Gambia in a word: Brotha’.

Chance of Hooking up: 3.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Nightlife: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 4 / 5

City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €1 for a local Julbrew.
Bed: €15 – 20 for a private room. (Leybato)
Bud: €2 buys you enough for a week!
Board: €5 for a meal in tourist areas.
Budget other: You will need taxis to get around. Add €5 a day to your budget.

Currency Conversion

Overview

The Gambian coast is cheap, fun and relaxed. Did you know it’s also one of the biggest desinations in the world for female sex tourism? 50 year old fat German, Dutch and British chicks with attractive, 6-pack 20 year old Gambians are a common site.  My problem with the Gambia – tourists get hassled more here than anywhere else on the West African Coast. “Bumsters” as they’re known, will approach you constantly. Some of them are alright, but some are just plain annoying. “One Love”, “You are my Brother” and “It’s nice to be nice” will be ringing in your ear every twenty minutes. While Gambians are decent enough and honest, many will try and leech off you. Be polite but assertive in your interactions. That said, Gambians are very relaxed and love to party.

The Girls

If you haven’t already, I’d strongly recommend  you read my article Sex in Africa 101 before continuing.

English is spoken by almost everyone. The majority of local girls are from the Mandinka tribe(42%), followed by the Fulani (18%) then Wolof (mostly in Banjul)  and others. The Mandinka look is quite diverse but in Gambia they are typically quite dark. The Fulani are the lightest tribe, are slighter and have smaller facial features. In general, Gambians aren’t the most beautiful in the region, but plenty have slim and sexy bodies. 90% of the population are Muslim; as a result, most do not drink alcohol. That said, Gambian girls like to let their hair down (but can be hard to find sometimes!). At night, many of the girls come from  other West African countries. They come to earn money as hookers. Most are from Guinea, Mali and Senegal, with some from Liberia and Sierra Leone. These girls tend to be hardcore and are more likely to give you trouble. If you’re looking for a good time, I’d suggest actively hunting down a local Gambian girl. Forget day game and pipelining. If you don’t want to shore, I’d suggest going for bar girls or waitresses (but you probably will be shoring anyway!). If you want to check out more Gambian girls check out this poorly made music video.

Nightlife Recommendations

At night, Senegambia is the place to be. Decline any invitations to reggae parties, they usually all men.

Jokor nighclub

Located in Senegambia, this big open-air club is a little unpredictable. It’s more of a giant function hall so it’s depends on what night you go. It’s very much a local scene. Ask around. Outside of the weekends it can be dead.

Inside Wow

Wow Nightclub

This is the place to be. It’s a little pokey and overpriced, but every night it’s packed full of sexy chicks from all over West Africa. The Balcony outside is a good place to chat up girls. If you’re a white guy you should have no problem picking up here. Just watch your ass! And try and avoid foreigners.

Getting High

Where to buy marijuana: EVERYWHERE! You will be offered it constantly. But ask the staff in your hotel, they will get you a good deal.

Prague Marijuana Prices: It’s practically free, but average quality. Our first night we paid 30 cent for a few grams. 100 Gambian worth (around  €2.50) will get you stoned for a whole week!

My Gambian Experience

This was our first stop on the Siege of West Africa. I was on the coast for 3 nights. I stayed on the beach at Leybato motel and spent my time getting stoned on a hammocks and partying at night. My second night there I met a sexy Gambian Mandinka girl in Wow who invited my back to her place. She was very sweet. My mate Gary the fish also dated a beautiful Gambian who worked at Jokor. In our experience, we found Guinea girls slightly problematic. They’re hardcore, be careful. Also, be wary of bumsters. They became so annoying we just started to pretend we were both from Azerbaijan and spoke no English.

Why not check out more Cheeky City Guides?

Considering visiting Africa?

First time?

For those of you who want to sample the delights of the dark continent, I have two trips that will blow your mind. Countries featured are English speaking, very safe, bureaucratic free and easy to travel in. Both itineraries  can be comfortably completed in under a month.

Check this shit out!

The Eastern Loop

Countries: Uganda, Kenya & Tanzania.

Duration: 3-4 weeks

Trip rating: 4/5

Kenya is a little over-rated, don’t waste too much time here. Get frisky in Metropolitan Nairobi, do the mandatory safari encompassing the Massai Mara then move on. Lake Nukuru is a must.

