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Kuta City Guide (Bali)

Kuta Beach

Kuta in a word: Party!

Chance of Hooking up: 4.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1 for a bintang.
Bed: €5 for the cheapest private room
Bud: €5 per gram
Board: €2-3 for most meals.
Budget other: Rent a moto and see the real Bali.
Currency Conversion


Some say Bali is too touristy, uninspiring and over-rated. BULLSHIT. Bali is the business (at least for a few days). Beaches, babes and cheap cocktails; what more could you want? Kuta is the island’s premier destination for night-life and it certainly doesn’t disappoint.


The Girls

Miss Bali

Bali is a suburb for women. You have lots of options in terms of ethnic groups, each of which have varying degrees of quality and difficulty. On the lower end of the scale is the drunk Aussie girls; an easy lay perhaps but quality is generally poor. A much better option is cheeky Javanites; promisous Muslims who come to Bali to bask in relative liberalism. Many are drop-dead gorgeous and easy enough to pull. Be wary, some are semi-pros. Then there are the odd Eastern European and Japanese girls, which needless to say, are stunning. They get creeped on constantly, so require a little more effort. Finally there is my pick: local Balinese girls. Beautiful, feminine and eloquent, a Bali girl is for keeps. They don’t screw around and have good values (having children out of wedlock is seriously frowned upon).

Kuta chicks

That said, if they like you they will have no problem being intimate with you. These sweet girls really know how to please a man and their accents will make you melt. If you want to hook up with one I recommend day game as most have day jobs in Kuta. At night, they hang out in groups with their friends. Like most women in the region, they prefer westerners. If I had to marry any girl from South East Asia, she would be either Filipina or Balinese. I hope you find your Bali girl 🙂

Nightlife Recommendations

Kuta has plenty of options in terms of nightlife. More than likely you will find yourself on Jalan Legion, which has the biggest concentration of nightspots. Go to the bounty if you want to hang out with a load of pissed Aussie students. There is a lot of cool bars on Jalan Poppie 2 with live reggae music most nights, a good starting point.


Good crowd, good music. This place provides a good medium between the bounty and the next place I recommend…

Sky Garden

A wee bit seedy, but I love this place. Three stories of sexiness. No matter your taste, this is the place to be if you want to get laid. Both me and my mate had no problem scoring here.

Bali PR girls

Getting High (courtesy of

Nomad’s input: Not worth it, most dealers try to rip you off and sell you absolute muck. Go for some mushrooms!

Legislation: Possession, Sale, and Consumption of Marijuana is Illegal and punishable with prison 10 years prison and the death penalty is given for trafficking.

Law enforcement: The laws are enforced strongly. Police will except bribes, and generally know not to hassle tourists without due cause.

Where to buy marijuana in bali: Head down to Poppies lane in Kuta and walk around the square that area has a high concentration of dealers; also you can hookup from other tourists, particularly Aussie surfer dudes. I suggest u smoke a bit of it first to test it, I couldn’t even manage to score real weed despite the myriad of dealers.

Bali Marijuana prices: Aceh Weed and Nepalese hash 500,000 Rupiah for a good 10 grams, though make sure you bargain you will initially be charged much more and u can get the price down to 350,000 Rupiah. Australian hydro varies, Aussies get better prices than others, though its about 30 USD for a gram, but as I said earlier prices vary greatly ive heard people saying they’ve paid as much as 80 USD for a gram.

My Kuta Experience

After an incredible bike trip around the island, I landed in Kuta for 4 nights. I didn’t even stay my room once. I approached a tight Javanese girl the first night and went back to hers. Earlier the same night, I gave out my number to a cute Balinese beautician (she was only 4’5!). She text me the next day and asked me over to her place. We really clicked. I had a few dates with other girls each day but I just going back to her; it was hard to upgrade. The last night she experienced her first mushrooms. It was my first trip with a women and it was an unforgettable experience. She cried her heart out when I was leaving; I even shed a tear or two. 🙁

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80 Responses to Kuta City Guide (Bali)

  1. vicky January 9, 2011 at 10:52 am #

    coming bali next 14 feb sweet ladies mail me

  2. Nazir Malik March 8, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    U’re the shit, Nomad – u’re the fucking shit!

  3. Ricky March 11, 2011 at 7:41 am #

    you need a reality show…guaranteed hit

  4. Awesome ! May 13, 2011 at 7:19 am #

    I was in bali for 3 nights. I passed out 1st night, but rest of the nights – I scored. 1 indonesian and one scottish !

