Kuta City Guide (Bali)

Kuta Beach

Kuta in a word: Party!

Chance of Hooking up: 4.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1 for a bintang.
Bed: €5 for the cheapest private room
Bud: €5 per gram
Board: €2-3 for most meals.
Budget other: Rent a moto and see the real Bali.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Some say Bali is too touristy, uninspiring and over-rated. BULLSHIT. Bali is the business (at least for a few days). Beaches, babes and cheap cocktails; what more could you want? Kuta is the island’s premier destination for night-life and it certainly doesn’t disappoint.

 

The Girls

Miss Bali

Bali is a suburb for women. You have lots of options in terms of ethnic groups, each of which have varying degrees of quality and difficulty. On the lower end of the scale is the drunk Aussie girls; an easy lay perhaps but quality is generally poor. A much better option is cheeky Javanites; promisous Muslims who come to Bali to bask in relative liberalism. Many are drop-dead gorgeous and easy enough to pull. Be wary, some are semi-pros. Then there are the odd Eastern European and Japanese girls, which needless to say, are stunning. They get creeped on constantly, so require a little more effort. Finally there is my pick: local Balinese girls. Beautiful, feminine and eloquent, a Bali girl is for keeps. They don’t screw around and have good values (having children out of wedlock is seriously frowned upon).

Kuta chicks

That said, if they like you they will have no problem being intimate with you. These sweet girls really know how to please a man and their accents will make you melt. If you want to hook up with one I recommend day game as most have day jobs in Kuta. At night, they hang out in groups with their friends. Like most women in the region, they prefer westerners. If I had to marry any girl from South East Asia, she would be either Filipina or Balinese. I hope you find your Bali girl :)

Nightlife Recommendations

Kuta has plenty of options in terms of nightlife. More than likely you will find yourself on Jalan Legion, which has the biggest concentration of nightspots. Go to the bounty if you want to hang out with a load of pissed Aussie students. There is a lot of cool bars on Jalan Poppie 2 with live reggae music most nights, a good starting point.

M-bar-go

Good crowd, good music. This place provides a good medium between the bounty and the next place I recommend…

Sky Garden

A wee bit seedy, but I love this place. Three stories of sexiness. No matter your taste, this is the place to be if you want to get laid. Both me and my mate had no problem scoring here.

Bali PR girls

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s input: Not worth it, most dealers try to rip you off and sell you absolute muck. Go for some mushrooms!

Legislation: Possession, Sale, and Consumption of Marijuana is Illegal and punishable with prison 10 years prison and the death penalty is given for trafficking.

Law enforcement: The laws are enforced strongly. Police will except bribes, and generally know not to hassle tourists without due cause.

Where to buy marijuana in bali: Head down to Poppies lane in Kuta and walk around the square that area has a high concentration of dealers; also you can hookup from other tourists, particularly Aussie surfer dudes. I suggest u smoke a bit of it first to test it, I couldn’t even manage to score real weed despite the myriad of dealers.

Bali Marijuana prices: Aceh Weed and Nepalese hash 500,000 Rupiah for a good 10 grams, though make sure you bargain you will initially be charged much more and u can get the price down to 350,000 Rupiah. Australian hydro varies, Aussies get better prices than others, though its about 30 USD for a gram, but as I said earlier prices vary greatly ive heard people saying they’ve paid as much as 80 USD for a gram.

My Kuta Experience

After an incredible bike trip around the island, I landed in Kuta for 4 nights. I didn’t even stay my room once. I approached a tight Javanese girl the first night and went back to hers. Earlier the same night, I gave out my number to a cute Balinese beautician (she was only 4’5!). She text me the next day and asked me over to her place. We really clicked. I had a few dates with other girls each day but I just going back to her; it was hard to upgrade. The last night she experienced her first mushrooms. It was my first trip with a women and it was an unforgettable experience. She cried her heart out when I was leaving; I even shed a tear or two. :(

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57 Responses to Kuta City Guide (Bali)

  1. vicky January 9, 2011 at 10:52 am #

    coming bali next 14 feb sweet ladies mail me sumitrathore@live.com

  2. Nazir Malik March 8, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    U’re the shit, Nomad – u’re the fucking shit!

  3. Ricky March 11, 2011 at 7:41 am #

    you need a reality show…guaranteed hit

  4. Awesome ! May 13, 2011 at 7:19 am #

    I was in bali for 3 nights. I passed out 1st night, but rest of the nights – I scored. 1 indonesian and one scottish !

