Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Nagoro Karabakh (known as Artsakh locally).

What are one’s first impressions of Artsakh?

Where the hell am I? Most of you probably haven’t heard of this little self-proclaimed republic. (It hard to be taken seriously when your flag was created in Microsoft paint). Legally still part of Azerbaijan, but de facto occupied by the Armenians after a brutal war, the status of this land is really up in the air. Having heard both sides, I still can’t make my mind up who owns it. However, having slipped my weapon of choice  sex into a Karabakh refugee of Azeri decent, I’m bias in that direction. The capital, Stepanakert, is quite boring, but there is plenty to see and do around this pretty little country.

What are the women like?

Not great. The dregs of Armenia live here. There is the odd hottie, but as a whole, Artsakh women rank the lowest out of anywhere I visited in the Caucasus. Compared to the other self-proclaimed republic in the region, Abkhazia, there is no comparison.

They look like their cousins in Yerevan, with their black hair and sultry features, but they’re just not as attractive—more flabby, hairy, less pretty faces. I’d put Artsakh girls are the same plain as Turkish girls. But even if you do meet a looker, the biggest problem is how conservative the people are. Artsakh has a small population that are very religious and socially conservative. Getting laid would be very hard indeed for the short term visitor. I’m sure it could be done after ALOT of time, effort, and empty promises of marriage and passports,  but frankly, the capital is so boring I wouldn’t recommend anybody stay here to find out. You’re best bet to get laid is hitting on the girls working in the restaurants.

Where should I go at night-time?

Apart from a few decent restaurants (try the Italian place), there are only one or two bars in the center. Check out blues bar. It’s actually not that bad and has a forest-like interior. Don’t expect to find anyone out mid-week though.

Any other recommendations?

Get up early and hire a taxi for the day (very cheap). Check out Shushi, Agdam and all the other sites along the way. Agdam was a former Azeri city of 100,000, but is now an unpopulated city of rubble. It looks like a nuke went of there, with nature is slowly reclaiming the land. It is technically illegal to enter the city, but we chanced our arm and encountered no checkpoints. We did see some military patrols (even filmed them on the sly), but we stayed out of site, let our driver do the talking and had no problems.

Bottom Line

Gary the Fish summed it up well: very beautiful, but boring.

Here’s a shitty 50 second video I made of  some footage I shot there.

http://youtu.be/yMzfxD5QmsM

 

Yerevan in a word: Passable.

Chance of Hooking up: 1.75 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.75 / 5
Nightlife: 2 / 5
Smoking tolerance: 2 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Bachelor’s budget: $50 per day

Beer: $1.70 a pint.
Bed: $30 per night for an apartment.
Bud: $30 for a matchbox.
Food: $2-3 for a meal.

Currency Conversion

Overview 

Yerevan is no match for the grandeur of its rivals Tbilisi and Baku, but it still has its charms. A walk around Opera Square and a trek up Cascade and Freedom Park in the evening will leave you with a favorable impression of the city—which still outclasses most ex-soviet capitals. Regardless, the main appeal of the city is its laid back vibe. It was the only city in the Caucasus where I’d consider living for a month or two.

The Girls

Appearance: I expected Armenians to be quite homogeneous in looks, but nothing could be further from the truth. The Armenian tribe is similar to the Jewish tribe… they got displaced, became diverse and diluted, and their diaspora kinda came from everywhere once the state was formed. As such, the standard deviation in attractiveness is greater than anywhere in the Caucasus. I saw more world classes stunners here, but I also saw more fatties. It was the only country I saw American-style obese women and Slavic model-types walking down the same street. That said, there are still some common features. Similar to Azeris, the vast majority of the population have black hair (around 75&, often curly), dark eyes and prominent angular noses. Bizarrely, there are also some natural blonde hair/blue eyed Armenians, too. Their average height is 158cm (5 ft 2 in). That stat is kinda deceptive, however, as they have the tallest girls and guys we saw in the region (back to the deviation I was talking about).

If you go to the right spots, you will see some of the sexiest girls you’ve seen in your life. Armenians dress more feminine than Georgians, but less so than Azeris. Girls are quite image conscience and take care of their appearance. A top drawer Armenian in the cream of the region.

Demographics: 98% percent of Yerevan are described as ethnic Armenia, while a few thousand Russian, Iranian and other groups account for the rest .