  5. ashwani September 7, 2011 at 11:57 am #

    i m coming on 8th of oct with 9friends we need good company of girls…………u can mail me on

    • Naughty Nomad September 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm #

      I’m not a pimp man.

  6. Amber September 19, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Ausie girls are not on the lower scale, and our quality is not poor.

    • Col September 29, 2015 at 6:27 am #

      well said Amber, just enough too.. and again to be a real man you need to know to respect a woman.

      • Mark Zolo October 2, 2015 at 12:39 pm #

        REAL MEN know respect is earned, not given.

  7. Dogg November 7, 2011 at 7:17 am #

    Actually, coming from an Australian bloke, they are indeed poor quality.

  8. Ram 24 November 7, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    U know wat i love the most in BALI…DRUNK AUSI GIRLS, who wont stop untill u Fu*k them, then comes the europian girls, the the local hookers…Even though they are cute & tight 😉 they r not safe…Some might try to rob u…Any way bali is still a very safe place…enjoy..

  9. rick November 19, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

    am going to bali next week, any suggestions for a place to hang where it is easy to score a assuie or an east european chic 😉 many thanks

    • Naughty Nomad November 20, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

      bounty nightclub 🙂

      • saadikov August 14, 2014 at 4:22 pm #

        Hi, visiting Bali next month. Will stay at Bounty. Need tips to hook Assie girls. Do they like Asians?

  10. vikas November 30, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

    hiii… we three boys comin to bali on 18th , for 4 nights in kuta ….gals cumon for company ……..

  11. jonny December 1, 2011 at 8:30 am #

    Man… u r a TURIST… the bali the u kknow is absolute crap. get out of kuta man!

    cocktails in bali r sooo expensive… the cheap ones u mention are not cocktail, but local arak shitty mixes, if notmetnanol concentrated.

  12. jenny December 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

    Cheap all european bastard

  13. Russel January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm #

    Kuta isn’t the best place in Bali, even for girls unless you’re a pedophile bastard. You can’t walk the streets at night without hearing “little girl, little girl” at every corner, and there is only fake weed being sold. Ubud or Lovina for instance are much better.

    • F1 Squad April 30, 2014 at 5:10 am #

      Don’t believe the pedo hype. I never heard “little girl” anyplace in Kuta. All I heard was “want lady? want girl?”. If you heard “little”, they didn’t mean ‘child’. In the Indonesian language the word for ‘little’ can also mean ‘pretty’. So it was a case of ‘lost in translation’, the guy not knowing English well enough.

  14. Boom boom February 12, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

    Is Kuta is better than Pattaya?

    • Naughty Nomad February 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm #

      10x better.

  15. rick May 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm #

    am going to bali next week, any suggestions for a place to hang where it is easy to score a assuie or an east european chic 😉 am looking for decent babes and not paid workers pls – with many thanks

    • Naughty Nomad May 10, 2012 at 6:11 pm #

      Go to ‘The Bounty’ nightclub.

  16. rick May 15, 2012 at 8:21 am #

    Thanks Naughty – will post my success or lack of it here 😉 am there for 4 nights so any other options welcum 🙂

  17. paul May 27, 2012 at 3:54 am #

    Re the Balinese women, yes, they are how Nomad says it. Soft skin, soft hair, sexy, devoted, all the good things a man can respond to. And I agree with Nomad re he’d only marry a Balinese or a Filipina. Yes – they are the 2 top choices. The filipinas are very sexy and know how to strut their stuff and have great family values and love a laugh and good food. Balinese girls are very similar although a little more conservative in public. Lovina has a selection of Java girls, and some of them are sweet ladies. They are all looking for a husband. I am a big fan of the general Lovina area and I stay away from Kuta nowadays and I also don’t go out late. I much prefer to be in the arms of a Balinese woman, enjoying her great femininity and touch. I am there soon. If you meet someone you really like get her number and enail and make a point of seeing her often. And give her gifts. They love all that. Best Luck in Bali and show respect to them, as you like to be treated properly as well. It really is Paradise Island. So, go there, behave yourself and be nice to them.

