I’m writing this piece to complement my upcoming Cuban City Guides. Sex in Cuba is complicated, so I felt the need to inform other male travellers of what to expect.
If you’re the type that pays for sex, you’ll be in a heaven. But if you’re like me, Cuba can be a frustrating place. I honestly can’t think of a country where prostitution is so ingrained and pervasive in the culture. “You fuck, you pay. That’s Cuba,” one local guy told me on my first day. If you’ve done any research online, you’ve probably heard similar statements.
“All Cuban women you meet at night are whores.”
“You cannot get laid in Cuba without paying for it or shoring.”
“It’s impossible to find ‘normal’ girls in Cuba.”
“Even good looking Cuban women you meet during the day also expect money for sex.”
“If you DO find a girl, logistics and the police will cockblock you anyway.”
Well, I’m happy to inform you that all these statements are not always true. I got laid several times in Cuba with ‘normal’ girls – all of which I met at night time. BUT IT WAS HARD.
There are several reasons why getting your Cuban flag is difficult.
- Most Cuban girls ARE whores.
It really seemed like 80% of girls had a price tag. On one occasion, I even had a perfectly normal girl, walking hand in hand with her boyfriend, get in our car over the possibility of getting some pay for play. Sadly, this is what happens when the average salary is less than $25 a month. And under communism, finding a middle or upper class girl is like finding a Jew in Mecca.
- The Police
It’s de facto illegal for Cubans to walk down the street with you. On more than one occasion, we had girls we were with ARRESTED by the police! I had to make girls walk 20 metres behind me. (The sad thing is: the police don’t bother you if you are with a white Cuban girl, but if she’s black or Mulatto, they will cockblock you hard.) If you get caught, the only thing you can do is tell them she is your salsa and Spanish teacher.
Even if you find a non-whore and evade the police, getting them into your place is another obstacle. By law, your girl is required to register her ID where you’re staying. A lot of girls (and almost all hookers) won’t register for fear of the police knocking on their door.
So what’s a man to do?
Here are a few tips for finding your Cuban flame…
1. Learn Spanish
Without Spanish you will seriously struggle in Cuba. I must have chatted up over 50 Cuban girls in my two weeks there, and only one of them spoke English. Even basic Spanish will give you a massive advantage. Private lessons are only $2-5 an hour here and can be arranged by your casa owner.
If you’re looking to learn I strongly recommend this language program. I use it for all my languages and in my opinion it’s the best on the market.
2. Game hard
You need to approach like a boss. You need to wade through the whores and hustlers to find a good girl. I got a ton of make outs (every day for two weeks straight, in fact), but in the end many of them end up asking for something… be it a drink or a dollar. The only way to find a genuine girl is to play the numbers game. If it comes to crunch time, ask her if she minds registering at your casa. This is a great filter. If she says no, she’s probably a hooker. Normal girls will reluctantly agree. Even though it’s extremely pricey, I also recommend you get a sim card. A lot of girls can’t afford sims, so they may give you their house number or their friend’s number. Also, many can’t afford credit, so call rather than text.
3. Go for the White Ones
Don’t be fooled by its socialist veneer. There is still a race/class correlation in Cuba. (95% of Cubans in the US are white, for example). Most white hispanic girls you meet will still be on the game, but most non-hookers tend to be a whiter shade. I have a preference for darker women, but finding a good looking one that was a non-pro was a real chore. That said, it can be done (I found one). If you want some of that juicy black ass- or any for that matter – follow my next tip.
4. Go for Students, Musicians, and Dancers
Every Cuban girl I banged fell into one of these categories. There is a ton of live music in every city in the country, with plenty of cute girls who’ll blow your flute. (By the way, in my experience, Cuban girls always gave head without request – and were damn good at it. Argh!)
If you’re looking for students in Havana, I suggest going out in Vedado, near 23rd street by the university. Which brings me to my final tip…
5. Hit the Streets!
Grab a $1 beer and take a walk. Nearly all ‘good’ Cuban girls party outside, sharing cheap rum with their friends as they pass the guitar around. Literally every Cuban I banged, we met outdoors. Almost every town in Cuba has a main square, and this is THE place where young locals come to mingle. If you’re in Havana, go the Malecon in Vedado. At weekends, it’s literally SWARMING with people.