Every man has a leviathan – a Moby Dick – a demon that will haunt them lest they be slain.

The Leviathan can take many forms. In the modern era, many a man’s leviathan comes in a more alluring form: that of the foreign wench.

Every man has had a fantasy of pillaging the loins of some exotic beauty from a different country. Ever since you first jerked off as a spotty teen you’ve thought about them…

The Japanese Schoolgirl

The Arabian Belly-dancer

The Platinum Blonde Swede

For scurvy folk suffering from obesity and a micropenis,  their Levitation might just be getting laid in the first place! While for more seasoned player, their Levitation may come in the form a threesome - preferably with twins or some sort of sick mother/daughter combo you can tell your mates about.

I myself have slain many of my Leviathons.

For years, my first Ménage á trois and an Arabian belly dancer were top of the list. But now that I’ve cast them to the deep, as a dirty flagger, my Leviathans now show up on my flag radar.

My most recent one was the Chinese flag.

Ach! For years the red dragon has been my demon. I even went to fucking China for three weeks in 2008 and have no flag to show for it. While I did get lucky in Shanghai & Hong Kong, they were with foreigners. I’ve even tried it on with them at home and nada. With 1.3 billion Chinese, she was the fattest Liviathon of them all. Loads my friends had captured the red dragon, but I was getting nowhere. It haunted me.

The Hunt

A few months ago, you may remember talking about a super cute Chinese girl I met during  my weekend ramble in Cork. She asked me to meet her for a drink after I dazzled her with my Mandarin, but I was seeing her Greek friend at the time so I put her on hold. But with New Year came new beginnings…

I recently asked her out, but this girl was hard work. She had her first kiss at 21. Now at 23, she’s been going out with her Chinese boyfriend for over a year. He’s was the first and only man she’s ever had sex with (and they’ve only ever done missionary position!). Luckily for me, he’s studying in Canada.

Our first few dates were no picnic. After the 2nd freakin date, I only managed to get a measly kiss on the cheek! I just couldn’t figure out her suppressed Chinese conditioning. It was frustrating but I stuck with it, determined to harpoon the dragon.

Then I read this excellent article on Gaming Chinese Girls that proved to be golden.

The next date, only last week, she offered to cook dinner for me at her place. She tried to poison me with the worst meal of my life (ever had grew glue soup? Uggh!), but I persisted and exacted my revenge with cream of sum hung guy. I went super – caveman, ignored her resistance, tore off her clothes, and left her stewing naked for awhile. When I escalated again, I found her hairy Chinese vagina was dripping in anticipation – that deceptive beast.

During sex, she was so ashamed of  cheating on her boyfriend she actually covered her face with a pillow and made whining noises like a toddler. It was so annoying I had to flip her around and finish off in froggy style while she just lay there and nervously whimpered. It was the worst sex of my life.

Afterwards, she told me she falling in love with me. Yikes!

But my Leviathan was slain and the Chinese flag was captured! ARGH!

Next, Saudi Arabia!

…well maybe not. There’s fat chance of that happening so I’ll have to set my sights a little lower. Mother Russia perhaps.

What’s your Leviathan? 

Shanghai in a word: Energetic.
C.O.H: 3 / 5
Q.O.G: 4 / 5
S.T.L: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: Around  €1 a beer.
Bed: €12 for a private  room.
Bud: €30 for a big block of hash.
Board: €1 for a meal.
Budget other: It’s a big city, so budget for taxis at night.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Shanghai is the most liberal city on the mainland. The old town has great character and if you’re looking girls this is probably the best place in China.

The Girls

My jaw dropped a few times in this city. This author is convinced the Chinese government forces the hottest chicks in the country to migrate to Shanghai to breed superwomen. This city represents the creme de la creme of a billion people. Unfortunately this comes at a price. There are plenty of materialistic and pretentious girls here and there are a lot of foreign men on the hunt. Language can be a definite issue.  Does that mean those of us who roll into town without a clue can score? YES WE CAN. Make adjustments to your game to suit the culture, but know it might take a bit of time to crack the case. Ex-pats become experts at it. Social proof is key here. Go where the girls speak English, that unfortunately means the tourist areas, same applies in the day. Take a look on-line too.

Nightlife Recommendations

Shanghai nightlife is not something you can swallow up in a weekend. Here are some place worth checking out if your only here few awhile.

Babyface
This nightspot is jam packed with stunning girls. The crowd may be a little pretentious but it’s busy every night.

The Bund

This area has few nightspots and a good place to find English speakers.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Legislation: Any drug use or associated activity is highly illegal in China, and many people are exucuted by the state for drug crimes every year, including some foreigners. But according to Lonely Planet \”Shanghai\” it is unsure what line the police would take with a foreign person caught using marijuana, but usaully they don’t seem to mind what foreigners do behind closed doors, as long as it doesn’t invovlve a native chinese person.

Law enforcement: Our reports say if you’re caught by the cops with over 20 grams of weed or hash, you’re fucked. its execution. the cops don’t really know what weed looks or smells like so no need to worry

Where to buy marijuana in Shanghai:
Incredibly easy transaction here. Just head to East Nanjing Road, wait to be solicited for a “sexy lady massage”, and simply ask the solicitor if he has hashish. Generally, they will make a call and you’ll have the hash in your hand within 10 minutes.

Marijuana Prices in Shanghai: 500 RMB for 1.8 oz or their abouts
It’s easy to get ripped off but generally it’s 300 – 700rmb for a nice ball of hashish, quality is not consistant, another reporter added: “1) 3000 Y for 40g of gold dusty hash. Type of hash that give you a sleep and munchies buzz. Not to strong so you can still go out and play in the city.

My Shanghai Experience

I really want to write a separate blog on this one. Basically I end up going a date with the most beautiful girl;  a model who happened to be a Triad boss’s under-age daughter. She had to bring a bodyguard. We managed to ditch the bodyguard in a “I have to go to the bathroom” manoeuvre. We escaped to the streets… to be continued.