  18. Rick June 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm #

    Feedback time: ijust returned frm Bali after 4 nights..went to Bounty and Nomad was right.. nice place to pick up drunk aussie girls..but i found them a lilttle too loud..i got apprached by javanese women… but always wondered if it was a LB in diguise..but i had a blast.. finally had a massage and the girl wanted to give me a HJ/BJ.. didnt take that either..
    There was a cute Balinis girl working in my hotel lobby.. chatted up with her over a beer and after some time she was in my room

  19. james June 25, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

    hi iam going to bali 0n the 13th july any females like to meet me tall tan green eyes aussie

  20. wayne July 2, 2012 at 9:03 am #

    Hi, i will be heading to Bali on the 20th of july tgt with another 2 friends for 3 days.
    any ladies outta there to have hella of fun. drop me an email at

  21. Aussiehater July 16, 2012 at 6:27 pm #

    BOUNTY IS HORRIBLE ! It’s full op poor Aussie people ! The guys are so poor and ugly … All with Bintand pilsner and flip flops,,, no respect ! They are so ugly they cannot get laid in their own country in Bali they feel like king !!! Poor guys …. Feel sorry for the trash Aussies ! Also the girls …. In my opinion bigger sluts and worse then the local girls ! The Aussies fuck it up for everybody … Show some respect , drink less, and get manners !

    potato H , only good place to go out !!!

    • Kiet November 12, 2014 at 12:44 am #

      I so agreed with u . Poor Aussie and loud no respect

  22. Lovebali August 12, 2012 at 2:05 pm #

    Don t care about the girls can anyone tell me where I can find some real weed in jimbaran am here for the next 4 days
    It s paradise here and a spliff will make it an out of this world experience help nomad help

  23. Hussain August 17, 2012 at 5:52 am #

    I had fun reading all the information that everyone is sharing about bali and thanks to you Nomad for this web ppl could get useful information about there headings.

    Im going to Bali in 2 weeks alone for 10 days, with all the information that is being shared I still would like to ask for those who visited bali, is it easy to find original murjuana or not ?

  24. Mou August 25, 2012 at 2:02 pm #

    Hi Guys , Great info abt Bali !! Special thanks to Nomad who started this blog … i am planning to visit Bali for 2 weeks …. Guys i need few suggestions on few things such as
    1 – where can i hook up wid aussie and other english chics ?
    2 – where can i buy marijuana in Bali ?
    3 – Are mushrooms easily available ?
    4 – How much would a single cheap room cost per day ?
    5 – is Kuta a good place in terms of fun , sex and drugs to stay ?

    • Naughty Nomad August 25, 2012 at 7:52 pm #

      1 – Bounty
      2 – Difficult. Good luck
      3 – Yes, they even have shops!
      4 – 10-20 US, but one or two places are even cheaper
      5 – Great!

  25. NaughtyGypsy August 30, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

    You da maan! respect…!

    Many years ago I met couple of Bali babes in KL, one silky soft milky thick thights… ufffff and that gorgeous derriere with hair nearly as long she was and the other was exact opposite thin petite… after BJ in the cab by thick thigh girl both were in my apartment for the weekend… rest was epic… my first threesome…!

    I went to visit thick thigh girl in Bali few months later… that week was a storm… never thought I’d live my fantasies…but in reality I made several new in that week for rest of my life. This was all many years ago.

    I’m back in Bali next week… though have no idea where that girl will be? Honestly I dont expect to find her… although I’ll go look in her neighbhourhood… she had looks of royality; perhaps now married with some rich dude… and 5 kids too.

    Thanks Nomad, you made me relive some of those wonderful memories again…! and also got me pumped up to look for new talent.

    Bali trip is my 40th birthday gift…!

    Is age a barrier for those beauties? and
    Is it safe to be natural or I’ve to pack trojan caps with me?

    • Naughty Nomad September 1, 2012 at 12:06 am #

      Natural is all right in Indo. It’s very acceptable is have an age gap of twenty years, but it’s nothing like Thailand or the Philippines.

  26. JZ Khan September 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    I am coming to Bali on October 3rd with 6 friends, Any one can tell me where to pick an aussie girl????

  27. fogal November 21, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    that muzzy girl shoulda known better about hookin up with a tourists….prolly wasnt her first time

  28. Lester December 23, 2012 at 1:20 am #

    @Naughty Gypsy
    What does it mean Natural or Trojan Caps?!?!?!?
    does it mean sex without/with condom?!?!

  29. Billeh December 24, 2012 at 12:04 am #

    Fuck im frm indo but i never went to bali instead of moved to canada…
    Really need to go and get some javanese in bali when i come home

  30. tomsy January 12, 2013 at 5:22 pm #

    unreal im going bali in 6 more sleeps so excited but nervous with all media here in australia ive only eva been to cebu first day met the girl of dreams they dont complian if ur nice so glad to here the girls there are the same is it better to book a room b4 i get there or just ask the cab driver nomad or can u recomended a nice place with ac on a budget mate, great post

  31. Matt January 14, 2013 at 2:21 am #

    I just returned yesterday from a week in bali.
    Don’t worry about all the media, they only talk about the bad stuff!!
    Get on a free chatting website called ‘date in asia’, create yr profile and look out!!!…you will have no problem whatsoever meeting beautiful local girls.
    Stay away from the fat white aussie chicks!!!

