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Snapshot: Washington, D.C., USA

Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Washington D.C.


What’s D.C. like?

Walking around the city center, most visitors would describe Washington D.C. as a beautiful little city. The tree-lined streets, the superb monuments, the museums, and vibes of Little Ethiopia make it a great place to visit for a couple of days. Last call for drinks is at 1.30 and the quality of women isn’t a patch on other American cities, but despite that, I would highly recommend a brief visit to see the sights and take in the city’s unique atmosphere.

What are the women like?

After seeing the women in D.C., I’ve a new-found appreciation  for NYC.

Working-Women-DCTo quote the Latina chick I was with, DC chicks are “bran-muffin bitches.” There’s plain-looking, boring, fatty, and the only reason people bother is because there’s no other options. Everything you’ve ever heard about them is largely true. I can see why Washington D.C. Sucks for Men.

Feminine women are almost impossible to find.

The reason?

The answer is written in black and white… literally.

Red = whites, blue = blacks.

Red = whites, blue = blacks.

Firstly, the demographics suck. Coming from New York, the Hispanic and Asian populations in DC seemed practically invisible. Despite being the liberal heartland of America, there’s not much diversity. The city is 50% black and 40% white—with all the sexy and demure females replaced by a bunch of social justice warriors (SJWs) in the form of opinionated African-American women who harp on about “white male privilege”, and entitled, career-obsessed white women who are allergic to heels and walk like gorillas.

If you like it black, there’s still plenty of good options, but for those who like milk, I hope you like it spoiled and clumpy. Although I’m sure that beauties exist (they’re called tourists), I honestly did not see one white D.C. women that was worth a second glance.

Lower-class thug-wannabes are also to blame. 

I reckon the reason many D.C. women don’t dress up or take care of themselves is because of sshthe ridiculous amount of attention they receive from saggy-pants wearing, self-described ‘niggaz’ in the city.

In NYC, at least these type of guys show a little respect when you’re walking down the street with a nice body beside you (perhaps because Latinas are a dime a dozen here), but in D.C., my girl got constant attention, sexual comments, barked at from cars, and guys even tried to pick her up even though she was on my arm!

I can now begin to understand why the ‘stop street harassment’ signs are up on the subway.

Your Best Options

dc5(1)Aside from the annoying SJW crowd, D.C is a pretty good city by American standards if you’re down with the brown.

In New York, most black women are lower-class, grammatically challenged weave wearers, but in D.C., the black women I encountered were well-educated, urbane types from middle class backgrounds who weren’t afraid to rock their natural hair. It was rather refreshing.

I also noticed a lot more black women-white man couples in D.C.

The city also has the largest concentration of Ethiopians in America. These girls tend to be better looking than their American counterparts and are far more feminine, too. You can find them hanging out in Little Ethiopia around U Street.

Howard University Cheerleaders

Howard University Cheerleaders

Where should I go at night-time?

Home… because they’ll kick you out of the bar at 1.30 a.m. when the party’s only getting started. It felt like I was 14 again and had a curfew.

Maybe I’m just spoiled coming from ‘the city that never sleeps’.

(Update: I’ve been informed last call extends 2.30 on weekends.)

Anyway, if you’re used to such nanny-state opening hours, nightlife in DC is relatively decent. Around the U Street street corridor (a popular nightlife area by Little Ethiopia), I was pleasantly surprised to find several places busy midweek—a rarity even in NYC. Many of these venues were pretty cool, too.

I was highly recommended Marvin Rooftop and it didn’t disappoint. This was easily the coolest place I visited. Despite it being a rooftop, it had a laid-back, unpretentious vibe with a DJ and a few decent looking black girls (all the white girls were there with guys).

Main Bar at Marvin Rooftop

Main Bar at Marvin Rooftop

All-female staff

All-female staff

For Ethiopian girls, the best spot I found was Cloud Lounge. Even on a Monday night the place was packed and had live music. Aside from those mentioned, I also went to see a free-style rap battle at Apple Lounge which was pretty cool, but I couldn’t recommend it unless you want to deal with ratchet chicks.

Apart from my limited experience around U street above, here are the Top 5 Best DC Bars to Pick Up according to Virgle Kent.

You can also find more information on other areas here, here, here and here.

Any other recommendations/advice?

Check out all the famous monuments, obviously. I also highly recommend the Air and Space Museum at the Smithsonian. Entrance is free.

Check out the POV Lounge rooftop at the W Hotel for a beer and a great view after a day’s sightseeing.

event_238512972As for accommodation, I used AirBnB and found this place. (I linked directly to their website so you can bypass the AirBnB fees).  I couldn’t recommend here highly enough. It’s right by all the nightlife on U Street, is self-check in (so you don’t have to worry about owners), and the price is right, too.

