Top Bar

5 Steps to get in flow: An NLP technique


Over the week I had the pleasure of going to see Richard Bandler at the seminar in Dublin. Some of you may know Richard from the book The Game, but let me refresh your memory. Richard is co-inventor of NLP (neuro lingistic programming) and a world reknown author and intellectual. For those of you into pick up, the most notable student of Brandler NLP was Ross Jeffries. Others students have included Neil Strauss & David DeAngelo.

A friend of mine, an NLP master pracitioner and MD of Headcase, offered me a spare ticket (thanks Cormac!). He also introduced me to one of Bandlers co-authors: Owen Fitzpatrick, as well as female dating coach Singalista.  We all got on, so we gathered to indulge in the ancient Irish tradition of a few pints.

Owen was the presenter and mastermind behind RTÉ’s TV show ‘Not Enough Hours’, and also a fellow swagabond having visiting 68 countries (including North Korea). He was keen to hear of my exploits. When I regaled him of some of tales he got so engaged he handed me a free copy of his book and signed it for me. I was chuffed. Owen you’re probably reading this so I’d like to say thanks again!

I also had a very interesting chat with Singalista, who recently went on 40 dates in 40 days for lent – purely research of course. She gave me the low down on Irish PUA bootcamps and told us a great story about a date with German PUA that even trumps my worst date ever. It ended up with him running down the road after her shouting “You’re the one! You’re the one!”. Funny stuff.

But I digress. What’s the common denomatior here? NLP.

Now I’m going to help you guys out with a basic application. This is a little technique my friend Cormac taught me. This is great for when you need to get in flow before you start approaching woman.

The Technique…

1. Imagine you’re about to approach a beautiful women – a 9/10. Are you nervous? If not, good for you, you don’t need to be here. If yes, you have approach anxiety like the rest of us. I want you to figure out where that anxiety is coming from. Maybe it’s your chest, your stomach, your left nut – whatever. For the purposes of this exercise, I want you to manifest that anxiety as a spinning ball of energy inside you. What colour is it? What way is it spinning? Visualize it.

2. Now take that ball of energy out of your body and hold it in your hand. Stop it spinning. Change the colour to a calm, cool blue.

3. Now bounce it, and imagine taking a few basketball shots. You swish through the basket everytime and the ball bounces right back to you. Feel good don’t it? Keep doing it.

4. When your ready, get the ball spinning in the opposite direction to what it did originally.  Stick the energy back inside you. Spin it faster and faster. Let that cool blue energy transcend your whole being. You’re solid, you’re mellow.

5. Approach.

Maybe you have your own techniques to help with approach anxiety? Please share…

, , , , , , , , ,

7 Responses to 5 Steps to get in flow: An NLP technique

  1. Darren October 10, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    Looking back at the girls i have banged that didnt approach me first ive just caught on to what i do.

    Inside my head i shout out FUCK IT, and i mean i imagine roaring these words to drown out any thoughts of doubt. By the time iv stopped roaring it iam already spitting out my opener.

    Ill be sure to try out your technique i wonder if it really can turn anxiety into something useful.

  2. Jesse October 12, 2011 at 6:47 pm #

    Awesome advice. I’m going to try it

  3. RichardMelbourne October 15, 2011 at 8:26 am #

    I`ve never been good at all that PUA technique stuff of learning approaches, escalating, memorizing lines and stories etc…..
    I`ve always preferred the Zan Perrion direct ways of approaching women.
    Just tell them like it is pretty much. Fuck it exactly, If i think the girl is hot i`ll let them know that, if i want to be with that girl I`ll let her know that.
    Keep it fun and relaxed and you`ll be suprised how successful you can be with the girls.

  4. Jordan November 14, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

    new reader, love your stuff.

    i’m not trying to be a one upper or anything, but since we’re on the topic, check this guy out:

  5. David Christie August 18, 2012 at 7:41 pm #

    Geez.. It’s no wonder women – especially western women – are so intractably fucked up.

    If every time you ventured out of your house some drooling clown was stalking (approaching) you, you might start thinking the opposite sex was nothing but a pack of slavering animals too.

    • Naughty Nomad August 18, 2012 at 8:12 pm #

      We are animals. And who isn’t fond of the odd slavering?


  1. The Pickup Artist Fake Or Real | Stylelife Blog - May 7, 2015

    […] for a casual encounter, make sure to talk about yourself and be energetic, but you don’t yet know yourself in the market to the most when racing analogies are made with 95% cotton and 5% spandex. While cotton makes the […]

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.