Having done a fair amount of travelling in nearly sixty countries, I often get asked about my favourite spots. A place close to my heart, Ethiopia is always first on my list. Here’s 10 reasons you should visit…

1. The Women are Gorgeous

This is Naughty Nomad so this is obviously the first thing that comes to mind. The women of Ethiopia have some of the most exotic and beautiful women on the planet. They have perfect bone structure, cute noses and beautiful skin glazed in a bronze, caramel hue. As for their bodies – they are wonderfully slim with great breasts and plump apple booties. They also smoke weed, listen to reggae and know how to dance, cook and truly please a man. Sounds likes a dream eh? Ethiopian girls rock!

2. It’s Cheap

Ethiopia is one of the cheapest countries in the world. Try 10 cent for coffee, beers for less than a dollar and a room for less than $5. You can live like a king here. I was there in 2007, where you could get 12 Birr for a Euro. You can now get 22 Birr for a Euro!!!

3. There’s TONS to see and do

Here’s just some of the places you can visit in the country:

• Gondor: The camelot of Africa.
• Lilibela: 13 churches built into the ground.
• Rift Valley: Safari anyone?
• Shashmane: Rasta mecca.
• Aksum: Rumored to have the Lost Ark.
• Harare: Walled city where you can feed hyenas!
• Bahar Dar: Lake monasteries and stunning waterfalls.
• Addis Ababa: The crazy capital where anything goes.
• Any café: Did you know coffee was first cultivated in Ethiopia!?

4. No Tourists

Ethiopia is notoriously hard to get to overland. When you travel the country, you will hardly ever see another traveller. It feels like you have the country all to yourself.

 

5. The Landscape is Spectacular

Ethiopia is awe-inspiring. It has an incredibly diverse landscape, from mountainous rainforests where waterfalls flow, to epic plateaus and steppes,  to barren wastelands stretching the Oganden dessert. It seems behind every corner there’s something that takes your breath away.

 

6. Culture is Abundant

Ethiopia was the only country on the continent not colonised in the scramble for Africa. This isolation has kept Ethiopian culture intact.  There are dozens are tribes, all with their own unique traditions and rituals. The main  language is known as Amharic, which even has its own alphabet. Ethiopia was one of the world’s first Christian countries (4th Century) and is also the spiritual homeland of Rastafasti. The name Rastafari is taken from Ras Tafari, the pre-regal title of Haile Selassie I, composed of Amharic Ras (literally “Head,” an Ethiopian title equivalent to Duke), and Haile Selassie’s pre-regal given name, Tafari. The colours synonymous with reggae (Green, Yellow & Red) are derived from the Ethiopian flag. Queen Sheeba was also said to bore the 13th tribe of Israel here.

7. The Food

Ethiopian food is an experience. Various spicy, delicious dishes are plonked on a large pancake-like stable know as injera.  The whole thing is a communal affair and is eaten using your hand. Some Ethiopian girls will even hand-feed you.. it’s so fuckin’ sexy.

8. The Ganja

Weed is everywhere in Ethiopia – it’s part of the everyday life. If you’re a smoker, welcome to paradise! I once bought a kilo for $4.50 in Shashamane.  The quality can vary, but you can get Grade-A stuff in the capital. Most young people smoke too.

9. It’s the Cradle of Mankind

From all the scientific evidence, it is suggested our species originated from in the Rift Valley in Africa. Some of the world’s oldest humanoid fossils have been found here. Ethiopia may be well be our first home. Visiting the country feels like a pilgrimage for any evolutionist, humanist, atheist or agnostic.

10. The Nightlife is Fantastic

The nightlife is Addis Ababa is like no other. Every night there’s a party going on. You got everything from classy jazz cafés, to cool reggae bars to sleazy nightclubs. Ethiopian dance style employs the  shoulders and is a sight to behold.  The girls are dressed up and drool worthy. With any luck, you won’t go home alone!

So there you have it…

Man, I can’t wait to return!!!

I have an Cheeky Addis Ababa City Guide if want to know more!

Feel free to leave a comment.

What’s your favourite place and why?

 

Port-au-Prince in a word: Post-apocalyptic.

