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Snapshot: Amsterdam (the Netherlands)

Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Amsterdam.

What are one’s first impressions of Amsterdam?

A typical view...

What’s that delicious smell? Hmm….

What the!? – That cyclist nearly knocked me over! I almost ended up in the canal.

Welcome to one of the most liberal cities the world.

…also the city where you’re most likely to be milled out of it by a cyclist.

Canals abound and everywhere in the city centre may feel the same, but turn the right corner and you’re greeted by the waft of marijuana from a nearby “coffeshop”, or come-ons from brazzers in the windows at the red light district.

It may be expensive, but Amsterdam certainly isn’t boring.

As a weed smoker, this place is be Zion mon.

What are the women like?

.

If you like tall women, you’re in the right place – Dutch people are the tallest people in the world. Dutch girls typically have fair hair and light eyes. They are moderately attractive and friendly enough, but put minimal effort into their appearance. They also have no idea have to dress sexy. I suspect the reasons for this is the sex ratio is their favour. At night, the cock-to-tail ratio is among the worst I’ve seen in Europe. The city is plagued with sleazy dudes. The biggest problem with Amster-dames is actually finding them after-hours.

Apart for the ethnic Dutch, the city is very multi-cultural. There are significant numbers of Indonesians, Turkish, Moroccans & Surinamese, Africans, and of course – tons of tourists. Regardless, between the smoke, the mushrooms and the boozing, you’ll more than likely be running zombie game (not the most effective).

Daytime is by far your best bet for picking up in Amsterdam. If you’re looking for a Dutchie – waitresses, bargirls and promoters are good options. Just get of the tourist trail where they’re not being harassed by hordes of stage parties.

Where should I go at night-time?

The two main squares for nightlife are called Leidseplein square & Rembrandt square. The former has more options and is where we spent most of our time. We hit well over half a dozens spots and the best place we found was a place called Pirates bar. Also recommended in Paradiso nearby, and Escape on Rembrandt.

Even more recommended is the nearest kebab place. Hmm… munchies 🙂

Any other recommendations?

Check out the Red Light District. It’s 30 mins walk from the nightlife and the novelty of hookers in windows wears off fast, but a walk around this shady part of town is mandatory for every first-time visitor.

Bottom Line

Prepare to get fucked up.

 

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18 Responses to Snapshot: Amsterdam (the Netherlands)

  1. Monty March 5, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    nice place Amsterdam we used to hear stories about marijuana and all. In India also in Manali(Northern Himalayan area) we have good quality of marijuana which maybe available in Amsterdam.
    i just saw an documentary film about Red Light Area in Amsterdam http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/red-light-blues/
    its nice

  2. William March 6, 2012 at 3:04 am #

    You hit the nail on the head on Amsterdam, go get high for a couple of days and go home because the place get boring in a hurry!

  3. Socialkenny PUA March 8, 2012 at 3:19 am #

    I’ve been feeling the Netherlands as of late.It’s next on my radar to travel to.
    I hear Trance music is huge over there.I’m an electronic music nut.I hope it’s really big there for me to enjoy lol.

  4. Socialkenny PUA March 17, 2012 at 4:47 am #

    I hear that Trance and Electronic music is large in Amsterdam.Rumor or what?

    • Naughty Nomad March 17, 2012 at 11:27 am #

      True!

  5. Boom Boom May 5, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

    Trance is not so huge… Most people hate it and we deport our DJ’s elsewhere, where people have no taste.

    @naughtynomad, Maybe you should put the folowing into your article.. Starting this year and effective everywhere of 2013 is the weed pass… Some sort of pass you only get when your dutch, to keep out the tourists from the cofeeshops. So no more legal weed if your not dutch. Thank you EU!

    Not a lott of people are happy about it here. Since you only get a pass in the city you live in.. So if you go down south if your dutch you wont even get legal weed yourself if you are from the north 🙂

    • Michael July 13, 2014 at 7:21 am #

      I guess they can go to Washington or Colorado, Weed is now legal in both states…

  6. Jimi July 3, 2012 at 5:58 pm #

    How long do you typically stay in a country, Naughty Nomad?

