Having traveled this route through West Africa, I am lucky enough to have visited all eleven countries on the coast from Dakar to Lagos.

Using my Top 10 destinations in South East Asia as a template, I will using the following criteria.

These places/countries are judged on:

•   - Natural beauty / Historical wonders
• – Unique Experiences offered
•  - The Chill-out Factor (Off the beaten track, smoke etc.)
• – The Craic! (Irish term meaning fun or entertainment)
•  - The Girls  (the real X factor)

 

So here they are…

Naughty Nomad’s

TOP 10 Spots in West Africa!

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10. Cap Skirring, Senegal

In a word: Moo.

  I’ts got an alright beach with lazy cows.

 Meeting random cows on the road and the Beach. Enjoying fresh fish by the sea where you effectively rent the whole restaurant. The atmosphere is enhanced when the owners come out with the Djembe drums.

Many hotels have pools and you’re not far from the beach. Smoke is easily available, albeit overpriced considering the area is touristy by WA standards.

Night time options are limited but the two or three venues open late are really good fun.

 A decent gaggle of friendly girls around at night. Most speak French.

Bottom Line: The best that Senegal has to offer, but that’s ain’t saying much.

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9. Senegambia, The Gambia

In a word: Simple.

  I’ts got a pretty good beach and a laid back village feel.

 Checking out all the old grannies getting stuck in the young local guys… Hilarious.

Hammocks, beach, weed everywhere – not a bad spot for chilling.

Good Restaurants and wild nightlife (but only one or two options). Check out my Gambian Coast guide for info.

 Party most nights with a good few girls about at night. They come from all over the region and nearly all speak English.

Bottom Line: Better than Senegal, but local guys can be pretty bothersome.

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8. Labadi Beach, Ghana

In a word: Slick.

  Beach and babes, that’s enough.

 Smoke Sheesha and check out a beach concert.

There’s lots of people around but your still by the beach drinking, it’s hard not to relax.

Plenty of people having fun partying. After sundown it sedates but during this is probably the best spot for partying during the day in WA.

 Loads of sexy chicks from all parts of the world strutting around in bikinis. This is the best place in Ghana to pick up.

Bottom Line: Wicked hang-out. I’d score it higher if wasn’t surrounded by crappy Accra.

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7. Lake Aheme, Benin

In a word: Juju.

  Quiet lake with beautiful sandy shores.

 The eco-tours there are excellent. You will learn traditional fishing methods and you learn all about voodoo. If you’re really lucky (as we were), you get to witness a voodoo sacrafice.

A 5 star set up with no tourists. Smoke available. Grab a beer lakeside and enjoy. The lake is the perfect getaway from the capital Cotonou.

Not much going on, but at weekend’s there is a local disco.

 A lot women walk around topless, but are conservative in every other respect. Wasn’t there on the weekend but I’d imagine you’d try to be sold someone’s cousin. Not a place to pick up chicks.

Bottom Line: For me, West Africa’s ultimate chill out spot.

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6. Togo (in general)

In a word: Pleasent.

  Between Lome’s pristine sands and butterfly walks in Kpalimé’s beautiful forests, Togo ranks high for natural beauty.

 Learn about coffee & coca plantations on a guided tour exploring the area around beautiful Kpalimé. The guides are great too.

Lomé is West Africa’s most chilled capital. Kpalimé got some nice waterfalls if you willing to trek to see them.

Lome has a laid back vibe but it hosts West’s Africa’s biggest nightclub! Check out the Lomé city guide to get a better feel for the nightlife.

 A few nationalities about. Not the easiest place to pick up but still very doable. VIP Privé club has some fine women.

Bottom Line: A breath of fresh air on the road from Accra to Lagos.

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5. Monrovia, Liberia

In a word: Threesome?

  Not great as beach isn’t up to much and apparently quite dangerous.

 Having girls call to your door late at night for threesomes. Before they rob you that is…

City isn’t so hectic. Roof toop bars are the best places for unwinding.

Liberia by night is truly an adventure. Check out my Monrovia City Guide for more info.