Chance of Hooking up: 4 / 5
Quality of Girls: 2.5 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 3 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €1 a beer in centre/€3 in Pétionville.
Bed: under €20 i / €50 for a private room.
Bud: ? €40 per oz.
Board: €2-3 for a fast food meal.
Budget other: Prices vary massively. A coffee in a nice place in Petionville could cost the same as three meals downtown. Pay for a moto-taxi at night – trust me.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Port-au-Prince is two cities. The city centre around Champs de Mars looks post-apocalyptic, a sty of filth & rumble with immense poverty and makeshift camps galore. If you’re white you might experience a little racism. Some Haitians are convinced the US sent a missile underwater to re-direct the earthquake away from Florida (I’m serious). So as far as they’re concerned – you’re white, therefore American, therefore you killed gramma. Most visitors stay in the richer suburb of Pétionville, 20 minutes away. It’s a town that looks nearly as developed a Dominican town and has decent nightlife options. I stayed in both places for your benefit.

The Girls

The 2.5 rating applies to the general population. Don’t let it put you off, Port-au-Prince is not short on sexy girls – especially in Pétionville. Miss Hatiti (pictured right) isn’t representative of the population. Most Haitian are much darker and have West African features. Haitian girls have a serious talent for dirty dancing and have tight, yet voluptuous bodies. If you’re a foreigner,  you will receive plenty of attention. Dating a girl who lives in a tent with their family can get complicated, so if you want to pick up, your best bet is definitely Pétionville. The highest quality girls are here; well breed with good looks and higher income. Some even have jobs or attend university. They’re more likely to speak some English too. However, for most women you will need a little French. During the day, go for the girls who are working or frequent coffee shops. Just go over and ask for their number, it’s easy.

Night game is where it’s at in Haiti. When the sun goes down, you will find loads of English-speakers in the high end bars. Most male-female interactions take place on the dance floor. Expect raunchy introductions.

For more sexy pics of Sarodj click here.

Nightlife Recommendations

If you’re staying in Pétionville, stay there – it’s superior. That said, if you like it rough and ready head to the centre for an adventure. I’ve given tips on both…

City centre:

Bar De lere

I’m pretty sure this was the name of this street-corner bar. It’s open 24 hours, busy every night and a local only affair. Girls will stare at you over their boyfriends shoulders. Game, but thread carefully, make sure you befriend some guys so you don’t have any trouble.

Resto Amore

This salsa bar/restaurant may be the only place in the city where women outnumber men. The weekdays are vapid, but there’s still a few chicas about trying out their moves on the dance floor. If I recall it’s on Avenue. H. Christophe.

* If you’re there on the weekend hit up Monte Cristo or Palladium.

Pétionville:

Barak

This bar is a little over-priced, but attracts beautiful women (many of who are working by the way). You can shore, but you will have to lie about how long you’re in town. On the weekends it attracts all sorts. Not a bad place to warm up before my next recommendation…

Jetset

Probably the coolest bar in the whole country. On the weekends, this place is fucking crazy. There are pool tables, a cool crowd and a pumping dance floor. This is definitely the place to be. It’s quiet on the weekdays, but I was there on a Monday and still pulled.

Check on this video I found on Port-au-Prince Nightlife

Getting High

courtesy of webehigh.com

Law enforcement: The Haiti police is corrupt so with some dollar you can bride them if you get caught.

Where to buy marijuana: You must know somebody, but because you are a tourist ask the taxi driver or somebody from your hotel.

Marijuana prices: “500 Gourdes” for a good joint.

My Port-au-Prince Experience

Port-au-Prince was a roller-coaster ride, but all-in-all I really enjoyed my time there. I strongly recommend people visit. Haiti was the highlight of my trip to Hispaniola. My last night there I got mugged and laid in the same night, read about my crazy story here.

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Santiago in a word: so-so.

Chance of Hooking up: 3.5 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €2.00 for a pint bottle.
Bed: €6 i / €10 for a private room.
Bud: €40 for an once.
Board: €2-3 for a fast food meal.
Budget other: The 6 Euro rooms are brothels/roach-fests, spend the extra few quid for a decent hotel room. Also, taxis are needed for clubs outside the centre.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Santiago is so-so. The area around the monument is the heart of the city, but outside of that there’s not much going on. It lacks the charm of the capital and receives little or no tourism. From your point of view that a good thing, as you’ll be a more exotic here than in other parts of the country. Go on the weekend.

The Girls

While the majority of women here are mulatto, Santiago’s population is said to be a little ‘lighter’ than the capital’s. A more detailed detailed description of the Dominican look is in the Santo Domingo guide. For more pics of sexy Dominicans click here.

For day game it’s a little awkward. In truth, exceptional beauties are hard to find, especially in the centre. The standard isn’t great. You will have to take a trip to more fertile pastures. The international plaza is not a bad place to start, but the best hunting ground by far is PUCMM, the city’s main university. Here you have the highest quality girls around and many of them have a least a  little English. Take a public car with Route K on the windsheild. You can find them heading Eastward anywhere on Av Las Carreras. They cost a mere 50 peso (€1). Tell them “Universidad Puc-ca my -ma”. Boom, you’re there. Number close a few girls (just approach and ask them about good bars and shit) then txt them for a meet up.  Sound like too much effort? Just Pipeline instead (make sure you do so in Spanish). For any meet-up, you will be expected to pay for drinks.

