Some of you may remember last year when me and my crew stormed the island in the Siege of Malta. So last weekend the Naughty Nomad decided to pop in to see how things were going…
The reason I returned?
Well during the last Siege I sadly lost one of crew, Cut-throat, to the heart of young resident Swede. She came to visit him in Ireland, they fell for each other and he moved to Malta.
Furthermore, three other friends of ours were decided to go over also, included one of the founding pirates: Barnacle Brian.
Plus the flights were cheap.
Plus Ireland is too fucking cold.
Plus Malta is awesome.
I forget how awesome my beloved Malta was. It started out in style, when my former Maltese Minx picked me up from the airport and kidnapped napped me for the afternoon (cheating on her long term boyfriend in the process). I opted not to meet up with her later that night. I was here for my mates, not some chica.
That night was wild. At 25 shots for €15, things get blurry.
I then meet my first fan ever! “Are you the Naughty Nomad?” inquires a Maltese dude. His name was Dave. Thanks for the shots man!!!
I get my drunk game on. Peacocking with a Santa hat, I approach a few cuties, get a kiss here, take a number there. I’m having too much fun.
Then I strike gold – a sexy slim 17-year-old tattooed blonde, with an ass that would of send a man to war. She was on the dance floor. I was fucked. I have no idea what I said to her but we end up making out.
Fade to black.
I wake up in a strange bed. I can’t remember a thing. I look over at see the blonde sexpot. “Holy shit I’m good”I thinking to myself. Her body was insane. My drunk game rocks! I took to time in indulging in her nubile body. Yummy..
I soon forget about my other Maltese girl, this teen was too hot. To my pleasant surprise – Brian was in the same house, having hooked up with the girl’s cute mate! What a hero.
That night we met up with another dude, flashbang, who knew of me from Roosh’s forum. As it turned out, he was the only other dude on the strip wearing a Santa hat! Hilarious. We went out, got way too fucked up, and eventually me and Brian’s dicks led us back to our girls from the night before. We said to goodbye to a rather jolly flashbang. Hope you were all right next morning mate!
Me and Brian met the girls in the same bar as the night before. Feeling extra cocky, and too pissed to know any better, I went around the bar picking up girls while my date was dancing. I scored three other chicks, including a girl who was with there with her boyfriend of 11 years. (I ambushed her at the bathroom… I know, I’m a dick.)
For the next hour I kept doing a circuit, rotating my chicas, pulling them behind pillars so I wouldn’t get caught. Sharking I call it.
But none could touch my tattooed teen, she was too hot to put down. I end up spending the night in her’s yet again.. and most of the next day in her bed, ravishing her little body over and over…ahhh.
Not a bad weekend.
I’ll be back for sure…
BTW – I’ve updated my Malta Island Guide for those of you who want to check it out…