You smell weed everywhere in D.C.  Check out here for more info. It’s easy to pick up in Little Ethiopia where you’ll see plenty of Rastas and a few hustlers hanging around the bars. Take usual precautions.

Finally, make sure you try some Ethiopian food! Tibs and Kitfo are my favourites. Here’s a little video of me eating and talking about it.

Bottom Line

I wouldn’t like to live here, but it’s a fantastic place to visit for a few days.

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18 Responses to Snapshot: Washington, D.C., USA

  1. Asf June 23, 2015 at 10:37 am #

    Highly accurate. Your girl is totally on point with calling these girls bran muffin bitches. If you’re not into black or white, going out in DC not high ROI.

  2. Krish June 23, 2015 at 2:12 pm #

    Bro,check your profile..its showing as 00 countries

  3. Jim June 23, 2015 at 4:19 pm #

    Last call is 2:30 on weekends, 1:30 on week nights.

    • Mark Zolo June 23, 2015 at 10:18 pm #

      Thanks, I just updated the info.

      • Double A June 29, 2015 at 1:15 am #

        I stumbled on to your web site about a month ago and I’m hooked. The comradery displayed in the road to Mogadishu is impressive. You have some great wingmen on your side. The fat epidemic you mentioned in DC is very present in NorCal as well. Speaking of fat white chicks, I’m going to be in Demark visiting a buddy. From there I plan on hitting a few other Nordic destinations and the Baltic’s, end of Aug and Sept. I will use your recommendations once there. PS, if the road takes you to Europe around this time or my neck of the woods later, let me know would love to buy you a few drinks!


      • Amin April 10, 2016 at 8:18 pm #

        Hi Mark do you have info on Chicago !? Thanks

        • Mark Zolo April 12, 2016 at 2:15 pm #

          Afraid not.

  4. ASF June 23, 2015 at 5:15 pm #

    NN, great write up. I didn’t even know about Cloud Lounge. Will check it out as I love hookah bars and Habeshas. 🙂

    Your girl was totally on-point describing DC white girls as bran muffin bitches. I’m stealing that one.

  5. Romeo_is_real June 24, 2015 at 4:45 am #

    The Acid Test/comparison; are the Washington D. C White “Bran Muffins” worse than Irish girls?
    > couldn’t be!

  6. splooge June 26, 2015 at 1:49 am #

    curious when they holla ed at your girl what did you do?

    cant say I fully blame em when they actually see a hot girl, like showing a hungry dog a steak

  7. Kevin June 27, 2015 at 11:02 pm #

    When you’re in America a few more cities you have to see-depending on your interests.

    Black girls- Atlanta (midtown, Buckhead) New Orleans (they party hard as anywhere here)
    American white girls- Charleston, SC (Market St. Is booming on the weekends), Nashville (West End and Dowtown)
    Crazy college towns-Athens, GA, Tempe, AZ, Chico, CA, Santa Barbara, CA
    Latinas-Miami (bring you platinum card you’ll need it), Las Vegas (many locals are Mexicanas plus all the action on the strip).

    • Mark Zolo June 30, 2015 at 1:00 pm #

      Thanks Kevin.

  8. Jay Dub July 2, 2015 at 9:41 am #

    Love dc

  9. Tim O'Brien July 4, 2015 at 12:27 pm #

    I’ve lived in DC for years and have never even heard of Little Ethiopia. Go to Georgetown, DuPont Circle, H Street, Glover Park, most of U Street, and a few bars in Adams Morgan, and you’ll see nothing but yuppie white girls (not necessarily a good thing, but a thing for sure). DC is swamped with ACC, SEC, and Big 10 grads.

    As for bars, Brixton on U Street is basically a fraternity party, with plenty of single ladies of all races (mostly white though).

  10. sean June 2, 2016 at 8:48 am #

    As a native of Maryland I would suggest you explore the suburbs of D.C. for girls if you like other ethic groups. Prince Georges (P.G.) county for black girls, Montgomery (Mo) county for black and everything else. Travel 20 minutes up I 95 and you will end up in Howard county, which is where girls from D.C., Baltimore and Annapolis will go to party. D.C is lacking in quality females mostly because they all left D.C. for the suburbs. D.C. traffic is bad, crime is high and parking scarce. You will find many bars, clubs, strip clubs in the counties if you know where to look.

  11. Jamal September 18, 2016 at 9:34 am #

    Agreed. It’s not nyc but damn is it good.

  12. Budsweed October 11, 2016 at 11:04 am #

    Hey Guys if are new to D.C. And need to hook with some good green just inbox me at one love !


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