Of course this list will be a little subjective but I think all guys can relate.
Girls, listen up. Here are 10 reasons why you can’t pull a decent guy.
1. You’re Fat
Yikes
When you step on the scales it reads “Fuck you!” Guys won’t pick you up if they can’t actually pick you up. Go easy on the pizza. Allah hates fatties.
A decent booty can be sexy, but cankles certainly aren’t.
Personally I like my women under 50 kilos.
Solution?
Hit the gym. Try eating a salad once and awhile. Move to Mauritania.
2. You Can’t Cook
A chick who can’t cook is like a guy who can’t fuck.
I don’t care if you’re a beauty queen and have a masters – if you can’t cook you’re a FAILURE as a women on a primal level.
I don’t want my kids eating processed muck.
Learn how to make a good home cooked meal.
Solution?
Youtube.
3. You have too much body hair
Ahh!
You’re a yeti. You’re vagina looks like Cousin It.
Women shouldn’t have significant body hair below their neck. This goes without saying. A well groomed landing strip is fine, but otherwise nada. Keep your muff in check. Sandpaper thighs, under arm and wild bush are never sexy.
Solution?
Wax. Laser. Shave .
4. You turn off the lights during sex
Most guys don’t mind if you’re a little shy or introverted, but when you’re so insecure about your body that you fear light – you have a problem. Men are visual creatures. Confidence is a turn on, even if you don’t rock a model’s body.
Last year in Seoul, one night I went home with a chick from Newfoundland who insisted the lights be turned off. I remember thinking: What was she hiding? Back acne? A cluster of hemroids around her anus? Between that, a few pints, a condom, and no visible stimulation, I could barely keep a hard on.
The next night I went home with an American girl. She had a face like Jessica Alba, but was plump as hell. That said, she DID keep the lights on and she was super-confident in the sack. Her confidence, above all else, was a massive turn on.
Solution?
Confidence counts. Compromise with candles.
5. You’re a Feminist
You walk like a man.
Traditional feminism promoted suffrage and equal pay. Nobody is complaining. But equality in terms of behaviour is not cool. A lot of women in the West have spent so much time trying to emulate men, they have lost a lot of made them special in the first place. Ironically, modern feminists are the least feminine breed on the planet. Men like women to be women, not men.
Solution?
Grow your hair long, wear a dress and get in some high heels. If you want to get laid, keep your mouth shut.
6. You’re a slut
If you don’t value you sexuality, men won’t either. No guy wants a girl who passed around like a can of Pringles. I personally wouldn’t consider a serious relationship with any girl who’s had more than 10 cocks inside her. The average women on the planet will have two sexual partners in a life-time – factoring in China, India and the like. Am I promoting double standards for men and women? Yes, because we’re different. Men of value (who are pre-selected) want women of value (sexual integrity). It’s simple sociology. You can complain it’s not fair, but we simply don’t give a shit.
Solution?
Lie. If you like the guy, make him work for it and he’ll value you more.
7. You have no real friends
Women’s friendships are usually weaker than men’s. If you’re the type who ditch’s your mates as soon as you start dating a guy, you’re a sap. Men like women who have friends. They take you out, and give us free time to bang other women play. This makes us happy as we fulfil our genetic imperative. When we’re happy in the relationship we keep fucking you, and you get your regular dose of Alpha dick – your genetic imperative. But aside from my unconventional paradigm, it’s good to have friends in your life – for balance.
Solution?
Make time for your girls.
8. You have no interests
You’re boring. I’ve met rocks that were more entertaining.
The amount of women I meet that have zero interests is depressing. Fashion mags, reality shows and and youtube are NOT legitimate hobbies. Read a fucking book. Take a interest in anything. Have one thing you’re passionate about. Men only tolerate boring women long enough to deposit their seed – then they move on.
Solution?
Get a life.
9. You Smell
.
You have bad breath. You fart occasionally. When you take a dump, we want to dump you. Men should never smell a women’s shit. It’s poison for sexual attraction. And bad breath can make the hottest woman in the world unkissable. Men don’t want to be reminded you are human.
Solution?
Always carry gum.
If you really need fart or take a shit, drive half an hour to the nearest restroom. We don’t want to know about it.
10. You’re a Serial Queefer
.
Sex with you is like making love to a whoopee cushion.
I once went to bed with a girl in Moldova. Although sexy, when I went down on her, her pussy started spitting back at me. I’d have let a few blips slide (it happens everyone), but while having sex, every thrust felt like I was plunging a toilet. It was just too much.
To make matters worse, she kept coughing to try and cover it up. Trying to bust a nut with some chick spluttering & queefing is futile.
Solution?
Marry a deaf bloke.
Oh… and
11. Bad Posture… stand up straight ladies!
12. An Aversion to head… you will never sexually satisfy your man.
Guys, feel free to comment and add your biggest turn-offs…
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