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On Buyer’s Remorse

Originally coined in consumer purchase behaviour, buyer’s remorse deals with cognitive dissonance – one will either reverse rationalise the decision, or come to truly regret it.

When running game, a girl experiences buyer’s remorse when you push too hard, too soon, and don’t build up enough comfort in the meantime. Result: she regrets getting too heavy with you so fast, feels manipulated, puts her guard up, and writes you off as a player.

Ultimately, this often ends up costing you a notch or promptly ends the relationship.

Simple stuff.

Well, every so often, when things are going well for a guy, his game becomes complacent. He believes he’s invincible and forgets the basics. This is usually followed by a *slap* in the face. And the learning cycle continues.

Buyer’s remorse. It’s a concept I’ve been painfully reminded of recently. Over the last few months, I’ve gotten so used to sleeping with girls on the first day by running the same routine, I’d forgotten there are still chaste girls out there.

Instead of playing my game smart, I’ve become impatient.  My first dates have turned from a comfort-building meet-up in the pub. to a blitzkrieg caveman, with me picking girls up and driving  directly to my place to fuck the shit out of her listen to music and drink wine. Too fast too soon? Yes, but it had been working with the loose wenches I’d forged.


Then I invited a bootylicous Somali-Dutch girl over. Both her parents were conservative Muslims, but I figured since she spent most of her life in the Netherlands, modern feminism would have empowered her to open her legs to whoever came-a-knockin’. I was wrong. I went caveman. Twice. And she never contacted me again. If I waited until day 2, I’m 100% sure I would have my Dutch flag. Fail.


I didn’t learn and recently did the exact same thing with a Japanese teen. She had no sexual experience. I knew she was a ‘day 2 or 3’ kind of girl, but I went for the kill anyway. It was too much, too soon. And she never contacted me again.


Lesson learned.

If the girl is conservative or lukewarm on you, know when not to push so hard. Good things come to those who wait. Sometimes (and only sometimes) patience will get you laid over persistence.

What’s your experience of buyers remorse?


9 Responses to On Buyer’s Remorse

  1. Jack November 27, 2012 at 4:58 am #

    It generally happens with me if the girl is too drunk. Then she feels buyers remorse the next day. Should be happy with a one night stand or just dont fuck girls when they are drunk? 😀

  2. Jake November 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm #

    Spot on. Just had a perfect 10 (top fashion model) falling head over heels for me on the first date, lost interest in two weeks time just because I pushed too soon too hard (from her perspective). She wanted love, gentle and careful build up of comfort, yet did not see that, so that remorsed (after giving emotional speaches “what kind of woman do you want me to be for you, just tell or order to me”) to a complete breakup. Sad.

    Patience pays. Sometimes.

  3. Seedless November 27, 2012 at 6:33 pm #

    I’ve had a few of these buyer’s remorse reactions when sleeping with married/boyfriended women that feel guilty afterward. Don’t hear from then again, but probably for the best…

  4. Ozzy November 28, 2012 at 2:05 am #

    so…………….. how is Georgia???? any regrets?

  5. mcfondal November 28, 2012 at 7:00 pm #

    muzzys tend to side with theri hertige and relgion first than theri nationality more so like other immigrants this day an age….back in the day they tried assimilatin now immigrants have small communities going and dont really care to emulate the locals.(dont think day 2 youll get it….more like year 2 at the alter)
    to get a dutch flag doesnt the girl have to be a native dutch? like getting a new zealand flaggin by gettin a maori girl instead of a white girl.
    the japanese teen how old was she? didnt know you were in japan ,didnt see it in your city guides section.
    lucky european girls are easy and dont have this hang up

    where r u finding all these virgins?

  6. mcfondal November 28, 2012 at 7:02 pm #

    goes to show how important game is ..even a stud white guy can strike out with an asian girl(dont worry you are not the only white dude….there are others on youtube)
    race is only an edge to be exotic but you still gotta know how to play

  7. roo November 29, 2012 at 12:41 am #

    yeah, ive had this. kissed this girl on the first date and got back to her place. thought it was in the bag and went for it. she was happy to kiss, but not go further. i was real horny though so i kept going for it. my mistake as she wouldnt meet up with me again.

    rooshy says that you wont get punished for going for it if the girl really likes you, which may be true. however, i found from this experience that going hard can be off putting to some on the first date. some girls want to build some comfort for longer than one date (shock). i def feel that i would have had it on the second date.

  8. Sid November 30, 2012 at 8:54 am #

    I think taking a slow approach is prudent with girls who are especially attractive, charming, or what not. I’m not suggesting that all such girls must be seduced slowly, but if you’re really attracted to a girl, then you don’t want to spill the milk.

    But conversely, the Caveman approach is so effective because it weeds out who is dtf and who isn’t. It makes love happen with all kinds of girls very quickly, and most Western girls at least find aggressiveness to be a turn on. If you miss out on a few girls because you went too quickly, who cares if that got you far more lays in record time? If anything, an aggressive approach makes things happen when they wouldn’t have otherwise.

    So it’s good to take it slow (if that helps) with very attractive girls. But if being a Caveman turns off a few girls you’re not especially enchanted with, then it’s not a big deal if it gets you many more lays quickly.

  9. Edi December 17, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

    I’ve actually had bad experiences when I’ve pushed too hard, i.e. kissing on the first date, touching too much, one night stands. When I was going out a lot and listening to PUA advice of banging the chick as soon as you can I had my share of blunders. Don’t get me wrong, if you can nail the chick the same night go for it, but be prepared for what might happen. If you’re dating a chick I find it more effective to play a bit hard to get and not be too easy, i.e go caveman after a few dates. I’m talking of my experiences of course, I’m living in Finland so it might a finnish thing.

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