Kuala Lumpur City Guide

KL towers at night

KL in a word: Dynamic.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 3 / 5
S.T.L: 1.5 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around €5 a pint.
Bed: €6-8 for a private room.
Bud: ?
Board: €2 for a decent chinese dish.
Budget other: Alcohol gets insanely expensive in nightclubs.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Kuala Lumpur is a dynamic place and is a nice size. It is quite developed and safe with wonderful parks. Indians, Chinese and Malays all inhabit this pleasurable city. This would be a fantastic city to hang out in if it wasn’t for the exoberant alcohol tax.

Malay girls are adorable

The Girls

Malaysian law is pretty strict on native Malay muslims drinking, as a result it is unlikely to encounter Malay girls at night. That said, plenty of Chinese and Indian girls do indulge. Malay girls have darker skin than other ethnic groups on the peninsula and many are extremely attractive and feminine. If you want to meet a nice Malay woman, your best bet is Borneo as East Malaysia is considerably more conservative. One positive about Kuala Lumpur is that English is widely understood due to the ethnic mix. Kuala Lumpur is also great place to meet some stunning Chinese girls, many of whom are independent and well-educated. KL is also home to many are Filipinas and Vietnamese women. While many work here legitimately, others come to the city to work as prostitutes.

Nightlife Recommendations

The nightlife in KL is slighty disappointing. This is part due to extremes.

There are 4 types of place to drink  in KL.

  • Chinese restaurants with cheap booze
  • Tourist Bars (the nearest happy medium)
  • High-end nightclubs with high-end prices
  • Sleazy Freelancer bars
Beach Club
Falling under the sleazy category. Packed full of Vietnamese hookers and horny old guys. That said, is has a shark aquarium, great live music and some normal girls (I got picked up here with no money involved)
Zouk & Velvet Underground
Well known disco with lots of dance areas and great DJs. Packed with hot Chinese girls. It can be a bit pricey and a bit pretentious but the quality here is grade A.
Bukit Bintang
A street with lots of bars and lots of options. A good mix of tourists and locals. This is a good medium between the options mentioned above. This is the place to go if your want some Europeans (or Reggae bar).

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s  input: “you need to befriend a local”

Legislation: Very very strict, which means death penalty for traficking and for sure jail for any amount, even very small.

Law enforcement: Severe. You should only smoke in your hotel room. Police does usually not bother foreigner, but they will sure do if they suspect something. Another reporter added: “Police here are mostly corrupted. So a bribe could get you away.

Where to buy marijuana: In the golden triangle area, talk with the guys that try to hook you up with the prostitutes. Play the stupid (I’m not sure if you can get me what I want, bla, bla…) and you will eventually bring on the conversation on weed. Once the deal is set, walk or take a cab straight to your hotel, you don’t want to hang around with the weed. And don’t let the dealer know where you stay as he might then report to his policeman friend ! If you’re very very careful, everything should be fine.

Jalan Chow Kit is the main place for it. Locate the market, ask someone where is the lamb/mutton are sold, near there, you will find some fruits stalls, look out for guys making eye contact, just nod and walk towards a less crowded place, if he follows, you’re on, pay and get the hell outta there. ”

Marijuana prices: In this place mostly are sold in RM10 packs which hardly enough for a joint, negotiate and ask for better deals.
and also: “Never really measured but… 1 quarter of your palm filled with weed will mostly cost you more or less 30 ringgit, always bargain”

My KL Experience

I’ve been to KL 4 times.
I’ve walked across the entire city and feel I know it pretty well.
I got laid twice but it took a bit of luck (one from Beach bar and once from Zouk), I personally prefer beach bar. The food is to die for and some of the girls here are ‘make-you-want-to-stay-here’ gorgeous. I’d actually consider living here if the booze wasn’t so pricey.

Me in Zouk

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25 Responses to Kuala Lumpur City Guide

  1. Danny June 10, 2010 at 9:13 am #

    50 ringgit 1/8

  2. guna July 16, 2010 at 7:30 am #

    Hey Cool man, I am from KL and never get a free night………..when will you be here next…….i will join you

    • naughtynomad August 1, 2010 at 7:11 pm #

      Late reply.. Won’t be back there for quite some time I fear..

  3. Trevor February 17, 2011 at 3:12 am #

    Great site Mark Patrick O’Naughty! Your SE Asia girl ranking chart is remarkably percipient for one so youthful. However I thoroughly dislike the Malays & Indonesians with their killjoy Islamic religion and fundamental hostility to ‘non-believers’. Couldn’t get back to Thailand fast enough after each boring visa run to Penang.

  4. sirmarjalot March 25, 2011 at 8:56 pm #

    Was hoping to meet some curvy cute little Malay ladies when I visited KL for a mongering trip, but the bars like Hardrock and beach club were full of hardcore looking hookers so had a cute chinese girl in one of the city spas

  5. Charlie June 13, 2011 at 8:40 pm #

    Spot on article for KL. I think going to the mall is the place to meet women there.

    http://www.singledudetravel.com/2011/05/the-single-dudes-guide-to-kuala-lumpur-malaysia/

  6. moe August 14, 2011 at 4:52 am #

    Am going there in a months time to start my bachelor’s degree,at first I was scared of the penalty for weed cuz I do smoke occasionally and frankly still am..no worries though got a few friends studying there too..so I’ll try to work some thing out.

