10 turn-offs for guys
Of course this list will be a little subjective but I think all guys can relate.
Girls, listen up. Here are 10 reasons why you can’t pull decent guy.
1. You’re Fat
Yikes
When you step on the scales it reads “Fuck you!” Guys won’t pick you up if they can’t actually pick you up. Go easy on the pizza. Allah hates fatties.
A decent booty can be sexy, but cankles certainly aren’t.
Personally I like my women under 50 kilos.
Solution?
Hit the gym. Try eating a salad once and awhile. Move to Mauritania.
2. You Can’t Cook
A chick who can’t cook is like a guy who can’t fuck.
I don’t care if you’re a beauty queen and have a masters – if you can’t cook you’re a FAILURE as a women on a primal level.
I don’t want my kids eating processed muck.
Learn how to make a good home cooked meal.
Solution?
Youtube.
3. You have too much body hair
Ahh!
You’re a yeti. You’re vagina looks like Cousin It.
Women shouldn’t have significant body hair below their neck. This goes without saying. A well groomed landing strip is fine, but otherwise nada. Keep your muff in check. Sandpaper thighs, under arm and wild bush are never sexy.
Solution?
Wax. Laser. Shave .
4. You turn off the lights during sex
Most guys don’t mind if you’re a little shy or introverted, but when you’re so insecure about your body that you fear light – you have a problem. Men are visual creatures. Confidence is a turn on, even if you don’t rock a model’s body.
Last year in Seoul, one night I went home with a chick from Newfoundland who insisted the lights be turned off. I remember thinking: What was she hiding? Back acne? A cluster of hemroids around her anus? Between that, a few pints, a condom, and no visible stimulation, I could barely keep a hard on.
The next night I went home with an American girl. She had a face like Jessica Alba, but was plump as hell. That said, she DID keep the lights on and she was super-confident in the sack. Her confidence, above all else, was a massive turn on.
Solution?
Confidence counts. Compromise with candles.
5. You’re a Feminist
You walk like a man.
Traditional feminism promoted suffrage and equal pay. Nobody is complaining. But equality in terms of behaviour is not cool. A lot of women in the West have spent so much time trying to emulate men, they have lost a lot of made them special in the first place. Ironically, modern feminists are the least feminine breed on the planet. Men like women to be women, not men.
Solution?
Grow your hair long, wear a dress and get in some high heels. If you want to get laid, keep your mouth shut.
6. You’re a slut
If you don’t value you sexuality, men won’t either. No guy wants a girl who passed around like a can of Pringles. I personally wouldn’t consider a serious relationship with any girl who’s had more than 10 cocks inside her. The average women on the planet will have two sexual partners in a life-time – factoring in China, India and the like. Am I promoting double standards for men and women? Yes, because we’re different. Men of value (who are pre-selected) want women of value (sexual integrity). It’s simple sociology. You can complain it’s not fair, but we simply don’t give a shit.
Solution?
Lie. If you like the guy, make him work for it and he’ll value you more.
7. You have no real friends
Women’s friendships are usually weaker than men’s. If you’re the type who ditch’s your mates as soon as you start dating a guy, you’re a sap. Men like women who have friends. They take you out, and give us free time to bang other women play. This makes us happy as we fulfil our genetic imperative. When we’re happy in the relationship we keep fucking you, and you get your regular dose of Alpha dick – your genetic imperative. But aside from my unconventional paradigm, it’s good to have friends in your life – for balance.
Solution?
Make time for your girls.
8. You have no interests
You’re boring. I’ve met rocks that were more entertaining.
The amount of women I meet that have zero interests is depressing. Fashion mags, reality shows and and youtube are NOT legitimate hobbies. Read a fucking book. Take a interest in anything. Have one thing you’re passionate about. Men only tolerate boring women long enough to deposit their seed – then they move on.
Solution?
Get a life.
9. You Smell
.
You have bad breath. You fart occasionally. When you take a dump, we want to dump you. Men should never smell a women’s shit. It’s poison for sexual attraction. And bad breath can make the hottest woman in the world unkissable. Men don’t want to be reminded you are human.
Solution?
Always carry gum.
If you really need fart or take a shit, drive half an hour to the nearest restroom. We don’t want to know about it.
10. You’re a Serial Queefer
.
Sex with you is like making love to a whoopee cushion.
I once went to bed with a girl in Moldova. Although sexy, when I went down on her, her pussy started spitting back at me. I’d have let a few blips slide (it happens everyone), but while having sex, every thrust felt like I was plunging a toilet. It was just too much.
To make matters worse, she kept coughing to try and cover it up. Trying to bust a nut with some chick spluttering & queefing is futile.
Solution?
Marry a deaf bloke.
Oh… and
11. Bad Posture… stand up straight ladies!
12. An Aversion to head… you will never sexually satisfy your man.
Guys, feel free to comment and add your biggest turn-offs…
Tags: 10 dating tips for girls, 10 dating tips for women, 10 things women shouldn't do, Dating tips for women, How to find a good man, Mistakes to avoid when dating
Amusing, but true. Although I do find fanny farts [c**t trumps] sort of amusing. I would also add silly games to that list. E.g. when a woman says ‘I’ll come over, but I’m not having sex with you’. Give me a break, tootsie pie. All you do with games like that is force a decent man to relegate you to the ‘immature game player who must be humped and dumped’ list!
Great post, but poor grammar. A little proof reading goes a long way.
Thanks dude. I never proofread, I really got to in the future. I spotted over a dozen mistakes when I read it back.. yikes.
