I travel with just a carry-on 25 Litre army backpack everywhere I go, so I know how important space is!
Now I’m not going to tell you to pack 3 pairs of self-washable super socks that that double as small towels; or to bring a special penknife that turns into a small life raft with a cocktail bar; you can get that info somewhere else.
This is a special travel kit.
Something essential for all you vagabonding Venusian artists…
The Naughty Nomad Travel Kit
A Fetching Hat
A hat, jewellery, a tie, a striking shirt; whatever! Never underestimate the power of a little peakcocking. Separate yourself from the herd and women will respond. In my case, good head wear translates to good head. This technique helps in places where you may look similar to the locals… i.e. A white guy in Eastern Europe or a Black guy in Africa. Peakcocking also gives you an advantage over other tourists elsewhere .
An Unblocked Phone
How the are going to call her without a phone dip shit!? OK so I don’t recommend calling girls who leave their number on toilet doors, but if you want to arrange dates you need a dam phone. Buy a local SIM card. It’s cheaper and girls will be more inclined to text you. Having a phone more than doubles your chances of hooking up. I wish someone told me this before I went to Africa! A phone is also needed for my “Number Crunching” gambit. Email me @ firstname.lastname@example.org to get the password.
Candle & Incense
It sounds corny, but this works wonders. A candle and some incense can turn that $3 shit hole into a Romantic oasis. Get all those senses tingling. Make sure the girl lights the candle, her involvement in building the scene is a subconscious submission to the seduction. Candlelight also provides the perfect luminance for some good lovin’.
Ultra light Speakers / Laptop
You got to get some tunes going to set the mood. Laptops usually suffice, otherwise hook up your Mp3 player to these ultra light speakers. A lot of these compact travel speakers provide really great sound a nice amount of sensual bass vibrations. But more importantly you need…
The Right Playlist
Make a sexy playlist. Start it off nice and slow and customise it to your style. Try and create a flow. On one occasion I actually esculated the seduction in syrcronisation with a playlist! I even arrange different songs for different positions! Hey, why not?
Now you’re getting into it. Skin looks sooo much sexier covered in oil, and who doesn’t like a massage? Get creative. Massage oil also doubles as a lube for all you cheeky sodomites.
I’m not going to judge here.
Condoms, Handcuffs, Duck-tape, Video-camera, the Super Licker 5000 (above), Phallic paraphernalia or whatever else you sickos are into… put them into your Naughty Nomad kit! You’re nearly finished.
Finally… Pictures of dead naked women
So you’ve just had sex with a woman you no intention of having a future with?
Nothing says Mr.Right like a few pics of a defiled battered corpse. Try add some white stains for extra effect. Leave them casually displayed on the floor before you take your morning shower. She’ll be gone before you wash your hair.
BTW – If you’re a smoker bring skins. Do you how hard it is to find skins in a country where a box of fags is little more that a dollar!? Stock up.