For the third time I’ve been caught out.

Someone I’ve been intimate with has stumbled upon my blog.

The first time it happened, it prevented me getting one of Eastern European flags. Before I could arrange a second date she somehow found it (through a sneaky male acquaintance I suspect). We’re still on good terms though.

The s time it happened I knew wrath. The girl was pissed. She was an Afro teen who felt used and abused after being reduced to a flag. She found particular offense in phrases like “black girls are so easy” or my HIV story. Needless to say, she stopped fucking me.

The third time was an Asian girl I hooked up with in Europe. She actually found it ‘lively’ and ‘sexy’.  How cool is that? If you’re reading this right now I want you to know you are awesome!

This is one of the reasons I’ve removed my face from the header. I don’t want to get my ass caught again.

Let this be a lesson to any of you guys who run a game blog.

This is a short post, but I just started my masters this week so I’ve been real busy.

My book is getting close to completion. The first draft is already finished.  22 chapters of mayhem. I can’t wait!

A release date will be coming soon…

I also should mention:

It’s my 25th birthday today!

Just thought you should know…

 

Ok, now that I’ve pulled you in, let’s replace the word girlfriend with primary.

I don’t have a girlfriend. The term carries too much baggage.

I have a few fuck buddies. And that’s basically all we do.

But the odd time I find myself spending time with one of my fuck buddies outside the bedroom. Why? Because I actually like spending time with them. These girls tend to become what I call my “primary”: my favourite if you will.

For some reason my primaries nearly always end up being African girls (often Nigerian). I wondered why…

Be warned: This article is rife with generalisations, but play along…

Lately I’ve being dating a few Asians and Latinas, but they just don’t seem to do it for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll shag em’ no problem, but  in between orgasms I find myself being uninterested or bored. But with many African chicks it’s different. Why?

1. They’re confident. Many girls, espically Asian girls, act all coy and sweet. While it’s adorable and it makes you feel all the more dominant, it’s boring. I like a girl who can have fun with my friends, tell a story, express herself. African culture encourages extroversion. Take your average Nigerian girl for example – she’s full of little idioms, charisma and gesticulation. It’s hot. Confidence is sexy and many African girls have it in abundance.

2. It’s cool. Ok, this is more for non-black guys. Let’s face it, you rarely see non-Afro guys with a black girlfriends. Part of me thinks that many of them are intimidated by them. Personally, I love walking the streets with a Afro chick under my arm, especially one with looks to kill. I love the stares we invite, the evil glares from old racists, disapproving African guys and jealous white girls. It’s a statement. In a post-racist society it’s cool to date outside your race. Fuck anyone who thinks different.

3. They’re really horny. Apart from religious virgins, I find it’s true. “Us African girls are the horniest,” were the words of my first black girlfriend.  The kinkiest chicks I’ve been with have been Afro girls.

4. They’re great in bed. I maintain African bodies are the best going for the reasons stated in my Sex in Africa 101. While some of you may prefer lighter shades, when it comes to ass I generally find the darker the skin, the better the buns. I’ve been with dozens of Afro girls, and let me tell you – when you’re pounding them doggy style it’s hard not to blow your load in the first few seconds. And then there’s those lips, those big succulent lips. Best blow jobs hands down. The best head I’ve ever gotten was off an Angolan and a Haitian.  Plus when you’re in bed you get to call them n**ger. It’s just so dirty and wrong it gets you hard.

5. They’re more accepting of promiscuity. They may not like it, but most African girls turn a blind eye to their guys fucking around. Polygamy is widespread on the continent so women are used to sharing their men. Most African chicks who come to the West will tell you that guys from the own country are pure players. If we take the example of Nigerian guys in Ireland, not all, but many of them would quickly cheat on their Nigerian gf if a half-decent blonde wanted their dick. Don’t ask, don’t tell. The reality is I find Afro girls have no problem with you fucking around provided you’re not disrespectful or don’t talk about it.

 

Agree or Disagree? Share your thoughts…

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Conakry in a word: Raw.

Chance of Hooking up: 4 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.75 / 5
Nightlife: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €.80 for a large beer.
Bed: Not many options, €30 average for a private room.
Bud: Cheap, €1 for a decent handful.
Board: €1.50 for a decent meal.
Budget other: The usual: taxis and club entry. Budget an extra €5 a day.

