Top Bar

Edinburgh City Guide (Scotland)

Edinburgh Castle.

Edinburgh in a word: Nice.

Chance of Hooking up: 3.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 2.5 / 5
Nightlife: 4 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 5 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: £2.50 (~ €3 or $4) average per pint.
Bed: £16 for a private room.
Bud: £20 for an 1/8.
Board: £3.60 for a hog burger from Oink.
Budget other: Some place charge £4 for a drink. £5 – £10 club entry near weekends. Pay the £10 into Camera Obscura – easily the coolest thing in the city, if not the U.K.

Currency Conversion


Edinburgh might just be the prettiest city in the U.K. With the castle and the hilly landscape by the sea, it certainly beats any city I’ve been to over there.  On top of that, it’s small enough to conquer by foot yet maintains a fairly solid nightlife. Well worth checking out.

The Girls

Miss Edinburgh

Edinburgh is very much an international city and hosts many tourists. Most of these are from the Anglophone world, but there is also a very visible East Asian community. A Q.O.G rating of 2.5/5 may seem harsh, but there is a noticeable lack of hotties around.

It not very easy to find really good looking local girls, but you do find a few 7’s. They are not quite as liberal as their Glascow counterparts, but are slightly more refined and hipsterist (if that’s your thing). Unlike the rest of Western European Isles (British Isles is incorrect btw), the girls working behind counters are not from Eastern Europe, but are actually locals. So day game is ideal for getting your Scottish flag. At night Scottish girls tend to go out in groups of 4+.

Asian girls are everywhere: Korean, Chinese, Malay and Japanese mainly. The standard is average, but at night men are crawling over each other to score them, so make your move early and isolate. Consider chatting them up on the Royal Mile during the day. Many are students so I’d use pipelining  as well.

The next is Anglophone tourist girls. These consist of Yanks, Canuks, Aussies and Kiwis. Certainly not the preferred option (for me anyway), but definitely the easiest.

The best looking girls in Edinburgh are the continental tourists from the likes of Spain, France and Germany etc.. They are usually found at night in the tourist bars around the grassmarket area. Expect them to be surrounded by four or five guys, you will need to bring your A game.

Nightlife Recommendations

There are many options at night in the city. The city has a great pub culture, but many venues have an unfavorable male to female ratio. Consider doing a pub crawl your first night to get your bearings around Grassmarket, old town. It’s also a good way to meet people. George street hosts more trendy bars and clubs. Having had only one night on George Street (mid week), my recommendations focus on the old town.

Apart from the following, check out El Cojonudo’s data in the comments below. He’s was there for 3 years so his is info is superior.


Edinburgh most popular bar and club: a slick spot with 4 floors. This was actually my favourite venue but mid week it was quiet. On the weekends it’s the place to be. Official website here.

The Hive

Hive layout

Not to be confused with the beehive, this place is a large club with multiple sections. Out of everywhere I went in the city, this venue had the most attractive women. It’s got a cool subterranean feel to it but some may find the crowd a bit young. Open every night, official website here.

Getting High

Courtesy of

The police: It’s not ok to smoke the gange in front of a police man, but its pretty common to smell the sweet smell of mr green in most parks. Sometimes walking down the street you can even treat your nostrils. Police are likey to confiscate your treasure, and give you a caution, unless you have a football sized amount.

Where to buy marijuana: Ask any likely looking guy. Most bartenders will know someone, but be aware that they probably won’t do it for a stranger unless you give them some good chat or make it worth their while. If they get some, say you will give them a little bit as a thank you. I used to know a man who delivered

Marijuana prices: £20 for an eighth of an ounce of the green.

My Edinburgh Experience

I found the city very pleasant. Read my post Edinburgh: A Hatrick of Limericks.


Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

12 Responses to Edinburgh City Guide (Scotland)

  1. sirmarjalot September 11, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    Maybe i will visit Eddinburgh on my next trip then 🙂

  2. el_cojonudo September 12, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

    I studied at Edinburgh University for 3 years and studied here for a year until this March, so thought I should chip in…

    First off, I think this blog is fantastic, but I think you’re a bit off mark with this assesment of Edinburgh..
    there is huge eastern european (read Polish) and in particular, Spanish population in Edinburgh working behind the counters.. these girls are easy to game.. I used to have a spanish F-buddy who told me how DTF all her friends were, and how Scottish guys have zero game.
    additionaly Espionage used to be a great place to go back in the day (I was actually there at the opening night many years ago!) but it has turned into a sleazy old men’s dive these days.. the hive is ok, but predominantly full of 17-19 year olds.. if that’s your kind of thing..
    Better suggestions would be, in terms of student population (so during university term time) – Why Not on George Street
    Girls tarted up – Tiger Lillies also on George Street, where all the B-list celebrities and wannabe footballer wives hang out, as well as the club Lulu downstairs (also Opal Lounge down the road where Prince William used to go). Bare in mind many of the places on George Street are a bit posh and full of English “yas” blowing daddy’s money by qwaffing on champagne..
    For a bit of adventure, go down to Leith and get down to the sailor’s pub / freak show that is called the Port o Leith.. the local haunt Irvine Welsh, author of trainspotting frequents this place, which is known for it’s raucus dancing on the bar
    Good places to go with decent music (which can often be hard to find in Edinburgh) are Cabaret Voltaire and the Bongo club.
    For daygame, on a sunny day, hit the meadows, bring a frisbee.
    During the festival, all the above is irrelevant as everywhere is teeming with poon.

    • Naughty Nomad September 12, 2011 at 7:45 pm #

      Great data man! My readers thank you.

  3. el_cojonudo September 25, 2011 at 8:32 am #

    You are welcome! Another recommendation I should have put in are the Swedish bars on Leith Walk and some further down in Leith run by these guys –
    They’ve all got pretty cool interiors, and have events all through the week, some only worth visiting during the weekend though as that’s when they’ll be busy.. I remember going to a Swedish midsummer party which involved eating raw herring, drinking copious amounts of home made vodka and doing the “frog dance” out on the street with swedish girls with flowers in their hair… ah the memories!

  4. Ben January 7, 2012 at 2:07 am #

    Just found your site and it’s pretty great. I’ve lived in Edinburgh for half my life and can more or less agree with everything el_cojonudo says. Leith is a gem during the quieter months (every month the festival isn’t on). George Street too busy now and Espionage is, without embellishment, host to spastics. Also, you’re lucky to get any drink for less than 3 quid even in the dives.

  5. Naram Sin of Akkad April 21, 2012 at 8:27 pm #

    “Asian girls are everywhere […] but at night men are crawling over each other to score them, so make your move early and isolate.”

    To what extent do you think being conversational in Mandarin (+ beginners Japanese) will give you an advantage with the Asians in Edinburgh? I went to Prague last week and managed to hook up with a Chinese girl, and much of my success seemed to correlate with knowing Chinese.

    • Naughty Nomad April 22, 2012 at 2:29 am #

      Language is one of the best ways to display value. Trumps!

  6. N June 14, 2017 at 9:56 pm #

    Was wondering, what would be your C.O.H and Q.O.G for London?

    • Mark Zolo June 15, 2017 at 6:42 pm #

      No idea. That city is overwhelming and I still don’t have a feel for it. The girls are average I would say. COH would be below average because of terrible logistics.

  7. N June 17, 2017 at 10:42 pm #

    Not as good as Edinburgh/NYC?
    What would count as average?

    • Mark Zolo June 20, 2017 at 9:27 am #

      Yes, average


  1. The Year in Review | Naughty Nomad - February 15, 2016

    […] start off the autumn with a nip over Edinburgh in Scotland with my faithful crew, inspiring a Hatrick of […]

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.