Phuket Island Guide

Bangla Rd. by day

Phuket in a word: Hedonistic.

Chance of Hooking up: 5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 4 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around €2 for a 330ml bottle.
Bed: €8 for a central private room.
Bud: €50 for 3-4 grams.
Board: €3-4 for most meals.
Budget other: Some places close at 6.00 AM. That’s a lot of drinking time.
Currency Conversion

Overview

The heart of the action is centred around Bangla Road, Patong. This is where you need to be. Sure it’s sleazy, but it’s right by the beach, there’s a ridiculous amount of women and the night life is insane. This is my favourite spot in Thailand. Welcome to sex central; a hedonist’s paradise.

Bangla Rd. by night

The Girls

Freelancer in Hollywoods

First and foremost, the majority of girls around Bangla are working girls or p4p, plain and simple. That said, this is not always the case and it doesn’t mean you need to pay for it anyway. This is a prime location for shoring. Secondly, these girls are hot as hell (see video below) and you can find some grade A Thai totty for your pleasure, as women in this area display a high degree of promiscuity. There are basically 4 different types of girls.

Bar girls
A bar girl is a lady working in a bar, usually selling drinks, dancing or mingling with the punters. These girls will more often than not be there to pick up clients who will pay for sex. Most of these girls generally come from Issan, a poorer province in Thailand. Avoid these ones unless you are a sex tourist; not my style.

Bar girls, Patong. Note to self: buy schoolgirl outfit to put on asian FB

Freelancers
These are pros or semi-pro’s without an employer. They are often found in  bars or on the street. In bars, they can be shored and will screw you for free if they like you.

Non-pros
There are lot’s of girls on the island who don’t work in bars and who have never even considered p4p. What I consider “good” girls; normal girls with jobs. You can ask them out directly as many have hopes of dating a western guy.

Tourists
Around Patong, you can find both domestic and international tourists. Some wealthier Bangkok girls come here on vacation to party, while there fat western counterparts look around in disgust. Take your pick.

Nightlife Recommendations

As mentioned, Bangla road is where it’s at. Do a pub crawl and get a feel for the place, if it hits 2Am and your  alone  there’s only one place you need to know about …

Hollywoods

This is a big nightclub that’s always the last place to close and packed every night. It’s a major freelancers hangout, but plenty of tourists and non-pros can be found here too. Hooking up here is almost guaranteed if you have a little game. Both me and my mate brought a different girl home every night we came here and money never came up once.. I even wondered in at 5.30 am one morning and got picked up.

Here’s a video I found on Hollywood’s…

So what do at the end of the night and I haven’t scored?

Then you need to go to..

The Local Pool Hall

At 6AM, this place is packed with sexy chicks who refuse to go to bed. They’re horny, hammered and there’s no men around… We had women literally fighting over each other when we arrived. Have fun..

I also recommend you read my Ladyboy survival guide.

Getting High

Legislation: Cannabis is illegal in Thailand but the police in Phuket Island is fairly corrupt. It wouldnt be advisable not to smoke in public or in dodgy back streets, but smoking on the beach or hotel balcony should be kept discrete.

Law Enforcement: Law enforcement generally corrupt, can be bought off for around 20,000B if you run into trouble.

Where to Buy Marijuana in Phuket Island: Head to Patong Beach where there are jetski rentals and parasailing. Be cool and ask the guys renting out the equipment to hook you up.  A recent tip we got is: “Patong Soi Eric the Regee beer bar”. Another report from patong bay: “Not from people who wrap their pot in tons of plastic and burn the edges; not marijuana. Look for the mid 20s people who work on the beach.” Another reporter added: “Taxi drivers and tuk tuk drivers are the way to go.”

Phuket Island Marijuana Prices: An expensive 3000B for about 4-5 grams of shitty brick weed. But it’s good if you’re bud-starved. Another reporter added; “300Tb = 1.5g of thai stick. THC about 6 – 12 %”
Another reporter informed us of “1000TB for 10 grams”  and also: “I paid 1000 baht for about 5-7 grams of compressed outdoor sativa.”