Currency Conversion

Overview

It’s raw, rough and all over the place, but fuck it. Conakry grows on you like E-coli on room temperature British beef. It’s additive. I’ll give it whoever wrote the blurb on the Lonely planet website, they hit the nail on the head:

Conakry is a city with a somewhat split personality. It has an erratic infrastructure and growing crime rate so, like with many cities living under rotten regimes, a visit here can be frustrating for travelers. On the other hand, Conakry is an undeniably pulsating place: colourful, spontaneous, friendly, musical, a little wild, and always full of contrast. The city’s vibrancy and openness come from a very African flavour. These more subtle charms are likely to grow on you with time and many people end up loving the city by the time they leave. It’s tailor-made for a (long) weekend blast.

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

Guinean girls are some of the best in Africa; they are often very beautiful, genuine and friendly. This is the only country in Africa where the super cute Fula tribe form a plurality (40%). Other significant populations are the Mande groups Mandinka and Susu, the latter of which mainly reside mainly in Koloum. The capital city receives little or no tourists so you will find it pretty easy to  pick up serious hotties. The catch: basic French is usually required. But trust me, a little goes a long way here. Also, Islam is the dominant religion and most women do not drink alcohol (but still party). During the day, there’s often parties on Ratoma beach with loads of cute girls. Otherwise, Kaloum is your best bet for wealthy women and girls with jobs. If you are Pipelining, do so in French. . The night is still the best option, no matter what type of girl your hoping to meet.

Tip: Try learning a little Fula. It’s easy and the girls love it!

Nightlife Recommendations

You can have what ever type of night you want in Conakry. I stayed in both Koloum and Ratoma so I got to experience the whole myriad of venues in the city. Some of this info you find anywhere else. Here are three solid recommendations, starting from the classiest place in town to the sleaziest.

Crisber

This slick joint is in northern Ratoma near Taouyah, and attracts the young, rich and beautiful. This is the best place to find ‘good’ girls from wealthier families. The standard is here is sky high. Models also frequent the club. The only problem is, it’s a bottle service kind of place. As a result, the beers are a little pricier and  it can be slightly cliquey. Busy most nights, but show up late. Out of the three, it has the highest quality girls but is also by far the hardest to pick up in. Crisber is very much a local haunt so some French is crucial.

Colisium

Located in Taouyah, this place is probably the best option for a night out. It’s a nice big place with a decent dance floor as well as a cool outdoor bar. It’s busy most nights and attracts a mixed crowd of good girls, bad girls, locals and expats. The beers are also cheaper than the other two places. It’s not going to blow your mind, but definitely worth a punt. Don’t show up before midnight.

Bembeya Nightclub

This is Conakry’s dirty little secret. Hidden in upper class district of Kaloum, your taxi driver will probably have to ask for directions. Unlike the other venues, it’s free in (when we were there) but the beers are the most expensive in the city (€2, o no!). This is probably because male patrons don’t stick around too long. Women will fight for your attention.  Some of the girls her are stunning! The best looking girls in the country come here to charm those with deep pockets. That said, it’s easy to shore. You will either love or loath this place (I loved it!).

Getting High

Where to buy marijuana: If you are visiting the Fouta Djion, get it there. In Conakry, ask the guys at the Reggae bar a few doors up from Collosium.

Prague Marijuana Prices: For €1 we got 5 small packs: each enough for two or three joints of pure herb.

My Conakry Experience

Apart from problems getting money, changing accommodation three times and the odd scam, I loved Conakry. Five days wasn’t enough for me. I found the people great and the city extremely diverse and engaging. We went to a great concert on the beach and each night was completely different. As for chicas, Gary the fish and I  both hooked up. In fact, the fish got himself a temp-girlfriend for awhile. Suspecting she had ulterior motives and paranoid she had spies in the area, he subsequently not only made us change hotels, but move nearly 10 km away in Koloum. Although I was slightly agitated by his inscrutable actions, it all worked out for me. It was here I hooked up with this breathtaking Malian girl on our last night. The new flag  aside, she was probably the most beautiful woman I was with on the trip. I almost stayed. Sigh… if only I  had one more night. (another popular song in West Africa)

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Dear readers,

Thank you for your continuing support.

Recently Naughty Nomad was nominated for ‘Best Travel Blog’ for the blogger’s choice awards 2011. I’ve spent many hours of life providing you with informative, kick ass material. I purposely enter war zones and shit holes, getting into trouble with girls, drug smuggling and officials all for your amusement. I’d really appreciate it if you take a little to vote by following the link below. Every vote counts. With just 300 or so votes we can snatch the award!

Click here!

All right guys, over the next few weeks I will be giving my big breakdown on West Africa. Expect city guides from every country on the coast, stories, rankings and plenty of solid, sound advice.

West Africa is not for pussies, this is hardcore. Every country is completely different, but in general – bribery, corruption, violence, poverty and lack of infrastructure make this one of the hardest regions in the world to travel. That said, it’s FUCKING FUN! You will never be bored…

In truth, the most dangerous thing about Africa is not war, corrupt officials or street crime – it’s the women!