 Girls in Liberia love to f**k. I never had to refuse so much sex in my life as I did here. The only problem is knowing who to trust. But dam, Liberian girls are a little addictive. Hence the high ranking.

Bottom Line: West Africa’s most off the beaten track country is well worth it.
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4. Lagos, Nigeria

In a word: Chaos.

  Nada. Although Victoria Island has some nice parts.

 Some the world’s worst traffic and daily dealings with bribery and corruption.

There’s weed around, but not much places to chill.

The craic in Lagos in unrivaled. The place is exhilarating. Probably the wildest nightlife in West Africa. Plenty of options with cheap beer and live music.

 Arguably the best looking (and friendliest) girls in Africa. You’ll understand if you read my Lagos City Guide.

Bottom Line: You haven’t been to Africa if you haven’t been to Lagos.

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3. Cote d’Ivoire (in general)

In a word: Magnifique!

  Great jungles near Liberia and lagoon views in the streets of Abidjan.

 Having the world’s biggest church all to yourself (I’m not religious but wow!). Enjoying the Marquai bars.

The capital is really laid back and it’s not hard to get your hand on weed from the Marquai bars.

Nightlife in Abidjan is mega. Biking from the Liberian border is also an epic jungle trail.

 The sexiest girls I’ve experienced in Francophone West Africa. Often friendly and well educated too.

Bottom Line: For many who visit the region, this is their favorite country in West Africa.

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2. Guinea (in general)

In a word: Unexpected.

  With many of the region main rivers originating in the Fouta Djallon, this place is filled with mountains and waterfalls. For me, the most beautiful country in the region. Beaches in the capital.

 The Journey from hell. Ultimate jungle treks. Having to put on hoody because the chill in the mountain air (a welcome temperature change).

Taking a swim over a waterfall. Weed is abundant. Very chilled. Even in the capital you can find quiet moments by the beach.

Conakry has a pretty decent nightlife and displays great variety. The beach parties are a blast too.

 The Fula girls are gorgeous. English isn’t that prevalent but with a little French you can bag yourself a hottie.

Bottom Line: Reminded me of Ethiopia… my favourite country in West Africa.

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1. Freetown Peninsula, Sierra Leone

In a word: Heaven?

  Jungle mountains by the sea. Fantastic beaches.

 Being able to smoke joints in nightclubs.

Beach bars with hookahs? Aberdeen is the ultimate chill out spot. Everyone smokes and it’s not problem in some restaurants even. You can even buy joints in clubs.

Wild nights, every night. Options are limited, but the venues are Grade A. Beers are cheap too. Freetownians really know how to have a good time. Check out my Freetown city guide for more info.

 It’s very easy to pick up in Freetown 5/5. Only Monrovia is easier. You can find some real gems here as well. There’s also Lebanese and other expats for the taking.

Bottom Line: Beautiful scenery,  loose women, weed and cheap beer in clubs = awesome. Easily the best location in West Africa!

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Honourable Mentions

I decided to only include places I’ve actually been in the top 10. As such, the list above only covers countries on the coast from Dakar to Lagos. I contacted some fellow globe-trotters to give their top 10 on the route as well. Here are some other picks from fellow travellers…

• Robertsport, Liberia
• Goree Island, Senegal (I’ve been here. Good escape from Dakar but very small.)
• Ganvie, Benin
• Kokobrite, Ghana (Been here. It could have made the list if I had went on the weekend)
• Sine-Saloum Delta, Senegal
• Bissagos Islands, Guinea Bissau (nice place, but get out of Bubaque and explore further)

Check out my my West African City Guides!

Please share your favourite places! Leave a comment below!

 

Well Gentlemen I’ve been a little distant the last few weeks. I’ve dished out 12 solid West African City Guides and will be wrapping me West African breakdown soon with my Top 5 destinations and the like…

So, what has the Naughty Nomad been up to in the last while, summer lovin’ in Dublin…

Since I got back in June I’ve been dating a few chicas:

• 2 Brazilians (26 & 19, incl a Japzilian)
• a Nigerian (17, still in school)
• an Tamil Indian (20 something virgin who speaks in tongues)
• a Panamanian (19 with long term boy friend)
• a Libyan (19 virgin who returned to help rebels..)
• a Mongolian (22 and decedent of Genghis Khan)

Why the crazy religious virgins? Don’t ask.