Attitudes: Armenia is the oldest Christian country in the world and people are still very traditional (by European standards, at least). Indubitably, Armenian girls are the most conservative of all Caucasian Christians and are much more sexually reserved than any of their eastern European counterparts. The average age to get married in 24 and it is estimated somewhere between 60% to 80% of Armenian girls are still virgins when they marry. Interestingly, I had more naked Armenians in my bed than any other nationality in the region, but going from foreplay to intercourse was like scaling Mount Ararat. It’s like Armenian chicks have electric buzzers in their vaginas that go off every time they sense a snake in their mists.  A lot of investment is required to nail them down. If you do, prepare for a lot of attention.  The good news is Armenians are very affectionate, feminine and the perfect blend of sexy versus romantic. I’m not the marrying kind, but if I was, an Armenian woman would be top of my list.

Gaming Strategy: The prime day location to pick up is around Opera square, where many girls hang out on the benches or swam lake. Unlike its counterparts Baku and Tbilisi, nightlife here is actually a good (if not the best) option to meet single ‘liberal’ girls. Unlike Azeris, many Armenian girls drink in bars. You’ll still need to work though. That means a few meet-ups (with you paying the bill) and a lot of comfort building. Yerevan is also one of the worst capital cities I’ve been to for ‘big village’ syndrome. For example: On a walk to the park with one of my dates, she got stopped three times by people she knew. The next day I even had a previous girl I dated bump into us. It was terrible awkward and really fucked shit up. So the lesson here is be discreet. Scope out a quite bar near your apartment and minimise time in public. The good news is that English is more prevalent here than Georgia and Azerbaijan! It was a welcome relief from spitting my bad Russian.

The Dirt

Accommodation: I’ll keep it simple: stay somewhere near Opera Square, preferably between there and Pushkin Street (a good bar street). We stayed at a great place off Pushkin for $35 a night, right by our favourite bar. Look no further than this site: Yerevan Apartments.

Getting High: Where to buy marijuana in Tbilisi: Ask the staff at Process basement bar of Moscow Street. Alternatively ask here.

Yerevan marijuana prices: Prices can vary greatly. Usually about $30 for a for a matchbox, but costs vary from around $20 – $40 max.

The Nightlife 

The nightlife scene in Yerevan was my favourite in the Caucasus – but that’s not saying much. You have a good variety of cool bars with decent music and a party atmosphere. Plus, pretty much everywhere is within walking distance. Here are my top picks.

Hemmingway Bar

Very cliquey, small and quiet, but a good place to bring a date and an easy place to make friends. (Not a place to party by any means.)

Calumet

This little basement ethnic bar was probably my favourite bar in the whole region (provided it doesn’t get too packed). Good vibes, Asian decor, GREAT music (often live bands), laid back crowd, cheap beer, cool staff and lot’s a girls dancing. I had a blast here and kissed a few chicas from here too. The quality isn’t always that high though. Pics and videos here.

Bourbon Street

This bar may well have the highest standard of chicks for in any one place for a thousand miles. DAM! This reason for this? If you want to get in you’ll need a member’s card. To get a member’s card, you need to fill in an application form with photo attached. If you’re not hot or in the know, you’re not getting in. Luckily, as a foreigner you can blag your way in. We were luckily as we got on the guest list through a friend. Great bar, not too pretentious either, despite it’s exclusively. Dress sharp. Facebook here.

My Yerevan Experience

I really liked the city. When I hunting for the mother of my child later in life, I may well mine here. As for my experience with the girls, I actually went to bed with three girls in four days there, but I still don’t have a flag to show for it. I got half a dick in two of them momentarily (both virgins), but I’m not counting it. My only consolation is both girls gave me their first blow jobs (or so they say). One of them became a stalker and camped outside my room for hours on end, the other nearly moved to Ireland so we could be together, so I obviously made an impression. Oh, and funny enough, the third girl and I are actually meeting up next month in Ethiopia of all places. (She lives there and technically and Ethiopian flag though…I think). Random, eh? I love Armenian girls. Totally my type… dark, sexy and innocent.

Experience of Others

Unfortunately, I don’t have refs from any male expats in the city, so I asked some Armenian girlfriends to share their thoughts.

Koh, 20, who spent a semester in the States gives her perspective.

Armenian girls being courted before actually going out on a date is an important thing. When it comes to dating, girls here choose the guy they date very carefully. Most of the times they won’t choose a guy they’re not serious about.

Pre-marital sex is a taboo. It’s socially condemned and even talking about it is not really acceptable.

Marriage and family are very important things for Armenian girls, we take it very seriously. While getting an education and earning your own living are important, family will always take first place. Armenian wives are typical house keepers. The divorce rate here is very low, and being divorced is also socially frowned upon.

I’d say 80-90% of my female friends strongly agree with the idea of no sex before marriage.