  32. Matt January 14, 2013 at 2:24 am #

    …..i regards to cheap accomodation, i stayed in a brand new hotel close to the action called ‘POP’.
    Costs about $40 a nite.
    Very clean, modern and basic and evn has a free breakfast.


  33. Danno June 16, 2013 at 10:17 pm #

    Hi there, so what di you think the chances of a 50 year old Aussie scoring some girls, preferably Aussie girl but not fussy. Which is the best area for bars for an older guy? Would Seminyak be better?

    • Naughty Nomad June 17, 2013 at 9:45 pm #


      • jay August 19, 2015 at 5:30 am #

        Where i get girls for sex in kuta ????

        • Raymond August 19, 2015 at 11:47 am #

          BAM !!! straight 2 the point

      • Britt December 23, 2016 at 11:07 pm #

        Hi Naughty Nomad

        My fiancée (very bi!) and I are going to Bali for a week in April… is there any place where we can pull bi girls for us to play with?

  34. MANOJ June 18, 2013 at 7:17 am #


    • Rock December 28, 2014 at 10:05 pm #

      What the fk is with these retarded questions

      • dj ntsck February 11, 2017 at 3:47 am #

        Scott EEEEEEE

  35. Waynos July 9, 2013 at 2:30 am #

    Big tip: head over to Gili Trawangan (3hour boat ride from Bali), you will not regret it. Cheap room/food, great vibe, VERY loose attitude to drugs and impeccable girl/guy ratio. Great place to start collecting flags for Aussie boys that haven’t had a chance to travel much too.

  36. jon July 26, 2013 at 10:59 am #

    hey i’m lookin to get some mushies in kuta and am a bit overwhelmed by the multitude of choices any recommendations?

  37. Peter Wall-Smith August 6, 2013 at 4:44 am #

    Nomad your an idiot for even suggesting buying drugs over there, people have spent months in jail for one pill in Bali!!
    Also when you say the cops will just bribe you, yeah they will but when drugs are involved the bribe is not $10-$20 US or Aus, it is more like $10,000 as they no people will pay not to spend time in their hell hole of a jail!!

    Smarten up ya tosser!!

  38. Benno September 19, 2013 at 5:16 pm #

    I’m 16 and I am staying around poppy lane wondering if I anyone knows a place where I can meet a girl or some girls ;). I am still a Virgin :(. Send me a email if I can help me out?

  39. Mark1 Masur April 24, 2014 at 10:12 pm #

    Hey Nomad, loving your article on Bali – tempting to go!!!!

    In June i’m thinking of either hittin bali OR a few cities around europe (belgrade, budapest, prague). Polar opposites. What do you recommend for just pure fun and getting laid?

    If Bali, you have any tips? Cos I’ll be hitting Solo!


    • Mark1 Masur April 24, 2014 at 10:13 pm #

      Edit: Tips for a guy who’s going solo ..!

  40. Craig J May 18, 2014 at 10:09 pm #

    Hi Man!

    First of all, I just wanna say awesome city guides you have here! I’ll be in Bali in July. I’m not sure whether to meet other backpackers, party up with them or stick to just doing it solo cos ill have more freedom. What do you think bro??

  41. Ravi bronson July 25, 2014 at 4:00 pm #

    Coming to Bali on 11th Sept 2014, looking for some sensible and cool girl to be with for 15 days. Some one who can talk sense, likes adventure sports, enjoys driving around the island and night life. Write to me at

  42. bjohn July 26, 2014 at 6:20 am #

    all the advice is good advice hope to hit bounty,semyank etc. Will update all the guys who want to be trojans and who want have the dream FMF outing Ciao

  43. Riketts July 27, 2014 at 11:28 pm #

    FUCK drugs I’m there 2 bang tight wet asian pussy =)

  44. Sasha August 17, 2014 at 9:24 am #

    Any tips on where to pick up nice guys? Will be in Bali for a week… I do not wish to be hounded by kuta cowboys again .. I just want to sit in the sun and get high on shrooms or beer .. i will bring my own trojan caps .. 🙂 Happy holidays

    • Tyler August 28, 2014 at 9:14 am #

      Yea 2 Aussie guys will be their 8th September

    • sandesh August 29, 2014 at 11:30 am #

      Hey Sasha
      Are you still in Bali or around ?

    • james September 15, 2014 at 8:07 am #

      Dear Sasha when you will be at Bali?