To give you guys meet up info if you’re interested:

• I met 3 online (two through an ex on facebook)
• 2 from day approaches
• 2 from night approaches
• 4 of them of them are teenagers, because as you know, I love sex with kids (I really should stop saying that…).

Having already captured Nigeria and Brazil, I’m glad to add two new flags to the list: Panama and Mongolia. That brings my flag count to 42.

 The Mongol and I met for our first meet-up only 2 nights ago. It was my pleasure, considering I’ve been dying to bag a bit of Khan since my trip there in 08. She’s cute to0.

I’m sad to say I’ve recently accepted the opportunity to complete Masters in International Relations (I might as well formalize my education). This means that travel plans have changed and might be somewhat restricted until next summer.

But don’t fret!

A lot of you have been asking for me to write a book. So guess what!?  I’m 40,000 words in to ‘Naughty Nomad‘ the book, detailing the misadventures of my first passport throughout Antarctica, Africa and Asia! I’ve been keeping it on the down low, but decided to give you guys a heads up.

Although globetrotting is somewhat on the back burner, I’ve still made plans for a few side trips. I’m off to Edinburgh on Tuesday for a wee Siege. I’m also planning a ski trip to Lebanon this winter and Carnival in Cape Verde.

Will keep you guys posted!

NN

Lagos in a word: Chaos!!!

Chance of Hooking up: 5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 4 / 5
Nightlife: 4 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 4 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: $1.40 average per bottle.
Bed: €50 for a private room.
Bud: €1.50 for a small bag.
Board: $10 for 10 grams.
Budget other: Bribes are common and taxis pricey because of traffic.

Currency Conversion

Overview

Lagos is f**king chaos. I’ve been to hundreds of cities in my life but Lagos takes the cake in terms of intensity; it’s hard to imagine a crazier city. It’s overwhelming, frantic and dangerous. To quote a Ghanaian friend: “The only people who survive there are the ones who move fast.” White expats we met there only drive at night with local drivers (armed) in cars with blacked out windows. For some people, it is the world’s biggest hell-hole. That said: I fucking  love it! Lagos is intoxicating. The girls, nightlife and everyday excitement gives this looney bin the Naughty Nomad seal of approval.

WARNING: Lagos is not for first timers in Africa.

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

In terms of the average girl on the street, Lagos has the best looking girls in West Africa. This may have something to with the fact that 1 in 5 Africans live in Nigeria, and the best bred of 200 million people tend to be concentrated in areas like upper class Victoria Island and Lagos island.

Nocturnal Lagos ladies are crazy, sexy, shameless, ruthless and addictive. Picking up at night in an urban adventure. If you’re a young white guy you will pick up model-type girls like a rock star. But remember -be vigilant with your vagina; choose your girls wisely.

Day time it’s easy to meet girls. Shopping malls on VI are the best place to meet high class chicks. There are plenty of genuine girls around. Universities are a great option too.

If you need a break from the notorious Lagos nightlife – pipeline. This is Africa’s largest city and everyone speaks English. You will be spoiled for choice with the amount of chicks online who’ll gladly meet up.

I would like to add I love Nigerian girls. I’ve dated many of them throughout the years and find them great company, both in and out of the bedroom. Their bodies, their attitudes and their style I rank among the best there is. Furthermore, they are more understanding of non-exclusivity. Thumbs up.

Nightlife Recommendations

Victoria Island is the place to be for the highest quality women.

Pat’s Place 

This expat hangout might be my favourite bar in all West Africa. The beers are cheap, the crowd is welcoming and the girls are plentiful, eager and gorgeous. It’s got great live music, a dance floor and an atmospheric beer garden. This is the place to be.

Ynot

If you like Manila Bay in the Philippines you’ll love this place. Open 24/7 with tons of sexy girls. When it hits 4AM and everywhere else closes.. come here. It considered a shoring spot, but fun nonetheless. Facebook page here.