Tanzania boasts some great sites. Visit Africa’s tallest mountain Mt. Kilomenjaro, afterwards head to idyllic Zanzibar island. You will likely find yourself transiting in Dar es Salaam, not a bad place to party. When you get to the island, spend two nights wondering the cobble stoned streets of gorgeous Stone town, before heading to the pristine white beaches up north.

Uganda is definitively the best of the bunch; the locals are far friendly than surrounding countries. Check out the hedonistic nightlife in Kampala, get your heart pumping white water rafting in Jinja and chill out on an island on serene Lake Bunyoni.

Optional add-on: Consider popping down to Rwanda from Uganda. It is very stable and perfectly safe now. Although Francophone, many of the younger generation also speak English. Malawi and Mozambique is also a possibility. You can also catch a train from Dar es Salaam to Lusaka and add on the Southern Jaunt if you have the time.

The Southern Jaunt

Countries: South Africa, Namibia, Zambia

Duration: 2-4 weeks

Trip rating: 5/5

South Africa is a no-brainer. Base yourself in fabulous Cape Town; experience it’s mutli-cultural vibe and diverse nightlife. For day trips, consider ab-sailing down table mountain, a wine tour in Stellenbosch, and diving with great white sharks! Consider availing of one of the country’s many budget airlines and flying to Zambia.

Zambia is amazing. Get merry with the locals in the capital Lusaka, then head down to Livingstone, one of the best places on earth. Try the world’s best bungee jump, get sauced on a booze cruise on the Zambezi and watch the sun set of one of seven natural wonders of the world – Victoria falls (bloody gorgeous).

Namibia offers some of the most dramatic desert scenery on earth. The capital Windhoek is very pleasant for a day or two, but the action is in Swakopmund. Have a go sand boarding, then go quading through the desert (probably the most fun I’ve had in my life). Then get a superb aerial view of the desert meeting the Atlantic - by jumping out of a plane!

Optional add-ons: If you prefer to overland to Zambia, do a Safari in Botswana. If you have more time, rent a car in Namibia. You can visit the Himba tribe in the north or explore the stunning Skeleton coast further south.

So there you have it! If you have 2 months + consider Nairobi to Cape Town!

All right guys, over the next few weeks I will be giving my big breakdown on West Africa. Expect city guides from every country on the coast, stories, rankings and plenty of solid, sound advice.

West Africa is not for pussies, this is hardcore. Every country is completely different, but in general – bribery, corruption, violence, poverty and lack of infrastructure make this one of the hardest regions in the world to travel. That said, it’s FUCKING FUN! You will never be bored…

In truth, the most dangerous thing about Africa is not war, corrupt officials or street crime – it’s the women!

Welcome to the third world.

If you are considering travelling to sub-sahara Africa there are a few things you should know when it comes to sex…

1. African women have the best bodies in the world.
   Period. That’s coming from a guy who’s been to over 70 countries. They have the slimmest waists, the highest hip to waist ratios, the best bust’n'booty proportions, extremely low upper arm circumference and superb jaw lines and cheek bones. You will easily encounter and mate with the sexiest women of your life on the continent. Furthermore, they know how to exploit their assets to the max!  African women are extremely confident – it’s sexy!
2. Most sexual relationships in sub-Sahara African are transactional.Or at least it seems that way. Unfortunately, this is the rule rather than the exception. Getting sex for free is often a foreign concept for many African men. This sad truth is, at night it’s common to see men compete to pay for sex. This is normal. Remember, poverty is rife, and often this is the only way women can make money. In many cases, the woman in a transactional sexual relationship may remain faithful to her boyfriend, while he may have multiple sexual partners. In other cases, the woman may have multiple partners. It’s a little hard for the visitor to get their head around. The funny thing is, the fact that one doesn’t pay for sex is greeted with equal befuddlement by many women in Africa. This culture is well represented in the number 1 hit playing throughout the continent at the moment… Nwa baby (meaning prostitute). Catchy as hell!
3. On average, 90% of the women you meet at night are prostitutes.
   Building on No.2, most of the girls you meet at night are pros and semi-pros (similar to parts of Asia and Latin America). But don’t worry, this is not always the case. This percentage fluctuates depending on city and venue. You can meet plenty of “good” girls in Africa, but the harsh reality is the “good” girls are either old, too ugly to make money as prostitutes, super religious or rich (very rare). If you don’t pay for sex (like myself), often the only realistic option at night time is to shore. If you haven’t already, read my article shoring 101 before you continue.
4. Be wary of one night stands.
   Sub-Sahara Africa is easily one the most promiscuous places on the planet; one night stands are  very common. But you have been warned – just because a girl agrees to go home with you for free, it doesn’t always pan out the way you like it. Trust your gut. The majority of time you will have a wonderful experience. But pick the wrong chick… after sex she may demand money anyway; ask a large amount for ‘transport’ afterwards; rob you while you’re asleep; tell you a sob story of her sick baby, her mam with no legs etc… It’s not often, but it happens. Don’t want it to happen to you? Follow these simple rules…