  45. sumit November 20, 2014 at 6:40 am #

    hello,i ma sumit i am going bali next week.
    i want to hooks aussi girls and japanese girls
    so please some one tell me these girls stay with me for full time
    and where did i get them ?
    which is the nice place to stay in bali
    i am single and going for having fun, sex and party,
    please help me?

  46. Eli November 26, 2014 at 1:56 am #

    I am from canada and I lived in Bali for 3 years. If you are surfer like me, you will get some hot chicks there. but use condoms. They say upto 30 percent of working girls (who might Fuck you for free if you are good looking with six packs etc. ) have AIDS. So be careful

  47. Jammy January 28, 2015 at 6:57 am #

    Hi I am Indian expat from Malaysia where can I find Aussie women in Bali and is that easy to get Aussie over in bali

  48. Macaco May 10, 2015 at 12:42 pm #

    Im banging mixed aussie and estonian as I wrIte this. Bali is where it all happens

  49. vaaav kool May 14, 2015 at 1:40 pm #

    i m traveling to bali 0n 19th june for a week…putting up at semniyak..
    interested where to find safe n hot girls??

  50. Moto May 29, 2015 at 12:23 pm #

    My hot wife and I are traveling to Bali — 10 days scuba diving on a boat, and the rest in Jimbaran. She’s bi . . . 🙂 Where’s a good place to pick up girls to join us? What is the attitude of Balinese girls to that? (I assume drunk Aussies are usually game, LOL!)

  51. Ben September 29, 2015 at 6:39 am #

    interesting, cant figure out the facts, anyway I need a break so heading down to kuta for a week from Melbourne, not sure what to expect, I am in my late 40’s so not sure if I can attract ladies 🙂 but never know, any suggestions guys? 🙂 🙂 🙂 wish me luck.. lol and hey guys, just a thought lets show a bit of respect for woman, no matter where they come from, most of us have sis and mothers too don’t we?

  52. Frank October 5, 2015 at 9:38 am #

    Nomad & the rest, u the man. Probably the most interesting blog have ever read….i love it all the way eh

    Any suggestions on free dating websites to hook up with aussie women & girls besides oasis? ….several choices if possible pls

  53. Sanjaya November 13, 2015 at 8:31 pm #

    nice info, need more info just contact us!

  54. Connor November 17, 2015 at 11:00 pm #

    Bali is a great place without having to worry about getting a wet dick constantly, despite almost everyone thinking about it constantly (can get annoying walking around when they keep asking)

    Ive been coming here for many years and every year it seems to slide downhill more and more with the dangerous side of life. I wouldnt really try to get bud unless you have at least $200 to bribe off Police as MANY people are linked with them. They also sell a lot of synthetic shit that looks like shat out cabbage with white spider eggs in it. Shroom shakes are nice, unless you are a junkie as you can get gear pretty easily at night. Just be careful when walking around on anything as its very busy… And if you are beered up, geared up or tripping balls, it can give you a false sense of security.

    Ive found the best place to keep your wallet is in your undies over your dick (no homo).

    The kids here can also try to rob you, ive had them feel up my pockets and ass just to try find it. They sell those crappy wrist bands… one tries to sell and the rest scope and stalk you. these are kids and they do this.

    Kuta… very busy. lots of Australians – not that i have a issue with that but being one myself I know some can be big headed and therefore some locals like to pick us out as targets. Its not Just Australians though, My french friend and I got mobbed because we “had no money” when we were going for a nightwalk.

    That was by a random hotel security… but the more i think about it, I think it might be the local crime syndicate (mafia). That does exist. And they like to do it for fun. Call me a sook or what you will – I Just want to make sure anyone who reads this keeps their wits about them. Im currently over here now and every night I have seen something dodgy happen in either Kuta, Seminyak, Legian and even the quiet Sanur.

    If you want an easy root, $10-$30 AUD will do the trick depending on your taste of course. Same note, with everyone at the bars and clubs drinking $2 Bintang or $3.50 Smirmoff Ices, You have a good chance. Dont be the seedy prick though, bouncers will sort you out if you fuck around. Especially if you try with a dancer or stripper. If you want one of them, speak nicely and buy them a drink. AND DO NOT PUT YOURS DOWN – they like to spike drinks for the fun of it. They can spike you and lead you somewhere and take all you have. Including you shoes and pants if you’re unlucky. Again, say what you want about me, Ive been here many many times and I think I have a decent opinion.

    Lovely country, check out the surrounding Islands like Lombok though, Its like Bali 15 years ago before it got busy. Also amazing snorkelling/Diving. If you are into fishing you will have zero luck off of the shore as they pillage the sea. Hit up a charter and catch some sword fish or mahi mahi. Shouldnt cost more than $40 for all day.