Can I also just add boobs that differ in size [on the same girl] and girls who keep their socks on during sex. The last one seems sort of cute, but is also slightly scary in practice.
Oh and girls who are arsey 24/7…it wasnt ME that didnt buy you that pony. im ranting now,but you get the idea.
ps;hurry up with that book.
I once had a Bulgarian girlfriend who was sexy as hell but had underarm body hair and a hairy landing strip. Damn turn on
I mostly agree and will not disagree. Though a Whoopie Cushion pus*y just means she’s turned on and flows like a river = Good Thing.
Doesn’t happen often enough because to be flat honest morons mistake that for some physical problem with a woman. Calm down its natural.
Where I draw the line with women is sex partners because some people’s confidence is tender.
The top two things that turn off White Men when it comes to asking about sex partners of a woman -
1) Many Partners
2) Black Partners
Most women are going to tell you what you wanna hear or challenge you by telling you exacting what you don’t want to know.
BTW I’m not White, so her partners being Black isn’t an issue but I does bother some non-Black Men…
Facial hair.
Swearing habitually.
Angry/bitchy on a daily basis.
Being Ms. TMI about what you do in the bedroom. Caveat: hinting and playing coy about what you do can be very sexy, but talking about how you squirt and could do DP with just your vagina…
Being Ms. TMI about your vagina in general. I didn’t sign up for the Vagina Monologues, and I’m not interested in your medical history.
Acting like you know everything, when you don’t know anything.
Talking about your sex life in public, Sex and the City style. How your boyfriend doesn’t eat you out enough, how you can’t connect emotionally in bed with him at times, telling your grrlfriend to slut it up.
Slutting it up, while telling your beta male friends to be chivalrous, that sex isn’t that important, that relationships must come before sex, and it’s never okay to go for what you want if the girl doesn’t want to first….
Awesome list bro! I hope every guy reads this and takes note! The reason Im so ecstatic is that I grew up reading Playboy in the 70′s – ever seen the VERY ample curves and bush on those hotties? I had game before it was called that and I’ve seen the evolution in “acceptable” body hair and body types change. So in one fell swoop you’ve turned my newbie competition into judgmental assholes. Makes me look even better – seriously. Don’t get me wrong – you’re spot on about women lacking interests and refinement and no man of quality should accept that but women have enough stupid complexes without us reinforcing them – and making them worse! I’ve stopped counting the amount of women I’ve slept with – fine sexy women – that have been damaged by unrealistic lists and the idiots (both men and women) that follow them. Keep going bro! The more warped that list becomes – mixing the good and the bad – the more ass I’ll be getting!
Plump and confident…not a turn on. If she’s plump i want the lights out. 10 cocks? Anything above 5 is a turn off. And i draw the line at one night stands, but that’s me. Good list though.
What’s always made dating hardest for me is the point that most women have no interests. It’s one of my biggest complaints about women as humans – they’re fucking boring; men look at the stars, women at the mirror, and all that. I simply have nothing to talk about with them. You can do the pickup-artist socially-savvy converse-with-anybody thing during courtship, but in a relationship she needs to be kind of interesting.
Fanny farts arnt really a turn off and theres fuck all a chick can do about it unless she forced herself to try and not be turned on, the girl iv fucked who had the noisiest vag was also the easiest to make cum.
Also if i fuck a black chick thats been with mainly black guys i just see that as a victory for me. However if i was to fuck a chick whos vag was really loose around my cock and complained that my cock didnt satisfy her, now that would get to me, has never happened to me before, but if it did id just go caveman and fuck her in the ass which would make me feel like a man again.
Honestly the thing that pisses me off more than anything else that i dont think you mentioned nomad, is a chick that just isnt that sexual, sees any attempts at experimenting sexually as weird and the idea of anal sex is the worst thing a man could want and if a guy want to fuck a chick in the ass then that must mean hes gay. I call these chicks sexual retards.
Iv never been with a chick this bad, but my friend dated a girl who i will point out was pretty hot but seriously once you knew her as a person, it was like her personality deducted 3 points.
She used to make him wear condoms for blowjobs. Fuck that. Thats just offensive.
Having no or few interests translates to having no passion. Having no passion in life is having no passion in the sack.
The posture thing is hardly ever addressed. It’s a seriously underrated thing. Goes for men and women.
Chicks really can’t help the fact that they have different-shaped or small boobs (save for plastic surgery) and I always bitch about the fact that by working out and taking care of myself, I can improve nearly any part of my body … except my boobs.
Great list, great blog.
Tattoos and smoking are major turn-offs for me.
I do not like multiple piercings, either.
Asian girls who dye or curl their hair look awful.
I really don’t like cock teasers. They walk, talk, and dress like a slut but are impossible to lay.
And one time i’ve been with a girl who said that her condoms didn’t fit her last boyfriend. I was putting one on my dick at that moment. Instant softie.
Haha,great post! However you implied that Chinese women don’t have many partners….mate you’ve obviously never been to China! I was teaching there for 3 months ( Shandong Province ) and the girls are fucking up for it all the time. Most of our students were very promiscuous with local guys and especially with us Laowei whom they find intriguing. Lost count of my lays over there. Only thing is that apart from a small minority they are not the best looking and they speak hardly any intelligible form of English but since they have their mouth full most of the time with cock it hardly matters. They can all cook a blinding post sex stir fry too.
Hilarious post!
It did make me wonder though if you go around weighing the girls you root…
But good job besides