Thinking of learning Arabic?

Not sure where to start?

Confused about what dialect to learn?

Let me save you some ALOT of time.  I’ve traveled  extensively in the Arab world and learned several versions of the language through immersion and university, from Egyptian to Levantine to Modern Standard—so listen up. But first, let me give you….

 5 REASONS why you should take up Arabic

1. It’s extremely useful. Nearly 300 million people speak Arabic as their native language! Furthermore, there are 25 countries that have Arabic as their official language, making it the third most widely spoken language (by number of countries), just behind English and French. 
2. Arab women are sexy! Arabic women come in all shapes and shades, but nearly all are vastly more feminine than their Western counterparts. Whether you’re looking for an exotic fling or a virgin bride who is wholly focused on taking care herself and her family—Arabia has it all on offer. From mixed French-Moroccans, to liberal Lebanese, to Haleeji princesses, you have quite a bit of variety.
3. It’s f**king cool. Every player is learning a Latin language, be it Spanish or Portuguese. Even Russian and Mandarian are en vogue these days—but nobody is learning Arabic. Quite Bondesque, I may say. I’m not saying you should learn it just for props, but when girls hear me spittin’ Arabic, it gets a far more powerful response that the others linguas mentioned.  Plus, Arabic feels great to speak. It’s masculine like German, expressive like Spanish, and can sound as sexy as French.
4. It’s not as difficult as you think. It’s a little tougher than Russian but easier than Chinese. Arabic script is actually pretty easy to get your head around AND it’s phonetic! Many of the sounds like the rolling ‘rrr’ and the guttural “huh” are the same as in Spanish.
5. Because…why not? How much time are you wasting everyday… playing video games, browsing SHIT online, or sitting on your arse. What if I told that just 30 minutes a day could have you conserving comfortably in Arabic in 12 weeks? YEAH!

Pumped yet?

OK, now before you start Goggling Arabic lessons, let me stop you right there! There is one very important thing you need to know.

ARABIC IS NOT A LANGUAGE. 

HOLD UP! Yep, you read that correctly. Arabic is more akin to a proto-language group rather that a homogeneous entity, much like ‘Latin’ is to French or Italian. Forget the difference between Saudi and Moroccan Arabic, even when I went to learn Levantine Arabic after  Egyptian (neighboring regions)— I couldn’t BELIEVE the differences. I might as well have started from scratch. To call them ‘dialects’ is a stretch. But thankfully, certain variants are universally understood. Here’s the score:

Broadly speaking, there are roughly five major regional strains of Arabic:

• Maghreb (North African)
• Egyptian
• Levantine (Lebanon, Syrian, Jordan, Palestine)
• Khaliji (Persian Gulf)
• Mesopotamian (Iraq)
• ‘Modern Standard’ (Classical / Koranic / Academic)

So which Arabic should you choose?

First of all, let’s start with what NOT to choose.

DON’T LEARN Modern Standard Arabic

Let’s start with Modern Standard Arabic—or MSA for short. When academics or constitutions refer to ‘Arabic’, they’re usually referring to Classic Arabic or MSA. They are the same thing.  There is nothing ‘modern’ about MSA. The ONLY time you will hear MSA is in mosques, in pan-Arab news, or in stupid university courses teaching Arabic as a foreign language. It’s useless. I did a year of MSA with my Masters last year and my Arabic actually got worse.

Nobody speaks it. You are FAR better off learning a colloquial version.

DON’T LEARN Mesopotamian or Maghreb

There are too few Mesopotamian speakers to warrant learning it. Outside Iraq, it’s just not very useful.

Maghreb is also the most bastardized form of Arabic as it borrowed from Berber. Moroccan Arabic, for example, is the hardest Arabic for other speakers to understand. There is also a wide variance between Libya, Tunisia and Algeria (plus these countries aren’t much craic). You’ll get more millage out of learning French for this region instead.

MAYBE LEARN KHALIJI

Khaliji (or Gulf) Arabic may be the ‘purest’ Arabic, but it’s not the most widely understood. Romanian is the ‘purest’ Latin language, but so what? Khaliji is a better  option than learning MSA or Magreb—and you’ll get serious respect for it ( it’s more ‘upper class’)—but there are a few other reasons I wouldn’t recommend Gulf Arabic over the alternatives.

1. English is quite prevalent in the Gulf. Apart from Saudi (the world’s least fun country), the UAE, Oman, Qatar, Kuwait and Bahrain are all easily navigable with English. If you really wanted to converse with a local, they’ll all understand Levantine or Egyptian Arabic anyway.
2. The women are the least sexual. Especially the ones that don’t speak English. The Gulf has the highest rate of virginity before marriage than anywhere in the world— and the one’s that do shag are the one’s that speak English!
3. There is a lack of Khaliji Arabic learning material. Nearly all the material online for learning Arabic online is dedicated to either Egyptian, Levantine, or MSA.

So now the big question:

EGYPTIAN or LEVANTINE? 

Before I give my opinion, I’ll tell why either one of these is a good choice.