    Almost everyone Ive spoken to likes you to “add on facebook”. Ive found this has been a GREAT way to get discounts off an already super cheap holiday. Especially if you bring friends or return to them – even sending them an occasional message when you get home means a lot to them, some have a crazy good memory and can remember you from last year and beyond. Every time I go down to Kuta Beach this one beach bar calls me in and gives me “good price!” on beer – anddddd for $3 they will go get you an awesome Nasi Goreng (firend rice/vegies etc) which hits the spot.

    In Seminyak I have been staying in “Private Villas” which is essentially a private house with 3-5 or so different houses in the same complex. Tbh swinger heaven with the private pools and sensual indoor/outdoor bathrooms. 24/7 security too which is great. SOME can get bud as well – despite me being against it before! but hey, when you have to stay up all night with a mate looking after drunk tourist… why not right?

    When walking around at night be very careful of who you speak too. Ive found if you carry a Bintang around and a bottle opener they leave you alone (still ask you for Jiggy-Jig (sexxx)) but its nice to feel wanted – especially by two ladies at the same time XD Word of warning! Ask if they are female… awkward stories about lady boys that looked legit like a gorgeous indo… till “she” whipped it out. They let you have a feel though which is great haha

    If you are into site seeing than there is some amazing places to see. You can hire a private driver that will take you anywhere you want for around $50 – less if you know how to barter. That is a great skill to have over here, especially if you are a newbie. They can pick you out and try charge higher prices if they think you are new here. Learning basic indo is a very great way to avoid this. If you can turn they down in their own language they generally wont hassle you again – Be “polite” about it especially in market places such as Kuta Or Legian as they will talk to one another about that rude person who abused them.

    For anyone new to Bali, Kuta is the busy area but good for shopping for your general “bali crap”. Its been getting busier and busier every year though, and somewhat more.. dangerous. If you are with friends though Id say its fine, but walking on your own especially down some streets is a good way to get singled out and even mobbed. Sadly I speak from experience but hey, im still here and im gonna come back regardless.

    Legian is to the left of Kuta and is lightly less busy, and still within walking distance to good pubs and clubs. Ive found this is a prime spot if you are into Japanese or Korean Ladies!

    Seminyak is left of Legian and Is slightly more expensive than the rest. Only by a dollar or two but you know what I mean. There is “Gay bars” here and many Lady Boys. They can be very unpredictable and even dangerous. They can carry weapons such as knives. I guess fair enough. If you want to Impress on “Ciao Bella” works wonders.They can be very good people if you aren’t a judgmental against them. Bottoms Up is a great name for a “gay bar” and also the staff dress up and put on a pretty good show if you are into watching something a little different. But Id suggest going with a friend as when i went on my own… wow – so many older guys calling you over, buying you drinks (make the most of that one!) and just.. yeaaaaah. But hey, if that’s up your alley no judging. Frankenstein restaurant is an extremely different place

    Sanur is on the other side of the bottom tip of the island, Its very quiet over that way so if you are after relaxation time I would Highly suggest it.
    Peneeda View is a good reasonably priced hotel with 3 swimming pools. Its good for being alone or with family as the lay out is decent. Id suggest Hiring a push bike for $3 a day so you can ride around the area fast. Plus people leave you alone more if you are riding. Of course you can do this in all the other areas but this place is the best for it thanks to the bike path out the front. Even though this place is “quiet” I still would advice caution when walking around here even with a friend. There has been some suss things over there recently. Word on the street is “old men go there for child”. So In saying that, the mob does have a hand in that bullcrap. Best Advice is during the day when you are strolling around be polite and say hello to the security guards at the various hotels as they can help you out if the water starts to boil. They are far more reliable than the police. Id highy recommend the resturant called “Coriander” just over the other side of Peneeda View. Very good priced food, good staff and great food. If you want to get in anyones good books, after your meal tell the waiter “Enna Skully” (yes i Know that is spelt wrong but you know haha). It essentially means Good/Great food and it will make their day, especially if you are a returning customer. Of course you dont have take my word for it but compliments do wonders. Just like being polite – dont mean to go on about that of course but it does annoy me to see “Rude Westerners”. Its not just Australians, Its Germans, French and Americans etc. Thats what causes the negative crap, So try do the right thing (Bintangs willing! XD)

    Jimbaran Bay is where the seafood is at. Lobsters, Swordfish, Mahi Mahi, squid, Salmon, cutlefish, prawns.. you get the picture! Recently the quality of seafood has gone up (use to never want to touch it unless you love hugging the toilet for 2-3 days (yay Bali Belly!) but the pricing is still slightly high. Still better than back home (unless you fish for a living), but youre on holiday so its worth a shot =) Also its nice to stroll along the beaches and take in the sun!