Welcome to the third world.

If you are considering travelling to sub-sahara Africa there are a few things you should know when it comes to sex…

1. African women have the best bodies in the world.
   Period. That’s coming from a guy who’s been to over 70 countries. They have the slimmest waists, the highest hip to waist ratios, the best bust’n'booty proportions, extremely low upper arm circumference and superb jaw lines and cheek bones. You will easily encounter and mate with the sexiest women of your life on the continent. Furthermore, they know how to exploit their assets to the max!  African women are extremely confident – it’s sexy!
2. Most sexual relationships in sub-Sahara African are transactional.Or at least it seems that way. Unfortunately, this is the rule rather than the exception. Getting sex for free is often a foreign concept for many African men. This sad truth is, at night it’s common to see men compete to pay for sex. This is normal. Remember, poverty is rife, and often this is the only way women can make money. In many cases, the woman in a transactional sexual relationship may remain faithful to her boyfriend, while he may have multiple sexual partners. In other cases, the woman may have multiple partners. It’s a little hard for the visitor to get their head around. The funny thing is, the fact that one doesn’t pay for sex is greeted with equal befuddlement by many women in Africa. This culture is well represented in the number 1 hit playing throughout the continent at the moment… Nwa baby (meaning prostitute). Catchy as hell!
3. On average, 90% of the women you meet at night are prostitutes.
   Building on No.2, most of the girls you meet at night are pros and semi-pros (similar to parts of Asia and Latin America). But don’t worry, this is not always the case. This percentage fluctuates depending on city and venue. You can meet plenty of “good” girls in Africa, but the harsh reality is the “good” girls are either old, too ugly to make money as prostitutes, super religious or rich (very rare). If you don’t pay for sex (like myself), often the only realistic option at night time is to shore. If you haven’t already, read my article shoring 101 before you continue.
4. Be wary of one night stands.
   Sub-Sahara Africa is easily one the most promiscuous places on the planet; one night stands are  very common. But you have been warned – just because a girl agrees to go home with you for free, it doesn’t always pan out the way you like it. Trust your gut. The majority of time you will have a wonderful experience. But pick the wrong chick… after sex she may demand money anyway; ask a large amount for ‘transport’ afterwards; rob you while you’re asleep; tell you a sob story of her sick baby, her mam with no legs etc… It’s not often, but it happens. Don’t want it to happen to you? Follow these simple rules…

   
   Go to their place : not yours. This solves all problems. On my last trip this became a rule for us. At least then if there’s any trouble afterwards you can just leave (or in some cases escape in anti – style). Also she doesn’t know where you live! You are free to move on to the next girl without any repercussions, such as jealous psychos showing up at your door – a recipe for disaster. Alternatively, consider a rent-by-the-hour hotel… not very classy but sound logistacally.

   Travel light: Give everything you own to your mate. Cards, cash (apart from taxi fare), phone, jewelry - everything! They can’t rob you if you don’t have anything. I’m reminded of a funny story in Ghana where two girls brought me back to their place… but that’s for another day.

   Girl Proof : If you must bring a girl home, girl proof your room. Stash all your shit. Even better, if you’re with a friend get him to actually remove everything from the room and let him care for your belongings for the night.

   The whole thing seems overly cautious, but better to be safe than sorry. As mentioned previously, most sexual interactions will be smooth and pleasurable, but 1 in 10 end badly. Play it smart.

   5. HIV and AIDS

   Ok, so West African AIDs rates aren’t that high, but you will likely be sleeping with the virus’s core demographic. Further south, the rate climbs dramatically so make sure you educate yourself. I’ve slipped up a few times, but try and not to follow in my foot steps.

I hope this article is helpful… Feel free to share your experiences here for other travelers. It may sound like rough territory, but I LOVE Africa and would recommend it over any other continent. You can still find plenty of smart, beautiful, caring and incredible women here, perhaps even the mother of your child. If you’re looking for real adventure, incredible scenery, wild sex, and stories that will last a life time… this is the ultimate destination.

Forget what you’ve heard, experience the reality. This is Africa my friends. Welcome to the last frontier. Go.

 

We scramble frantically through the Liberian jungle. Time is short. The forest grows ever more sinister now, the atmosphere becomes tense. An eerie quiet pervades the wilderness as mist sets upon our path. The jungle is thick and brooding. We pass small villages and refugee camps. Along the dusty roadside, villagers stare at us as we pass, baffled by our presence. There is only one place in the world you could be going…. Cote d’Ivoire. We arrive at the border of the minutes before it closes, every inch of us covered in red dust. We are the only people around.