For night game, open in bad Spanish. Once they recognise you’re a foreigner, you will generally receive a good reaction. You’re exotic here remember? Make sure you find out where the girl lives when you meet her first. Some chicks ask for car fare the next morning. If you know where she lives, you won’t get taken for a ride. It cost no more than €1 – €2 to go anywhere in the city. Accompany her home if she tries to take the piss. Anyway, for venues check out my nightlife advise. Remember - dancing is always great ice-breaker in DR.

Nightlife Recommendations

Much of Santiago’s nightlife is concentrated around the monument. Options are limited during the week, but you can still find a few chicas about.

Tolentino Street

There are a few places on this street to pick up. On the weekend, I’d say this place is CRAZY. Classier folks head to Ahi-bar, but it’s not necessarily the best place for picking up. The smaller places are more conducive. I had success in tiny ‘One-bar’ beside El jarro bar. I also picked up on the little corner bar beside one-way disco. You can get some hotties on the other corner bar on the other side of the street, and Ibiza opposite El Jarro. A lot of the bars on the street close at 12AM during the week, 2AM weekends.

Vintage

It’s small and shit, but consistent. It’s free in, gets a crowd every night and attracts high quality girls. The club is housed in Matum casino. Things doesn’t really pick up until after 1am. I scored here, but I recall it was difficult to compete with the sound system. If it’s the weekend, stick around Tolentino Street for the night.

* Another source recommends H20 by plaza Barcelona. Take a taxi.

Getting High

Nomad’s input: You’re better off getting it in Sosua. Otherwise ask around PUCMM.

Legislation: CATEGORY ONE: Simple Possession. Defined as possession of 20 grams or less. Minimum: 6 months in prison and a fine of RD $1,500. Maximum: 2 years in prison and a fine of RD$2,500. In the case of simple possession, persons who are deemed accomplices will be sanctioned with the same penalties imposed on the principal offender.

Marijuana prices: RD$1500-2000 an oz. (US$50-65 / €40)

My Santiago Experience

I was in Santiago mid-week for four days. It was pretty easy to pick up here and I only spent one night alone, and that’s because I was tired and packed it in! I would like to have spent more time here, but only to experience the weekend and date more chicas; I had a backlog. Pity I had to make tracks. That said, I don’t think I’d return, I have little affection for the city itself.

Resources:

DR forum: How to pick up girl in the Dominican Republic - here.

Rooshvforum on DR here.

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

Santo Domingo in a word: Dependable.

Chance of Hooking up: 4 / 5
Quality of Girls: 3 / 5
Smoking tolerance level: 2 / 5
City guide ratings explained

Costs €$£

Beer: €3.00 for a pint bottle.
Bed: €8 i / €20 for a private room.
Bud: €40 for an once.
Board: €3 for a fast food meal.
Budget other: It’s €3 each way for taxis to Venezuela Street from Zona.
Currency Conversion

Overview

Santo Domingo is dependable. If you know where to look, every night here can be a party.  The capital is a walk-able city with a laid back vibe, with Zona Colonia as it’s heart. Feel free to soak in it, date some chicas and hang out for awhile.

The Girls

Dominican women come in many forms. 73% describe themselves as mixed race and it certainly looks that way. While some are black as spades and others very fair, the majority are somewhere in the middle. To generalise, the population are a mix of Latin and African genes, with most being pretty dark. While many sport a wee bit of a belly, expect fantastic tits and ass to compensate. Exceptional beauties are hard to find, but there is not shortage of sexy chicks about to take home. No shit, I actually hooked up with that girl in the picture my first night in in DR. However, most Dominican women look more like Arlenis Sosa pictured here.

Dominican girls LOVE foreigners but you should learn some basic Spanish. Most of the girls have very little (if any) English. This means you will need to Pipeline in Spanish, not English.  In terms of night game, it’s pretty easy to pick up. Just get dancing. Beware, some girls are on the game so you might end up shoring. If you think the girl is working (if they’re exceptionally forward), make sure you agree sex is for free BEFORE it happens. Many men report bringing a innocent seeming Dominican girl back home only to find she wants money the next morning. Day game is a great option in the DR in general. If you exchange numbers, expect the girl to call you, not text. This is difficult without Spanish so if you can find a translator (preferable another bar girl) to speak for you and set up a meet up.