    If you are a surfer, then there are many many many places for you to check out. Get a guide for the day and bring your board along – or hire one! Bear in mind many breaks are over reefs or rock beds so try your best not to end up hitting the bottom! My Mate had a thick wetsuit on and he still tore it open on his ass and then he got a large flared infection that made everything hard. Was funny to watch but… haha I payed a local 50,000 Rp (~$5) and he took me out on his jetski to breaks i couldnt be bothered paddling too and he even hung around till I was done. The surfy guys can be very kind people and once you get to know them they do look out for you. I will admit though SOME are protective of their areas so aslong as you treat them and the place with respect, everything should be fine. I guess thats just common sense though right? Surf locations have good little places to get food and cold beer, they know what we want! “bloody cold bintang!” and cheap food.

    Again, be cautious when looking for bud as you can end up in jail or worse. Persoanlly I dont bother with it here as the alcohol is cheap, and there are alternatives. Even if the person seems trustworthy… They can Liaise with police to set you up in order to get a bride out of you, or just to wreck your holiday. This isnt always the case but you must be aware of this. If you want headspin or something like that just by a strong pack of smokes for $3 to have after a few beers. Or be hardcore and risk that suss synthetic… haha
    Some people might want gear, so even though im not into it myself – others may be, so if thats the case walking around at night time and speaking to either Prosties or random guys on the street. If they say “magic Mushroom” straight away, id probably stay away, unless you have a good exit route planned down the alley way and over that fence. Taxi Drives can also be very good contacts, Ive met one who can deliver what I want because we talk on facebook occasionally when im not here, talk about his family and tip him accordingly (that works very well! if your taxi fare is 35,000 Rp, give them a 50,000 and let them keep the change. Im sure a dollar or two is worth a good contact right? Each to their own if that offends any of you by me saying that.

    Bali is a great place but everywhere has its good and bad. Money does crazy things to people so dont get sucked in.

    If you plan to ride a scooter, I do suggest getting an international Drivers license as the police are “western hunters” and unfortunately do pick on people. If you have the license and wear a helmet, your chances of a fine or having to pay a bribe is reduced. It use to be $20 or so but ive heard some ask for $200 or more and if you dont pay you could end up in the cop shop paying more.

    My friend had his phone stolen by a local here whilst walking around, we thought the right thing to do was to go to the cop shop and report it as your insurance company my say to do. Sadly it just cost us $100 AUD cash for him to sit around and do jack shit. In this case, what can you do about it? Not much. If this happens to you its better off just waiting till you are home to sort it out by saying it was stolen. Travel insurance is important as well especially if you did have an accident, its better to safe than sorry right? it can vary depending on your age and the length of time you are staying. Id say at least $50 for it… if you cant afford it -don’t go! The hospital bills are expensive and you need to pay up.

    Mosquitos are annoying too but with some personal spray and a big bottle of raid for like $2 to blitz your room before you go out. Ive never had many issues with them till this time, all of the bites are flaring and if you arent careful you can get very sick by infection. Buy some Betadine and even Pawpaw cream as a sealer. Dont let sand or dirty get in it as you are almost promised a nasty yellow pussy mess. Sorry if thats too Vile, better you find out now right? The local dogs can also be iffy, some are great mates and can follow you around all night when drinking, but others have a pack mentality and they can get their friends to come quickly if threatened. Being a dog person ive found being nice to them is the best way to deal with it but do as you want. Ive never had any nip or bite me but you never know. Also cats here are weird, they hide from you and watch you for some reason. Gonna guess they have a hard life over here.

    Over here the main thing I like to drink is bottled alcohol such as Bintang, Bali Hai or Smirmoffs. If you are out try your best to watch them opening it, most people do it infront of you but some places are… more suss. As for cocktails and spirits, best advice to to avoid the local Arak spirit. It tastes like vinegar and admitted it is nice… but many can get violent on it and as we all know some have died from it. Its made in shitty backrooms and legit gets delivered plastic bags or other dodgy bottles (say used vodka bottles).
    I use to work as a distiller at a distillery so I know the dangers of the methanol as it is very dangerous. What they can do is;
    instead of taking the top layer off (say with Whisky methanol is one of the very first portions that comes off).
    In Whisky it is recycled through the still again as it does have nice fruity flavor compounds, but if you forget to take it off the top.. Its all over red rover. If it doesn’t fry your brain, your organs have a high chance of failing.
    I have had it before but only because locals were drinking it first and after a hour they hadn’t died, so I guess it was okay! Hate me all you want for saying that xD But, the scary thing about it though, I started to loose feeling in my arms and chest. Tested the theory by being shot repeatly with a shotgun bee-bee gun on my nipple (great idea I know!) and couldnt feel a thing. If you havnt been shot by one of those suckers over here… They hurt -.-
    Also they are worth about 50,000-70,000 Rp with bullets, if you are a child inside you will love the pump action bee-bee guns, or even a uzi style for the same price – good fun!