   
   Go to their place : not yours. This solves all problems. On my last trip this became a rule for us. At least then if there’s any trouble afterwards you can just leave (or in some cases escape in anti – style). Also she doesn’t know where you live! You are free to move on to the next girl without any repercussions, such as jealous psychos showing up at your door – a recipe for disaster. Alternatively, consider a rent-by-the-hour hotel… not very classy but sound logistacally.

   Travel light: Give everything you own to your mate. Cards, cash (apart from taxi fare), phone, jewelry - everything! They can’t rob you if you don’t have anything. I’m reminded of a funny story in Ghana where two girls brought me back to their place… but that’s for another day.

   Girl Proof : If you must bring a girl home, girl proof your room. Stash all your shit. Even better, if you’re with a friend get him to actually remove everything from the room and let him care for your belongings for the night.

   The whole thing seems overly cautious, but better to be safe than sorry. As mentioned previously, most sexual interactions will be smooth and pleasurable, but 1 in 10 end badly. Play it smart.

   5. HIV and AIDS

   Ok, so West African AIDs rates aren’t that high, but you will likely be sleeping with the virus’s core demographic. Further south, the rate climbs dramatically so make sure you educate yourself. I’ve slipped up a few times, but try and not to follow in my foot steps.

I hope this article is helpful… Feel free to share your experiences here for other travelers. It may sound like rough territory, but I LOVE Africa and would recommend it over any other continent. You can still find plenty of smart, beautiful, caring and incredible women here, perhaps even the mother of your child. If you’re looking for real adventure, incredible scenery, wild sex, and stories that will last a life time… this is the ultimate destination.

Forget what you’ve heard, experience the reality. This is Africa my friends. Welcome to the last frontier. Go.

 

Continued for part 1…

Refugee stats

Take a look at the stats above. Awful as it is, there is a bright side to populations being displaced…

What happens when a beautiful young woman discovers the world of sexual liberalism?

She can remain behind the bastion of creed and culture, but she may tear down the walls. She may find something far more appealing – the holy f#”k. She may choose man over Taliban, trade her prayers for orgasms…

This is good for you, a man who likes exotic and unattainable women. Thanks to war, coups, oppression and famine – these chicks are now fair game! And you don’t have to worry about life imprisonment for sexing them. Let’s take some examples…

The Afghan

It just sounds sexy doesn’t it? Say it out loud.. “My girlfriend’s from Afghanistan.” Want one? Best hunt outside the country’s borders (It doesn’t sound ideal inside). Here’s where you can find them…

Germany	100,000
United Arab Emirates	70,000
United Kingdom	70,000
United States	65,972
Netherlands	38,653
Canada	48,090
Australia	19,416

source: Wikipedia

The Iraqi

It is estimated that around 2.2 million Iraqis have fled the country since 2003. However, apparently Iraqis love to party and if you spend time in the country the flag can be obtained! Fellow Mexican Pirate Gary the fish is in Iraq at the moment… reports coming! If you don’t fancy nipping in, consider a refugee..

• 750,000 are in Jordan,
• 1 million in Syria.
• In 2006, 1.27 million immigrants were granted legal permanent residence in the U.S., including 70,000 refugees.