An estimated 165,000 Ivorians fled their country since the turmoil, with most escaping to Liberia. Although Gbagbo has just been captured, people have been killed in the country the day before we arrived. It seems however, the humanitarian crisis has clearly been deflated. The wooden bridge that separates the two countries no longer hosts a torrent of desperate souls. The time we arrived, it only knew the footsteps on two wandering Irishmen, dawning sombreros and a our pet Monrovian chicken – Captain ‘Francais’ Cluck. Forgot to mention, we bought a pet chicken in Liberia. He became an honorary cluckineer for the trip! (great at disarming corrupt officials and border guards btw!)

Anyway, back to the border. A group of Ivorian soldiers beckon us as we cross no man’s land. They take our passports. After a lot of investigating it started. “Donne 10,000 CFA! ($20)” It wasn’t happening. He dropped the bribe to 1000. We were in no mood. It took a lot of persistence to get out passports back without handing over cash. Unfortunately the guy at immigration was even more stubborn. He refused to give us an entry stamp without paying 1000 CFA. We bite our tongues and forked it over. The sun was starting to set and the rains were on their way. We needed to get to the next town before the dark. We hoped on a moto and started our journey into the Ivorian jungle. We knew we would face problems…

Although the distance to the town was short, there was no road. We snaked through the bush on a bumpy mud track, taking us through large stretches of stagnant water and makeshift wooden bridges. Only a kilometer down the trail, our first checkpoint. Bribe. Another few kilometers, same story. Bribe again. It was getting dark. Traveling the path at night was unwise at best, reckless at worst. It was not safe.

After one hour, Gary’s tire burst. Nightmare. We were not going anywhere. The driver attempted a repair and time wore on. The horizon grew dim and darkness swept across the land. Then, a little drizzle persisted. I had not felt rain on my skin in several weeks and I welcomed each drop. Lightning ignited the sky. The jungle was roaring with life; a open air concert of cacophonous inserts, birds and strange sounding creatures. In the darkness, I became mystified as the air became alight with fire flies dancing to the fiery sky.  A spectacle seen be few. But this was no magic moment…

Gary’s driver soon revealed his inner tube was destroyed. We were in the middle of nowhere, stranded in the Ivorian jungle in a lawless place. Blood still ran down the many small rivers we passed. It was a dangerous excursion. Faced with little choice – Gary, his luggage and Captain cluck climbed on my moto. We began the slow trek through the African wilderness, lightning at our back and darkness in out path.

It was almost inevitable that only a few kilometers later, we should run out of gas…

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HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM DUBLIN!

How appropriate that only yesterday, the blog reached 100,000 hits since it’s inception in April! Along with it’s first 1,000 fans between Facebook and Twitter. Not a bad start to 2011 at all!

Bring it on.

As the header suggests, Naughty Nomad is a Travel & Dating Blog, or at least pretends to be, so I won’t bore you guys with my irrelevant resolutions relating to my love handles or my wallet. I’ll stick to what really matters – travelling the world & dating the local cuties.

I’ve set 3 sure-fire goals for 2011.

1. Visit 15+ new countries

I’ve already committed to even MORE travel since last week. I’m off snowboarding in France in a fortnight and the next week I’m in the Caribbean. In March I’ll be taking a little a dip in Slovakia & Czech Republic and then it’s off the West Africa for a few months. In theory my goal of 15 new countries will be completed by the summer! By the end of the year it could well be 20+ new countries after I visit the gulf  around September. Provided I’m granted safe passage in Africa this one’s in the bag. Expect dozens of top-notch city guides spanning four continents.

2. Acquire conversational French

Using the Pimsleur audio program I’m acquiring the language fast. I’m a complete beginner but at least I’m already acquainted with Spanish, another Latin derivative. With my trips to France, Haiti & Francophone Africa I will command the language of love in no time. How will I measure my success? Let’s see how many chicks I bang by spittin’ Frog.

Me: “Ca va?”

She swoons…

Her: “Wow, il est le Nomade Naughty!”

Me: “”Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?”

Her: “S’il vous plaît!!!”

I’m pretty sure it’s gonna happen exactly like that. Right?

3. Capture half a dozen flags

I’m pretty satisfied if I sleep with 6 new nationalities a year. A little sad you may think, but that’s because your not a shallow flagger like myself.  Last year I captured 10 flags, but that was a lucky streak. 2011 might yield the same results, but I’ll be content with 6, I’m not greedy. Because of my hectic travel plans in the first half of the year, this goal is likely to be completed in conjunction with resolution #1 by the summer.