    Some Locals have also been known to pick out individuals, a new one i’ve heard about is some dodgy people who hang out the front of Circle k’s or other 24hour shops. Some are fine, But Ive heard that they can “shout” you drinks as there friend runs the shop or they just have money. After speaking to a few people here (taxi drivers, security or waiters etc) they have all said the same thing. Call it coincidence or bullshit, anyways, they can be linked with mafia or just their to put a pill in your drink. I know you might think thats stupid, but once you are legless, they can mob you and also take your shit. So just a heads up on that one.

    Also, a great game to play with your mates if you are heading out is called “24houry”. Stop in at every 24 along the way, grab a “roady” (Bintang or Smirmoff works well!) and see how you go drinking it before you get to the next one. If A mate starts to stock pile drinks, they arent playing it right! haha
    This is a good way to get pre-Drinks sorted, but make sure you clealry have enough money to keep the party going later! XD

    And another thing, Kuta does have lots of younger people so really if you are keen on taking advantage of wasted juvies for a one night stand… You probably should find yourself a partner and jog on. I dont care what you think of that, Maybe its a respect thing. Fucking people over is a dick move. Its not that hard to have a good time without being a deviant just for a quick root.
    Of course not everyone is young there but its getting that way, considering most of you people are/were commenting around schoolies time. Im here with friends and from w we keep seeing its getting worse for it.

    Now, sorry if I dragged this on a bit, I do hope that the Random bits of information and basic guidelines i have given can help someone.

    if anyone wants anything more details feel free to ask. I will gladly give whatever advice or help I can =)

    • Majed March 10, 2016 at 5:54 pm #

      Thanks a lot!! Great needed info.

  55. Edward McCormack December 21, 2015 at 8:05 am #

    Loved it. Some really good points in there. Thanks for taking the time to write it

  56. The Game April 15, 2016 at 11:13 am #


    I am planning on visiting Bali in June for 2 weeks. By the sounds of it Kuta is the place to be for “fun”. Any recommendations where the Single Ladies prefer to stay ? I am planning kuta/seminyak/legian for 4 nights. Will then travel to Ubud for the much needed spiritual healing. Thinking of staying there for 6 nights. I ll be coming back to Seminyak as I have a wedding there to attend for 2 nights.

    Please let me know of options



  57. tyrion of GOT August 13, 2016 at 1:47 am #

    The Balinese people are the nicest and friendliest people that I’ve met in Southeast Asia. They’re inquisitive, helpful and incredibly polite. They’re gentle. They’re intensely family-oriented. Their spiritual beliefs shape their lives, and many aspects of their lifestyle haven’t changed in centuries.

    So to see the home of such wonderful people turned into a disgusting tourist ghetto really saddened me. I do know that this environment brings in jobs and revenue to many Balinese people, but it upsets me nonetheless. Why here? Why Bali?

  58. NoKuta September 14, 2016 at 11:24 pm #

    The realities of Bali – Kuta: It’s not so easy to get “drunk Aussie chicks” as they say. You have to be young and hanging out with friends in order to get lucky. And, by the way, most of the young Aussie women visiting Bali are only looking for young Aussie or European men. Not Asians, nor older westerners. The only reliable way for older or Asian men to meet Australian women is to actually go to Australia (try Brisbane/Gold Coast).

    The Bounty was a bust when I was there, practically deserted. The streets and other clubs had more action.

    Don’t stay at hotels on Legian, too noisy and overpriced. If you must stay in Kuta try to find a hotel east of Jl. Legian.

    Avoid most restaurants in Kuta, the locals warned me against them. And never buy any souvenirs in Kuta, especially avoid the shops on Poppies I, total ripoff, vastly overpriced.

    Do you shopping and eating OUTSIDE of Kuta. Find a motorcycle driver who seems trustworthy to take you to the stores and restaurants just outside of Kuta, they aren´t far (some are in walking distance)

    The Bali taxi drivers were often less trustworthy than the motorcycle drivers. They are more likely to try to overcharge or to set you up.

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