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City Guide: Bratislava, Slovakia (Updated)


Bratislava in a word: Stunted.

Chance of Hooking up: 3 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.5 / 5
Nightlife: 3/5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5
Livability: 3.5/5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €1.80 for a large beer.
Bed: €35 for a private room.
Bud: €10 per gram.
Board: €2 for a kebab.
Currency Conversion


Bratislava looks pretty plain compared to other capitals in central Europe, but it’s still perfectly pleasant. It’s got a castle and few cute town squares, but doesn’t merit more than a weekend. Midweek the city isn’t up to much.

The Girls


Adriana Karembeu, Slovak

Slovaks resemble Czech or Polish girls. They are not quite as attractive in the face as those countries (especially Poland), but statistically they are in better shape, with lower rates of females classified as overweight or obese. Average height is a little under 5’5″ (165cm), which makes them relatively tall. An estimated 40% of Slovaks are blond/light haired, the same as the Czech Republic and less than in Poland.

Demographics: With a population of roughly 430k, over 90% are considered ethnic Slovaks. Hungarians make up another 4%, Czechs 2%, and most others coming from surrounding countries.

Attitudes: Slovaks tend to be pretty down to earth and a slightly warmer than those in neighboring Eastern European countries. Typical to Eastern Europe, girls take care of their weight.

Gaming Strategy: Most of the local talent hibernate during the week and emerge on Friday and Saturday nights. Don’t even think about hitting the ground cold in Bratislava mid-week; you’ll be a lonely boy. If you do, day game is your best option. This is actually a good option as Slovakian girls are pretty receptive to foreigners compared to others in the area, and English is wide spread. The sex ratio is very unfavourable in venues midweek, but on the weekend it feels like the complete opposite (if you know where to look). For more info on picking up Slovak girls click here.

The Dirt

AccommodationI recommend staying as near to St. Micheal’s Gate as possible.

Gym: Unfortunately many of the gyms in the city are pussy-gyms with no free weights. The most central one I could find with a squat rack and free weight is FanatiX, which is only €3.50 for a day pass.

Getting High: The first time around I recommended going the rock bar across from Spirit, but I didn’t go back on my last trip. For more info get out here at webehigh.

Nightlife Recommendations

I’ve been to Bratislava twice, both midweek and the weekend. It’s like two different cities. Go to the student village (10 mins by taxi) if you visit mid-week. There’s a be-free pub crawl if your there on the weekend.


discoSecond visit and this place is still rockin’. Definitely one of the coolest venue in the city. Live Cuban music, cocktails, and a party atmosphere. I love this little bar. The crowd’s a wee bit older, but the sex ratios are good and there’s a lot of girls dancing to Latin music. A great place to warm up, or bring a date. You might find a few horny cougars at the bar.

On my last visit to Havana I also got recognized by three three Naughty Nomad readers from Greece. One of them, Chris, was nice enough to comment below and leave his input.

Hey Mark…we met in “Havana”. It was a pleasure. I had a great time in Bratislava, girls were nice 3.5/5 (not as good as czech girls though). We stayed 6 nights. Not many things to do midweek, you have to follow students so you can find the parties. Tuesday, Unique club in the dormitory area is the place to be, with plenty of great girls partying and easy approachable. On Fridays-Saturdays it’s a different city,  with many more [places] to get out. Trafo club was a nice club with posh girls and students too. Primi Bar was a good starter, “The club” was a disappointment and Havana as Mark suggested is a good pick up scene.

I’d also like to endorse Primi Bar across the road from Havana. It’s a younger crowd and downstairs attracts a ton of talent. It’s a really cool place. I also had a soft spot for Barrock, but I’m biased because I love rock bars.

My Bratislava Experience

My first night here I must have been to eight or nine venues. The place was a ghost town apart from the odd half-full bar. The only place I really warmed to was Havana. The second night I had a date with a Slovak girl and had an excellent night. I’d consider returning, but only on a weekend with friends.

Other Resources

Why not check out more Cheeky City Guides?

For more info on Bratislava or if you have any questions, check out the links below or leave a comment.

Bratislava Report by marinhogomes on RVF.

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14 Responses to City Guide: Bratislava, Slovakia (Updated)

  1. Viajero March 19, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    Do slovak women speak english?
    And do they have a strong BS

    • Naughty Nomad March 19, 2011 at 12:11 pm #

      They have the EE Bitch Shield, but not as much as other countries. English is wide-spread.

  2. Michal March 25, 2011 at 12:44 am #

    Hey Nomad!

    Nice guide! I was born and raised in Bratislava, but have been living in US for a while now. Last summer I went to visit my hometown after a few years (and finally single!) and it was great! I pipelined (lol didn’t know it has a term like this at that time) more honeys than I could meet, banged a few,, and one even came to visit me here in Arizona (on her own expense of course). So I can definitely recommend Bratislava. Although I probably had it easier since I speak the language and have many friends there as well…

  3. FlagHunter March 26, 2011 at 7:24 pm #

    Hey Naughty Nomad,
    Thanks for the good guide man!
    Could you recommend some pipelining websites for Slovakia?

    • Naughty Nomad March 27, 2011 at 5:23 pm # 😉

  4. the tucker July 3, 2012 at 7:50 pm #

    I just went to this babylon and they’ve asked for 200€ for 1 hour shagging.

  5. Chris January 5, 2016 at 2:07 pm #

    Hi Mark,

    Can you tell me when did you visit Bratsilava, in winter time or summer? Also which clubs you visited and didn’t like so we avoid them.

    Is there anyone else who’s been there lately so he can share his experience?

    • Mark Zolo January 11, 2016 at 9:19 am #

      I’m going back there in March for an update.

      • Chris January 16, 2016 at 4:07 pm #

        Haha, what a coincidence. My friends & I will be there for a week till March the 5th!!

  6. Chris April 6, 2016 at 11:47 pm #

    Hey Mark, you have to inform us on your last visit in Bratislava. We met in “Havana”, it was a pleasure. I had a great time in Bratislava, girls were nice 3.5/5 (not as good as czech girls though), we stayed 6 nights. Not many things to do in midweek, you have to follow students so you can find the parties. Tuesday Unique club in the dormitory area is the place to be, plenty of great girls partying and easy aproachable. on Fridays-Saturdays is a different city, many more use to get out. Trafo club was a nice club with posh girls and students too. Primi bar was a good starter, “The club” was a dissapointment and Havana as Mark suggested is a good pick up scene. Make the trip to Brno and stay for a night there, its worth it too.

    • Mark Zolo April 7, 2016 at 3:43 pm #

      I will do shortly. Thanks for the input Chris!

  7. mike42night May 14, 2016 at 8:56 am #

    No action during midweek, at least Vienna is close by…

  8. Nas June 25, 2016 at 5:42 am #

    Complete nonsense. You are immediately hit by the beauty in summer. 37 degrees. Stunning women everywhere you look. All in dresses. Astoundingly hot! God damn moments left right and centre. Boob jobs seem common too. Overall, we are talking 8-9 out of 10 average. And most importantly, fun. Not a lot of quality places to go to tbh. Tracks tend to get repeated. Happy hardcore pop beats mostly. But the girls can dance and are forward about it. They’ll dance sexy with anyone. God damn again. These aren’t standard lookers… Or movers. Groups of English lads and older men everywhere. Not a solo friendly city.


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