

Ti - Ti- Tallinn Nightclub

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Estonia has softened its approach to drugs. In 2002, new laws reclassified ‘small amounts for personal use’ as a misdemeanor (previously, it was a criminal offense). However, those at the top end can get into trouble.

Law enforcement: Police in Tallinn are everywhere – especially in the old town. while they never really pull you over and I’ve never seen anyone get searched by them in the street, their strong presence alone is cause to exercise common sense. Apparently, they can issue a charge sheet, but apparently, they almost always suspend or defer the misdemeanor hearing in the interest of efficiency. However, if there are special circumstances, you could get into trouble. Furthermore, whatever you do, don\’t drive under the influence. In Tallinn, police come down harshly on drink driving and some traffic offences. If you are pulled over and you are stoned on top of that, you may well see the inside of a jail cell.

Where to buy marijuana: Tough one. The best advise I can give is to find well connected ex-pats. You need someone who knows someone. The belief that you’ll just happen to come across it sooner or later is wishful thinking to say the least. The latest reports say “Your best bet would be going through Old Town asking people. Just look for people who look like they smoke, if a person is wearing Air Forces (nike) he’ll most likely hook you up if he trusts you, he’ll most likely speak decent English too. Almost all people that wear “rap” gear smoke mary in Tallinn. Make sure you watch out for the cops while doing so and make sure to make the person trust you somehow. There is a lot of undercover cops in Old Town. So most people will most likely ignore you, but if they trust you it all depends on how much dope you are looking for. They’ll most likely have to take you somewhere safe to make a deal or they’ll have to go pick it up if you’re looking to get lots. Go through parks, you might find someone smoking there. Ask around the kids hanging around in Park Lepistiku in Mustamae, you’ll most likely get a hook up there.

Marijuana prices: About $18 USD for a gram. Latest reports put it higher “Starts at 35 euro a gram but if you need a lot the price drops.

Brands: Skunk is available. The skunk I came across was fruity and full of crystals. Really blew my head off too, but apparently, it’s not always that good.

More information: Relatively lax laws, but few people smoke it in estonia (even young people). Alcohol is the drug of choice by and large and pot is simply difficult to come across.

Put your Bob Marley shirt on and make sure people belive your actually not a cop.

My Tallin Experience

Tallinn is beautiful to walk around in the day time. We were there during the old day’s festival and the buzz in the city was electric!

First night : went to Levist Väljas with four friends. I got a pre-invitation from a white-blonde emo chick at the next table. Went over asked her name, then just kissed her cheek and went to the bathroom. She later asked me to go outside for a “cigarette”, we just left and made out like crazy. I took her number and carried on.

Second night : invited her to my hostel for a bottle of red. After the bottle the conversation went something like this…

“So am I staying with you tonight? I need to tell Mama if I’m coming home” She asked.

“Yeah, if you want” I said. (holding back my elation)

“You know I used to swallow swords in the festival.” she informed me.

“Really?”  (I tried not to cream myself)

“Yeah..  I’ve been told I give the best blow jobs in Tallinn”  (Holy. Shit.)

She did.

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18 Responses to Tallinn City Guide

  1. The G Manifesto April 30, 2010 at 8:51 pm #

    Thanks for posting. I will put to use, when I go later this year.

    – MPM

  2. Brazilianguy October 13, 2010 at 4:08 pm #

    Hey, Nomad!
    I hope your Adriatic Sea trip is going well!

    I´m going on a 15 day trip to Eastern Europe with my cousin in august 2011 and need your help!

    Could you tell me the easiest places to score (for 2 Brazilian guys with Italian looks)? I´m asking because you gave all of the EE countries a 3 rating on the “Chance of Hooking Up Scale”, so there appears to be no difference between them.

    • naughtynomad October 16, 2010 at 12:38 am #

      hmm.. I rate Tallinn and Kiev as the your best options.
      Check out Air Baltic for cheap flights between cities..
      I gave both cities 3.5 on for COH.

      The reason for so many 3’s in Europe is the fact that the scale is relative to some cities in Africa and Asia.

  3. OperationTallinnFlag August 15, 2011 at 8:42 pm #

    Just came back from a Sat-Wed in Tallinn and then headed to Helsinki for 2 days. Words cant describe! Even with overly hyped expectations, these 4 americans crushed this place which included multiple flags (including one Estonian playboy playmate). We heard all the blogs talking about how beautiful the women are but we didnt expect that 1 out of every 3 you see on the street are hotter than a Victoria Secret model. Seriously kept our day game spinning all day long and everytime you think you just saw the hottest girl in the world, another is right around the corner. Sun-Tues was quite slower so its optimal to visit Thur-Sat. Really wish we didnt waste 2 days in Helsinki which is over priced and whats the point after Tallinn. Tallinn is like Vegas so you really cant take more than 3-4 days but perhaps a side trip to Parnu for summer months is ideal to break up the week. The downside are the UK Stag idiots and the Russian mob. You can easily determine which bars are controlled by the Russians and its just better to avoid otherwise end up on a stomach punching contest. ha ha

    • Naughty Nomad August 16, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

      Thanks for sharing man!

  4. Ockham's_Razor November 21, 2011 at 3:46 pm #

    What long-term lodging arrangements would you recommend? I know hostels are usually easier to smash by default, but if I wanted to stay in Tallinn for about 3-4 months, where would you recommend? One of my buddies also gave me overwhelmingly positive reviews of the place…but do you think its worth making a long-term trip out of it (think Roosh in Colombia or Poland type pilgrimage). I’ve served my two year corporate stint and am deciding between Colombia and Estonia (might do both). Your thoughts are much appreciated man, love the blog.

    • Naughty Nomad November 21, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

      Estonia might get a little small after 3 months…but it’s awesome. I’m afraid I have no info on long term stays. My bro worked over there for a month… but her stayed in a hostel – he said it was the best experience ever.

  5. UKR_SLUG December 22, 2011 at 3:24 am #

    Damn i knew i should have went here when i had the chance. Sounds LEGIT man…

  6. mclovin December 8, 2012 at 1:01 am #

    roosh was here
    reveiws seem worth the trip

  7. James H December 13, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    Riga or Tallinn? In terms of women I am sure both of these cities have enough talent. But which overall is a better place to visit?

    • Naughty Nomad December 13, 2012 at 6:23 pm #

      Tallinn. Hands down.

  8. Shura April 12, 2014 at 9:29 am #

    Please help me get a little bud for personal use while I’m here in Tallinn.
    write to [email protected]

    • Dj December 24, 2015 at 5:45 pm #

      hi, how are you? did you get sorted in Tallin. I’m here for the holidays and could do with some help too. kind regards Dj

  9. Max888 September 23, 2014 at 11:15 am #

    Just came back from Tallinn – loved it!! But it is a very small place, and pretty dead from Sun-Thurs!!,, there aint much to do there in the day except see Old Town and do daygame!! Chicks are friendly, and its worth a visit. Overall I preferred Prague though, as more exciting, and just as many women!

  10. Ibe July 15, 2016 at 1:42 pm #

    Hi,

    How is Balkan & Eastern European girls perception of Middle Eastern guys? Would be approaching them challenging in such case?

    Cheers

    • Mark Zolo July 18, 2016 at 4:05 pm #

      Not good to be honest. They don’t like Arabs and openly say it. The refugee thing has made things worse.

  11. Tatoh23 January 13, 2017 at 4:27 pm #

    Whats the perception of peruvian guys in tallinn, will be easy to score ?
    Thanks

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