In my last post, I wrote of Face-bouncing. In the past I’ve also written about Face-closing. Now welcome to Facebook for Players 101.

In the 21st century you have two distinct identities: the real and the virtual.

A lot of material on game discusses the former, while our virtual identities are often neglected.

The scary thing is that nowadays you are more than likely going to be introduced to your friend’s lovers via the virtual world before you actually meet them in person. ”This is my girlfriend,” is more often than not followed by someone pointing on a screen rather than an actual handshake.

You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.

Your Facebook profile is important. So without further adieu, here are some tips every player must know about Facebook.

1. Register a Proper Domain Address

Her: “Hey what’s your Facebook?”

Him: “John Jackson.”

Guess what? She searches for you and there’s a million John Jacksons.

FAIL.

You give a girl your Facebook address instead: “Hey, add me sexy @ facebook.com/profile.php?id=1300209409#!/profile.php?id=100002609i060245.”

FAIL.

Now imagine handing a girl a piece of paper saying: “facebook.com/sexyguyfrombar” followed by an “xxx” perhaps.

NO BRAINER. WIN.

2. Make Lists

Separate your friends into lists. Make one for “girls”, one for “lovers”, one for “family”, one for “the lads” etc…

I even separate girls by region. For example I don’t want “the Balkan” girls seeing what I get up with the “Asian” girls.

Lists are VITAL before we continue.

3. Change your name and don’t mention your hometown

Overkill? Maybe, but I don’t think so. You can keep your first name but I suggest changing your second name to your middle name or a nick name.

Why? Consider this.

You meet some cute girl in some third world shithole and add her so you can show your boys back home what a hot piece of ass you destroyed.

You get her pregnant.

What you didn’t mention to your friends is: that hot piece of ass was also a heroin addict who works as a prostitute. Oh, and the baby was born with a horrible disease that left it deformed and unable to talk, walk, or shit for themselves. Nature tried to abort the foetus at 24 weeks, but the pro-life doctors at the hospital managed to make it’s miserable existence viable.

Now, that chick can find you and fuck up your life as a carefree international player.

I once had a chick from Philly hunt me down and claim I was her daughter’s father. Luckily, the paternity test came back negative. Phew!

4. Maximise Privacy Settings

i) Make sure nothing is public.

ii) Make sure nobody can see the photos you’re tagged in. 

Her: “You told me you we’re staying in last night to study! I saw you tagged into a photo where you were grinding some bitch in the club! WTF?”

iii) Make sure nobody can see what other people post in your timeline.

Her: “Hey cutie, I hope your girlfriend doesn’t see this. Whooops ”

iv) Don’t even let your friends see your other friends.

You might get some crazy chick who will contact your friends/ex-lover etc. and try to fuck you over.

That same Philly chick contacted my whole family and even sent pictures to them of my alleged daughter.

I also added a chick one time who found out we had a mutual friend. She contacted her asking about me and found out about my player ways. Bad shit went down.

v) Only let the ‘girls’ list see certain photo  albums.

That’s leads us to our next section…

5. It all about Photos

Needless to say, your Timeline banner and your profiler should make you look like a champ.

Aside from that, you should also create one public folder of your best pics as bait for when girls want to check you out but haven’t friended you yet.

Here are some recommendations for your bait folder, profilers, and timeline banners:

a) The Travel Pic: A picture of you standing on a ice berg or in the dessert.

b) The Primal Pic: A picture of you punching a tiger, for example. Anyway that shows her you could fend of predators if they invaded to your cave.

c) The Mystery Pic: A black and white professional picture of you where you looking away from the camera.

d) The Social pic: A pic of you having a good time and being the centre of attention at a social event.

e) The Musical Pic: Preferably one where you’re on stage being mauled by loads of chicas.

f) The Slick Pic: A pic of you suited up, looking slick.

h) The Danger Pic: A pic of you doing something wild like ski diving.

i) The Skill Pic: A pic of doing something skillful and manly, like riding a horse, shooting guns, or smeltering medieval swords above a fiery pit of molten metal.

j) The Pet Pic: ”Aww look at his little doggy!”

h) And my personal favourite, The Pet/Music/Pro combo pic: A picture of you playing the guitar being watch by the cute shabby dog of the Iranian girl you just banged. You have that wonderful after-sex glow that is accented by the morning sun – and the moment is perfectly captured by the Persian’s professional SLR camera. (my current profiler!)

Hope I’m not forgetting anything and this helps you guys.

Now, go playerise your Facebook! 

Any ideas of your own? Leave a comment!