One More Beer: My first (epic) night in the Dominican Republic
OK. It’s just past midday and I’m still in fucking bits from last night, so do forgive any mispelling or incoherence. My first night in DR went a little somthing like this…
10PM: FUCK LONELY PLANET. I hit the town solo in Zona Colonia, the main area of the captial city, Santo Domingo. Like a twat I try out a few bars from the so called “traveler’s bible”. Call me a heretic, but they really don’t have a clue. The guys who write up those guides are obviously sterile and probably spend most of their time gettin’ info online, in between looking at porn on their dorm bed. Anyway, Zona wasn’t up to much for a Thursday, so I bouced.
1AM: FUCK LONG PANTS. Following a solid tip left by one of the guys on Roosh’s forum, I took a long walk to Venezuela Street. The street had a few decent looking places, all packed with just locals. It looked promising, but I got refused entry to every single bar because I was in a t-shirt, shorts and runners. Bad buzz…
2AM: FUCK MY LIFE. You should have seen me. Depressed. Alone. Gazing at a flat beer at some shitty roadside burger joint. I dwell on the empty nature of a swagabond’s life. Here lies the Naughty Nomad… what a fuckin’ tit. Rather than bear the lonely 40 mintue walk back to my hostel, I just get in a taxi and retire.
3AM: FUCK SLEEP. I decide to grab one more beer. Maybe, just maybe, there would be somewhere close by that was open a few heads knockin’ about.
3.30AM: FUCK PENSIONERS. The only place I could find with people was a cramped little karaoke joint full of geriatrics. After a few drinks enduring old couples slow dancing to discordal trife, I make polite conversation with two women in their 40′s. One of them is moderately attractive and is the proprietor of an afterhour’s bar. She gives me her card. The name of bar is Cafe de Toi.
3.45: FUCK DOMINICAN DRUG DEALERS. On a trip to the ATM, I meet a local guy who hooks me up with a little ganja. He seems alright, so I invite him for a beer. We go to the Cafe de Toi and the guy turns out to be a leech who keeps asking for money for his family. Gone. I stay drinking with this entertaining gay guy from San Fran.
4.30AM: FUCK, I’M DRUNK. By this stage the owner of the bar has arriving, and is throwing free shots and beers into me like there’s no tomorrow. I’m having fun, feeling rather gregarious and peacocking with a white bandana. The bar is pretty much empty but I get talking to the only single girl in the place. Lucky for me, she’s hot. She is a tall latina, with great tits and a whopper ass. Her name is Alma, she’s only 19. It just so happens, she’s Miss Dominican Republic for Miss American Continent!!! You can see some pics of her here and here. I do the cube on her. Her response: “I’m going to rape you.” She was serious…
5.00AM: FUCK. She drive’s us back to my place, we wonder up to an empty room in the hostel and close the door behind us. I’ll leave the rest up to your filthy imaginations. Things got ultraviolent. Needless to say, it was fucking awesome.
RIGHT NOW: Man I’m feeling good. First night, flag captured in style. I’ve even sobered up while writing this post too! Fantastic.. now I got to find somewhere to stay tonight… the journey carries on.
What have we learned? You never know wher one more beer might lead you…
….
BTW- If you want proof this actually happened, click here.
Wow, great report. That caliber of girl alone at the bar at 4:30am? Wow… I’m looking forward to reading how you would compare the Latina girls in the Caribbean and Central Americas to the girls in Riga and the Ukraine of whom you rated very highly… have fun!!!
Well done old boy! Am totally proud of you! The pics of the Latina are very hot! Really not bad game for 4:30 on a Thursday night!
99% chance she’s a semi pro and that place is a hooker (or hooker friendly) bar. Don’t forget that zona colonial is where mostly gold hunters and gringos come. Single girls never go out alone in DR. They go out in couples or with friends (mixed). 2 girls together = Most likely putas. In Calle Venezuela normal girls from below middle class go and it’s super easy to pick up. Beware of spiked drinks anywhere in DR! Watch your drinks carefully, also when the bartender prepare them. Stay out of Zona Colonial and get used to leeches, even normal girls are leeches. Expect to pay propinas for her family and provide her with call credits if you want to stay in with her. Perfectly normal even for local guys to get leeched. Read the dr1.com forum. It’s a very complex country so be aware.
You sure that “Miss DR” wasn’t really the 40 year old proprietor you chatted up earlier?
“By this stage the owner of the bar has arriving, and is throwing free shots and beers into me like there’s no tomorrow.” Yep, there we gotcha. It was her.
What the locals told me: “He who drinks Brugal at night either ends up fucking or fighting.” Tasty stuff, both the rum and the beer. And the cigars. And the women.
Enjoy Santo but get elsewhere pronto. The DR has so much more to offer.
I love the ‘just one more beer’ SNLs. I have a very similar story from BA with an Argie chick who wanted me to slap her around while I was banging her.
What’s your total flag count at now? Since the DR has been captured, which two are on your flag radar?
Hmm.. Haiti anyway, and any other carribean country… my flag count is 31.
That story is 100% legit amigo. I took that beauty queen down.
That chick is a model, so she’s no pro.
Last night I hit Venezuela and that was a different story. Picked up no problem… she was defo on the game but I shored her.
It doesn’t top EE in terms of general standar, but you got great T and A here. DAM! And when they’re hot, they’re very hot.
Wow, seems like a fun wild night out… Glad to hear you captured your first Dominican flag. That also sucks about the Lonely Planet guide. You are right a majority of the venues they put on there are pretty lame!!
Well if it really happened then you had a ton of luck running into such a dime at that place and that time of the night. It speaks for your skill that you took her down so easily. Congratulations then! Keep the reports coming…
The funny thing is, it didn’t take much skill. She was actually quite predatory. The luck of the Irish
Haha bless that one more beer, she’s smoking hot man. By the way I’m waiting for the New Yorker to comment on the post haha.
Bullshit.
100% fact.
[...] of sexy chicks about to take home. No shit, I actually hooked up with that girl in the picture my first night in in DR. However, most Dominican women look more like Arlenis Sosa pictured [...]
If anyone wants proof, email me.
[...] #5. In a drunken stupor, he banged Miss Dominican Republic. [...]
[...] #5. In a drunken stupor, he banged Miss Dominican Republic. [...]
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