1. Egyptian and Lebanese TV and movies are the Arab world’s most popular. As a result, both Levantine and Egyptian are the most understood. 
2. Products like Pimsleur offer decent courses in both versions.
3. 20% of all Arab speakers live in Egypt (80 million) and there are  35 million Levantine speakers—compared with 22 million Khaliji.

And the winner is…

If you are a man, go with Levantine Arabic.

It’s tough to come to this conclusion, as I personally prefer Egyptian. I find it more enjoyable to speak, it’s easier and flows better. However, there are a few reasons why I’m jumping ship to Levantine.

1. Egyptian media is declining in popularity. More Arabs are tuning into Lebanese channels.
2. Egypt sucks. While I’m willing to give the country a second chance, my experiences in the country ranked it among my least favorite countries.
3. Levantine women are better looking, more open minded, and more sexual.
4. Arab women find Levantine Arabic way sexier than Egyptian. I’ve talked to a lot of Arabs chicks about this. Egyptian is often described as ‘funny’ or ‘common’, whereas Lebanese makes their vaginas tingle.
5. Levantine also comes in handy travelling — from Europe to Colombia to Hong Kong  or anywhere else you find Lebanese diaspora. They’re are 14 million diaspora scattered throughout the globe, opening restaurants in your local town to sheesha cafés in deepest Africa.

What Next?

Download Pimsleur Eastern Arabic (it’s actually Syrian), learn the language, and check out my city guides below to plan your next trip.

Beirut City Guide

Damascus City Guide

Amman City Guide

If there are ANY ARAB speakers out there please express YOUR view in the comment section!!!

The Tower of Babel was an enormous tower built in ancient Mesopatamia (mordern day Iraq). According to the biblical myths, the survivors of Great Flood, speaking one language, went on to build the city of Babylon  with the Tower of Babel at it’s centre. They all lived happy ever after.

Well, almost.

That was until the old testament God, Yahweh, being the evil prick he was, decided everyone speaking one language was a stupid idea and decided scatter the Babylonians across the Earth and mix up their languages up for the lolz. T’was the confusion of tongues.

That’s why we have Spanish class – duh!

Creationist nonsense aside, the word Babel is now synonymous with multilingualism.

Recently, Roosh started a thread on his forum asking guys: Are you a Polyglot Player? (A Polyglot is someone who knows several languages.)

He then defined what he called the Language Notch:

This is banging a girl from macking in a foreign language. It’s the hardest metric to attain because you need to learn a new language and then adapt your game to it.

I liked this idea, as me and my crew have always been polyglot players, or  Babylonians as we say. In Rastafari, the term Babylonians also is also employed for evil-doers (like pirates, argh!).

Anyway, whatever you want to call yourself, being an international Casanova who’s loved in many languages is something to aspire to.

Personally, I have four language notches so far. I’ve already gamed women in English, Spanish, French and Russian – all languages I’ve been able to have conversation in.

Aside from that, I’ve also bedded muchas chicas just from being able to drop a few sentences of their local lingua.

I can whip out Mongolian, Swahili, Yuroba, Japanese, Tagalog, Bahasa, Levantine Arabic, Egyptian Arabic, Korean, Mandarin, Fula, Amharic, Thai, Khmer, Ibo, Hindi, and something in nearly every European language.

Often, girls melt at your feet if you know even the basics of their language - especially if it’s one most people have never heard of (start speaking Fula to a Guinean and she’ll jump on you faster than bag of rice!)

My signature move is being able to approach a girl, guess where she is from and start speaking her language. It’s powerful.

Becoming a Babylonian/Polyglot player is the best thing I’ve ever done.

Not only does learning a new language give you value, it also gives you a chance to improve your character. You can work on your speech, your tone and eradicate idiosyncrasies. You can become more sexy.

When I speak Russian, I turn into a badass tough guy. My voice gets deeper and my body language gets more macho.

When I speak Spanish, I turn into a Latin lover. I speak slowly and sensually with more passion.

When I speak Chinese… I sound like an idiot – but hey, you can’t make every language sound sexy!

There are a million reasons to learn a language. Just go for it!

What the best way to begin?

1. Book a flight to country that speaks the language you want to learn.
2. Download Pimsleur and get cracking on a 30 day audio course.
3.  Get on a plane and spit what you’ve learned.

PS  - Happy Paddy’s Day from Dublin!

Acquiring a language is easy! If you learn the fun way

Language also opens a world of possibilities for meeting exotic women!

The problem is the way in which languages are taught in school. That shit is OUTDATED!

Just use the Naughty Nomad method:

Step 1) Pick your language (see Figure 1 below)

Step 2) Pick a country that speaks that language (see Figure 2 below)

Step 3) Book a flight

Step 4) Download a 30-day Pimsleur audio pack (the cheeky way here)

Step 5) Do the 30 minute lessons everyday for a month before you travel

Step 6) Contact some locals  online  during this period

Step 7 ) With a bit of  luck and persistence,  you’ll be abroad taking lessons under cover in no time!

The best way to learn a language is to date a native speaker

Even German sounds sexy in bed!

Look below and take up the challenge!

Five Reasons Dating Abroad is the Best Way to Learn a Language