The Palestinian

Personally, I’d love a Palestinian gf. I’d love to show my solidarity in the most intimate way possible. In all likely hood, Palestine will one day be the world’s newest country. Naughty Nomad recognizes the Palestinian flag. If you’d prefer a wank over the West Bank, once again consider the refugee option…

• Jordan 1,983,733
• Lebanon 425,640
• Syria 472,109
• West Bank 778,993
• Gaza Strip 1,106,195

Burmese

I’ve been to Myanmar; it’s not a easy place to get laid (unless you p4p). There’s 140,000 in relatively liberal Thailand. Dig in… (nasty).

The Saudi

The elusive Saudi is shrouded behind the walls of the mysterious and isolated kingdom of Saudi Arabia. If you’re super hardcore and plan on picking up within the kingdom I suggest your read this article. Otherwise, you’re best bet is getting your flag outside the country. Try Dubai.. I tried to find stats but failed miserably.

North Korea

As the Vatican is not really a flag, the most wanted flag in the world is arguably North Korea. Virtually impossible to capture inside the country, refugees and defectors are the only way to go.

• China has between 20,000-30,000 North Korean refugees. 60% – 70 % of these are women who have been trafficked.
• 10,000 live in Far East Russia
• An average of 3,000 refugees escape to South Korea each year, and the rate of defectors has been increasing year on year.

Boom… feel free to add some info!

Have you got you’re refugee flag yet?

Looking for a good time?

Don’t want to put in a lot of effort?

Why not try some Refugees!

Isolated, homeless and feeling venerable - picking up refugees is as easy as shooting Tutsis in the 90′s! Not only are they easy, just think of the other benefits…

• They’re husbands may be have been imprisoned, or better yet – dead!
• They’re just plain desperate. They don’t even have a place to call home. lol!
• They’re nice and slim from hunger, and easily enticed to perform deplorable acts in exchange for food.

Refugee camps are ideal places to meet women. The girls there may have basic provisions like rice, but where is the sugar? Shouldn’t you, the magnanimous swagabond, donate some penis?

C’mon, don’t be an asshole. All the other guys go for the girls with materialistic possessions, like walls and access to clean water. You know what type of girls I’m talking about – the ones who walk around hydrated, with their fancy $1 sandals and sacks of US aid rice – fucking show offs. Who needs a girl like that? Refugees live life for the moment. Refugees never say no. And even if they do.. who cares? Often rape is often the only way they get any action anyway.

Ok, so the joy you give these crushed souls will be only temporary… but so is her UNICEF tent! She’s used to it! Plus, once you leave, she’ll no doubt feel used, abandoned and worthless. Harsh lessons, but these feelings will prepare her for the ensuing life of poverty and deprivation she will have to embrace in the years to come. So go on, be a hero… get your refugee game on.

…..

Location: Lome, Togo.

But satire aside, Gary the fish and I did manage to get picked up by some Ivorian refugees. They were actually quite well off. My girl treated me to bottle service in a high end Togolese nightclub, whereas Gary managed to steal his girl from the French ambassador! Good times.

The truth is, often it’s actually easier to pick up girls outside their country of origin. This is epically true when the country in question is sexually repressive.  In my next post Refugee game (part 2), I will be investigating these populations for your benefit… stay tuned.

 

 

Some would say Flagging is a shallow practice, but it’s hard to help when you’re on the road.

Some guys want 50 flags, some want to go around the world in 80 girls, but I’m a little hesitate to set flagging goals. My goal is to VISIT EVERY COUNTRY in the world (preferably before 35), whatever flags I pick along the way are a big bonus. I may not have an end number in mind, but I will admit – I’m definitely a slave to the flag.

I counted up recently and it’s turns out the capturing of my Ghana flag puts my flag count at 40. I thought I’d mark the occasion with a post dedicated to my flags…

in alphabetical order..

Angola

Australia

Brazil

Cambodia

Cameroon

Canada

Cote d’Ivoire

Denmark

Dominican Republic

East Timor

Estonia

Ethiopia

France

The Gambia

Germany

Ghana

Guinea

Haiti

Indonesia

Ireland

Isreal

Japan

Liberia

Macedonia

Malaysia

Mali

Malta

Moldova

Nigeria

Norway

The Philippines

Portugal

Sierra Leone

Spain

Thailand

Uganda

Ukraine

United Kingdom

United States

Zambia

Mongolia

Panama

Cyprus

Iran