  5. ashwani September 7, 2011 at 11:57 am #

    i m coming on 8th of oct with 9friends we need good company of girls…………u can mail me on dr.love_india@hotmail.com

    • Naughty Nomad September 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm #

      I’m not a pimp man.

  6. Amber September 19, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Ausie girls are not on the lower scale, and our quality is not poor.

  7. Dogg November 7, 2011 at 7:17 am #

    @Amber
    Actually, coming from an Australian bloke, they are indeed poor quality.

  8. Ram 24 November 7, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    U know wat i love the most in BALI…DRUNK AUSI GIRLS, who wont stop untill u Fu*k them, then comes the europian girls, the the local hookers…Even though they are cute & tight ;-) they r not safe…Some might try to rob u…Any way bali is still a very safe place…enjoy..

  9. rick November 19, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

    am going to bali next week, any suggestions for a place to hang where it is easy to score a assuie or an east european chic ;) many thanks

    • Naughty Nomad November 20, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

      bounty nightclub :)

      • saadikov August 14, 2014 at 4:22 pm #

        Hi, visiting Bali next month. Will stay at Bounty. Need tips to hook Assie girls. Do they like Asians?

  10. vikas November 30, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

    hiii… we three boys comin to bali on 18th , for 4 nights in kuta ….gals cumon for company ……..

  11. jonny December 1, 2011 at 8:30 am #

    Man… u r a TURIST… the bali the u kknow is absolute crap. get out of kuta man!

    cocktails in bali r sooo expensive… the cheap ones u mention are not cocktail, but local arak shitty mixes, if notmetnanol concentrated.

  12. jenny December 18, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

    Cheap all european bastard

  13. Russel January 24, 2012 at 10:08 pm #

    Kuta isn’t the best place in Bali, even for girls unless you’re a pedophile bastard. You can’t walk the streets at night without hearing “little girl, little girl” at every corner, and there is only fake weed being sold. Ubud or Lovina for instance are much better.

    • F1 Squad April 30, 2014 at 5:10 am #

      Don’t believe the pedo hype. I never heard “little girl” anyplace in Kuta. All I heard was “want lady? want girl?”. If you heard “little”, they didn’t mean ‘child’. In the Indonesian language the word for ‘little’ can also mean ‘pretty’. So it was a case of ‘lost in translation’, the guy not knowing English well enough.

  14. Boom boom February 12, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

    Is Kuta is better than Pattaya?

    • Naughty Nomad February 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm #

      10x better.

  15. rick May 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm #

    am going to bali next week, any suggestions for a place to hang where it is easy to score a assuie or an east european chic ;) am looking for decent babes and not paid workers pls – with many thanks

    • Naughty Nomad May 10, 2012 at 6:11 pm #

      Go to ‘The Bounty’ nightclub.

  16. rick May 15, 2012 at 8:21 am #

    Thanks Naughty – will post my success or lack of it here ;) am there for 4 nights so any other options welcum :)

  17. paul May 27, 2012 at 3:54 am #

    Re the Balinese women, yes, they are how Nomad says it. Soft skin, soft hair, sexy, devoted, all the good things a man can respond to. And I agree with Nomad re he’d only marry a Balinese or a Filipina. Yes – they are the 2 top choices. The filipinas are very sexy and know how to strut their stuff and have great family values and love a laugh and good food. Balinese girls are very similar although a little more conservative in public. Lovina has a selection of Java girls, and some of them are sweet ladies. They are all looking for a husband. I am a big fan of the general Lovina area and I stay away from Kuta nowadays and I also don’t go out late. I much prefer to be in the arms of a Balinese woman, enjoying her great femininity and touch. I am there soon. If you meet someone you really like get her number and enail and make a point of seeing her often. And give her gifts. They love all that. Best Luck in Bali and show respect to them, as you like to be treated properly as well. It really is Paradise Island. So, go there, behave yourself and be nice to them.