You can meet nice girls pretty much anywhere. Girls here are very friendly towards visitors, so if you politely approach someone they’ll most likely respond positively. Don’t be cheap. If you like the girl, then no matter what she says and how much she resists, always insist on paying for the bill and escorting her home [Zolo's Comment: Don't the mind the escort, but do offer to pay for drinks like other FSU countries].

Ri, 26, a blonde Armenian, said this.

Armenia is between the Eastern and Western mentality,  but with a bit more focus on the Western thinking and approaches than those of the oriental world. Things are changing. Currently, pre-marital sex is not such a rare thing for those who love each other and want to take up another step [barf], but virginity is still very common in Armenia before marriage.

Armenian girls are quite different from other European girls you might have met in a way, because apart from being quite hot:), we’re also quite caring wives and mums. I know many local girls marrying foreigners, but to get the trust of an Armenian girl is the hardest thing.

Other testimonials from pretty much every guy I talked to who has been there:

It’s fucking hard to hook up.

Other Resources

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

For more info or if you have any questions on Yerevan…

Armenia Discussion Thread

Armenian Brides: What you need to know.

Armenian girls by Claritalux.

Tbilisi in a word: Purty.

Chance of Hooking up: 2 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.25 / 5
Nightlife: 2 / 5
Smoking tolerance: 2 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Bachelor’s budget: $60 per day

Beer: $2 a pint
Bed: $35 per night for an apartment. $12 for a dorm.
Bud: 50GEL ($30) for a matchbox.
Food: $4 for 10 portions delicious Khinkali.

Currency Conversion

Overview 

Tbilisi surprises you. Ancient monasteries perched alongside the mountainside overlook futuristic new buildings. Take a stroll around old town, the river and by the fountains at Europe park and you’ll fall in love with the place. Make sure you get a cable car over the city, too. Great girls, but not easy. Nightlife is shit.

The Girls

Appearance: There is definitely a distinctive Georgian look. A clue to their unique ethnography is evident in the Georgian language, which is neither Indo-European, Turkic nor Semitic. The typical Georgian girl has dark brown hair, slightly sallow skin (similar to Balkan women), exceedingly flat eyebrows and a small Asian-type body. Their average height is 156cm (5 ft 1 in), the smallest in the Caucasus. They are also the lightest. The average standard is probably highest in the Caucasus. However, while finding doable girls is easy, but finding serious hotties is difficult. The frequency of jaw droppers is much higher in Azerbaijan and Armenia. Compared to these countries, the girls are also lighter in skin tone and hair colour.

Georgian girls are also the most Westernised of the lot. Converse shoes, tattoos and body piercings are no uncommon. A lot of the girls tend to dress quite hipster-ish, too. That said, Georgian girl are still more feminine in the way they walk and carry themselves.

Demographics: Tbilisi is a multicultural city (by regional standards). The city is home to more than 100 different ethnic groups. Around 85%+ of the population is ethnically Georgian, with significant populations of other ethnic groups such as Armenians (82,586), Russians (32,580), and Azeris. Along with the above mentioned groups, Tbilisi is also home to various other ethnic groups including Ossetians, Abkhazians, Ukrainians, Greeks, Germans, Jews, Estonians, Kurds, Assyrians, and others.

Attitudes: Georgian girls are most liberal girls in the region—but that’s not saying much. They are still more sexually reserved than any of their eastern European counterparts. The average age to get married in 23 and 20%+ of Georgian girls are still virgins when they marry. Coming from Sweden, girls in Tbilisi seemed liked nuns. Most girls take two or three dates to crack. One stands are very rare. Of all the expats I met, only two had managed to hook up with a local. I also had a friend living here for the whole summer and only managed to get a few kisses. All in all, I’d rate them harder to crack than Lebanese girls, but easier than Armenians.

Gaming Strategy: Options for night game are painfully limited. However, it’s still you’re best option. Day game is like marriage game. Simply put, the girls who go out at night are the only ones who put out. If she smokes, all the better. The good news is Georgian girls are very receptive to approaches, however, you may encounter a few problems.

Firstly, you have the less exotic capital here than anywhere in the Caucasus… especially as an American. In the last three years there has been a torrent of tourists and English teachers coming here. Secondly, many have limited English (hence the teachers). This is changing, but Russian is still the language of love here… like the rest of the Caucasus. Thirdly, nearly all of them live with their parents and have curfews. Finally, they generally require work and investment. Don’t expect a one night stand. It rarely happens. You’re best bet is to build a vibe and get the number, and meet for a date at another time. Don’t be overly concerned about getting a kiss during the pick up. Many girls are shy with their friends around. All the  Caucasus capitals suffer from ‘big village’ syndrome.

