The other week in Cyprus I was pretty smitten when I captured my Iran flag on Friday night. I’ve had people wondering how it went down. The key points are in bold.
The night before I’d just gotten my Cypriot flag, so my mindset was rock solid. I was on form. I’d messaged a girl online asking for a good nightlife recommendation. She invited me to a place called Club Nuovo.
Normally, I wouldn’t dare cruise into enemy turf solo to introduce myself to a random chick. All her friends were there – in a loud club setting where I knew nobody. But I thought – fuck it. It was all you can drink for €15… The Irishman in me couldn’t let that slide.
I was drinking with some people from the hostel, so I show up 3 hours late… nearly 2AM. It’s a black and white night, so I throw on my white bandanna – peacocking pirate style.
I’m infected by the warm smile of an ashy brunette with piercing Middle Eastern eyes. It was her…
She was taller than me (I’m only 5’7′), but much more beautiful than I expected (she has even dated a famous Turkish popstar). I’d post a pic – but fuck you guys, I actually like this girl. Anyway, her profile and beauty didn’t bother me – I had zero expectations.
We briefly chat. I find out she’s Iranian – Persian… how sexy is that. I whip out my only Farsi -‘Salam’. It’s loud, so I pull her close while we talk.
Cockblock. Her friends pull her away.
Fuck that. I wasn’t going to stand around like a tit. I left without saying anything. I go hunting. I grab a drink and start chatting with randomers at the bar. I go for a smoke and game a group in smoking area. I’m making friends left, right and centre.
I return and she’s ask: “Where did you go?”
We chat another bit… I’m heavy on the kino (touching). I find out she moved to Cyprus from Tabriz for study. She’s 22. Man, I wanted her. A couple from the smoking area comes over to tell me I’m a legend (I did a stupid little magic gambit while smoking). Social Proof.
“How do you know these people?” she asks.
Cockblocked again. Another friend of hers appears, all huggy and hyper. Then two Iranian lads compete for her attention. She was garnering quite the audience (obviously a serious socialite), so I disappear again.
I hit a golden jealously plotline. I’m at the bar, and get talking to some African guys. They’re hanging with this stunner – easily the hottest girl in the place – a half Cypriot/ half Congolese sexpot.
The African guys freak out when I start speaking Yuroba – their native tribal language in Nigeria (I’ve just been to Lagos and used to date a Yuroba). The halfcast hottie is intrigued. I find out about her Congo roots. My Reponse: “J’ai visité Congo. Vous savez Kivu?” She flips, jumping around like a school girl. Not just because I speak French and have visited her homeland – but because Kivu is a warzone. This girl thinks I’m hardcore.
The Persian sees the sexpot flirting with me and BOOM! She must have thought I was a rockstar.
She came over, took my hand and led me to the a place we could dance. We bump and grind. I isolate her to a quiet part of the bar. We make out. She gets really fucking horny. Pretty soon she whispers in my ear:
“Let’s go back to my place.”
That’s how I roll.