    • Naughty Nomad July 4, 2012 at 11:30 am #

      It depends. Outside Europe – usually just 1-3 weeks depending on the country’s size. I wish I could spend more time, but I’m trying to visit EVERY country.

  7. TheNonsenser November 15, 2012 at 9:22 am #

    Nice article.

    I lived two years in Amsterdam in 2011 & 2012. I fully agree on the fact that women put little effort in their clothing. It’s part of their “efficient” culture and the fact that they hate spending money. They don’t show interest into fashion and anyway it costs money.

    Dutch women are very easy to approach, they will not show you attitude and will be quite surprised that a man is actually flirting with them because, unless drunk, Dutch men don’t put any effort and are terrible at flirting.

    I have not had any chick/dude ratio issues unless you hit the touristic places (Leidseplein & Rembrandtplein or the red light district). There is mainly guy tourists because of weed & hookers. So go away from these places. I would run away from club “Escape”.

    Places that I recommend:
    – Bar Italia on thursday nights (not week-ends). The best chick/dude ratio after 1 in the morning
    – For chilling evenings: Gerard Douplein in district “De Pijp” is a very cool place with many bars. Lovely in the summer. No tourists at all. You might hear English but that’s coming from expats
    – Club “Air”. Great electro music. Check out their website before going there I once ended up in a gay-only event…
    – bar/club “Werck” on Prinsengacht was my favourite place for quite a while. No tourist once again
    @ Social Kenny: for good electro I highly recommend “Trouw”. But not for picking up women
    – There are many outdoor festivals during the summer where 10s of thousands of young Dutch get wasted. Many many Dutch take extasy, it’s cheap and efficient. Even the nice girls take it. I personally hate festivals but many of my buddies got laid there
    – Difficult to get in but “Jimmy Woo” is where there are the most arrogant but also good looking ladies in Amsterdam

    I have noticed that Dutch women are not good in bed. They are too much down to earth and have trouble “losing i”t. They’re too rational. But there are exceptions to the rule.

    @ Naughty Nomad: I would suggest that you consult “locals” when you’re typing your posts you might get really good recommendations (although I do find your article quite acurate). I can tell you more about Paris & Oslo.

    The Nonsenser

    • Brazilian Shark September 10, 2014 at 10:52 pm #

      Guys, I really enjoyed reading both of your testimonials. I had a lot of fun reading the articles about Stockholm and Oslo (Naughty Nomad). I would like to ask you both (Nonsenser and Nomad) what places do you recommend in those cities and if a Sunday and Monday night could offer a nice and crowded venue in Oslo?

      I only have 11 days. I would fly on a Thursday and go back on the following Sunday. I thought about doing a Friday and Saturday in Stockholm, a Sunday and Monday in Oslo, go back to Stockholm and go out on Wednesday and Thursday and go to Amsterdam on Friday. My concern is missing strong nights in Oslo since I am interested in getting locals – not tourists.

      Obrigado!

  8. Martina May 30, 2013 at 7:46 pm #

    Completely agree with the Nonsenser, thanks for the bar places tips

  9. KingKong October 23, 2013 at 9:57 pm #

    Lads, does anyone know if Amsterdam is nice to visit during winter? what happens to picking up girls and where is it advice to get your flag?

  10. player king of lisbon city December 2, 2013 at 5:49 pm #

    hey mark, i don’t you do more city guides for western countries like portugal, spain, uk, usa and so on???
    and you should also do a city rating for the language barrier in each city.
    btw great job i love the website

  11. David January 7, 2016 at 6:46 pm #

    Dear Naughty Nomad,

    There is no City Guide Ratings for Amsterdam! Explain why?
    Please add Guide Ratings for Amsterdam!

    Thanks!

  12. New Traveller October 6, 2016 at 8:41 am #

    Awesome reading NaughtyNomad!! i especially enjoyed your guide to Brno!! 😀

    Tell me, if someone were to go to Amsterdam as a couple, what would your recommendations be mate?

    • Mark Zolo October 6, 2016 at 10:58 am #

      Just don’t go for the strongest weed on the menu!

  13. Madish July 13, 2017 at 8:59 pm #

    Someone please tell me does the weed is illegal for tourists in Amsterdam?
    And whats the weed quality out there?

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