Bratislava in a word: Stunted.

Chance of Hooking up: 3 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €1.80 for a large beer.
Bed: €35 for a private room.
Bud: €10 per gram.
Board: €2 for a kebab.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Bratislava looks pretty plain compared to other capitals in central Europe, but it’s still perfectly pleasant. It’s got a castle and few cute town squares, but doesn’t merit more than a weekend. Oh yeah – go on the weekend!

The Girls

Slovaks are attractive and resemble Czech or Polish girls. On average, they are ever so slightly darker and a little more curvier. They are not as hot as the Poles, but make up for it with their (relative) warmness and their down to earth attitude. Typical to Eastern Europe, girls take care of their weight. Most of the local talent hibernate during the week and emerge on Friday and Saturday nights. Don’t even think about hitting the ground cold in Bratislava mid-week – you’ll be a lonely boy. Plus the sex ratio is very unfavourable. If you do, your only option is  day game. This is actually a good option as Slovakian girls are pretty receptive to foreigners compared to others in the area.  English is wide spread. For more info on picking up Slovak girls click here.

Nightlife Recommendations

Bratislava is only good on the weekend. Go to the student village (10 mins by taxi) if you visit mid-week. Bratislava doesn’t do big venues, so don’t expect too much. Do the be-free pub crawl if your there on the weekend. I was there Tuesday and Wednesday so consider that with the following recommendations. Bear in mind – I must have hit a dozen venues over the two days.

Havana

Definitely to coolest venue in the city. Live Cuban music, cocktails and a party atmosphere – I love this little bar. Not a super place to pick up however as it’s a popular date spot and the crowd’s a wee bit older. A great place to warm up or bring a date. You might find a few horny cougars at the bar.

Infinity

This place is awkwardly situated, loud and really shit, but the quality of ass is second to none. It’s the kind of place where peakcocking should be employed. It’s a small club and entrance starts at €3. The staff are sexy as hell too.

FYI- Nu-Spirit club is cock fest and Channels is a pretentious shit-hole.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s input: Go to the Rock  bar across from Nu Spirit club.

Buy Marijuana in Bratislava: The safest bet would be to sit in one of the city’s trendy café’s and ask young people at nearby tables.

Almost all of the pot is home-grown either in backyards, at country houses or in small indoor plots. Your best way to get a good toke is to find a pub filled with young Slovaks, sit down and strike up a conversation. The people are extremely friendly, especially compared to Czechs.

More on price: If you are buying, expect to pay about $15 USD per gram for pot of moderate to low quality. Hash may be available, but is expensive and very difficult to find.

My Bratislava Experience

My first night here I must have been to eight or nine venues. The place was a ghost town apart from the odd half-full bar. The only place I really warmed to was Havana. The second night I had a date with a Slovak girl and had an excellent night. I’d consider returning, but only on a weekend with friends.

Why not check out more Cheeky City Guides?

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This entry was posted on Saturday, March 19th, 2011 at 9:00 am and is filed under City Guides, Slovakia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.