Getting High

Courtesy of webehigh.com

Where to buy marijuana: Akerele around the market is where you get the good ganja. Around African Shrine, Agidingbi, and Oshodi you will also find alot of pot.

Our latest info says go to the beaches. Koramo beach is our little Amsterdam. Nigerians love to get high in front of the ocean and enjoy the view for hours!!!

Marijuana prices: 10 Grams goes fore N400 around $3. Another reporter added: “200 Nara (Nigerian currency) – about $1.50 for 5-8 individually sized “wraps.”

My Lagos Experience

My first day in Nigeria was the most heart-wrenching 24-hour period of my life. The Siege of Lagos nearly killed us (literally). You will have to wait for that one…

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Cotonou in a word: Unlovable.

Chance of Hooking up: 4 / 5
Quality of Girls: 2.5 / 5
Nightlife: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: $1 for a bottle of local beer. $6 in the clubs.
Bed: €20 for a private room.
Bud: €1.50 for a small bag.
Board: €3 for a half a chicken with chips.
Budget other: You will pay $10 into clubs, but that includes a drink. Some fancy places it’ll cost $10 for a coke too! Budget for a side trip to Lake Ahemé (Voodoo country).

Currency Conversion

Overview

Cotonou isn’t a place you’d want to hang out in for long. It’s got a bit more of a pulse than Lome, Togo; but the people aren’t as nice and the city is much more frantic. You can fun here, but it’s low on the list compared to other West African cities. Make sure you go to Lake Ahemé for the real Beninese experience.

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

Like the sound of having freaky sex with a Voodoo chick? Will then this is the place to be. Benin is the home of Voodoo and if you work your juju you can make it happen. It’s a Francophone country but many locals have English. If you want to score in the city it’s all about the nightlife.

Beninese girls are used to tourists and aren’t the most liberal so one night stands aren’t that common. If you meet a local it’s best to exchange number and make a date the next day. If you’re looking for a real high quality local (better looking and more aloof) you will likely have to try and nab them off the older French guys. Check out Crystal palace, just slip the chicks your number on the sly. There are also a few beautiful husband hunters about. But most of time at night, local girls will probably not be on your radar. Why? There are usually much better options.

There are tons of nice foreigners in town. Sexy migrants from other West African countries (including some fine Liberians and Ghanaians). Then there is a very visible population of tasty Lebanese chicks, as well as hundreds of young American and European volunteers (mainly French and Scandinavian) . These girls may entice you if you don’t want to shore. They’re are a few upper class African girls around, as you will read in my nightlife recommendations below.

Nightlife Recommendations

The weekends in Cotonou are really good with lots of options. Haie Vive is the classy part  of town. Here’s where you will find the best women, but it’s dead mid week.  The next area is slightly seedier Jonquet, which hosts one or two decent spots. During the week, New York is reliable and always fun.

Cocos 

On the weekend, this is one of the best little bars in West Africa. Located in Haie Vive, it attracts mainly young volunteers, Lebanese and the occasional Asian and upper class Afro girl looking for young white cock. It’s tiny, but the atmosphere is fantastic. As mentioned, it’s only good on weekends when it’s got live music and a crowd. This is the best place to warm up before either of the following…

C17

The ‘in’ disco at the moment. Expect a decent mix: the crowd from Coco’s, expats and ladies of the night. Hit the dance floor and have fun. Not a bad compromise if you can’t handle the heat at…

New York, New York

You haven’t been to Cotonou until you’ve been here. Here you will find some of the friendliest girls in West Africa. It’s a shoring spot, but it’s busy every night and really good fun; plus there are some genuine girls around. Here you will meet chicks from all over the region and some of them are sexy as hell! It’s hard not to leave with a smile on your face.

Getting High

Where to buy marijuana: Lake Ahemé is the best place to get sorted. Ask your hotel owner, that’s how we got sorted. In Cotonou it’s more difficult to obtain. No info available.

Marijuana Prices: 1000 CFA (€1.50) will get you a respectable handful. Expect to pay more in the capital.

