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ALWAYS carry a condom

You’re meeting a friend for a quick liquid lunch in a tapas bar across town.

Got a condom?

What if you hit it off with a cute girl at the bar and end up dragging her into a bathroom cubical?

You’re going for your morning coffee.

Got a condom?

What if you run into that girl from the gym and end up dragging her into a bathroom cubicle?

You’re in work…cubicle.

You’re in the club…cubicle

You’re at a funeral…OK, no cubicle-but there’s always the confession box.

You’re in an elevator.

A dark alleyway.

The train. The cinema. The airport.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS carry a condom. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve had some girl with her pants around her ankles, ready to go, only to be denied the bang because I wasn’t prepared and didn’t have a condom. Yesterday, that even happened me on a visit to the real estate office.

Oh, that’s another one. Apartment shopping…condom.

Picking up your laundry…condom.

Getting a colonoscopy…condom.

Hell, you should even have a condom when you’re going to pick up condoms!

Wallet. Keys. Phone. CONDOM.

Got it?


14 Responses to ALWAYS carry a condom

  1. splooge March 16, 2014 at 9:04 pm #

    may as well bring a pill too since child laws suck for men.
    good remainder though

  2. Marlon March 16, 2014 at 9:42 pm #

    What towns in Europe had the biggest tit women?

    Kudos if there are some places where its cheap, the girls are easy, white with big tits, and nice full asses without being 5’10 amazons- I like them 5’4-5’6.

  3. DrSam March 17, 2014 at 12:17 am #

    Logistics Logistics Logistics… when I was a teenager got caught a couple of times like that. One of the those changes never presented itself again. To this day I still remember that hot red hair girl that got away (20 years ago), still haven’t banged a red hair.

    I’m a avid reader of your blog and forum, keep up the good work. Few years ago would have a lot of experience to share, but now I’ve settled in SE Asia and married so I’m kinda out of the circuit. Cheers.

  4. Deebos March 17, 2014 at 2:37 am #

    Ha, this happened to me yesterday! Told her I didn’t have a condom but she said no, just go inside me…no f*ing way, protection everytime for me. Lucky for me a beer run was in order and picked them up then. First date lay, of course I also got the she’d never done that before bs

    • Sam March 17, 2014 at 8:14 am #

      Ha ha. I’m a girl, and my girlfriends always get that “yeah-whatever-i’m-horny-and-don’t-buy-your-first-time-first-date-shag-story-but-who-cares-l’ll-screw-you-anyway look” when it’s almost always true.

      • Shermaine May 15, 2018 at 9:26 am #

        Shiver me timbers, them’s some great inooamrtifn.

  5. P Unit March 18, 2014 at 8:24 pm #

    Naughty Ho Man-

    Player I was relfucking upon the best game adventures I’ve had and I gotta say
    1-Busy popular Los Angeles Beaches (Santa Monica, Manhattan Beach
    2-South beach Miami
    3-Las Vegas
    4-Black womenz Atlanta da only way fo real

    Player pimp hustler G now tells me-
    Where are the biggest tit and ass white girls in Europe? No stick women only stacked for me to pack.

  6. dijaz March 18, 2014 at 10:14 pm #

    My kickboxtrainer once said: fighting without a mouthpiece is like going out without a condom

  7. JJ March 20, 2014 at 12:15 am #

    What always puzzles me is guys that go out to hit up the bar / club looking to get laid and they literally carry one condom in their wallet.


    Why so pessimistic?

    Why presume there will be no round two?

    Why presume you are not going to spend the night together and want frisky morning sex?

    Just checked my wallet to make sure I am following my own advice here.

    3 condoms.

    • Pegaso March 31, 2014 at 2:47 pm #

      This all makes me laugh, or maybe cry. For so many years I have even lost count of, I went out with one same condom that I never ever had half a chance to use. Losers of the world rejoice: there never was such loser as the one typing these words.

  8. Durex March 22, 2014 at 11:28 pm #

    To The Naughty Nomad and Other experienced gamers-

    How many approaches have you done your entire career?

    With most guys what kind of game will most likely give the best result (day, night, online, social circle, etc.)?


  9. AZiz March 24, 2014 at 5:28 am #

    Nomad I read you had a band- give us a link to your music.

    Why are so many bands dreamy and atmospheric sounding in the UK!?The Smiths, U2, New Order, The Cult, Muse, etc. Domyou prefer melodic rock like the aforementioned bands or do you dig harsh brutal metal music like America produces?

  10. Thomas @BoyToyStory May 3, 2014 at 1:36 pm #

    HAHA! That is so true! Luckily I learned this habit pretty fast, and there have been more than a few random unsuspected times where those rubber guys have come in handy 😉 I wrote a post about the same thing around a year ago, so I am happy to see you convey the message – so many guys are unprepared for success – and then they wonder why they never get it 😉


  1. Public Sex 101 | Dom Torres - May 5, 2014

    […] At that moment I was rock solid and wanted nothing more then to be inside her, but I had a problem. I didn’t have a condom! […]

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