Nightlife Recommendations

There are two main areas for nightlife – Zona Colonia & Venezuela Avenue, with the latter catering for locals rather than tourists. If it’s the weekend, Zona is great. On the weekdays not so, so hit Venezuela. I’ve given a run-down of my favourite joints. The last two places are the best ones for hooking up…

Café de Toi

A small, low key private bar in Zona. A little bit pricey, but it feels like a house party. It’s better during the weekend. When everywhere else in the city is closed, this place is still open until the early hours…

BIO

I love the music here. A cool rock bar with a nice crowd, but only buzzin’ on weekends. Good place to warm up for the night.

The Mango Tree (El árbol de Mango)

My favourite place in Zona (near BIO), this bar attracts a real artsy, classy yet bohemian crowd. The set up both inside and outside is also pretty conducive for game. A bit cliquey, but the chicks here are decent quality. Again, it’s a weekend only affair.

Makumba (Venezuela Ave)

No matter what night of the week, this place is packed and pumping until 4AM. Furthermore, The club has an abundance of locals keen to bump ‘n’ grind. The beers are cheap and the women are friendly. The crowd is mainly students, players or lower-income chicks. If you know even basic Spanish it’s easy to pick up here.

Getting High (courtesy of webehigh.com)

Nomad’s input: Email me for a contact

Legislation: CATEGORY ONE: Simple Possession. Defined as possession of 20 grams or less. Minimum: 6 months in prison and a fine of RD $1,500. Maximum: 2 years in prison and a fine of RD$2,500. In the case of Simple Possession, persons who are deemed accomplices will be sanctioned with the same penalties imposed on the principal offender.

Where to buy marijuana: This is really a place where you have to know somebody (I’m sorry). You’ll never see anyone smoking on the street. Maybe a cool bartender can help but you better visit a few times before risking it.

Marijuana prices: RD$1500-2000 an oz. (US$50-65)

My Santo Domingo Experience

After my crazy first night in DR, I have a soft spot for the city. I spent 5 days there during which I’ve shored, dated Dominican beauty queens, and hooked up with a few students from Makumba. I picked up in Café de Toi and even Saturday in the liquor store beside Hostel Colonia. I wish I had more time hanging out in the city. Too many girls, not enough time.

Resources:

DR forum: How to pick up girl in the Dominican Republic - here.

Rooshvforum on DR here.

Why not check out more cheeky City Guides?

I came to Haiti looking for trouble. I found it…

Monday night was one of the most dramatic nights of my life. Read on for the sex & violence…

I stumbled out of the pub, oblivious to the imminent danger. It was my second night in Port-au-Prince, the archaic capital of Haiti. I was in Petionville, a rich suburb a world away from central part of the city I was in the night before…

Enter Chaos

My first day in the capital, I moseyed a few kilometres south of the bus station into a ghetto north of Champs de Mars. The place was leveled, with the facade of a post-apocalyptic war zone. One of the buildings left standing, a unstable three story structure hunched in the middle, had ‘hotel’ painted on the wall. I checked in. My room was a roach-fest but I was right in the heart of ground zero. On the streets, people gawked at me like I had two heads. Much of the roads were a maze of open sewers, lined with rubbish and hundreds of hawkers selling anything they could. On several occasions, I even saw women just hunch down, and purge themselves right by the roadside. Many crossroads have become massive dumping grounds, where massive piles of filth have accumulated in hills several metres high. All this, to a backdrop of endless make shift camps and rumble.

That first night, I recklessly wondered the streets of one the most dangerous places on earth. Groups of suspicious looking men would stare at me in silence as I walked past. “Salut!” I´d say, and be on my way. The whole night passed without incident, and this on the day crowds swarmed many streets as the election resulted were revealed.

After with such a daring (some would say suicidal) excursion into the underworld of Port-au-Prince, a night bar hopping in the relatively affluent suburb of Petionville seemed a doddle. Wrong.

I was Attacked...

I stumbled out a bar, on my way to see a bartender I was chatting up earlier in the night. Before I knew it I was surrounded by 4 guys.

“Give me fucking money!” One screamed in my face.

They encircled me and squared up. I was royally fucked and couldn’t escape. They start pillaging my pockets.

“Ok, Relax, no problem.”

