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How to smuggle drugs across 7 borders in Africa

Step 1) Buy a kilo of weed in Ethiopia for less than $5.

Step 2) Take an 18 hour ride on top of an armed convey to Nairobi and bribe the guards at the Kenyan border.

Step 3) Arrive in Nairobi, then get stoned and go on safari

Step 4) Go to Uganda (they don’t check the bus)

Step 5) Get stoned and go white water rafting. YEAH!!

Step 6) After that, get stoned and decide to go into North Kivu, an active warzone in the Congo! YEAH!!

Step 7) Arrive in the Congo and realise you’re a idiot… Why are you in the Congo? This was such a bad idea. I mean, you could get killed… don’t spend too long here. Travel through the jungle bribing the various militia with cigarettes and booze hoping they don’t slice you open…

Step 8 ) Get to the UN protected area of Goma, PHEW! (bribe the guards so they don’t find your stash)

Step 9) Realise there’s no electricity here and pay for a bed in the local brothel with your cheap-ass Ethiopian weed. It’s good currency here.

Step 10) Wake up, get stoned and decide it was more fun outside the UN proctected area.

Step 11) Get to your nearest Pymgy tribe and celebrate a local wedding! WAY HAY!

Step 12) Illegally enter Rwanda (with the weed)

Step 13) Get on a plane to Kilimanjaro (they probably don’t check the machines)

Step 14) Go to Zanzibar (distract the bag inspector) and sell some of the weed to the rastas – who sell to the tourists. Now you gotz money!

Step 15) Get stoned on a train to Zambia (hell give the train attendant a blow!)

Step 16) Get stoned and bungee jump over Victoria falls!

.Step 17) Get sto…. wha…  hey what happened all the weed?

4 Responses to How to smuggle drugs across 7 borders in Africa

  1. naughtynomad April 30, 2010 at 9:43 am #

    Sorry, that was a stupid post… I was stoned.

  2. Blunt_Twistin October 10, 2010 at 12:47 am #

    L O L O L O L !!!!!!

  3. Fuqedatstep6 June 10, 2014 at 2:33 pm #

    Hey bro!
    I got hung up at the brothel in step 9 and smoked more of the weed than I should have – or they did! And then at some point I woke up here back at step 6!!!

    WTF Do I do now, wait for you to come back around???!!!!

  4. Fuqedatstep6 June 10, 2014 at 2:52 pm #


    Grab an xtra key or 2 for me on your way back through step 1, just so I don’t get hung up at step 9 again. Those ho’s ain’t cheap!!! You didn’t put that in your little instruction manuel!!!

    WTF Bro!!! You try’n to get a nigga kilt?!!!!!
    And hurry up wit my sh1t!!!

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