A Second Chance

Did you ever visit somewhere and come home thinking it was heaven on earth, then return to the same place a second time and be disappointed?

Yes?

It happens all the time. We look back on our experiences with rose-tinted glasses and romanticize about the places we’ve been.

But often our experience and not the actual place is what influences our opinions.

When you get a few of your buddies together, go somewhere sunny and throw in drink and women,  even hanging out in the biggest shithole on the planet can still be fun.

You’ll come back and tell everyone, “Man, that place is great! You gotta’ go!”

If you got laid there, hell, you’ll love the place!

But if you return to the scene of the crime rolling solo in winter, perhaps you might see it for what it is – a shithole. Like a bad one stand – you wake up sober the next morning and the angel the night before is now a smudged hog.

I’m sure if I returned to cities like Chisinau, Addis Ababa, and Dili, I’d probably  rate them lower than I do now. They were shitholes, but I got laid there so I remember them fondly.

Perception vs Reality

It’s hard to be objective.

I’ve had readers travel to certain places on recommendations from this blog, then send me angry emails because they hated the place. It’s happened with Skopje, Conakry, and Kuching – all towns I fell hard for a local girl.

Clearly, I’m bias.

The truth is unless you spend a significant amount of time in one place, you’ll need to visit it a second or third time to really get a feel for it and make an assessment.

So what about the cities or countries we’ve been to and hated?

We do the same things. We might have a bad experience and associate that feeling with the location. We remember all the bad bits, demonize the people and tell our friends, “Don’t bother going to there.”

But really, what should you do?

Give it a second chance.

I think Egypt was the worst country I’ve ever visited.  But I willing to give it a second chance.  It was my first Middle Eastern country. I was young and naive. I met bad people. I didn’t party there enough. I went during June when it’s unbearable hot, etc…

Next time, it might be different.

I went to Russia and thought it was the second worst country I’d been to. But I’m willing to give it a second chance. My Russian was non-existent at the time. I had no game. I travelled there with my parents.  I got drugged, robbed and jailed.

Next time, it might be different.

In January, Israel depressed me. But I’m willing to give it a second chance. I only visited Jerusalem – a city full of neo-Zionist bigots. I should have avoided making sound, logical arguments and supporting human rights like an idiot. I went to the frontlines of the conflict, and spoke to young people freshly brainwashed from the army. I should have went to Tel Aviv where people are more liberal and less zealous.

Next time, it might be different.

I thought Goma in Eastern Congo was hell on earth. But that’s because is was war-ridden toilet covered in molten lava full of refugees with no food or electricity.

Next time… wait – fuck that, I’m never going back to that hellhole again!

But you get my point.

Many places are not worth going back to, but some places deserve a second chance.

“The world is book and those who not travel only read one page.”

– St. Augustine

You shouldn’t skim over sections either…