I lift up my arms and show no resistance. It wasn’t fucking worth it. I didn’t want things to get violent, not with me vs 4 Haitian guys. Luckily, I was prepared. I knew to have barely anything on me. They took my shitty $10 phone I got in East Timor, a bracelet bestowed on me by a Maltese lover and all my drinking money. After that, things got heated. They tried to remove my shoes – that was the line. I got in a brawl and started shouting out for help. There was no chance I was crusin´around barefoot for the rest of the night, it’s just not sexy. Just before they managed to get the second shoe off, help arrived. A moto roared up and the gang scampered. It was a shitty experience, made worse by the fact I was only 100 metres away from the police station. At least I was unharmed.

One more beer (part 2)

After making a report, the moto driver was kind enough to drop me to Jetset, the name of the high end bar my target was working at. I wasn’t about to let some thugs ruin my night. The place looked pretty sedated. I had laid the ground work early in the night so the staff gave me a hearty welcome when I walked in. I pull up chair and tell them what happened. My target sympathised and brought me a beer on the house. Word quickly spread around the counter. A beautiful Haitian girl speaks to me across the bar. She’s young and very slender, with an ass that could start wars. Her English was excellent, a rare thing in Haiti.

“Awhh, poor you. Do you need someone to console you?”

There was a glint in her eye. We got talking, much the annoyance of my bartender. I didn’t care, this hottie was a sure thing. Within 5 minutes, she went for the kill.

“I think you need me to accompany you home. I can be your bodyguard.”

We hopped on a moto, went to back to my hotel…
She was amazing. I couldn’t keep my hands off her. Her body was so divine and addictive. Her plump ebony lips performed masterfully. For the second time in my life, I had quadruple orgasms.

It’s nice went stories have happy endings…

Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Cap Haitien.

What are one´s first impressions of Cap?

Haiti is essentially Africa in the Caribbean. Expect a lot of stares, blackouts and dirt everywhere. If this is your first stop in Haiti, you’re going to be pretty freaked out. If you’re coming from the capital, Cap will seem pretty laid back. The safety issue here is less of a concern than in Port au Prince. I had no problem stumbling the streets alone in the early hours.

What are the women like?

Most Haitiens have West African features. While they can be hit or miss in terms or facial features, their bodies more than make up for it, certainly trumping the Dominican belly. Expect slim chicks with plump apple bottoms and solid hip to waist ratios. Haitien girls are also some of the sexiest dancers I’ve ever seen. In terms of raw sex appeal, I’d reckon the locals can compete with their Domincian neighbours any day. Haitien girls are also very curious about foreign men and will want to jump your bones. They look at you like a piece of meat. Some French makes all the difference. Day game is recommended if you’re alone, at night the guys are can get pretty territorial.

Where should I go at night-time?

There is zero info online about Cap nightlife so I’m happy to be the first to dish the dirt. I stalked the whole city trying to find anything that resembles a disco. I found it – a place called Versailles. You’re welcome. A movie theatre by day, this place transformed to a Cap’s only disco at night. I was the only white person there but it was great fun and houses a dance floor pumpin’ out great music. At the start of the night its completely dark so it’s not great (apparently its so people can fool around). Later on, things light up and you can holla’ at some chicas. Beers are only a Euro. Enjoy!

Any other recommendations?

Hit up Labadee close by if you want to go from third world to a first Carribean beach resort in one car ride. The owners of the Sandbar Island boat will show you a good time.

The Bottom Line

Very laid back, but a great town to experience Haitien culture.

Snapshots are mini town/city guides for smaller places or cities I have only experienced briefly. Here’s a little snapshot of Sosua.

What are one´s first impressions of Sosua?

The “Phuket” of DR sounds promising. There´s music pumping, a decent gaggle of girls about and it´s beside the beach. Sounds good eh? FAIL. Sosua is really disappointing.  The beach isn´t bad, the accomodation great, but the party scene during the week is quite sedated. The weekend is much better. That said, having Phuket and Sosua in the same sentence is like putting Jessica Alba next to Susan Boyle. No competition.

What are the women like?

The standard in Sosua is quite poor in comparsion to the rest of the country. The girls here are either wrecked, drug addicted or poverty stricken. There is the odd hottie but nearly all the chicas in the bars are hardcore pros. They´re less freindly and more cunning then what you would find in Asia. You can shore, but it takes a little effort and you´ll just feel dirty afterwards. Hit on the bar girls.

Where should I go at night-time?

Cabarete, the next town! But seriously, it´s easy to find a place if you just walk down the main strip. Places like Latinos or Club Classico are a little more lively. If you want to hit on strippers go to Passions.

Any other recommendations?

Go on the weekend. Hit the beach. Coco hotel is a great budget option. You can bring girls back, it has a pool and if you´re looking for some smoke you`ll get pointed in the right direction. It´s around 2000 pesos for per oz.

The Bottom Line

If you’re looking for decent chicks, skip it.