The Dirt

Accommodation: You want to stay somewhere on Rustaveli street or Old Town. Personally, I opted for a place mid-way down Rustaveli near the nightlife venues below. BEWARE: Most hostels in Georgia do not allow locals to stay there. If you want to get laid, you have to rent apartment. Period. Unfortunately, apartments in Tbilisi are the more expensive than in Baku and Yerevan. If you ask at Why not hostel (great location and staff), they have the low down on a cheap apartment next door  ($35 a night). For other apartments, check out: Tbilisirent.ge, FeelTbilisi.com & rentals.ge.

Getting High: It is legal to have marijuana if it is under 2 grams.

Where to buy marijuana in Tbilisi: Ask the Rasta dude who works at Canudos bar.

Tbilisi marijuana prices: Prices can vary greatly. Usually about 50GEL ($30) for a for a matchbox, but costs vary from around $20 – $40 max.

The Nightlife 

The nightlife scene in Tbilisi is pretty terrible. In my opinion, it is the worst in the Caucasus. You basically have two options. One is Shardeni Street in Old town: Russian level pretension, expensive drinks, very coupley, older crowd. (I have limited experience of this area). Then there’s a few place off Rustaveli and Freedom square.

The following are not really recommendations, but more of a ‘most tolerable bars’ list.

Chakrulo 

I never recommend restaurants, but I’m making an exception. Start your night here. A slap up Georgian meal and a few draught beers end will cost you next to nothing and you even get to see a show… with the most talented belly dancers you’ll ever see. 38/40 Rustaveli Street.

Salve

Good basement bar place near Freedom square on Shalva Dadiani St 15.  Attract an indie type crowd. Not a good pick up place but a good place to warm up or bring a date.

Café Gallery

Damn, I hate this place. Yet, sadly, this techno hipster gayfest is the often only gig in town- especially mid week.  The good news is it’s consistently busy (more than any bar), the beer is cheap and the women here are the most liberal in the city, so it’s good for scoring. Plus, many of the guys are gay so the competition is lessened. This is the only bar where I’ve heard of a guy getting a one night stand. It’s a pity, because this place would actually be OK if were not for the monotonous unrecognisable drivel being shit out by the DJs there. You’ll undoubtedly end up here at one point.

Canudos

Five minutes walk from Café Gallery…a good place to start the night. As much as we tried to avoid it, we kept coming back here. This tiny little ethnic bar attracts  young ex-pats, Georgian students and hippie types. It can be hit or miss, but one thing that’s consistent is good music and cheap drinks. The layout is not very good for game though… lot’s of low seating with big groups. That said, girls here are receptive. This is where I picked up my Georgian flag. And if you can’t pick up a Georgian, at least there’s a few eager American TLG English teachers around. Facebook page here.

My Tbilisi Experience

Tbilisi acted as our base in the Caucasus. I went with five friends, but that number dropped to two after a few days. In total, I spent about 8 nights here. I found it very difficult to pull. I struck out more times here than anywhere in the region. I went on dates with three different girls (2 from which I met online) and got the odd kiss in the likes of Café Gallery, but ultimately these interactions amounted to little. Conservative attitudes and bad logistics were the reasons for this. I was convinced I wouldn’t get the flag, but my last night I rented an apartment and pulled it off. It took a lot of patient and effort. She was a student I picked up in Canudos and it was my 3rd date with the girl. Totally worth the wait. She had the sexiest little body I’ve experienced in two years. I got lucky.

Experience of Others

I asked two expats to share their experience of the city.

Gary the Fish, 25, a friend and fellow Irishman, who spent the summer in the city gives his thoughts.

Getting the flag seems doable on first impressions (it’s easy to get a kiss), but on further dates, social and religious factors prevent escalation. I worked in a hostel there for three months and stopped making an effort after awhile. If you’re into hipsters, ugly chicks (the easy ones) or gay you may do well. (Although gay people have been known to be beaten up by Orthodox priests!) It was easier to get laid in Iran!

Patrick, 24, from Canada, who has live there for five months had this to say.

Georgian girls are incredibly charming and easy to approach. However, they are always hesitant and prone to second guessing what they really want. There is serious societal pressures. That said, put in a wee bit of investment and anything is possible.

If you do pull it off, don’t expect blowjobs and expect phone calls around 2am from their mothers.

 

Other Resources

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

For more info or if you have any questions on Stockholm…

Georgia Discussion Thread

Dating girls in Georgia by Road Junky.

Sex in Georgia by an English teacher living in Georgia.