  18. Rick June 10, 2012 at 3:08 pm #

    Feedback time: ijust returned frm Bali after 4 nights..went to Bounty and Nomad was right.. nice place to pick up drunk aussie girls..but i found them a lilttle too loud..i got apprached by javanese women… but always wondered if it was a LB in diguise..but i had a blast.. finally had a massage and the girl wanted to give me a HJ/BJ.. didnt take that either..
    There was a cute Balinis girl working in my hotel lobby.. chatted up with her over a beer and after some time she was in my room

  19. james June 25, 2012 at 12:56 pm #

    hi iam going to bali 0n the 13th july any females like to meet me tall tan green eyes aussie

  20. wayne July 2, 2012 at 9:03 am #

    Hi, i will be heading to Bali on the 20th of july tgt with another 2 friends for 3 days.
    any ladies outta there to have hella of fun. drop me an email at gnais-@hotmail.com

  21. Aussiehater July 16, 2012 at 6:27 pm #

    BOUNTY IS HORRIBLE ! It’s full op poor Aussie people ! The guys are so poor and ugly … All with Bintand pilsner and flip flops,,, no respect ! They are so ugly they cannot get laid in their own country in Bali they feel like king !!! Poor guys …. Feel sorry for the trash Aussies ! Also the girls …. In my opinion bigger sluts and worse then the local girls ! The Aussies fuck it up for everybody … Show some respect , drink less, and get manners !

    potato H , only good place to go out !!!

  22. Lovebali August 12, 2012 at 2:05 pm #

    Don t care about the girls can anyone tell me where I can find some real weed in jimbaran am here for the next 4 days
    It s paradise here and a spliff will make it an out of this world experience help nomad help

  23. Hussain August 17, 2012 at 5:52 am #

    I had fun reading all the information that everyone is sharing about bali and thanks to you Nomad for this web ppl could get useful information about there headings.

    Im going to Bali in 2 weeks alone for 10 days, with all the information that is being shared I still would like to ask for those who visited bali, is it easy to find original murjuana or not ?

  24. Mou August 25, 2012 at 2:02 pm #

    Hi Guys , Great info abt Bali !! Special thanks to Nomad who started this blog … i am planning to visit Bali for 2 weeks …. Guys i need few suggestions on few things such as
    1 – where can i hook up wid aussie and other english chics ?
    2 – where can i buy marijuana in Bali ?
    3 – Are mushrooms easily available ?
    4 – How much would a single cheap room cost per day ?
    5 – is Kuta a good place in terms of fun , sex and drugs to stay ?

    • Naughty Nomad August 25, 2012 at 7:52 pm #

      1 – Bounty
      2 – Difficult. Good luck
      3 – Yes, they even have shops!
      4 – 10-20 US, but one or two places are even cheaper
      5 – Great!

  25. NaughtyGypsy August 30, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

    @Nomad!
    You da maan! respect…!

    Many years ago I met couple of Bali babes in KL, one silky soft milky thick thights… ufffff and that gorgeous derriere with hair nearly as long she was and the other was exact opposite thin petite… after BJ in the cab by thick thigh girl both were in my apartment for the weekend… rest was epic… my first threesome…!

    I went to visit thick thigh girl in Bali few months later… that week was a storm… never thought I’d live my fantasies…but in reality I made several new in that week for rest of my life. This was all many years ago.

    I’m back in Bali next week… though have no idea where that girl will be? Honestly I dont expect to find her… although I’ll go look in her neighbhourhood… she had looks of royality; perhaps now married with some rich dude… and 5 kids too.

    Thanks Nomad, you made me relive some of those wonderful memories again…! and also got me pumped up to look for new talent.

    Bali trip is my 40th birthday gift…!

    @Nomad,
    Is age a barrier for those beauties? and
    Is it safe to be natural or I’ve to pack trojan caps with me?

    • Naughty Nomad September 1, 2012 at 12:06 am #

      Natural is all right in Indo. It’s very acceptable is have an age gap of twenty years, but it’s nothing like Thailand or the Philippines.

  26. JZ Khan September 26, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    I am coming to Bali on October 3rd with 6 friends, Any one can tell me where to pick an aussie girl????

  27. fogal November 21, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    that muzzy girl shoulda known better about hookin up with a tourists….prolly wasnt her first time

  28. Lester December 23, 2012 at 1:20 am #

    @Naughty Gypsy
    What does it mean Natural or Trojan Caps?!?!?!?
    does it mean sex without/with condom?!?!

  29. Billeh December 24, 2012 at 12:04 am #

    Fuck im frm indo but i never went to bali instead of moved to canada…
    Really need to go and get some javanese in bali when i come home

  30. tomsy January 12, 2013 at 5:22 pm #

    unreal im going bali in 6 more sleeps so excited but nervous with all media here in australia ive only eva been to cebu first day met the girl of dreams they dont complian if ur nice so glad to here the girls there are the same is it better to book a room b4 i get there or just ask the cab driver nomad or can u recomended a nice place with ac on a budget mate, great post

  31. Matt January 14, 2013 at 2:21 am #

    I just returned yesterday from a week in bali.
    Don’t worry about all the media, they only talk about the bad stuff!!
    Get on a free chatting website called ‘date in asia’, create yr profile and look out!!!…you will have no problem whatsoever meeting beautiful local girls.
    Stay away from the fat white aussie chicks!!!

