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3 First Steps To Get Over Her

So you’ve just broken up with your former sweetie-pie.

It feels like your world’s crumbled. You’ve prayed to Google to help stop the pain and now here you are.

Welcome to the club. It happens the best of us.

It could have been cheating, substance abuse, or migration, but either way the results are the same: debilitating heartbreak.

‘Heartbreak’ doesn’t quite describe it though, does it?

You let your guard down, ignored the red flags, fell in love, and now it feels like somebody churned your soul through a meat grinder, fed it the hounds, and whatever was left in the dog-shit was left for the flies.

You are that lonely turd right now.

I know, right? Awful.

Okay, first things first.

Step 1: Get disgracefully drunk

I mean coma-drunk.

This is not beer time, this is whiskey time.  Even if you hate whiskey, drink up (what’s a little more suffering?). You’re a grown-ass man, and if you’re a going to cry while singing Radiohead into a bottle, by the gods it better be a whiskey.

Now let go. Empty out. I want you to feel everything until you feel nothing.

Good. Now you should probably chug some water and knock out. You probably haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep since this mess, and it will do you some good.

Step 2: Talk to friends.

Repeat Step 1, but this time with friends. That’s what they’re there for.

Hibernating at home and wallowing in self-pity won’t do you any good or speed up this process. You don’t need time to ‘absorb’ these feelings to get over them. You need to unload them and distract yourself. Don’t bottle it up.

Share your feelings with some good friends. That may sound a little lame to some, but trust me, you’ll feel better. Most guys have been hurt bad at some stage, so they know how it feels. Ask them how they got through it. Even if they give you shitty advice, it helps to talk.

Step 3: Get laid fast, but no fuglies.

You may have heard the adage “get under somebody to get over somebody”, and I believe it to be true.

The best thing you can possibly do to help your recovery is to sleep with other women. I say women plural because too many guys end up getting overly-attached to their rebound, using them like methadone to ween themselves off the love drug.

Try and sleep with at least two girls and avoid getting into any serious relationships. You are vulnerable right now and you need perspective, and having more than one option will give you that.

I’ve also found that this step is only as effective as the attractiveness of your rebound. You should try to sleep with somebody reasonably good-looking, preferably on par or better looking that your ex—or at least have a nice body.

You may think banging the first troll that waddles along is going help you, but it will have the opposite effect. It will lower your self-worth even further.

You better than that, bro.


Anyway, these are the first three steps I’ve found most effective to getting over heartbreak.

If you really want to fast-track your recovery you could do all three in one night!

What do you think?

Is there any thing that helps you with a bad break up?

Share your thoughts and leave a comment.

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9 Responses to 3 First Steps To Get Over Her

  1. qwerty June 15, 2016 at 9:41 pm #

    Well, your ‘prescription’ might have different effect on each person. There is no universal cure that can be applied on those who had troubles in relationships with women/men. But things you pointed out might work partially. From time perspective I can say that point 2 – getting coma-drunk wouldn’t probably work for me. However, point 3 would work like a charm :))) Cheers

    • qwerty June 15, 2016 at 9:44 pm #

      I meant point 1 instead of point 2. Actually, point 2 could have quite an interesting result as speaking with people poses a good solution to relationship issues.

  2. qwerty June 15, 2016 at 9:49 pm #

    Irish yoga :))))))))))

  3. Curt June 16, 2016 at 1:54 am #

    Yes, get disgracefully drunk. Then you need to approach lots of women. And tell them all about your breakup and how sad you are and your deepest worries that you’ll never find love or be happy again because deep down you think you’re an unattractive loser. Tell them all about all the cute things that your ex did that you’ll miss. You can even cry a little. Don’t worry, they’re girls, you’re allowed to do that kind of stuff with them.

    Before you know it, you’ll be swimming in rebound pussy.

  4. Cliff June 16, 2016 at 5:00 am #

    I don’t know, the last time I hooked up with a (good looking) chick after my break up, the next day I didn’t feel any better. I think I just needed time and friends instead.

    Btw, any advice on what to do when a month later you’re just starting to get over it, and you receive a call from the ex who is drunk and horny?

    I gave in, but now we’re just repeating the same stupid cycle again…

    • Curt June 17, 2016 at 3:52 am #

      Damn, dude, me too! With the same result.

    • ZippyFu June 18, 2016 at 1:04 am #

      A month later and you get the “fuck me,” call. It’s cool. Bang the ex AND keep plowing fresh fields for a new harvest of pussy.

      As long as it’s just sex and not activities that imply commitment, like dates, hanging with old friends as a couple, and heaven forbid, living together. When you say you’re repeating the cycle, this is what I think you’re talking about. The whole idea of breaking up with a girl is to break the cycle. You can still cherry-pick the things from your relationship — which for the majority of guys was access to her vagina — and let her keep the rest of the baggage that led you to break up.

      The one thing that was good with the ex was the sex. So, I’ll reward her with an occasional overnight sex romp at a cheap hotel. However, I avoid doing anything else that hints of dating or relationship type stuff.

      It’s also important to drop hints about other women orbiting around to remind her that she’s not “the one” and she shouldn’t expect such. If you’re still gaming then I find there’s a steady stream of text, Facebook messages, etc coming in from my orbiters. There’s nothing that says you’re in demand than your phone beeping, chirping and flashing while your with your ex. If you don’t have a steady stream of incoming texts, than get out there and get some phone numbers. Or, if you must, setup a service to send yourself texts periodically while you’re with your ex.

      If anything, my ex is finally addressing some of the issues that led to our breakup, especially her weight. However, I don’t let her think that even if she becomes a skinny-mini that she’ll ever be the “one” again. She had her shot at the title and blew it. But if she’s willing to blow me every once in a while I’ll commend her on her efforts with a hot creamy facial.

  5. Henry June 22, 2016 at 5:52 am #

    You claim to have banged over 100 girls in over 60 countries.
    So how many times have you been “heart-broken” or how many hearts have you broken? Kinda funny to read about this topic from a heavy PUA like yourself who normally teaches people to be uncaring and bang as many chicks as possible. Doesnt make too much sense, does it?!

    • Mark Zolo July 7, 2016 at 1:14 pm #

      I’ve never claimed to be a PUA. And just because I slept with a lot of women doesn’t mean I’ve never had a serious relationship or been hurt in the past.

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