My Phuket Experience

Sex, sex and more sex. Phuket was insane. Both me and my mate were with a different girl every single night, really sexy girls as well. I thought my dick was going to fall off; good times.

;)

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17 Responses to Phuket Island Guide

  1. Shaman August 13, 2010 at 9:30 pm #

    Dude, 20,000 baht is around $625 US, are you sure you didn’t mean 2,000 baht???

    • naughtynomad August 14, 2010 at 1:18 am #

      I don’t know, I got that report from Webehigh.com

  2. bhodisatta August 20, 2010 at 7:42 pm #

    dude. this blog fucking rocks!

  3. Jamie April 3, 2011 at 1:28 am #

    Hey Mark!

    I am a 19 year old college student from Canada. I am a huge fan of your site fucking brilliant, I have a ton of questions to ask you because I am leaving to vietnam in 3 weeks and haven’t planned anything. Do you have a email I could reach you at by any chance?

    P.S keep up the good work
    -Jamie

  4. pacman June 8, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

    I would like to go there in August…were you there in August as well?

    • Naughty Nomad June 9, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

      I was… good times.

  5. Henrik November 14, 2011 at 9:22 pm #

    As you mention Isaan, technically it’s not a “province”, but a larger region consisting of maybe around five province; then again, a province in Thailand is rather small – the have a total of 57 or so.

    Didn’t that need to be cleared?

  6. FBsalem May 6, 2012 at 10:00 am #

    I really like your site, because most of the infos about the cities you visited i have noticed the same things as being for example cock-infested(lol) and how to ratio or woman to woman has changed in Prague Krakaw etc…I have planning to go to thailand for some time, but every time am about to pack my suit case i watch a documentary over thailand showing transexual(hot lol) chick and showing a cock infested bars, of old ugly man trying to fuck for money, so i go somewhere else. But when i read this article and i know that your info is legit :) i am really considering going, but how up to date is your info, because i saw that it dates of 2010 and we are in 2012 and i know how 2 years can be really damaging to a hot place. So please have an update! thanks a lot a keep up the good work :))

  7. AC November 11, 2012 at 2:39 pm #

    Hey, great stuff here.

    “The Local Pool Hall”

    where is this exactly? I know you don’t mean any random pool hall cuz these are long closed by 6am.

    • Naughty Nomad November 12, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

      I have no idea where it was.

  8. SM January 4, 2013 at 10:08 am #

    NN, love your blog!
    going to Phuket in 2 months and can’t wait. Patong it is!
    was hoping to check out your ULTIMATE technique – care to share the password please?

  9. DUUUUUDE April 21, 2013 at 4:22 am #

    Hey I’m planning my vacation this June to Vietam and then Thailand. So I’m going by your city guide ratings…I want to go to Ho chin Minh in Vietnam and then I was thinking bangkok in Thailand but I noticed that your blog talks about Phuket Island..which do I choose?

    Is Phuket hotter property for getting action than Bangkok?
    What if I wanna do sight seeing while getting laid like a rock star? Which one?
    (lol at thaland’s nsme’d and their initial phonetic/ironic apprearance)

  10. Sam December 2, 2013 at 6:46 am #

    Your blog is just too helpful:)

    What about chances of contracting STDs or any other diceaces, I read a lot of scarry stuff about Bangkok n Phuket.

    What about the chance of getting lucky with tourists like Americans,Australians…n European chicks?

  11. mahmoud May 26, 2014 at 6:14 pm #

    in which hotel you stayed when you visited phuket, and how much did the room cost you per night?

  12. paul October 12, 2014 at 3:20 pm #

    I have a lot of high quality weed.

    Wholesale to you for cheap.

    Let you talk to me more on Facebook.

    Contact me here >> https://www.facebook.com/PakornNiumsakul

    ……….. The high quality weed !!! Let you come to see…. :D

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