Most desired flags of 2011:
Dominican Republic, Oman, Somalia, Slovakia, Cote d’ivoire & Sierra Leone.

Most likely flags of 2011:
Dominican Republic, Haiti, Ghana, Sierra Leone, Liberia & Senegal.

Sounds Doable. Pun intended. Giggity Giggity!

Fell free to leave a comment on your New Year Resolutions…

2010 has been a blast!

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all my readers and wish you guys a happy new year!

It just seems like every year just keeps getting better and better. Today I look back at an amazing 2010 and give you guys a taste of what’s in store for 2011!

2010 in review

January

After counting down the New year in London, I packed up my winter wear and took an 11-day trip to a snowy Eastern Europe. The  trip was spread out over Minsk, Belarus (-25c) and Kiev and Lviv, Ukraine. It  gave me an opportunity to practice my Russian and see a Europe that few people see.

An overenthusiastic first night on the sauce in Kaunas, Lithuania caused me to miss my flight to Minsk next morning, forcing my hungover ass to get a new flight from Riga. A rocky start, but things got better by the day.

Minsk rocked. I couch surfed, met loads of cool people and attended some crazy parties.

I then cruised down to Kiev and fell for the city instantly. The girls  blew me away! The city was the second city ever (Riga being the other) to be awarded 5/5 in terms of girl quality. I was privileged to capture the flag, and in the process slay a vampire.

Ukraine becomes my new favourite country in Europe. I nearly set up a hostel.

March

I took a trip over to visit my cousin in Seoul, South Korea. He showed me a fantastic time and bought me to some really cool hang outs, giving me some sterling recommendations for nightlife on the city guide. The Korean chicks weren’t biting but it turns out English teachers are super easy! Without much effort I managed to get taken home 2 out 4 nights there, once by an America and once by a Newfy, adding a Canadian flag to the collection.

I then flew from Seoul to return to my beloved Philippines. I spent my time there exploring Luzon, drinking and screwing like a mad man. My first night in Manila was spent with an exceptional beauty.

One night in Olongapo I was drugged, raped and robbed by some bitch, ah well. It wasn’t all bad, I spent a few days living in the apartment of a real cutie after that. She was heartbroken when I left, but she recently told she got engaged.  I wonder if her American Navy fiancée knows I was banging her while he was on tour…  Mwahahaha!

My last day in Philly was spent celebrating an insane St.Patrick’s Day in Angeles city. I finished the holiday off with a stint in one my most frequented cities, Kuala Lumpur.

Man I miss the Philippines!

April

I start this blog! Naughty Nomad is born.

My hits get of to a good start with the release of my Ladyboy Survival guide.

Naughty Nomad coins the term  ”Shoring” and it spreads like wildfire through forums and blogs across the internet.

May & June

After some side-trips to London and Warsaw, I realise it’s my final year in university, so I should probably stop fucking off to other countries and take my degree seriously.  I yearn for Abroad…

The blog starts to raise a few eyebrows as I release my most controversial post – By the way, I’ve HIV.

July & August

I stay at home for the Irish summer, picking up my French flag in the process.

I try an experiment and become celibate for 28 days.

My hits skyrocket when I document the Last 10 Great Adventures.

September

The epic and ridiculous Siege of the Adriatic take places in the Balkans. 4 new flags (Aussie, Macedonian, Israeli & Welsh) are captured and many women are slain by my fellow crew members.  If you haven’t read about the Siege do so now. It basically entailed me and three friends spending 24 nights in a row dressed as Mexican Pirates, on a non-stop party through Eastern Europe.

I produce my Big Balkan breakdown after the trip.

October

I come home revitalised and start dating like crazy. In the process I get my Cameroon and Portuguese flags.

November

The Siege of Malta is staged, the flag is captured and my backpack is put away until the new year.

December

Most of my courting and sexual exploits involve eager nubile black chicks. They’re just too easy.

After booking some plane tickets, I prepare for my first two excursions in the new year.

2010 Stats:

Total Countries visited: 17

New Countries visited:9

New Flags Captured: 10

Not a bad year! But 2011 is going to out do 2010 by a mile…

2011 – holy shit.

Jan 27th  - I fly solo to the island of Hispaniola in the Caribbean. Over a period of two weeks I will be getting under the skin of the Dominican Republic and Haiti. Soon I’ll be up to my eyes in sexy chicas. Get jealous!

March 26th – I’m going back to Africa! I’m on a one-way to the Gambia in West Africa. T’will be madness of the highest degree over 12 countries!

October  - If I come back from Africa alive, I’m visiting the gulf. I think the Middle East needs a wake up call, don’t you?

Get ready guys, it’s going to a good one!