  32. Matt January 14, 2013 at 2:24 am #

    …..i regards to cheap accomodation, i stayed in a brand new hotel close to the action called ‘POP’.
    Costs about $40 a nite.
    Very clean, modern and basic and evn has a free breakfast.

    Enjoy…..

  33. Danno June 16, 2013 at 10:17 pm #

    Hi there, so what di you think the chances of a 50 year old Aussie scoring some girls, preferably Aussie girl but not fussy. Which is the best area for bars for an older guy? Would Seminyak be better?

    • Naughty Nomad June 17, 2013 at 9:45 pm #

      Probably.

  34. MANOJ June 18, 2013 at 7:17 am #

    WHERE CAN BE GET SAFE AND NO RISK GIRLS FOR MASSAGE AND SEX IN KUTA?

  35. Waynos July 9, 2013 at 2:30 am #

    Big tip: head over to Gili Trawangan (3hour boat ride from Bali), you will not regret it. Cheap room/food, great vibe, VERY loose attitude to drugs and impeccable girl/guy ratio. Great place to start collecting flags for Aussie boys that haven’t had a chance to travel much too.

  36. jon July 26, 2013 at 10:59 am #

    hey i’m lookin to get some mushies in kuta and am a bit overwhelmed by the multitude of choices any recommendations?

  37. Peter Wall-Smith August 6, 2013 at 4:44 am #

    Nomad your an idiot for even suggesting buying drugs over there, people have spent months in jail for one pill in Bali!!
    Also when you say the cops will just bribe you, yeah they will but when drugs are involved the bribe is not $10-$20 US or Aus, it is more like $10,000 as they no people will pay not to spend time in their hell hole of a jail!!

    Smarten up ya tosser!!

  38. Benno September 19, 2013 at 5:16 pm #

    I’m 16 and I am staying around poppy lane wondering if I anyone knows a place where I can meet a girl or some girls ;). I am still a Virgin :(. Send me a email if I can help me out?

    Statiik_clan@hotmail.com

  39. Mark1 Masur April 24, 2014 at 10:12 pm #

    Hey Nomad, loving your article on Bali – tempting to go!!!!

    In June i’m thinking of either hittin bali OR a few cities around europe (belgrade, budapest, prague). Polar opposites. What do you recommend for just pure fun and getting laid?

    If Bali, you have any tips? Cos I’ll be hitting Solo!

    Mark1

    • Mark1 Masur April 24, 2014 at 10:13 pm #

      Edit: Tips for a guy who’s going solo ..!

  40. Craig J May 18, 2014 at 10:09 pm #

    Hi Man!

    First of all, I just wanna say awesome city guides you have here! I’ll be in Bali in July. I’m not sure whether to meet other backpackers, party up with them or stick to just doing it solo cos ill have more freedom. What do you think bro??

  41. Ravi bronson July 25, 2014 at 4:00 pm #

    Coming to Bali on 11th Sept 2014, looking for some sensible and cool girl to be with for 15 days. Some one who can talk sense, likes adventure sports, enjoys driving around the island and night life. Write to me at ravi_969696@yahoo.in.

  42. bjohn July 26, 2014 at 6:20 am #

    all the advice is good advice hope to hit bounty,semyank etc. Will update all the guys who want to be trojans and who want have the dream FMF outing Ciao

  43. Riketts July 27, 2014 at 11:28 pm #

    FUCK drugs I’m there 2 bang tight wet asian pussy =)

  44. Sasha August 17, 2014 at 9:24 am #

    Any tips on where to pick up nice guys? Will be in Bali for a week… I do not wish to be hounded by kuta cowboys again .. I just want to sit in the sun and get high on shrooms or beer .. i will bring my own trojan caps .. :) Happy holidays

    • Tyler August 28, 2014 at 9:14 am #

      Yea 2 Aussie guys will be their 8th September

    • sandesh August 29, 2014 at 11:30 am #

      Hey Sasha
      Are you still in Bali or around ?

    • james September 15, 2014 at 8:07 am #

      Dear Sasha when you will be at Bali?

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