  7. Kuala Lumpur Shangri August 16, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

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  8. Budget Hotel KL October 1, 2011 at 5:33 pm #

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  9. rangoli December 15, 2011 at 8:36 am #

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  10. Shagging King September 18, 2012 at 2:00 pm #

    What a load of crap !! Ive been here 3 weeks and havent even seen a single girl never mind pulling one. Beach club is the only place and that is if you want to pay for it !!

  11. fogal November 21, 2012 at 3:28 pm #

    what bacground were the girls that u plowed…malay?,chinese?,indian?

  12. Baked :) November 29, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    For RM 200, i get a brick the size of a ciggie box. But its a strain called tali hijau tho :)

  13. anonym February 13, 2013 at 5:25 pm #

    Baked, where can I get that brick you mention? It’s the holidays here and really want to chill out with my buddies. My usual contact is away :(

  14. Dave June 17, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    I lived in KL for 3 years for work. Hated every minute. Starved for pussy the whole time. Everytime I went to Indo or Vietnam for a holiday I had hot chicks on tap. Malaysia is the worst place for chicks in Asia. Nice looking girls but wont have a bar of foreigners unless they are paying! (Actually most of the locals blokes are paying too)

  15. David July 13, 2013 at 5:04 am #

    Hi guys, I really want to warn you about chinatown, never go there for clubbing, so dangerous, many steals, rubbers, pick pocket and fighters are there, especially the reggae bar, firstly the bouncers are so rude and make you angry to fight with them, after that lots of people attack you and heat you cruelty and finally rub you.
    secondly there is a lots of fighters and rubbers are waiting for you outside. So if you don’t want to ruin yourself keep away from that area.

  16. REDA October 17, 2013 at 6:57 am #

    hey guys,

    i came back yesterday from KL and i do totally agree with the comments, that’s definitely not a place for singles travelers who want to get one night stand, i found the nightlife really disappointing if you compare it to Jakarta for example, i definitely do not recommend :
    Zouk which is full of local kids and the ratio man/woman is 10/1
    Beach Club which is full of dirty grand pas getting drunk and being abused by pimps .
    Skye Bar which is in traders Hotel is also disappointing, the one in Jakarta is 1000 times better, the set up looked cheap and the crowd is composed by groups of expats or tourists, full of dudes however the view is nice but after 5 mins it doesn’t matter anymore, and the ratio man/woman is 8/1
    Luna Bar, In pacific Hotel, it was dirty, in the sense which is dirty, also groups of expats and young locals partying alone, the dance floor in located on a elevated roof so no body dares to go on expect after a couple of bottles, it has also 2 cranes overlooking the place from 2 construction sites …. lovely the ratio man/woman is 10/1
    Rootz, nothing to say, really nothing to say except maybe the horrible smell like if they didn’t open the windows for decades …. the ratio man/woman is 10/1

    And finally the only 2 places i liked :
    Marinis on 57, pretentious and posh but its a really nice to feel that the 300 RM white wine that you just paid is worth it,
    Zeta Bar, in Hilton KL, the band is amazing, they are there only for 3 months, straight from the US. That’s the only place i recommend for clubbing and listening to a good sound, it has a mix of locals and expats and the most important, the crowd is over 35 years old, the ratio man/woman is 1/1

    So, in conclusion, for clubbing, bar hopping, getting laid ,,,etc if you are in KL, take the next flight to Jakarta.

  17. Snowy December 30, 2013 at 7:41 am #

    howdy doody galz and geezers, now its only 1 day off from that time of year again when the end and beginning come together on 1 huge night of fun festivity and frangers ;-) now to get all these things together you will require a state of mind that needs slight altering. therefore if ur a foreigner i invite yo ]u to add me on whatsapp or wechat as if i was you id be very cautious of any locals sellin u anythin. reason? the coppers pay them more moolah to snitch on u than what profit they would make from selling u that bag of green or rocks. im a foreigner as well people so i can provide you with a safe avenue to obtain sum wondersnuff called C9 and also some tabs. pricing on the C9 is rm500 for 1g but u need one point or 0.1g and adios for 6-12hrs. the tabs are 35rm ea and also buzz ya buttox for 4-8hrs. be good or be good at it ;-P

    • Nash January 13, 2014 at 8:06 am #

      yo dude how do I add you

      • Snowy January 26, 2014 at 4:20 am #

        Hey buddy just email me on snowmen2013@hotmail.com with any questions you have. Thx Nash.

      • Snowy January 30, 2014 at 9:29 am #

        Hi nash, emails been playin up. U can call me on +60184065967 if u need anything. Thx.

  18. Adi January 16, 2014 at 7:14 pm #

    Was in KL for a year and yep getting booty was a weekly affair. The spots you mention are good nontheless but there are way better ones to score some local chicas. Head to Changkat (not bukit bintang), havana and healy macs is where I usually scored, so much so had 4 of the chics already boned spot me while I was making out with another one (scary memory!). Chinese chics usually are a little conservative and dont come across that open though the malay and the indian ones can easily reach out tya once they are down enough booze!

  19. kelvin March 21, 2014 at 6:43 pm #

    0143261587 whoever needs you can call me here i can hook you with the stuff you need anywere in kuala lumpur .kelvin..good price and quality for sure

    • john June 18, 2014 at 9:52 am #

      hi sir need some green here

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