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Happiness 101: Sex, Blood, and Art

We all want to be happy. In an age of secularism, relativism, materialism, and nihilistic hedonism, what does it really take to be happy.

Women and men need different things to make them happy. As a man, the only solution for a woman’s happiness I’m willing to offer is an orgasm, so this article is concerned with what it takes to be happy as a modern man.

There are two types of happiness.

1. Happiness in the form of emotion. It is a temporary state. You feel this kind of happiness when you laugh at a joke,  drink with friends, or have sex. You can be unemployed, not getting laid, and be morbidly obese, but still experience this form of happiness.

2. Happiness in the form of your life’s lot. It is a more permanent state. You feel this kind of happiness when you’re progressing in life – your finances are improving, you have healthy relationships, or you’re getting fitter. You might not always be laughing or having as much fun as you’d like, but you can still experience this form of happiness knowing you’re on track to becoming a solid guy.

But often, neither of these things are enough. There are many men who can have it all – money, fame, women, health – but still become depressed drug addicts or simply shoot themselves.

You can fuck, spend, and succeed all you want, but can still experience a void.

I’ve slept in the mansion of a billionaire and the hut of a pauper, and guess who was the happier man by a factor of ten? The pauper.

For my experiences travelling throughout 80 or so countries, I can tell you first hand that many Africans, Chinese, and South East Asians are happier than those in the West.

Don’t get me wrong, money is great and can vastly improve your life, but it is not the be all and end all of existence.

So, what’s the secret to happiness?

How does one fill that inexplicable void?

There are many competing theories from Nietzsche to Freud to Maslow, but let me offer an eclectic theory.

Happiness is Tree-fold

No, that’s not one of my regular typos.

In order to be happy, we need a have a happy brain – and our brain is happy when we use it.

At different stages, different parts of the brain evolved, but all have a function that is advantageous for survival. Much like the ring of a tree truck, the ‘layers’ of the brain have developed through time to make us stronger, but all stem from the root.

Without watering the roots, the tree will wither, but with plenty of the nourishment and care, the tree will blossom.

Of course, trees also need sunshine.

In the West, we are obsessed with sunshine. Over the centuries, we have grown taller than all the other trees and our branches extend far. We get more sunshine than anyone. We are sold sunshine: fast cars, fast women, big houses, shiny rocks, but we have deluded ourselves into thinking that all we need is sunshine to be healthy.

But the tree is fucked.

The leaves at the top have grown so far from the roots, they’re not getting getting the minerals they need and are starting to die and fall off. They are getting plenty of sunshine, but lack nourishment.

To put the metaphor in real terms – as men, the further we distance ourselves from our animalism, the greater that void, the less happy we become.

The ‘root’ of the brain is our genes, and everything else is a layer that serves our genetic imperative in one way or another. The brain has four main layers which have stemmed from the root, and all need to be satisfied for us to experience ‘full’ happiness.

The First Layer: The Reptile

The oldest part of the brain, the reptilian part, motivates us to do the the most basic functions that ensure our genetic survival: eat, drink, sleep, run, fight, fuck, etc.

It the most important layer. If you’re not eating right, not sleeping, or not fucking on a regular basis, you will become stagnant. Before you move on, you must feed the reptile in order to be happy.

Solution: Live well and fuck plenty.

The Second Layer: The Mammal

The mammalian part of the brain is primarily concerned with emotion. It is responsible for pair-bonding, love, fear, sadness, anger, and feeling happy. Without meaningful relationships in your life and experiences that stimulate these emotions, you will become stagnant.

In the West, men neglect this part of themselves the most. Men were built to actively work to survive, not passively exist in front of a computer screen. Anger, violence, the thirst for adventure and to hunt and kill are embedded in men’s brains.

That’s why men love war, sport, and Call of Duty.

Feminism and modern civilised society actually punishes men you act on these masculine emotions in real life. If you reject this part of yourself, as most modern men do, you may forever experience  that ‘void’.

It is a sad truth.

As men, we were born with hammers, but as we grew up, we where told not to hammer a single nail and keep our all of our tools locked up in the box. They have machine for that now.

The modern man is repressed.

To be truly happy, a man must live dangerously, take risks, and exercise his inner beast.

Solution: Seek adventure.

The Third Layer: The Human

The third layer, the neo-cortex, is more evolved in humans than any other primate. It’s primarily concerned with thinking. It’s responsible for civilisation, reason, abstract thought, invention, creativity, and problem solving.

Without cerebral challenges or outlets for invention, you will become stagnant.

A man must always be learning, seeking knowledge, and using his brain feel satisfied and happy.

Solution: Write, build, or create something. Always have a project.

The Forth Layer: The Outer-Cortex

We are all part of the collective.

Genes may work primarily for their own benefit, but as humans we also work for the benefit of the species as a whole. Altruism, compassion, and the desire to preserve life, improve the state of your country and your environment, and are somewhat innate. We are just one part of something much grander. Collective conscientiousness is responsible for religion, war, environmentalism, human rights and international law. Not all of these are good things, but not all are bad.

To achieve total happiness, we must feel like we’ve played our part for our tribe and given something back. We want to honour and to be honoured.

Solution: Contribute to society.

Unfortunately, it is this most outer layer that is most emphasised in the modern era. We are told to be good people and we’ll get rewarded, but this is not the key to happiness. We must work from the roots up, not the other way around.

Before that, you need to get your fix of sex, blood, and art.


8 Responses to Happiness 101: Sex, Blood, and Art

  1. Quentin Shrodax June 19, 2012 at 3:32 am #

    I completely agree with this theory, however it’s not that eclectic. With just a few minor differences, you’ve essentially just rewritten Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

    Also, lol @ the typo misspelling Freud as “Fraud”.

  2. krautz June 19, 2012 at 4:50 am #

    How true.

  3. Eric Disco June 19, 2012 at 12:41 pm #

    “Seek adventure.”

    Excellent. It’s so easy to forget this one. Or maybe we try to forget it on purpose. Like anything else, risk-taking is a habit.

    “Contribute to society.”

    As social animals, this is the most meaningful to us. It’s all about validation. Like you said, validation is neither good nor bad in-of-itself . It’s a primal drive that will affect our happiness.

    Good article.


  4. damo June 19, 2012 at 2:13 pm #

    hey Naughty, this is quite inspired stuff. Have stuck it in my evernote for future reference. Hope the studies are going well, I just finished (on Friday) my own MIR!!

    Keep up the good work!

  5. Aloof June 20, 2012 at 12:10 am #

    ‘, but also work for the benefit of the species as a whole.’

    No they don’t, they only act to replicate themselves and get passed on and being represented, anything that helps in this regard is fair game, any benefits for the species are entirely consequential, otherwise great post and yeah contributing does boost your moral even if it’s not for money.

    Few things suck as much as being unemployed and sitting on your arse doing nothing.

  6. david June 22, 2012 at 9:37 am #

    Hey NN love your website, only an irishman could have stories this funny. Btw im travelling right now and your post on text game helped me get laid last night.

    Your living life to its fullest. The way you travel with no fear to these dangerous countries shows others that they can do the same. Love the flagging concept as well lol

  7. Hendrix July 7, 2012 at 10:13 pm #

    Great way of summing it all up.

  8. Luna July 31, 2012 at 9:01 pm #

    Great post Naughty, as a woman I wish all men would rebel and reach their potential in such a way, it would also liberate us women in unimaginable ways. From suits and rigid lives to liberating lifestyles where nothing is taboo. I like that you combine improving oneself and always seeking adventure with leaving a positive mark in our society, that’s the way to go!

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