My Cotonou Experience

I wasn’t a big fan of the city, but the nightlife was a bit of craic. The Siege of Cotonou was a good one. I end up picking up my Ghana flag (40th flag). To quote Gary the fish, my girl was “the hottest girl he’d seen in the country”. She was a cutie alright. I also had a streak of back luck here. Check out my post: Voodoo Dolls & Bad Juju. It documents a rather  irksome experience.

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Lomé in a word: Pleasent.

Chance of Hooking up: 3.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Nightlife: 2.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €1 for a pint
Bed: €12 for a private room (stay here).
Bud: €2 for a small bag.
Board: €8 for a steak.
Budget other: More expensive clubs cost $10 in. Beers cost $6. You may want to chill at the pool at the ibis hotel. In cost 3,000CFA ($6) for the day.

Currency Conversion

Overview

Lomé has all the potential in the world given it’s incredible beaches. I imagine if this was a Anglophone country FDI would be flooding in. But life here totters along at snail-pace. It has a village vibe. Poverty is quite visible, as you will quickly discover trying to navigate its back streets, and nightlife is probably the most limited in the region (but not bad). That said, Togo is superior to it’s neighbors Ghana and Benin. The locals are friendlier and it’s infinitely less hectic. Take a side trip to Kpalimé.

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

Togolese sounds Afrotastic, but in general, don’t expect a particular high standard of local girls in Lomé. With a GDP per capita of just over  $400, the good looking ones generally emigrate to richer Francophone countries where they can make better money. Like Ghana, Togo is used to tourists so don’t over-rely on your exotic capital. As you’d expect, where you find tourists and expatriates, you also find foreign sex workers and ladies looking for rich husbands. As a result, the most beautiful girls in Lomé are usually Ivorian or Cameroonian. Some of them are jaw-droppers.

If you would like to meet a Togolese girl, you should know the prominent tribe here is Ewe. Learning a few words will sweep them of their feet. You can find good girls at any marqui bar, while the young upper class Togolese head to the Byblos club. As you may expect, French will get you further, but English is pretty widely spoken also. For Pipelining, you can contact some chicks on the Privilege nightclub Facebook group here. Night time is also great for meeting locals.

If you’re looking for white chicks, La Galien’s hotel bar attracts the horny volunteers on vacation from Ghana. There are also a few Lebanese girls in town, but they are few and far between.

Nightlife Recommendations

You could almost conquer the entirety of Lomé’s nightlife is a single night. Outside of weekends, Privilege is the only place with a pulse. La Galien is great on Fridays (food is awesome too).

The Café Panini Area 

This area is the only real concentration of nightspots – and it’s tiny. You will inevitably find yourself at Café Panini – the “glorious sleazy epic center of Lomés nightlife” as described by lonely planet. It’s an outdoor seating area and the girls aren’t great, but the drink is cheap and it’s got a good vibe. Byblos is adjacent – the city’s most exclusive club. It very much a local hang out, but it’s crap and entrance is  5,000 CFA ($10), and it’s also the same price for a single beer! Avoid. My favorite spot was Terrasse. It’s a little more up market, attracting middle class local girls and a few Lebanese.

Le Domino

It’s small, only good on the weekend and attracts a few pretty prostitutes. It’s basically a pick up joint for old French guys but it’s easy to shore if you’re lazy. The crowd is pretty friendly and it’s not a bad place to get a quick pint in before you hit the next place.

Le Privilege 

This is the place to be – West Africa’s biggest nightclub. I’d almost recommend you don’t bother going anywhere else the whole night. Most of the girls from the Café Panini area, Dominos and other places end up here anyway. With 3 floors, two clubs and several bars, it attracts a crowd every night. Apart from the main discotheque, I’d recommend scrubbing up and checking out Le Privé VIP section. You’ll notice the crowd gets whiter and drink prices double, but the quality of women skyrocket. This is where you will find the best looking women in the whole of Togo. Official website here.

Another good blog describing Lomé nightlife here.

