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Dili City Guide

I took this on Dili beach

Dili in a word: Occupied.
C.O.H: 2 / 5
1.5 / 5
S.T.L: ?
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£
Beer: Around €2.50
Bed: €10 for a dorm
Bud: ?
Board: €10 for a basic pizza.
Budget other: Dili is expensive because of the UN presence, taxi trips to Dili beach are around $3.
Currency Conversion


Lazy, small and chilled out. Only problem –  the place is occupied by loud mouth, sleazy UN  soldiers. As a result the place is expensive and the locals will often presume you are one of them. Put let them know you’re a tourist and they will warm and treat you like family. Dili beach is GREAT – beautifully clean with incredible sunsets.

'Liberated' Dili chick

The Girls

The culture here is very conservative and 95% of women don’t drink alcohol. East Timorese faces are not as attractive as their Indo counterparts. However on a rare occasion, you do encounter the odd good looking one –  particularly those mixed with Portuguese blood. Alas, some nightspots will be 90% male. The other 10% are mostly ex-pat women. If you’re lucky, when you’re on at prowl there might be  1 or 2 doable Timorese girls – tops. It may seem difficult to pick here with all the muscular miltary competition, but if you’re in flow you can do it! The girls here have great bodies by the way! Aside from the vapid nightlife you can pick up the locals with day game. If you do, be warned there’s a good chance you could end up with a virgin. If you’re the first guy they have sexual relations with, be prepared for constant texts, email  and declarations of “I love you! I love you”. It’s not cool, trust me.

Nightlife Recommendations
You have limited choices during the week. But if you want the REAL Dili…

Follow the music

Change partners!

Follow the music into the slums. 20 minutes later you will find a clearing PACKED with Timorese girls and guys. There’s no alcohol, just ballroom dancing. You will be the only white people, and treated like celebrities as a result. Every song the first man who asks a girl to dance gets the privilege. They will dance with you NO problem. These girls are nearly all virgins and rarely speak English but it makes for an unforgettable night and is great fun!

Dancing at slum party!

Other nightlife:


Thursday nights here are the best craic in Dili! Anyone who’s anyone comes here. There’s live music and a good female options. You can hook up, but you need to put an effort in.

Castaway Bar
Good place to brings dates!

Getting High

It’s hard to find. Look for your nearest Canadian expat.

My Dili Experience

Somehow, I got lucky twice here. Once by a rich Indonesian cutie  who picked me up in her car after I gave her my number in a bar. She wined and dined me, then brought me back to her place. The second time was my last night in Dili. I went to motion and managed to pick up the sexiest Timorese girl in the place. It took a bit of work but a false take away got her in the end. I also had oral sex with another Timorese girl I met in the supermarket… She then started stalking me… in one day I had 23 missed calls! 23 missed calls!

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7 Responses to Dili City Guide

  1. Russel January 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm #

    Timorese are surprisingly a boring People given their geographic location and Christianity. But they are actually too religious to be any fun.
    However there are tons of hot expats and the beaches are fabulous. Got my first threesome there with a Brit and a French girls !

  2. Her Wanderin' Feet June 13, 2013 at 1:56 am #

    ” These girls are nearly all virgins ”

    How would you know?

    “Timorese are surprisingly a boring People given their geographic location and Christianity.”

    Could be Christianity that makes them boring.

    • Naughty Nomad June 13, 2013 at 2:12 am #

      Have you been? Then I won’t have to answer such a question.

  3. Donovan August 6, 2015 at 1:38 pm #

    Sorry but i dont think you should speak about such nice people based on their willingness to scruff someone that doesn’t belong to their Familia (so to speak ) , hashtag fuck up


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