Getting High

Where to buy marijuana: We got sorted easily enough in Kpalimé. Ask your tour guide (best) or the guys at the hotel. In Lomé, ask the guys working at the breakfast shacks selling coffee and omelets. Moto drivers may offer to help you out but just sum them up first. Alternatively, trying talking to male waitors at marquai bars.

Prague Marijuana Prices: 2000 CFA (€3) will get you a respectable handful.

My Lomé Experience

We found the city quite agreeable (especially after Ghana) and as a result the Siege of Lomé took longer than planned. My first night in the Le Privé VIP, I got picked up by a hot well-to-do Ivorian refugee “with an ass dat would swallow up a g-string”  to quote that prick. Gary the fish ended up with her mate – a slammin’ hottie he managed to steal off the French Ambassador! Sac le bleu! That cheeky fish…what a legend/asshole. She was also a refugee from Cote d’War. We end up hanging out with them for a few days. Lomé inpired a controversial post on Refugee game.

We also took a rather eventful side trip exploring the beautiful countryside near Kpalimé. If you meet a nice girl in Lomé this is a great place to escape the city with her. Regardless, I’d recommended it for a few days.

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Accra in a word: Fairish.

Chance of Hooking up: 4 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Nightlife: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €1.50 for a pint.
Bed: €20 for a private room.
Bud: €1 for a small bag.
Board: €5 for a massive handful of compressed weed.
Budget other: Taxis are around €1.50 a pop. Entry to clubs are €5-€10 on the weekends.

Currency Conversion

Overview

West Africa’s ‘Golden Child’ is a serious let down. It’s voted #2 on Lonely Planet’s least favourite cities for a reason. Similar to the Gambia, people will regularly try to get into your pockets. The nightlife is the biggest disappointment, considering the population of nearly 4 million – even on a Saturday it’s underwhelming. But apart from the ugly sprawl, the hustlers and the nightlife, it has one saving grace – Labadi beach, one of the coolest hang outs in all of West Africa.

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

Ghana girls are fine. They’re a solid 3: Average, with the odd hottie. It’s hard to find cute faces but not hard to find good bodies. The good thing is they speak English. Foreigners are common place, so don’t expect girls to approach you as often as they do in other West African countries. You will have to do a little ground work, but with any effort you should find it easy to pick up. They are mostly Christian so many drink and are quick to go to bed. If you meet your girl at night take usual precautions. If she’s Liberian watch your ass. Take my nightlife advice to find middle class girls without hidden agendas.

The best place, by far, to find high quality women is a Labadi beach during the day. Every day here is a massive beach party and the atmosphere is infectious. Cute waitresses and sexy chicks in skimpy bikinis abound.

A city with nearly four million English speakers is ideal for pipelining. Girls with online profiles in Africa tend to be more educated and a little better off as well.

Nightlife Recommendations

Nightlife isn’t great to be honest. While we checked out several venues, I really couldn’t put many under the title ‘recommendations’. Avoid Macumba. Wakiki club is cool, but only on Monday nights. The Osu district is a popular night life area.

The Office Block

Everyone one knows the Office bar (mentioned in LP), but the key thing here is that there’s actually three venues all beside each other in this block. It’s attracts the best looking women, the middle classes and also horny expat chicks. This seems like the place to be.

Aphrodisiac

Located in Osu, this is Accra’s most exclusive nightclub. A little pricey but it’s got a classy clientele and worth checking out on the weekend.

Getting High

Where to buy marijuana: In all likelihood you will be visiting Kokrobite beach for a few days. This is by far the best place to score weed. Now, there has been reports of people getting caught by undercover police here. Be vigilant as penalties are extremely harsh. Expect hefty bribes or prison time even for a small amount. Only get weed off a bonafide Rasta; there are plenty around.

Prague Marijuana Prices: 10 cedis (€5) will get you a massive handful of compressed bushweed, about two weeks worth.

My Accra Experience

We were here 3 days. Man do I have a funny story from my first night in Accra, but you will have to wait for that one… It’s a story similar to the Blowjob Bandits of Hanoi, but this time I came out on top (well, kinda). All in all we found the nightlife kinda crappy. We only discovered Labadi beach the last day, it was  awesome.

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?